Feb 2010 - turning two and turning heads

[BigBadBear]

we've just put the blinds back up in case that was responsible for the 5:30 get up's. It's too soon as tell as the visit to my mums has thrown everything out. She's getting up at 6/6:30 but not getting to sleep until 8/9 so doesn't really count, especially as we just spend the mornind surviving until her nap.

I find it partly reassuring to in some regard look forward to parents etc. leaving, it means that you do well on your own in your system, you're doing alright kind of thing.

I know it's no joke IC, but still struggling not to get angry when i think about it, especially as he is being such an arse atm.

PA x

That was a lovely weekend under the sunshine. DS was able to use his tricycle and to run around (and fall).

Potty is still a hit and miss but he's got the idea.

PA hugs

PA so sorry about your brother and accompanying drama.

Mous Good news on the appointment. Hope you are reassured.

DH and I have been rowing too much - I blame lack of sleep. Really trying not to but he winds me up so much with leaving mess around and moaning about his lack of sleep when I let him sleep in the living room and do all the baby wakings in the night. I say something and if he doesn't like what I say he bellows at me. I feel like I can't say anything because if I do there's shouting and it upsets the kids. He even shouted at me whilst he was holding the baby. He says I use a nasty tone but at least I don't shout.

She slep 11-1 in basket 2-4 in my arms then she was wriggly from about 4am-6am. I can't let her cry even a bit or she wakes DS so have to have her in my bed. I know it will pass.

DS actually said "mummy and daddy no shout. Just talk" Made me cry. My parents used to wake me up shouting when dad came home drunk and it used to scare me so much and make me cry - I don't want my kids to have that.

Oh, Bc I'm sorry to hear you and DH are having a difficult patch. I imagine it's not so surprising, given the extra stresses of having a second child - but horrid to live through, even so. (I'm fully expecting attrition between me and DH after the arrival of DC2 - neatly coinciding with the start of his first full-time teaching job - which, we're led to believe, is usually the hardest in a teacher's career...).
Would he be amenable to a discussion about your various issues when you're both feeling calm?
Sending you a hug. It's no fun being sleep-deprived and trying to deal with a growly partner as well as two LOs..... x

Big hugs bc. You too PA and in fact Mous and BBB too whose troubles I would love to add a supportive voice to (but just am never at the laptop and hate posting on this phone). I'm having my own dramas too, mainly lack of sleep related. Oh to be Zen about it, as recommended by rainbow. Must try harder...

I'm sorry that sounds incredibly glib when some of you are having real difficulties. I will blame my addled brain, apologies.

Up and down here. Don't want to bore you with the details. I'm making like a Zen ostrich (if I put my head in the sand, it can't bother me) :o

Bless you all. I feel that I have the capacity to repay some of the sympathy, friendship and brownies that you have all bestowed on me so freely in the last couple of years as, at the moment - touching lots of wood-we are seeing a more settled patch here. BBB we would not be bored at all - and we are definitely on your side, as your internet friends, so feel free to 'speak' as and when you wish. (I find it hard as we - DH and I - now have mostly joint friends, which means there isn't reallly anyone to complain to if I'm fed up with him about anything). Sending you all brownies, red wine (or tea..) and lots of unmumsnetty hugs.

BC that sounds very familiar - we too have been told off by the DC for arguing in recent months. I recall vividly being off on maternity leave, watching the mess multiply before my eyes, not having time or energy to sort it and wishing that DH would 'see' the mess and then deal with it! I can also remember ,istening to my parents arguing before they divorced but I do know that the arguments DH and I have are nothing compared to those of my parents. I think you are very kind to do all the night shifts - DH always did half here and I still didn't really 'allow' him any grace when tired! I second the discussion about it when you are both calm.

IC the first year of teaching is definitely the hardest but I'm sure he'll do brilliantly. The timing of things, I believe, happens for a reason and you will make it through together as a team (with the occasional heated moment just to remind yourselves that you are both human).

PA Hoping that the sleep pattern sorts itself again soon. Both DS were woken at 6.50a.m this morning in order to do the mad Monday morning rush - why can't they lie in on my days off?!! (Did manage to make another £120 at the car boot sale though, meaning £200 profit in two weekends - hoping SB will be proud of me ).

We also enjoyed the sunshine (and the new play equipment, which can now be used without fear of the neighbour's actions - unless he chooses to burn it down (and I'm only half joking!) ) The boys had a pound each to spend when they visited the boot sale and have come home with several more bits of tat!! I got sunburnt on my face but the aftersun has sorted it enough for my annual performance management observation not to be too embarrassing today!

I had a sports massage on Saturday as I could feel a migraine brewing from my tight muscles. The man who did it is almost blind and it made for a very amusing hour as he did a great job, whilst regularly crashing into the bed!

