November 2011 - early birds, just in time and late to the party, all welcome!!

[TwoJackRussellsandapumpkin]

Hi all,

just starting up a post natal thread for all the due in November peeps on the antenatal forum and anyone else who would like to join in too, hoping to see my arrival by the end of the week, so officially an early bird I hope :)

Abi has a dummy on two occasions - when she's hungry but not allowed a feed yet (we have strict feed times due to monitoring her diet with the milk intolerance) or going to sleep (it's recommended as a SIDS prevention, too).
I loathe thumb sucking as it's a hard habit to break and a few relatives had their teeth ruined by it - dummies can be removed at a certain age (I gave mine to Santa). Sucking for comfort is a natural instinct - as long as you're not replacing love and closeness with the dummy (what I call lazy parenting) it's good to give your nipples a rest...
Abi had good use of it when tummy ache meant she wanted to eat all the time rather than when she was hungry. Many hours were spent with dummy in mouth and episodes of Big Bang Theory counting down until the next feed.
She barely wants it other than that, and she spits it out after sleeping for about 5 minutes.

Voodoo I had spiced mead last night - only the tiniest of glasses and I nearly passed out. BFing or not, alcohol will have to wait!
Also - I hope you find another position - too bad about this one :(

Thanks Cali and Pam re the job.
Yeah Sophie is similar and sometimes needs the comfort but also spits it out after 5 mins too.
I may have another inch of wine tonight. I enjoyed what I did gave even with the guilt!

Chip DS duly kissed and cuddled! Big hug to you and your family.

Pam we reluctantly broke out the dummy with DS a couple of weeks ago. He isn't that fussed about having it but will take it and settle on occasion - he is a fickle one! We are FF though so don't know about it affecting latching etc.

Voodoo sorry to hear about the job, but I'm sure a similar position will come up again and you can use the experience and feedback from this to ace it next time :) (I know not getting your dream job sucks though - definitely know the feeling). Also my OH finds it really hard to get up in the night and pitch in with the 3am feeds, so feel your pain with that one!

I could totally do with a glass of wine this evening but I know it will conk me straight out! Also oddly craving a cigarette despite not smoking since before I fell pregnant.

Does anyone else feel like their identity has been totally destroyed since becoming a mummy? How do you get over that? (Think fitting into pre-preggers clothes might help lol)

Hope you are all enjoying your weekends and that your gorgeous LOs are doing well.

Thanks perish, not getting this job totally and utterly sucks :( worse cos I know I was second if you get what I mean.
I can't comment on the identity loss as this is my 3rd! However I do know what u mean. Also am back in pre preggers clothes, just to add to the hatred am about to get, some of them are too big now. However I did lose a lot of weight when pg in a futile attempt to be allowed in the MLU. Also I had killer heartburn and couldn't eat v much.
I think u do get a sense of u back, just the new lo and all the changes u have gone through in pg and now as a new mum take a bit of getting over or used to!
Sorry for long answer and half assed attempt at grammar and punctuation but I have a baby knocking out the z's on me!
Time for some crappy telly and some fajita's am hoping OH is going to take pity on me and make

Hi all. Now I can finally graduate to this thread as our little girl born on 27th nov. She doesn't yet have a name, must decide this weekend poor little creature!! Just marking my place really and will now catch up on how you all are! X

Sorry about the job voodoo. Sucks.
And thanks chip. I know its been said but I too think of you often, and am reminded how precious my middle of the night battles are, as well as how strong we can be.
Major migraine night before last, nightmare night, then last night ds and dd had me up together from 3.45. Glad that didnt happen the night before!

Welcome welcome pandia

Pandia Hi! and congratulations on your DD!

Voodoo I think it's worse coming second in a job - happened to me in my current job. I came second then the first choice changed their mind and I got the job a few weeks later, but I am still very aware of the fact that I wasn't their first choice nearly 2 years later! I am sure I'll feel like my old self when I finally get 10 minutes to put some make up on as well. I was really lucky when PG, didn't suffer from heartburn or any of the nasties that you hear about! Hope you got your fajitas!

Today I am back in my tartan pleated skirt and size 14 top - achievement unlocked!
Also, DP and I managed to get some horizontal tango time while Abi was having a nap - within earshot, of course! A week ago I would have said I'd never be interested in that ever again, but I watched Sharpe last night and there's nothing like a bit of Sean Bean in historical costume to get your, erm, juices flowing... Poor DP didn't know what had hit him.

I must say though, I thought we'd joined the colic club last night - the formula change and increased food intake meant she's been horribly constipated for a week, and it reached it's peak last night before the lactulose kicked in, she was screaming and straining with her legs up and fists clenched - the only thing that helped was 5S and lights off.
Then this morning we had a weeks worth of poop come out in one go -the look of relief on all our faces was unbeatable.

cali we went through the constipation phase too, it's so horrible to watch isn't it? Congrats on fitting back into your skirt and top, I can't wait to get back into my pre-preggers jeans... although the elasticated waist on my maternity ones may come in useful at Christmas! Funny how all of a sudden "relations" with OH can resume (as we also discovered last night)!

