Post-grad Brookers book in here!

[TooImmatureTurtleDoves]

Thread 2.

Love what you've done to the place Too

Does someone clever want to do a link to the new thread for the ante natal and ttc threads? I can't do it from my phone.....

Popping in

Popping back out see you later brookers

marking place for later...

Why did you have to pick tonight to change your nightime routine, baby?

it's all gone a bit wrong here too. not been to sleep yet, apart from accidental nap. was getting DS2 ready for last nappy change before bed and dropped off. then woke up and had to change him (cue screaming cos he was hungry) then feed him again, it seemed to come out a bit fast and he panicked, choked and did a big poo. so i changed him again and got myself ready and I'm now trying to get him settled to sleep. yawn.
c'Mon wee Brookers

andstop snoring DH!

Ditto for extra feeds here! What's going on?

Zzzzzzzzx

Marking place!

Go. To. Sleep

Please???

Here you all are.

I'm with biscuits.

Go. To. Sleep.
Please

Oh, and i have the twin GUILT tonight. I've started a bath every evening.to try and help mine work out night is starting wildly unsuccessfully . Tonight I did DT2 first (dh is upstairs doing DD, I'm doing the boys downstairs with a baby bath so she gets a pleasant bath without howling) and he cried so hard he was hardly catching his breath sounded genuinely distressed and by the time DT1 was dry and dressed he'd fallen asleep and I felt just awful... :( He'd enjoyed his bath, just not getting dressed, then was calm expecting cuddles and milk probably but got stuck in a bounced chair and left while i did DT1. He didn't even sleep long either, maybe 15 minutes so not worth the stress of hearing him sob like that. hardly a relaxing bedtime routine either...

I felt a bit better today though that my mum really feels they're very unsettled and cry excessively rather than just me being tuned in to their crying too much. I know i might have to toughen up, but it doesn't come naturally to hear my babies cry without trying to comfort.

Oh and your poor dh too, plus you having to support him too, I find it very hard my dh just not enjoying the twins and being a bit down about our current life of infant slavery because there's nothing i can do. Depression must be so much worse

pomme I'm also coming round to dhsvwsy of thinking of no more children for the same reasons (not the extra scans, unless i had twins again which is 1 in 16 I think-eek!) But the providing for them.

Or at least if you don't want to sleep, maybe just lie there quietly so I can???

Oh, the pox . Plus one of those nappy changes

When I was feeding E earlier, I counted how many spots I could see, and I got to 80 just on the side of his head that I could see while feeding iyswim

Bathing twins must be incredibly difficult Dream. I have the same problem with ds2 dropping off to sleep while I'm bathing ds1 if I do them both together, but at least I'm not having to hold ds1 in the bath, so I tend to give him some tummy time etc to fill the time because I turn him back over easily, which you couldn't do if you're holding the other twin in the bath. Very very tricky .

What was your plan? Bath one twin, bath the other and then tandem feed them? Could you perhaps do the bedtime routine separately for them until they get a bit more settled? So bath and sort one out, get him in bed, then do t'other one? I know it means one goes to bed later but the time doesn't really matter I guess? You might also find that the first one is waking up by the time the second is in bed but at least they'd have had that bath-bed routine?

Or, perhaps you could start the twins a fraction earlier and have DH help with the twins then leave you to feed them and do dd's bath then? I know you're having to be pretty particular about DD's routine though to get her down too.

What a palarva

Or, what about if the bath wasn't part of the routine every night? Perhaps just make the routine slightly different and bath them on a different night to dd so DH could help with them? Gosh if it came to it you could even bath each twin on a different night so you did a bath each night and just rotated which child was in it so they took turns each night?

Hope they've slept a bit for you at least xxx

Morning all. These night shifts don't get any easier do they?

Poor DS2 with his spots Biscuits Brooking that today is the day it turns into recovery and no more spots break out.

Too I don't know anything about depression, but you have my sympathies. I imagine that must be really hard on you. Is DH aware that he's slipping into it? Is it something he's willing to manage with meds or is there anything else he can do for treatment?