The sad bit of the weekend here was the death of the man and his 3 year old son in the rowing baot tragedy which happened in the next village to us. The two surviving children are in the DC's two hospitals so I know just how difficult it will be for the mum to visit both children 50 miles apart, without her husband for support. It may be that I end up working with the little girl as she had a heart attack too, which doesn't sound good. Let's hope she makes a full recovery and does not need my help. I think because it is so close to us geographically, it has really affected me, and reminded DH and I just how lucky we are. He used to tease me for always saying I loved him and the boys before leaving for a day's work, but he's beginning to realise how fragile life can be, as I have for a long time, due to the nature of my work. The boys can be hard work, particularly at the moment, but I am really trying hard to savour the time that we have with them because I know they'll be 6 foot tall and leaving home before I know it .

On a lighter note, are we still on for a get together on the Wednesday of half term - the 6th June - somewhere in Oxfordshire?

And a final lighter note: DH was encouraging DS2 to eat his toast up this a.m so that they could go to nursery. DS2's response was, "No, you silly oik!" Where the bloody hell did he get that from?!! He's now screeching in his sleep afer a dream so will leave you all for tonight. Sending positive thoughts and empathy to those who need it (and a wave to the rest of you, obviously).

What a lovely post SOTU Love, love "you silly oik"!! Very, very sad to hear of the boating tragedy (I haven't heard about it because I don't watch the news or, any more, read the papers ). Something like that does serve as a reminder how lucky we are.

So I wanted to say... bc try to be kind to yourself. You're coping with an awful lot at the moment, and you are a saint if you let your DH sleep in the living room and take care of nights yourself. It will pass, and she will sleep, and you will feel sooooooo much better It is horrible to be snappy and arguing with your DH but it really is due to the lack of sleep. One thing I would strongly advise is that you need to NAP. Does DS ever go to nursery or other childcare (your mum?)? If so then NAP. And if not, your DH really MUST take the DCs off your hands for just a couple of hours at the weekends so that you can get some sleep. It is SO important, you have been through two pregnancies, feeding two DCs and losing all the sleep in that time. This is what I keep telling my DH - it's not just lack of sleep NOW, it's for the past 2 years and counting...!

(By the way the nap advice is from my own very nice Dr who gave it spontaneously on seeing what I wreck I look when taking DD2 in for her skin)

(Oh and don't you hate the "who's more tired" debate - when it's obvious that we are )

PA how it it going your way?

Mous great news that the paed not worried. Is there any news on your situation? You are doing amazingly well holding it together. That is a huge achievement in itself. I'd have had the sreaming wibblies by now.

BBB I echo SOTU in that you won't bore us if you'd like to come on here to vent. I really hope your DH realises what gems he has in you and the girls and hitches his socks all the way up to his vest. You sounds an amazing, capable, giving woman who does an awful lot.

Gah both girls are up (well really up) and I've got loads more to say, I keep reading while feeding DD2 at night but not posting as hate my phone blah blah blah. So very quickly - amazing well dones to all the potty training. DD1 quite happy to sit on the potty but won't wee. She now tells me when she is doing a wee. I'm sure it will come in time. I'm in no rush, other than our tumble dryer has just broken and it's not exactly nappy drying weather out there....

DD1 is halfway to being in a bed, the side is down from her cotbed, we just have to find the time to take the rest down and convert it

Aren't you all lovely? I don't know if I should come to the planned June meet-up now, just to preserve this ridiculous notion some of you seem to have that I am capable. When you see me running round and shouting after my girls, that illusion will be shattered :o Seriously though, is the meet-up still on? I can do any day that week as I am in Birmingham seeing my parents.

My reticence is probably making things appear worse than they are. DH has actually stepped up his efforts and is sustaining it He has moments of crapness, but generally things are much better. I think my choice words on how he was making himself utterly dispensable to me and the DDs, and how I was starting to question the role he plays in our lives when his influence is overwhelmingly negative rather than positive did the trick. Oh dear, that sounds rather cruel of me :( But he seems to be enjoying his role as engaged husband and father, so that's good :)

DD1 is being a little troublesome at the moment, but then she is five going on fifteen :o Her little lies and general flouncey attitude were really getting to me, but after reading several parenting books (I'm singlehandedly supporting my local library at the moment!), I decided that reward charts had worked in the past and would hopefully do the trick again. It feels as though it is already working and we only started at the weekend so fingers crossed. She's doing really well at school and in so many other ways is a real delight, I just have to remember that when she has a strop :)

