July 2010: Tantrums R Us

[Woodlands]

Here you go! Sorry for crappy title. My one chance in the limelight and I can't think of anything good and I have to go and collect J from nursery right now...

mlic I dont think that about your dh, we dont share money as dh still has debt from before we met, he pays the majority of the bills, I pay certain ones but as he would prefer me at home until we have finished having out children rather than stop start he wouldnt contribute to childcare so I can work, but by summer he will be hopefully out of debt and he is going to pay for playgroup place until it becomes free. can you get any sort of help? I didnt think working families could get help if you earnt well, my friend earns 18k a year ft and her dh earns 24k and she has been told by the benefits office she is going to get a minimum of £100 a week off of childcare paid? she said everyone is now entitled to help, two of her workmates get 70% of childcare paid.
I wouldnt go into a job I didnt think I could climb a ladder and make a careerI.

Another funeral directors is opening in another town closer to our new home and need staff, this is a career I really want to be in but I feel shot down after hearing nothing from last place (although job is still being advertised) its flexible at this one too.But im not wasting my time.

Just picked up dad from chemo unit, was awful in there, he said there was a 20 yo woman, no hair and no breast in there crying as she was scared of needles, it has really shook him up, poor woman

Hooray for the link! I've found you again!! For now...

DH - My sodding period came on new years eve. I'm still on so I have a hot choccie and a blanket on the sofa too.

I was going to say the kids were both awful today, but having posted the sentence above maybe I'm just hormonal... No! E actually bit me repeatedly today. I don't think it's just hormones.

We went to get those stupid bounty photos done (don't know why I bother) and they had crammed four families into a room half the size of my living room and everyone elses kids were strapped into buggies, which not only took up 90% of the floor space, but restrained their kids so that they looked like angels and highlighted the fact that mine were behaving monstrously.

W kept putting his hands over his ears and squeezing his eyes shut because the lights were too bright and people kept touching him and he was 'trying not to scream' apparently. E screamed, bit and kicked me until I put her down then promptly toddled over to a very expensive light and started rocking it. Every time I picked her up she bit me/ripped my earrings out and every time I put her down she tried to smash something.

I eventually walked out ignoring the ladies attempt to give me an appointment card because I couldn't hear her over the howling from both children.

They howled all the way home and for 2 hours after (well E did - W hid in his bedroom because 'I don't like her noise') The DH came home and everyone was happy and smiley again.

I think the title of this thread is very apt Woodlands

Your poor dad memph :( And that poor woman :(

I say you've got nothing to lose by applying, personally.

chulita sorry you are having such a hard time of it at the moment. I have only had tonsilitis once and it was horrendous so I really feel for your little ones :(

mlisc I would second looking into the governments childcare voucher scheme before you make a descion about whether or not to accept the job it might make a difference.

Memphis how was your dad feeling after his chemo? How long is this cycle of treatment? I think if you really want the job you should apply for it. :)

gracie poor you that sounds like a nightmare of a trip. :(

Well I had my family meeting with the psychiatrist at the beginning of the week and he has diagnosed me with aspergers. I thought there would be more help and support available when I received the diagnoses but there is nothing :( he has given me two books to read and said he will see me again in three months and that is it :(

Hi,
Thanks mylife for posting thread link on fb!! Id have turned inside out if i couldnt find you all!
Just quickly, dylthan Bad times with you and i can sympathise some what, D is very tantruming atm, whats this crap about terrible two's, sounds like its starting now with all of us.
mylife the int will be good practice even if u decide not to go for the job in the end. Shit about the child care situation though.
chu poor babies, how shit for them and how utterly shit for u!! Im getting more sleep than that and i have new boy to look after!
Very apt question re feeding trudy it would be soooo much easier if D could feed himself, hes kind of half there now, he will use a spoon for a while then gets board and uses his hands, then gets board and pushes it off the tray or sits and looks at me and drops it on the floor deliberatly! today he hit F in the face twice, not good......and he's reverted to stealing the muslins again, even though we have brought him his own which are a different colour and have a star on the corner. tut. F was crying and wanting to be fed at D's tea time today, if DH wasnt here that would have been tricky, trudy what do u do?
MUST GO TO BED!!!!!!!!!

dylthan he felt ok, looked pale, he weighed 2kg more after treatment from the amount of fluids and chemo they pumped in him, think he was pale due to sights he seem, but he seemed more upbeat than he has been hopefully he is realising he is in a good position, some are there to just prolong their lives he is there with a good prognosis of a cure. he is having 3 full days of treatment then 3 weeks off then this times 3, brings it all back about my Tris though!

Re the job im not going for it, I wouldnt cope with failing again.

Bookmarking

I'm pleased you have a diaganosis Dylth but sorry about your aftercare :( That doesn't sound good. Hope you are happier after reading the books.