Dream aside from the stress, bathing twins and DD sounds a logistical nightmare! I have no advice, but as ever I'm completely in awe of you and how you manage.

Yesterday without DH was actually ok. Admitedly I feel a bit of a cheat as DS was at nursery most of the day and also my Mum came over. She did a mahoosive pile of ironing for me. DH left for work at 5.30am this morning as he has a meeting 3 hours drive away so won't be back until 7ish tonight. Today is the real test as DS is home all day also. Fingers crossed!

Oh and Jaggy I'm brooking for your DS2's bum to clear up immediately. What causes that?

Good luck today Scarlet - brooking all goes well and your DH is home before you know it xx

Scarlet yay for being eased into DH-less time yesterday. Fingers crossed today with DS goes smoothly as well!

Dream big hugs!! That sounds like such a tough situation! It does sound almost impossible to implement a bedtime routine for twins without help. I'm sure you've already considered this, but couldn't you make the boys' bedtime after your DD's bedtime? So your DH can help? Whatever you decide, I'm No Brooking for things to get easier across the board.

Biscuits poor little E! No Brooking for a speedy recovery starting today - no new spots!

Jaggy I can't believe your DS2's sore little bum is bleeding! I had no idea nappy rash could be so harsh! Poor little man, and poor you as well - it must be upsetting for you! I second the person who suggested nappy free time? Also maybe going back to the gp and demanding something stronger. Sometimes I find it helpful to look up remedies online, and go in to the gp with a suggested prescription - my gp is pretty clueless though so I'm not sure if that's normal!

Autumn is being a little sweetie and actually slept a little last night which was greatly appreciated. I've discovered I need to implement a bedtime routine for my DH before I get going with DD though! After all my instructions to DH of different ways to help DD distinguish night and day, DH then kept her in the sitting room from midnight to 5am with the main lights on, the tv on, his computer on, and her sleeping in the carrycot she uses for daytime naps. ARGHHHHHHHHHH!!! Cue 5am bickering....!

Gaaah, last night was terrible! Wide awake flailing baby, not actually all that hungry and just refusing to look sleepy! I kept offering her the boob because that usually helps, but she wasn't really interested, so would suck a bit with much pulling my nipple around, arms going like windmills, scratching me with her little nails. She just wanted to be played with, but I didn't want to stimulate her even more. She wasn't wailing or distressed, just hyper. We actually took her for a drive at 1am to try to get her to sleep, but after half an hour's drive she just popped awake again as soon as DH lifted her out of the car seat. She eventually went down at half past 2 and lasted until 7.15.

hi all

Finally, finally on the computer but will have to be quick as think dt2 going to wake up

hawthers, I imagine having relatives with a similar problem to your DS1 must be so stressful, in more ways than one. Lets hope its not quite as bleak as not survivable, as though your situation with DS1 in hospital for 16 weeks after birth was very, very far from ideal you got through it and can enjoy your beautiful healthy boy.

oh, rubbish, he's woken up.

I'm going to selfishly add to the bath situation so you can fix it for me :)

DD has a bath quite deep and hot- too hot for babies, as she has always had one with dh or I (I miss not having a bath with DD!) . I gues we will change that it just depends when to add the boys in with her- could start now. Our bath is a silly P-shaped one iykwim, with a glass shower guard thing at one end that only opens into the bath not away from it so reduces the space to get at little people in the bath.
Last night I was planning on doing DT2, then doing dt1 then tandem feeding as biscuits says. There is no chance of bed afterwards yet. They do actually scream or feed all evening, but I was just doing it anyway.... So I did DT2 who then broke my heart by sobbing and screaming and getting totally distressed then falling asleep in the bouncy chair while I had dt 1 in the bath. They had both been feeding or screaming all afternoon, so presumably not starving, but not fed. DH is not always home before 7, or even 7:30. So hard to rely on him. But could try and rope a parent into staying even longer... hmm

oh, can't take the crying... got to go...

Right ok, the bath situation.....

So I'm guessing that the aim long term would be to get a bath-feed-bed thang going on, even if the bed bit is a little ambitious yet?

