July 2010: Tantrums R Us

[Woodlands]

Here you go! Sorry for crappy title. My one chance in the limelight and I can't think of anything good and I have to go and collect J from nursery right now...

tsc sounds like a great night

dylthan I'm extremely shy around people I don't know, I feel very awkward and find it hard to know what to say. I find it hard talking to mums of dc's frends sometimes because it can be people I have nothing in common with - we're just connected through our kids. I do have friends-with-kids who I would be friends with anyway but increasingly dd1 goes to birthday parties where I don't know the mum or dad at all beforehand - we went to a four hour one recently!

If I can't think of what to say I ask them questions about themselves or their kids - people love talking about themselves and especially their kids. So I'll just ask stuff like What school will you send X to, oh she does gymnastics does she, where's that, etc etc.

The online support groups may also have recommendations of good books to read?

mlic hope you get a better night's sleep tonight

That's made me think wss as we are all friends on here because of our July babies, do you (everyone can answer!) think we would be rl friends if we lived close together and met by some other chance?

As in do we have things in common to talk about etc, I'm not explaining it in the best way hope you know what im on about!

dylthan I'm very surprised that there's no support, it seems like such a big thing to tell someone and then just give them some books and let them work it out for themselves. At least now you can put a name to it and start finding out a bit more about what makes you tick with that different slant on it. It's good that you can come on here and post about stuff, none of us treat this like a purely baby thread and it's great to say stuff here that you could never say to anyone in rl. Good for you for going and hassling people to get a diagnosis, can't have been easy for you!

tsc glad you had fun last night! I was going to post and give you some morale-boosting nonsense but couldn't think of anything. On the plus side, everyone else there is older too and fwiw you don't seem remotely boring from what you write about (unless you're talking bollocks most of the time )

mlic I'm quite pleased that DH is far less likely to bring the dc downstairs than I am. We've both always been a "once upstairs they don't come downstairs til breakfast" since L was old enough to have bedtime.
How funny re W wanting to sit on the toilet! I'll be so, so, so if he potty trains anytime soon!

dh I think you're doing the right thing by not going into him, if he's resettling then he doesn't need anything. If he is up all night playing...well, at least you're sleeping!
I think we'd all be quite surprised at how different we are in rl, with fb you get a bit more of an idea but although I don't pretend to be anything on here, I'm a bit odd in rl. I'd love to meet you all and see what you're really like but I'd be so nervous seeing as you all know so much about me (but if you're anything like me you'll have forgotten it all apart from tsc and her swimming incident )

memphis some places are ridiculously reluctant to give allergy testing, we pushed and pushed for L with her eczema and never got it, despite trying 4 surgeries. A friend in a different part of the country asked once and got it straight away...so frustrating!

dh I often wonder about that, I think about it at different times like if any of you would have spoken to me when I had pnd at baby group when I was so pale and teary, or when im pissed up scaling a tree in town in 4 inch heels
I do wish we could all have a meet up! but then again when I met with my support group friends on a social level all bar myself and someone else got pissed and had a fallout which I found v strange!

chulita x post- the chemist I spoke to the other day said intolerance and alergy testing costs a large amount of money and thats why people dont do it in many areas, I had it as a child and it was like a heaf (sp?) test so cant understand why it costs so much, All I know is he cant last much longer like this, his trousers are falling off of him and his ribs are all sticking out, his skin tone is quite grey with red rings around his eyes most days. I had the worst case of eczema the dermatologist had ever seen when I was a baby and was mummyfied in a bandage suit for the first few years of my life, I had to live off of goat milk and 4 staple foods til I was 3, Then one day I just grew out of it and was fine again. He has shit at least every hour today.

If I'd seen you scaling a tree in 4 inch heels I'd have sniffed, hoiked my judgypants right up my arse and flounced off. If I'd seen you looking sad at baby group I'd have made you a cuppa and talked nonstop then felt like a complete tit.

That sounds awful re L, I didn't realise it was affecting his body so much (stupidly, of course it is...) especially cos he doesn't eat much lunch etc either does he? Fingers crossed you get something done, would you consider going private if it were possible? Could you go to your stepmum's surgery as an 'emergency'?