Gracie, that sounds like my days every day If one isn't having a dickie fit, the other is. They play tag team. On the rare occassions they're not in a mood about nothing something, they are 'play' fighting. Which generally ends up getting too rough and one of them gets hurt, resulting in yet more tears. Oh and this is at 18 months (tomorrow) and 3...God help me as they get older

I'm here! Belatedly. I lost you for a bit there! Thanks for the new thread, Woodlands. Though it would be better if it rhymed...

Sorry I've not been posting much, things are a bit manic here at present! With rushing around over Christmas/New Year, then emptying my kitchen ready for removal and replacement (they deliver the parts tomorrow and start work on Monday - eep!), attending three job interviews in three days (last one is this afternoon) and generally trying to keep life together while working full time too-!!

M at least is fine and dandy at the moment. :) She's suddenly had a rush of vocabulary over Christmas and has gone from no words at all to lots! We now have "More", "Cat", "Dada", "Mama", "Gone", "Bauble" (Gor-gal), "Ball", "Choo-choo", "Car", "Dog", "Grandma" (Grah-ma) and probably a few others I forget.

It's wonderful to suddenly realise we can start properly understanding one another. Though DH keeps giving me looks when M says and gestures something incomprehensible, I somehow comprehend anyway and give her what she wanted. Even I have no idea how I understand!

And here's the bit where I get lynched... No tantrums here yet, and yesterday we had a couple of minor wakeups overnight and discovered the reason to be she has two molars breaking through. With the application of Anbesol she went straight back to sleep, and last night she slept through 7pm-7:30am. [runs]

Sorry to hear about your Dad, Memphis. :( And the other woman too.

I think you should go for the job though, but keep in mind the thought that unless it's perfect, you don't want it! Means you can go in interviewing them as much as they're interviewing you. If the other place didn't get back to you at all, that just shows they're horribly disorganised rather than you weren't a strong candidate, and would you really want to work for someone like that?

MLISC, does the job you're looking at do Childcare vouchers? Because that might help ease the costs a little bit. Both DH and I get them, so it means a chunk of M's nursery costs are at least tax free.

Quite of your nursery's costs though... It costs us £750pm for M, twice as much as our mortgage!! Two would cost £1400pm with a second child discount, which is more than either DH or I bring home. Hense both DH and I applying for better paid jobs, in the hope that someday M can have a sibling.

Where's Cake gone? Has anyone seen her??

gracie god that sounds like a stressful time! It's typical they're all lovely when their dads come home, D is exactly the same and I say he's been awful today and dh is like ah no he's fine

I just rang the dentist to make an app for dh and I, I only registered with them a couple of months ago and one of the main reasons I chose them is because they're open on sat mornings as listed on the nhs website.
So I called and said can I make an app for sat morn, response was 'no, we're not open then' 'but it says on the website you are' 'well it's wrong' okkk stressy cow so I've had to make an app for 6:15 and that's not til 2nd feb.

how annoying dh! I need to find a new dentist, my old one is in central London which was handy for work but not so good with a toddler. Plus my lovely dentist left and I don't like the new one. Plus I'm registered as a private patient (despite going on the NHS waiting list when I joined the practice four years ago), though they treated me as an NHS patient during my maternity exemption, so I want to find a local NHS dentist.

Back to work this morning, as soon as my mum arrives to look after J!

BTW I had the old thread open when it hit 1000 posts so I thought I'd be able to add a new post - so I started the new thread and then went back to add the link to the old thread, but it wouldn't let me. Sorry about that!

DH we just registered with a dentist - first time in four years

First appointment. Is in a week or so, hope I don't need any fillings!

DH needs a whole tooth removed (IMEO) because he cracked it playing rugby and half of it has fallen off, hence me finally getting around to registering us!

dylthan sorry you feel like the aftercare is crappy. If it helps, DS was diagnosed with ASD in feb, we had months of no contact (although we were given a ton of literature to read) and then suddenly in August they started arranging loads of session s with therapists and support groups.
Too many.
Turns out they like to give you time to digest the diagnosis and literature before they bombard you with appointments. Maybe that's what's going on?
If you're not happy, you should tell them and ask for more help.

woods doesnt matter looks like we are mostly all here, no cake though, where are you cake!!
dh thats poo about the dentist but very weird that you should mention it, i need to go for a check up and was thinking of taking D, has anyone else taken their lo's to the dentist?
memphis im sorry i meant to say in my last post, hope ur Dad manages to stay upbeat. It must be horrid, and that poor woman, it must have bothered him.
spireal Thats great about M sleeping and no tantrums but dont rub it in too much we may have to put you in the corner!! However D (whispers in a very quiet voice) has slept through 4 nights in a row..............4 nights in a row.........Shhhhhhhhhh.........
Did anyone watch one born every minuite last night?? OMG that young couple, i had a dream about her last night, poor poor girl talk about babies having babies, my god if we have struggled i cant imagine how someone like that would cope!
F has sticky eyes but apart from that he's still very placid, he's a bit bothered in the evenings, im sooooo hoping he doesnt develop colic, can you all remember what you did with your new born in the evenings?? I didnt really have the opportunity to start a routine with D for three months because at two and a half weeks he developed colic and cried from 7 till 10ish! we have brought another monitor so when thats delivered i think i will start putting him in his room from 7, we have a breathing monitor and i will sleep in there over night for a few more weeks untill a routine is developing.