Chip I have duly kissed and cuddled one little boy on your instructions.

I know there were at least a couple of ladies on our antenatal thread who suffered from anxiety problems. Can I ask how you are all doing now? I sunk into a terrible state of anxiety a few weeks after DDs birth but didn't seek help for almost four years as I was afraid. It all came out when I visited the Dr about something else, I got help and things really improved. Anyway, I now find myself with a five week old and I think I am sinking into the same state of mind. I lost all my baby weight within a few days (I promise, this isn't a stealth boast, its relevant!) and over the past few weeks have lost more, so I am now slimmer than pre-pregnancy. People have commented on it, and its freaking me out, I am in a state of terror that I am ill and don't realise it. I know its stupid, particularly as the same thing happened me when DD was born, I ended up slimmer than pre-pregnancy. But I have an absolute terror of ill health and am constantly afraid, which of course then leads me to have physical symptoms, aches, pains, strange sensations etc. Its crippling. And its not just me - I am also terrified of something happening to the children, am afraid I'll drop the baby, or let him slip under the water when I bath him. I have bad dreams - I dreamt the other night that I seriously injured my nephew, whom I love as if he is my own, and I dreamt recently that me DD fell into the sea and drowned, then woke crying. Add to all that, I am terrified of something happening to DH, and find myself sometimes waking him at night because I am convinced he isn't breathing. Its crippling and I can't face this all over again.

I'm so sorry for this long post which is all about me, but I'm in desperation, I've gone from being on top of the world to being a quivering wreck, all in the space of about a week.

Snoozle

Please please go to the doctors tomorrow morning, you sound like you need to talk to someone in RL about things. I didn't have any anxiety about things so I can't comment on that, but I do hope that you get some help and feel better soon.

Ladies, there must be something in the water, DH and I messed about this morning too, although am very worried that we would end up with another bun in the oven, so it didn't go very far....

Voodoo, sorry to hear about the job, I too only got my job as the other candidate had worked there previously and had done such a poor job that they wanted to take on anyone else but them!

Welcome to all the newbies, hoping that everyone who has been having a hard time of it have had a better time this weekend and generally hope everyone has a good week, am visiting family for the first half of this week, so first night at my MIL's, hoping that J behaves himself and isn't up all night, fingers crossed!

snoozle as just says please please go to see your doctor. You need some help or reassurance and that is the best place to start. You won't be admitting that you are nuts or anything like that, you will be taking care of yourself.

I am anxious about leaving dp with Lo in case he falls asleep with her on him. I nearly blew my top when it was his shift the other morning and he had her laid on his chest and started snoring! I could've shot him. He got up after I said "forget it I'll take her" this was after me being awake all night. I'm shitting a brick slightly nervous about taken her our in the car on my own and I am a very confident and a professional (part of job) driver. None of this sounds anything like how you are feeling. Please please seek help.

snoozle I went straight back to pre-pregnancy anti-dep doses, and still have terrible anxiety. So bad that it's really hard for me to bond with baby "just in case something happens" - it wasn't until last week that I could really allow my heart to start melting.

Go and see a doctor, and get a)help with the anxiety and b)an answer to the fears about your health re: weight.

Big hugs.

snoozle, I am one of the anxiety people! I've not been TOO bad yet, but partly thats because we're barely going out at all yet. But I've had my momments. I havent been to the dr partly because I know this is kind of normal for me, but I too am scared I will slip from this level which I dont seem to be able to improve on whatever I do, and the few levels below that I reached after DS was born. And partly that anxiety about the anxiety itself is the problem. I am trying to just say to myself "might not happen, and if it does, i might manage it better and not get so bad". The weight thing, I hear of women doing that, loosing a lot like that. Its worth getting checked I guess for thyroid function or something like that, but I also think it just is what some women do isnt it? Not I, I must say, though I am closer to pre pregnancy weight at this point than I was with DS. But still well over a stone away! But also, thinking about the anxiety, I think its normal to be very anxious about something happening to your babies. DD choked a bit about an hour ago and I have been unable to let anyone else hold her since then and cant envisage going to bed to sleep any time soon. I see everything as a sign something is wrong, and yes, feel constantly like if something ISNT wrong, it must surely be about to be. Its almost as if worrying about it might offer some protection. It doesnt. Obviously. What did you do before to cope with the anxiety? If you are scared of getting back to how you were, it implies you've improved since then - what did you do to make that improvement happen? What do you know about yourself and how you cope that you need to remind yourself about now? What do you think other people would say about how you coped with the anxiety before and got yourself back on your feet?
Hmm. I'm going to go back to worrying about DD now, she keeps doing this funny little shiver in her sleep. And I can hear DS stirring over the monitor.

Snoozle I haven't suffered with anxiety to the same level as you are at the moment, but I did have milder panics/anxieties when DS was just born and have suffered with depression in the past. The fact that you have the insight to acknowledge your feelings and want to do something about it is a massive positive and I would just re-iterate other advice and urge you to see your GP. The sooner you can get some kind of help/reassurance the sooner you can start enjoying your LO.

snoozle I don't know that much about anxiety but got to say that the hormone roller coaster plus sleep deprivation has also given me a bumpy landing from the initial post-birth high. I hope you can see someone and feel better soon.

voodoo so sorry about the job, coming second burns, it's horrible. I hope something works out from it.

