July 2010: Tantrums R Us

[Woodlands]

Here you go! Sorry for crappy title. My one chance in the limelight and I can't think of anything good and I have to go and collect J from nursery right now...

Just coming back from a day working in the city. Splitting headache from too much thinking, I think! :D

Right what I mean about bills is balancing/checking bank accounts and credit cards etc really. Eg invoicing dh for some of the big costs like holidays which I've paid for and also I tend to buy all food and household stuff on my credit card and then pay off at the end of the month. Unfortunately I used the same card to buy my own stuff on amazon/paypal etc so I have 6 fricking statement to go thru splitting the costs. I've now got another card so hoping that will reduce the work involved in future when I've finally got things straight.

Am I the only one who manages finances in such a time-consumimg way then?

chul yay to the dishie!! What make is it then?

mlic yeah, I know they're in the same year. I can totes understand the reason for putting them in 2.5 days a week til school but can't understand full-time.

Re: our gang starting school so young. Tbh, I'm not worried about it from an academic perspective at all, like chul I just don't want to 'lose' A so soon. Would much prefer to have her at home the extra year like I have with F. chul schools vary - some only have a sept intake, I think that's usual where we live. But like you say, at least they'll be the school year after their older siblings.

How's your dad doing memph ?

Can I have a bitch please? Am feeling so confused, sad and yes - angry with a close friend. You know the couple friends who have recently split up - it's her. Anyway, she's just been away for ten days to another country on business, leaving her 3yo dd with her ex-dh. Seemed a long time to me but we're all different. Anyway, just found out (from the ex-dh) that she was back on tues but had her mother collect her dd on monday and she's not bringing her back til tonight?! So she's been away ten days and then not seen her dd for another 2 after that!

And she's not even taking her day off this week to spend time with her (she technically works 4 days a wk but usually works 5).

Am gutted for her dd :(

Yes but your earlier post said

'she said - but they start school nursery full-time this sept'

The point of my post was, no they don't, you won't find any school taking a 3yo full time at nursery. So if she's talking about full time childcare she's talking school ams and someone/somewhere else on the pms I assume? In which case that's just her choice I guess.

I can't afford to do lots of lovely, exciting things with my DSs, so frankly I think it is better for them to be at school than stuck in the house painting, playing etc with just me and the occassional free sure start group to break it up. So the thought of them being 'stuck' with me for a year longer than they need to would make me more sad. It's only 3 bloomin hours a day at nursery after all.

I'm looking forward to getting D shipped off to school I'll have a 2 year old too so will be nice to spend quality time with just them like I have with D for 2 years.

Im all dressed up ready to go out, looking forward to it. Feels nice to put the glad rags on now and again.

Last 2 teeth have the tips through - the lower canines. Well, not really the last two as those back 4 that come through later are the last ones. I haven't noticed her being particularly grumpy...but then she's grumpy about something most days anyway...

Chulita Yay! Dishwasher! Yay! is all I will say. And about bloody time!

cake no I don't find it really complicated/time consuming with credit cards etc...everything just comes out of the joint account. We have a savings account too so money for holidays etc comes out of that.

I've actually just got rid of my credit card - I only ever used it for online purchases and I figured one of those visa debit cards was safer so I have one of those instead. I never bought everyday things on my c/card - to hard to keep a track of what was being spent and too easy to run up a big bill.

I'm finding it quite confusing reading about when dcs in the UK start school, so the Sept after they are 4 all your July babies will start full time school (9-3)? So Sept 2014 they will be at "proper" school? G will start July 2015 (on her 5th birthday).

Yes WSS, E turns 4 in the December and will move up to Reception in the following September (9-3) W will turn 4 in the July and start Reception in the September, but he will have already gone to nursery at the same school (in the room next door!) so I have absolutely no worries that he won't be 'ready'

W has only just got his 11th tooth :( 5 more to go...

cakes you invoice DH? I take his card on payday and spend what I need to! He pays rent, council tax, tv licence and water, he also has loan and credit cards, I pay gas, electric, my cc, sky/phone/net and none of these send me bills so I have no paperwork, I dont open my bank statements I just shread them, I dont have overdraft and I know whats in there, the only thing I get on card is internet stuff, I draw all the money I spend from a machine so I know where I am and the tories cant see where I spend my money
Thanks for asking about my dad, I dont really know whats going on he has a 40 degree temp they dont know where infection is coming from, he is so ill he doesnt want visitors, was suppost to be out tonight but in til next week now.