If you were to put both twins in the bath with dd would that not require you and DH to be there to hold one DT each? I know what you mean about the p shaped bath - ours is the same. Maybe I'm missing a trick though as to how one of you could do all 3 together? I'm intending to bath ds2 separately until he can sit unaided and then he can go in with ds1.

So one option would be to bath dt1 then feed dt1 then bath dt2 then feed dt2. I guess though there is a fair chance that dt1 isn't going to be nice and quiet while you feed and bath dt2?

How often do you bath dd? I would be tempted, if DH is not home to only take on bathing DD or the twins. Or indeed if it was a bad day, none of them!

Even if DH is home it might make sense to only do the twins or dd? Or does dd have a bath every day? Could you move her bath earlier or later for a few months until they can be combo-bathed?

If DH was home and you only had the twins to bath I'd get him to do the bathing and you feed each twin as they're out of the bath. That's what we did with ds1, and what we do with ds2 if DH is home now.

I'm not being much help I'm afraid. I just wonder if, even of DH is home, bathing 3 of them between 2 at the same time is too much. Because ultimately one person gets left to bath the twins, and that's always going to be tricky.

I can only bath ds1 and ds2 in the same session because ds1 is that much more self sufficient. So he either plays, gets undressed or 'helps' while I bath ds2. Then I put ds1 in to play while I dress ds2 (obv still supervising ds1). Then I give ds2 some tummy time and do the washing bits of DS1. Then get ds1 out and dry and dressed and do story / bed etc. but that's the tricky bit if on my own as there is every risk ds2 might fall asleep while I'm getting ds1 in bed.

But as I say that only works because ds1 is more self sufficient. I doubt I could even easily do that if I had ds1 at 19 mths like your dd. And I only have one baby to bath.

I'm considering starting the baths earlier if I'm on my own so that I could bath ds2, then ds1 then get ds1 out and into pjs but then leave him to play while I feed ds2 and then put ds1 into bed so I'm not rushing through his story.

Anyway, in summary I reckon that the trick has to be to bath as few children as possible at the same time. No need to make it more difficult for yourself than is absolutely necessary.

Can I ask a question Dream. When you were pg, you referred to DT1 and DT2. Do you still label them the same way round? Which is which and was dt1 born first?

Afternoon all. Will probably do a series of posts as I won't remember everything in one!

Scream so glad Autumn slept well with your DH. Mine doesn't listen to my instructions advice either! Re picking up on cues, for tiredness the Baby Whisperer suggests looking out for the first yawn (though not one straight after a nap obviously) and settling the baby in a quiet dim room, where they'll generally take about 20 mins to gradually drop off to sleep. My DS is responding well as long as he has his dummy. But when it falls out he generally wakes up and cries for it - means quite a few trips upstairs but is worth it because he no longer needs my boob to fall asleep on! Another sign he's tired is that he turns his head away from everything and nuzzles in to my shoulder, like he's trying to shut out the world. Not sure if any of that will help but I wanted to pass it on just in case! Mind you, one of my NCT friends found that her baby settled better at night with her DH - she though the baby might be smelling her milk and therefore unable to switch off?

Dream glad you had a better day yesterday, except for bath time. I agree with the others: is there any way you could bath the twins first with your DH and then he could bath your DD while you settle the boys? Also I bet your guilt was worse than your DT's disappointment at not getting the expected milk / cuddles. He may just have been crying from tiredness and was happy to drop off to sleep? You never know...

Too I'm so sorry to hear about your DH. I can understand what he meant about not wanting to take the ADs because they were muffling his grief over Thea (as well as muffling the feelings of depression) but hopefully now if he goes back on them it will help. Sounds like counselling would be good too if it's available. But how hard for you both, looking after a baby and dealing with that. :(

Oh, and Scream the Roman camp is on Wimbledon common but actually it's just a grassy spot which archaeologists claim was a camp, so not that exciting!

Jaggy really hope you get some effective medicine / cream for poor DS2. And Biscuits I'm also sorry about your poor little spotty one. Hope he doesn't get any more spots - sounds like he has more than enough already!