Am giving the dummy occasionally but don't want Amaya to get too into it as remember the nightmare we went through before.

Went back to my work today for their family julhygge day, basically Christmas mulled wine, traditional biscuits etc plus Santa Claus. Dd1 loved it. Then went to a restaurant for gourmet burgers and deep fried mars bars! Tomorrow I start my healthy regime (until Xmas of course)...

Thank you for all your support - I posted here last night whilst going through a particularly big panic. I got to see my Dr today who was fantastic, very understanding, and am home with a prescription for antidepressants and a referral for CBT (although was warned that that could take a very long time to materialise). Hormones are a total bastard sometimes - I am convinced this is hormonal, as it has hit me so suddenly, it was like stepping off the edge of a cliff. And thats exactly how it happened to me after the birth of my daughter. But because I didn't feel weepy, low, down etc, it never occurred to me that it might be a postnatal depression type illness. I got through this last time with the help of antidepressants, and I hope they will work for me again this time. The upside is that I know this time exactly what is wrong, and I know to ask for help. When this happened to me five years ago I didn't even realise there was something wrong, it took my husband to convince me that my behaviour wasn't normal. Anyway, I feel a weight has been lifted just by asking for help, although it was hard to do, so I just need to make it through a few weeks until the tablets do their work.

Hope everyone else is ok, that babies are feeding ok, that mums are getting some sleep, and that one little lady has forgotten all about her burnt arm.

Thanks, as always, you lot have been a lifeline.

snoozle I'm glad your doctor has helped and I hope the medication helps. On the weight worry - don't worry, some women do just drop weight post birth. I was losing about a lb a day, probably mostly fluid and i'm in my pre-preg clothes but that has plateaued now.

The Boy has now grown out of all his newborn babygrows and vests. Even though they go to 4-5kg depending on brand and he is only 3.4kg all thelegs are too short. The 0-3m babygrows are a tad big on the leg and ridiculously too long on the arm! Where can I get long body baby clothes?

He has destroyed my left nipple - I can't seem to stop him nipple sucking. I'm off to the bf clinic tomorrow.

Other than that I'm finding it difficult to adapt to a slower pace of life - why should it take me ALL day to do a week's shopping. Ahhhhhh.

Pam Have the same problem - H&M are good for this - Scandinavian proportions!

Snoozle, I missed your post yesterday but am really pleased to see you have had some luck with your doctors. Here's hoping the cbt materialises more quickly than expected. Hormones really do strange stuff!
Pam Sophie is the same. She's too long for newborn stuff and only some 0-3 fits her! Baby gap clothes and Asda seem smaller IMO. Boots and sainsbo's massive!

I've got toothache and a headache. Had to resort to painkillers today. Tried to time it to when I knew she wasn't due a feed for a while. Still it was that or a headache thats been constant since Friday.
Hope all are well :)

Hello ladies,

I hope everyone has had a better day today. Mines been good overall. We went to the tongue tie clinic at Kings and Viggo had his snipped which was stressful coz they want them hungry and you have to wait around and feel guilty for the pain you're putting them thru etc. However, when they bought him out and put him on my breast with the perfect latch it was dreamy! A totally different experience. Despite my raw nipple, the pain was marginal! I wish we'd done this weeks ago. Then I might not have to have these special gel dressings for my right boob and mastitis in the left!

DP grabbed my boob in a sleepy error last night, I nearly punched him. There's no action in our room at the moment. Congrats and envy face at those who are indulging!

Think I too may be teetering on the brink of mastitis. Scarey after breast abscess with ds. Dd just not drainoing me well though. We've got tongue tie clinic tomorrow.
I dropped of a bit of a mood cliff today too, have a weep thoismorning. Tired, hormonal, on antibiotics for this uterine infection and not feeling brilliantly looked after at times.
Gonna eat some banan and custard.

Snoozle so glad you've been to the doc & got help & support - a hard step to take. A friend if mine had CBT for PND & it worked really well so fingers crossed your appt comes through quickly. And if not, hopefully you'll start feeling the benefit of the medication soon. I am a very anxious Mummy & spend a lot of time worrying about my LOs & it wouldn't take much for this level of anxiety to become something of a problem.

Smiling glad the tongue-tue us finally sorted, hopefully both breasts will soon recover.

Cali and well done for getting back into normal clothes - a long way off for me!

I am another whose LO favours right breast - can barely feel him when feeding that side but left is another story - frequently painful for latch & taking him on & off doesn't seem to result in much improvement. I alternate between underarm & across tummy positions so nipple is holding up ok-' - annoying though as can't work out how to correct it & no way of getting to bf support group til I'm able to drive. Will probably be at least another 10 days as doc has prescribed more antibiotics following another swab if the CS wound

Just really hope it isn't mastitis