DD2 is being an absolute joy. She has got a bit easier with the functional stuff that she was resisting a couple of weeks ago (dressing etc), and is such a character that she makes me laugh all the time. She is still a very cute little bundle and literally stops traffic (someone wound down their car window yesterday to aaah at her and DH :o). She has been in a bed for several months and still doesn't get out, despite switching her from her sleeping bag to a duvet a couple of months ago. However, she does like "reading" as she goes to bed each night, and we can hear her through the monitor chatting and singing to herself for a few minutes as she leafs through books (her bookcase is next to her bed) and we often find her face down on a book when we check on her. But it seems pretty harmless to me, so I'm not doing anything about it. She stays in bed until one of us or her sister go and get her in the morning, though she often wakes a little before 7am (and again, starts reading and singing). Toilet training is going quietly, as I only let her wear knickers when we're at home for a few hours. So far, she is doing well, with only a couple of accidents, but I would like to wait for the weather to warm up before stepping it up.

survival sorry about the family in your village. You are right in that these things can feel very close to home.

bc be kind to yourself and try and catch up on sleep when you can. As others have said, you are being an angel of goodness in letting your DH off nights, so make him give you some time off at the weekend.

IC hope you are still feeling well and the house continues to go through smoothly.

PA how are things with you?

mous the paed appointment sounds positive. How are things at home?

scones sorry you have been feeling down but glad you are feeling better now.

81% chocolate? Not sure that still counts as a cookie but I'll have one anyway if I may...

mmm yum

things going alright here. dbro seemed to have the kick up the backside that was needed to make him see the world around him. He is being open in his feelings but not up to leaving the house yet. He has also had the referral to therapy. In a way it has been good because everyone has stopped tip toeing around him and are being honest, direct and in a way treating him like a child (but in a way that he needs). He is only 19.

Now means I need to get back to my massive list of things to do.

Took DD to playgroup and the shops on her scooter today, I was actually quite impressed with her. Had the HV check yesterday which was reassuring on the diet front. She's getting a bit adventourous re jumping of steps etc. So at playgroup she jumped off one of those soft steps and before too long there was a queue or children doing it as well. They all spontaneously did it and followed slide etiquette.

Totally up for June, actually feel like it something I could do with.

Like scones I normally read when feeding and is hard to reply, then forgot what I thought about everyone's posts.

survival hope you're OK, you do get those really jarring events that resonate every so often.

scones may not have family but DH has decided he should do most of the night stuff and I get a lay-in to 7:30. I feed DS, he settles him down again. I do normally have him in bed for a few hours at some point. Once i get back to getting to sleep at a normal time I'll take over the first bit of night again.

survival I'm impressed! I've made around £200 selling stuff at the present and I have a few more things on ebay at the moment. It amazes me what people can buy sometimes - I've sold shoes (as new), coffee sets, toys...

PA glad that things are going better

bc hugs (and go to bed )

BBB glad to hear that your DH has reactedto your comments.

I tricked DS to eat rice tonight (not a favourite to his eyes). I put butter in it and told him it was pasta he wasn't sure so I explained to him that pasta were coming in all sorts of shapes and he ate nearly all his plate!

Survival what a lovely thing to say about us!
So sad about the family in the boating accident. I heard about it on the news. How dreadful.
On a happier note, the oik comment is priceless!

BBB good to hear things are better with your DH!
Please always come on and rant if you feel the need (same goes to everyone, obviously!). Don't feel ashamed of "me, me" posts - let's face it, the rest of us are nosy enough to want to know what's going on (well, speaking for myself anyway!)

Scones you're definitely sounding brighter than you have for a while, good stuff!
If all goes well with this house then yes, we should be fully ensconced by the time DC2 arrives. I bloody hope so!

PA good news if the crisis will now prove to be a turning point for your DB. FX.

I'd like to do the June meet-up, although I think the length of drive both ways might be a bit much for DD for one day - but I'm thinking I might do it alone if DH doesn't mind being in sole charge (he should be on half term, but it also depends on how much work he's got to do as well.)

DD's come down with something today. Started about lunchtime - she got very clingy just before nap time and I put it down to being overtired (she'd been at the gym and had woken up relatively early), but all she wanted to do after waking from her nap was be cuddled. Her temperature is up a bit and she feels a bit warm, but not ridiculously so. She's basically been tired and listless all afternoon and evening and didn't want to eat anything for supper. Not sure what it is - hopefully it'll pass quickly I gave her a dose of paracetamol and she zonked out straight away once in her cot. We shall see.

Love to SB, BG, Mous, Bc and anyone else lurking....

Scones BC no family but Dh would do the 1st half of the night from 9 till 12/1 am so I can sleep (he is up anyway). and I had 2 relatively good sleeper.

DD2 has been in a bed for a while (jan?) and she is not getting up ever only in the morning when she runs discreetly like an elephant to snuggle by my side gently headbutting me.

I am incredibly lucky that she does copy everything her big sister does, which makes most things easier to teach.

BBB I am also amazed that I can be seen as competent (but I do send that vibes in RL too < that my face 99% of the time though!)

PA glad to hear about your DB getting sorted.

IC hope she is fine today!