I haven't been to the dentist in years, even when I was preg with D and it would have been free, stupid really. Now I've got to pay for it and I bet I need work done my teeth are awful they just can't put up a fight with the amount of sweets I eat!

vik in the v early days I put D down in his Moses basket once he'd had his mammoth eve feed. When he got a bit bigger I'd have him feeding on and off all eve til I went to bed. It was only when he was about 11 months I started putting him to bed at a decent hour because I finally wanted my eves back.

X post tsc I thought you had stopped feeding when you were settling him in his own room. I'm guessing he's still asking for it (putting it lightly!) I think a firm NO! And wear clothes he can't shove his hands down he'll soon get the message.

Right you've inspired me dh - have just called up a local dentist who was recommended on the local NCT email list, they are accepting NHS patients so have just registered us all and made us all an appointment for the 24th. The receptionist seemed lovely which is a good sign!

vik The dentist recommended I take B with me next time I have a check up so that she gets an idea of what goes on although she still only has her 4 front teeth I think another might be thinking about coming through at the moment but we will see.

I need two root canals doing they started of as fillings but have got worse. Luckily they started messing around with these teeth while my maternity exemption was still valid so they count it as a continuation and it is still free. Which is great because the amount of work they are doing would probably of bankrupt us otherwise.

gracie I think that there is honestly just no support I asked about a support group and was told the nearest one is Edinburgh which is bloody miles away. He did say it is a very good one though he also said that he tried setting up a support group here but the hospital would not let him because he only had two patients and he couldn't guarantee that one would not exploit the other I just wish the diagnosis had come earlier then I might of got some help. :(

The boys and I go to the dentist every 6 months without fail

woodlands glad you had better luck than me! Tbf though when I registered us it was a different woman and she sounded much nicer, I obv got someone who was in a bad mood earlier. I sound a lot younger on the phone than I am I bet she thought I was some scummy young mum.

Was having a general think about this this morning actually, how sometimes i feel like people older than me usually 30s and older like shopkeepers, bank workers etc see me as a teenage single mum when I am neither. I try to hold my left hand up whilst holding my purse or something so they see the ring! Hate people pre judging. Not just me but anyone, it leads to some real nastiness.

So anyway, D will be coming with us to the dentist for the first time I doubt he'll let him anywhere near his mouth.

We go to the dentist every 6 months without fail and I need something done everytime (illness effects my teeth) Lyndon had his first onea few months ago and climbed on the chair and opened his mouth and picked up the drill he was very good, its a shame he only had 4 teeth, I am really concerned about how gappy his teeth are, but my dentist friend has said its better as they are less likely to get over crowding with the next set shame he looks like elton john in the mean time
ds my dentist I could see tomorrow if I wanted they are excellent, even somehow blagging a free porcerlain veneer im getting in time for my birthday, I hate judgey people due to age, my sister was a young mum and got stitched up after birth with no gas and air as she was refused it, the midwife actually said you got youself in this mess so you can suffer, then told her to stop wincing and act like the adult she thinks she is this was 20 years ago but she had her man there, my mum made a complaint but nothing was said, it wouldnt be allowed nowadays!
mlic I think all classes have on of those children, there is a boy in my little sisters class who is bullying a girl for being Scottish and is bullying my sis for having a wrinkly old dad, I want to go and smack his arse, I dread to think what I would be like when I see it towards L, my friends toddler hit him the other week, he looked so shocked then held the boys hands down and shook his head! I was shocked he didnt thump him back!

memphis that's awful behaviour! I'm glad to say i was treated well in hospital, it's just everywhere else!

D didn't eat any dinner, I don't know whether to try to get him to eat a banana or just hope for the best. What does everyone else do if lo doesn't eat dinner?

tsc that made me cringe at the thought of it, its awful how young women were treated :(
dh would he eat a yoghurt? we have the hipp/cow and gate type fruit pots that are the smooth fruity rice pudding for the days L will not eat at least I know its fruit and rice pudding its filled a hole.

I would like some advice, I know im like a record, L pooping.... yesterday was a bad bad day, today was horrific for my mum, he pooped all over her floor and my mum as it was coming out everytime she changed him she didnt have time to get another nappy on, his bum never gets rashy (except when he has pampers on) and it is big open sores, and beetroot red spots all over, his balls and bumhole are weeping :( so im taking him to an emergency walk in clinic tomorrow, im sick of our doctor fobbing me off, ive been calling for results of his samples for days and it is constantly engaged, Im sure they came back clear as they would have called me but am I in my right to demand help? weather it be intolerance tests, my usual doc says they wont test intolerance before 2, so should I demand one at the walk in? or at least demand the info to go about it private? he actually sobs ow ow OWWWWW! when I change him the sight of his backside has had me in tears tonight :( sorry for confused me me my life post :(