Those of you with children at nursery, what do you send them in with? L starts on Tuesday and I have no idea what to send her with.
Nursery started back on Thursday but I said I'd bring her in this Tuesday instead because it coincides with a group we go to anyway so I'll just be down the corridor in case. Should I make sure I drop her off at start time (8.30)? or nearer to the group time (10)?
I have no idea what I'm doing with this business...

chulita dont look at my facebook pictures before I had L, they arent very many that dont involve wine and me in trees, flowerbeds, scaling bus shelters etc, luckily motherhood has changed me!
L doesnt eat anything at lunch but I do give him a bottle as I can hear his tummy rumbling but he will not eat, He eats a good breakfast of ready brek or muesli, half a slice of seeded toast sometimes more and sometimes half a banana, he then gets to tea time and I would say only 2-3 teatimes he eats a good meal, sometimes only a mouthful, he used to eat more but recently not much at all. My step mums surgery is in our village so if the surgery I favour doesnt help I will move him to hers, its just the surgery I favour has a drop in every morning and I can book weeks in advance but her surgery is a nightmare to get into, and they wont book further than the next day, I know as her step daughter I can jump the queue but it pisses me off that she does that, its not fair on others plus I dont want her having access to my records I feel like im failing him so much, I also feel like because I had PND they think im an over reacter so arent taking me seriously.

Haha! If it's any consolation it went like this:

Him: (pointing to bum) Poo. Poo
Me: Do you want to go to the toilet?
Him: Yes (sets off towards the toilet)

Get there and he's started to poo in his nappy so I drop that into the toilet and sit him on. He does another poo on the toilet.

Me: Are you finished?
Him: Yes.

Lots of praise etc. etc.

Go into living room and get him a chocolate (reward). Open said chocolate and at that precise moment he drops another one onto the carpet

I'd ring the nursery and ask their advice. They all differ place to place so they'll be in the best position to advise timings etc.

Memphis I just had a sudden thought, could it possibly be coeliac disease? www.patient.co.uk/health/Coeliac-Disease.htm. It runs in my family so am on the alert for it myself. Might be worth asking next time you take him to see the GP. Really hope you get some help soon.

I'm taking J back to the GP tomorrow about his molluscum warts on his back - he has developed eczema round them and whenever his vest is off he scratches till he bleeds. Poor thing, it's so itchy. Our appointment is with the grumpy GP with sod all bedside manner. Oh well.

J is obsessed with cleaning his teeth at the moment. As soon as you open the bathroom door, to have a wee or whatever, he runs in, climbs onto his stool, reaches for his toothbrush and sticks it in his mouth. When I wash my hands he sticks the brush under the tap and brushes again. He must have done this ten times this weekend!

woodlands I never thought of that but to be honest as the old docs have fobbed me off so many times I hadnt thought about it much as a whole, I hope you get J sorted I didnt know he had them on his back, they must be so uncomfortable. L loves brushing his teeth too, he copies you and will brush all around for ages, I want to finish brushing but he carries on! my friends boy walks around with the toothpaste saying more more more!

chu u made me chuckle!
How long will you be leaving L? a whole day? I would think you should get there at the start but if your only leaving her a few hrs then im sure 10 would be fine, has she had any taster sessions yet?
dh i agree, as long as hes not crying leave well alone!! thats what we do!
tsc glad you had a good time, ur dp took the children to the museum, how did he get on, D would be all over the place, cake how did u manage with F and A on holiday, you said you did some walking, was A in the pushchair? it would be a nightmare with D he walks for a little while but then wants to not follow the path, pick up stuff, etc etc and it always ends up in tears and us having to cram him back into the pushchair. His behavour has been bad today, hes had about ten tantrums, they are quiet and relativly short lived but horrid non the less, he is just pushing those boundarys right now and im finding it horrid, i feel that its because hes insecure due to F so i dont want to upset him any further but i know we must remain consistent too. Its hard man.
F has regained his birth weight and put on a further 6oz!! so hes 7lb 5oz today, I have been discharged from the midwife and the HV is coming out tomorrow. He's still feeding little and often, which is a pita as its every 1.5-2 hrs so as you can imagine there not much sleep coming my way but hes so soooo yummy that i dont really mind............atm!!
dylthan can you join a community like this but for people with the same condition as yourself? it might really help talking to people who have been dealing with it for some time.

want to post more but baby on lap rather inhibits ability to post!
hope everyones had a nice weekend, anyone got anything good planned for this week?

in what way odd, chul?

god only knows what we'd all make of each other in RL. I think i come across on here pretty much as i actually am (totally poncetastic, a touch precious, and yes - rather a talker) so i don't think i'd be much of a surprise really

saying that, i suppose there are sides to us that just don't get an airing on here tho, not for any motive, just they don't come up in this environment. e.g. i've got a boringly sensible side, i'm the type that people come to for advice, help with work stuff, interview prep, personal references etc (thinking of a sample from the last month!) but i guess that wouldn't come across on here. likewise, i'm sure you all have sides which we've not seen.

we MUST all have a meet-up one day, mustn't we?

memph i just can't believe how crap your GPs are being when L is so affected i definitely think you need to go back and insist they do something. could dp go with you if you're worried they won't take you seriously?

mlic i just did a proper snort at w dropping one on the floor. it all sounded so impressive til then

vik A's a really good walker, she'll go for ages - she's miles better than F was at her age. F always walks now so we can go out without a buggy quite easily and just give her a shoulder carry when needed.

chul nurseries seem to vary in what they provide so best to check with them. eg ours provide everything (food, milk, nappies etc) so i just pack a change of clothes and pain-relief like calpol (actually i leave it there) for my two plus hats etc in the winter and suncream in the summer.

oh and brill news about F's weight and progress vik!