A bit of advice needed, a customer came today and left a file, on the front it had a visa application, so I knew it was v v important, ran around looking for her, at the end of the day I looked through docs, I feel awful for this, but felt I needed to contact her, it had visa for business trip for her and her dh, BOTH of their passports, Both of their birth certs and their marriage cert, letter heading from the company they work in... I rang the number on it, it was a house number, she lives in essex so not near home, I went to the passport and immigration office over the road thinking she must have an app their, they had no record of her going there, I left a message saying if she contacts me I will send it to her recorded delivery and not to worry its all safe, passport office said to hand it in to them or police, and that if unclaimed after 6 months passports will be shreadded! they wont make contact they have to wait for contact to be made, these people have a biiiig business trip coming up, and need this info, I feel terrible for her I would be bricking myself, so much damage could be done with these docs! did I do the right thing, I hope she gets in touch I have tried ringing her again!

congrats on the teeth wss

yy, that's right re school start. so the three 3yos on the thread start sept 2013, aged nearly 5yo and all our july babies start sept 2014, aged just 4yo. can not believe your A starts nearly a year later! hang on - how can she start after our 3yos?

no mlic she specifically said 'full-time school hours' (ie 9 til 3ish at school nursery not other childcare as she said her MIL would collect him at 3pm on the 2 days she works) which is why it led to such a confusing convo.

but yeah, i agree with you that it's not correct. i think she's got mixed up with it all (hardly surprising the whole thing is pretty confusing with the hours/days/funding/school start!)

btw - i wasn't saying it was wrong to do full-time hours. was just confused and also couldn't understand the preparing for school hours so far ahead!

what can a school would do that's exciting that you couldn't do it at home mlic?

i suppose i just come at it from the opposite viewpoint that really my two should be at home with me and i feel bad about them being elsewhere - even tho i know it's great for them to mix with other children. i'm kinda cool/resigned to the part-time nursery hours but 9-3ish from 4 seems like a lot more.

i love how differently we all think on this thread - makes for thought-provocation for sure.

No cake A doesn't start in July 2015, G does - when G is 5. A will start when she is 5, so that's November this year.

oh yeah wss, sorry!

sounds like you've done exactly the right thing memph perhaps hand it to the police if you can;t get hold of her by tomo?

I have got hold of her husband, I asked if she lived there and if she was in our area and he just said please say you have found a file? She had only just realised it was missing they were about to call the police,they are emigrating to Thailand in 3 weeks and without those docs the move would have been off! He was so grateful and has taken my number as he thinks his wife will want to personally thank me,I feel a little bit like a small time hero even if I did burn my pizza and have no other food in the house

It's a Miele cake, he read some reviews and decided they were the best.
That is sad for the dd, I couldn't go that long without seeing my two (but then I'm a bit of a wimp). Seems strange that even though she'd been away for 10 days she still chose to wait a bit longer before seeing her dd again.

S has got many teeth either mlisc although he's currently cracking through 3 'fangs' at a time which is making for a very sore bum.

Like wss we have a joint account so there's no invoicing or sorting stuff out. When we both worked it went into the same account and that just worked for us. We check the expenditures once a week-ish and tally up bills etc.

memphis hope your dad fights this off quickly, I know with cancer treatments it really knocks out your immune system and makes infections very common.
I think you did the right thing re that lady's stuff, I'd be cacking it if I lost all that info, can't believe she hasn't noticed yet!

L has tonsilitis again...can't believe it :( I'm going to have to try and get a doc's appt tomorrow for some antiB's and that explains why she was so fretful this morning. 5th time in 6 weeks...takes the piss!

memphis

Not 'more exciting' per se, just access to different things, introduction to (someone else's) structure, routine (I like structure and routine). I like how now we have a purpose to the morning, ie downstairs, breakfast, upstairs, dressed, teeth, then off to school. Then W and I will come home and collect the dogs and walk them. At 11.15 we go back and pick him up, then we have lunch and do whatever we want/need to do on an afternoon. Instead of the old days (especially in the winter) of 'hmmm it's raining, what shall we do. Erm, I'l just do xyz then decide' before I know it, it's late, we're all still in our pyjamas and we have no plans.

I am not remotely convinced by interested in homeschooling, so I like that he is now learning about things alongside his peers, thanks to his teacher and two teaching assistants (this term's theme is 'animals') I find that if I try to 'teach' E at home, he is too easily distracted by other things, W interferes (for want of a better word) and I get mad. Therefore nobody 'learns' anything. Take tonight for example - E was supposed to return his reading book yesterday (we have to read it together for up to a week then he draws a picture in his little book to show what he thinks the story is about - cue lots of scribbles ) but I didn't get round to it, so we read it for a final time tonight. W is trying to yank the book from me, turning the pages, generally being a nuisance. Then E starts his picture and W is not happy with his own pencil/paper, he wants Es pencil. So I'm trying to rush E whilst distracting W...it just isn't my idea of fun.

Horses for courses. I don't think 6 hours at school from 4yo is in any way worse than a full day in private nursery from 1yo, but we're all different and that's what makes the world go round

chulita I cant believe it took her 6 hours to notice! I actually said to her husband on the phone 'if it was me my insides would be falling out' and he was quite posh, but said I think hers did when she realised!

x post - well done for saving the day memph!

Chul I sympathise - I have been plagued by tonsilitis all my life. Poor L :(

Vik I posted that thing today, you should get it in the morning. Sorry it took me so long

Just marking my spot for tomo, I'm off to bed!