SOTU thanks for the help offer, I will probably contact you a bit later.
great post.

The hearing test was good! DD2 can hear properly so great news! she just has too decide when to talk then! I felt like a very bad mum not checking earlier though. Because I am half deaf it was compulsory for DD1 in the UK to be checked, I can't believe I didn't do it with DD2 before there was a problem [lazy bum emoticon].

Both DH and DD1 might have to have a op, so more stressing to do and a lot of planning to do. I am really looking like all the time for now.

OK I admit my house is a pit I have to go do some serious cleaning .

Mous what ops are needed in your family?
Glad your DD2's hearing is okay, even if it doesn't shed light on the delayed speech (but good that the paed is still optimistic that will sort itself out soon).

Well, DD woke in the night having been sick (not copiously, thankfully, her doll's clothes bore the brunt - but still needing a change of bedding etc.). Her temperature appeared to have gone down, but she still felt pretty hot so I gave her another shot of paracetamol and after that she got back to sleep.
Today it's as if nothing happened - temperature normal, energy levels great, appetite back with a vengeance, DD her usual chirpy self. Well, I've had false dawns before with illnesses, but this one's lasted well so far. FX it was just a fleeting thing and a bit of sleep was all she needed to get shot of it...

IC glad your DD is better.
Dh has thrombophlebitis, in his case, it is genetic so not a question of if but when. 1 leg will have to be soon but the other will have to be done anyway some day.
DD1 is still a if (most probably a when too) to have her adenoids (and probably her tonsils too) out. I don't want my baby to have GA. I am very about it all, all the very old docs say do it and the young ones say wait/may be not. Not sure if it is a generation thing or a new teaching/insights or experience!
anyway it will be in the hand of the health insurance...

mous great news about the hearing test but hopefully your DH and DD1 surgeries when/if they happen will go fine. I think the tonsils/androids surgery still happen but differently (they are over here anyway as they aren't removed but crushed).

IC may the throwing up was the issue and she cleared her system by doing so. fx she's out of it.

DS can now say 'pub' so I'm trying my best to say that 'daddy is working' and not 'daddy is at the pub' as I guess people may wonder why he's always at the pub!?

I've organised at work a baking challenge and most deparmtents are making cakes once a month to raise money for various charities.
Friday week is my department turn and we have a lot to look for as last month team raised £250!! So I've been baking like mad and so far I've got 3 cakes in the freezer (I'll do the icing the day before) and I'm still aiming to make 25 bread rolls (someone is making soup), biscuits (probably gingerbread), a cheesecake and whatever I can think off (knowing that I have a lemon and poppyseeds loaf, mocha sponge and carrot cake in the freezer). Others are doing pavlova, banana bread, cupcakes, coffee & walnut cake, Victoria sponge and lasagna! The pressure is on!!!! [scared emocotion]

Anybody here???

Yep, lurking on phone... Will post when I manage to reclaim my computer!

i found out today I have a job interview in a month but I just keep thinking 'fuck'

had a very tired DD today although she still made friends with a boy at the park. Meanwhile DS took blw to the next step by eating grass.

mous and BBB how you holding up in yourselves?

did we lose bemybaby?

What's behind your repsonse to the interview PA? Are you anxious about the interview, or is it the thought of returning to work and/or leaving DD and DS?

Glad your DD is better IC.

Very impressed at the momey being made by SB and survival!

mous all those ops sound pretty scary. You know we're all here for you, don't hide away from us! Glad the hearing test went well.

I'm OK thanks. Had a good day with DD2 on the toilet training front yesterday (nearly seven hours in knickers, with five wees and one poo and no accidents), and she finally has incisor number 8! She's been so slow to teethe, it's ridiculous, but at least she doesn't complain about it :o

BBB well done to your DD2 for the toilet training and the tooth.

PA at your reaction

DS nursery is surprising me. Last Friday I gave them 2 packets of pullups. On Monday they asked for more nappies and when told they had 2packets of pullups said they haven't realised they were is (his name is on it). So far no issues but for the last 2 days he's coming home in huggies nappies which aren't ours! I'm going to put my foot down tomorrow and asked what's the problem with the pullups.

on the + side he did a wee on the potty at wake up time so at rhe weekend I'm going to try to time how long between the wees to tell nursery to ask him if he needs a wee on time and to go on the potty. Fx it'll work.

both BBB but initially it was the thought of 'i don't want a job'. Not yet anyway. It has the first (and only until tonight) formal application and will be y first ever proper interview complete with a 1hr panel session apparently. Now my worry is that I put that I am a confident scientist when I'm not so will have to blag that. I will need shoes!

DD had soy yesterday so today had a nad nappy. I forgot how bad they could be so glad it has shown in the past weeks things have been ok. no way could we potty traing with nappies like that as a regular occurance.

bless her for both the toilet training and slow teething