Yy to meet up! Manchester you say....I vote London!

memphis D has got v fussy with his food too and recently only eating a couple of mouthfuls at the most for dinner. He didn't eat any last night so gave him a banana just so he had something. He eats quite well at all other times though, sometimes I wonder if I'm giving him too much at snack time but he just moans constantly that he's hungry otherwise.

Last night was rubbish, he woke up twice before I went to bed, managed to dtd with dh before D woke up again and he wasn't in ss mood so in with us he came. Even being in with us doesn't make him sleep well though he still cries its just I dont have to get up to settle him.

Memph you've shamed me back into exercise. I dropped ds1 off at school this morning (walked, but it's only round the corner ), came straight home for the dogs, went on a 45 minute walk round the park and back, then did some wii fit and some Zumba. It's all different stuff, all broken up into different kinds of exercise but I left with the dogs at 8:45 and I've just sat down now so 2 hours! And it was an embarrassing 822 days since last putting wii fit on, and in 822 days I have only put on 1lb! RESULT! I've set a goal of leaving 12lbs in 2 months. Bring it on

ds2 did a wee on the toilet this morning. I honestly don't think it'll be long before I start toilet training properly. Hopefully with his toilet obsession I can skip the potty completely. He seems happy to sit on the big toilet even when there's no training seat on so that's good.

Ah mlisc I'm relieved he dropped one on the carpet (does that make me twisted? ) still reckon you'll be nappy free by the summer.
Seriously 822 days? That's about 3 years...shocker.

viks she's booked in all day but seeing as she's never been away from me I think I'll turn up at the start and see how she does. She's not had any settling in time cos they lost her paperwork so didn't realise she needed to be settled. I'm a bit pissed off cos they reckon on 3 weeks settling in and I'll be paying for the extra time even though she'll probably only be in for 30 mins or so out of the whole 6.5 hours she's got.
Anyway, glad F is gaining weight well :)

cake I swing from being really chatty/confident/outgoing to really shy/moody-looking/sleepy so I'm sure people don't know what to make of me. Some days I'll talk you into a coma, other days I'll just sit and zone out. I also have a slight stutter that shows up when I witter on, I don't care about it but the more confident I feel the more I stutter for some odd reason.

I vote Birmingham Sealife Centre for the meet-up, I need an excuse to go!

Woodlands any luck with the grumpy doc?

memphis my two will have a normal breakfast (a weetabix/one slice of toast/a few shreddies) and have very little lunch (2 crackers and a clementine size) then for tea they'll sometimes eat a decent amount, other times I'm forcing more weetabix down so they don't wake up hungry. They do snack a lot though, I've tried not letting them snack so they eat but it doesn't work - they'll just whinge all morning and then not eat lunch anyway!

Here's the thing: A commercial property has come up for rent around the corner from me. It is currently a sweet shop/sandwich shop/has a hot food counter. I love food. Have always fancied having a cafe, but this place isn't in an ideal place to be a true cafe (although it has a license). It is near to two secondary schools so could have a lot of school kids pass through. I have also toyed with a lunches/sandwich business before, but couldn't prepare food from home because of (amongst other things) the dogs.

Is it a pie in the sky idea (excuse the pun) that I could open a food establishment, with no experience? Am I mad?

I've got this job intervoew tomorrow but tbh I don't really want to go :(

ds2 has told me three times in a row he needed a poo tonight. The first two times I put him on the toilet and he disn't do anything. The third time he did a bloody poo!!!! And a full poo too, no 'little extras' before or after the toilet. Every time he goes to the toilet he asks for toilet paper, wipes his willy and puts it in the toilet, then asks to wash his hands I feel like I should go for toilet training him since he's so eager. I'm kind of worried what people will think as he's so young, but then I don't want to miss an opportunity and him lose interest iyswim

WWYD?

Well the GP agreed it looks like molluscum that's gone nasty - he said he would prescribe a steroid cream but putting it on a viral infection would make the virus spread. So basically he wasn't sure what to do! He's referred J to a dermatologist. Hope we get an appointment through soon (need to figure out the whole choose and book system).

MLISC the cafe sounds like a great idea but I would worry that it would be hard to get a business plan/funding etc fast enough to take on the lease. No harm in investigating - there are so many empty commercial properties on the market at the moment that even if this one goes, you could look at it in the future.

I think you should definitely go for toilet training now - he's obviously ready! Our generation were mostly trained at 18 months after all. If it doesn't work out you can always stop and try again later.