Had a realllyyy nice meal out last night but came home to an awake D who'd woken after an hour and wouldn't go back down.
Finally got him to sleep at just gone 10 and he woke several times in the night.

ds1 got in my bed at 1.30am

Sshhh don't tell anyone

mlic what happened to my bed is MY bed and not for the children?

L has finally cut on of his front teeth! and I think a back molar but he wont let me look in there to find out but he keeps holding his jaw and saying OWWW!

We aren't doing anything today, I may venture to buy some food as I haven't done a food shop in weeks apart from grabbing the odd thing and we literally have milk, some yoghurts and freezer food, nothing fresh at all!

My dad has now got to stay in iil next week so will visit him tomorrow, that lady messaged me thanking me for getting in touch about the documents, and L slept from 7 til half 7,then sat in out bed til 9!

crowns memph Hero of the Thread

come back tsc missing you!

glad you had a good night out dh. was an early one!

mlic we couldn't be more different in some ways i love routine but only if it's my own. i'm such a rebel, i can't bear to be dictated to re times i have to be somewhere/do something - i can;t tell you how much i'm dreading the school run/inset days/homework etc. it's a pain in the arse being like this actually as i'm constantly wanting to be late/not turn up to things, even work stuff. even going to sleep - i hate feeling like i SHOULD go to bed early these days so usually don't go to sleep til well after midnight even tho i regret it every single morning.

it's crap tbh, i wish i was more of a conformer like dh is. i have to be brilliant at work to make up for all the rebelliousness which also comes out in other ways - e.g. i verbally bitch slapped a senior manager in a meeting with The Guardian yday (he is and was being a pompous arse and not answering a question they'd asked).

also, i'm conceited enough to think i can look after/teach my children better at least as well as someone else (def than nursery but school too to an extent) so i don;t feel that as a reason to want to send them to school earlier iyswim?

chul i know it's not my business really re my friend's DD but it's really upset me as we're so close to her having been so much part of her life since birth. after posting about it yday, i then heard she's now not getting her back til this morning even tho her mum was back on tues!

the poor girl has been despatched all over the place lately (her parents 2 houses, grandparents, us, nursery) on top of dealing with the break-up and she'll be moving house in a couple of weeks.

my friend was obv trying to hide it from me as she was avoiding mentioning she didn't have her dd there in every text since tues.

i feel like i ought to say something to my friend when i see her as if i don't, no-one else will. her ex is livid about it all but isn't confrontational (and still loves her) so is unlikely to broach it.

i dunno. would rather not be involved (tis bloody awkward as i'm friends with them both) but feel that would be the lazy choice, iykwim?

I wouldn't get involved personally.

Memph I still believe that, but I'm really struggling to feel like a good patent at the moment. E's behaviour yesterday was awful. A friend came round with her two at 3pm ish and I was incredibly embarrassed of him. It made me very upset and when they left he got worse still. I ended up being 'shouty mam' which upset me even more and then he responded by screaming at me, so clearly the situation was just spiralling. I'm crying now thinking about it. So I felt in a way I had to make things better overnight and not push him out so to speak, so I let him get in.

I don't know what the fuck to do for the best atm to be honest

Sorry your dad's poorly memph. When does he get the results of his latest tests?

cakes must be hard as you are friends with both, In theory I wouldnt say anything but im a gobshite and my friends come to me knowing I will be honest, I cant hide disapointment in people so I tell them (in the nicest way) if you were to say something would it be better to pinpoint it onher DD, like you feel sad for DD having to go through so much with them split, her work etc and if it was you you would want to be around as much as possible to try and ease the blow to her? Its a hard one as you are friends with them both, if he still loves her is there a chance of them getting back together?
mlicIm sure he will settle down soon, he must be tired and adjusting to change of going to school. I have no advice as I havent got one that age :(

On subject of school, I think school is the best place for children as there is more structure, as they get older more structure appears in life, school, job, then job and fitting children in so to start it young is a good thing but I hate the idea of L going to school so young! I think they get to learn with kids of their age but primary school is more about learning structure and how to listen to their peers, but it is up to the parent to enrich the learning, too many people blame the schools for their kids leaving primary school with only basic skills, I have one friend who sits with her daughter foran hour after tea every night going through her book and then flash cards, but then I have another who thinks thats up to the school and not her.

We have 3 play groups here, one is based at the church so thats out, then there is one that is more about playing, getting messy in baked beans, mud and generally just crazy playing for 3 hours, they will not tell a child off, if they are naughty they tell them they are silly. The other had free play so they cango outside and play whenever they want to, they have lots of learning toys outside, and a veg patch where they grow seasonal things to learn about and then take home, they also bake, and they structure the learning, some love that their kids go to one and play and the others like the learning aspect of the other.

mlic itwas supposed to be yesterday but its at a different hospital so they wont tell himresults they are pushing today to get results, but they have halted treatment for the time being as he is poorly