Dec 08 Ladies - We're fat, we're thin, we're nearly 3 years in!!

[DeidreBarlow]

Sorry for the shocking title - couldn't think of anything else and our babies little people will be 3 in the next few months!

Marking my place

DS2 is in pants today! Mainly because we have run out of nappies . TT v slow here, partly cos I haven't knuckled down to it, partly cos he is v v stubborn and hates being put on the potty - perfectly ok with deciding to go himself but it makes for a lot of accidents. We'll see how we get on.

Deids: great news on the class move. I chuckled at your DD turning into the town crier - have just started the whole school gates thing and I can see all sorts of issues springing up! We're all surreptitiously checking each other and offspring out, rather funny.

On that subject, DS1 has asked to bring back a little friend for tea one day. First school playdate (eek!).

Spot: can't see the blog link. Sorry the hol
was a trial.

Afternoon school for us this week - complete pain in the arse. DS1 at school for 1, then collect again at 3 (bearing in mind it's a half hour walk). Roll on full time + school dinners next week!

Hey Ladies,

I've just had two days off work (could not go in as our offices are being relocated). We went to Brighton and finished emptying my mother's storage box (total nightmare as had to leave London after dropping DD1 at school and then get to Brighton, do lots of heavy lifting with DD2 "helping", and rush back to be at the school gates by 3.30pm). Anyway, it's all done. Quick survey question: if both your parents were dead and you found a box marked "Diaries" which contained volumes with each front page marked "Do not read", would you read them? I am sorely tempted as they were kept knowing I would inherit them. Hmmmm.

Back for catch-up after posting this. Have lost too many posts recently.

Right

Veg - where has your DH gone? Sorry your ankle is still playing up, after this amount of time I would definitely consider physio, you need to be fit as exercise brings you so much happiness. By the way I love the fact that Holland has a national holiday for the State Opening of Parliament. I am sure if the UK did that then parliament would be a bit more popular.

Spot - that "holiday" sounds a nightmare. Bless you for trying to be chipper about parts of it. Sorry B is sleeping so badly. Is it pain from his reflux? Is he very small. One of my colleagues has a 20 month old who is food phobic after terrible reflux and is therefore so teeny she is off the centiles, she still wakes from hunger but then is too scared to eat. What a horrid condition it is.

Trace - I totally know what you mean about feeling shocked when you meet someone and they don't fit the mental image you had built for them. I remember when we had our first London thread meet-up I was spun out by how different everyone looked compared to how they had looked in my head. It's funny feeling you know people you have never met given that normally a lot of your first impressions are based on appearance. I hope your head is better today.

Jolly - I cannot believe your DD2 is weaning already! I my mind she is still about 2 months old. Lucky you having such a great sleeper. Is she a milk monster? I think the two often go together.

Lady - I am glad you and DP had a good break. I meant to say earlier that I would not worry that your DD1 doesn't interact much with her peers. I think that is very normal at her age. DD2 will occassionally deign to play with my friend's kids when they come round but is mainly still adult focused. DD1 has always been happy playing on her own and her teachers praise it as a great skill. She has friends but often prefers her own imagination.

Deids - I am glad you got your DD moved. How was her first day in her new class. Like the others I am shocked they stream at 5 years old and more shocked that the formally assessed her in Reception. What did the assessment involve. My DD's school splits them into groups for phonics and those groups are based on reading level but that is just for 30 mms a day. I don't think they have ever been assessed for anything other than reading.

Got to post. Screen freezing.

Hello all,

Yes streaming at this age is shocking totally agree, in fact until the woman from the governors collared me it wasn't something I was aware of. Although everyone I have spoke with has stopped short of admitting to streaming but trying to 'group similar ability children which helps in group reading etc'. DD's school are big on group reading, and it seems DD was way ahead of everyone else in her class on this. This was coupled with the fact they had finally got around to collating the Early Years Foundation Stage Profiles (after classes were decided in June). It covers everything form writing/reading/emotional development/social awareness etc etc DD's mark was higher than I think they had anticipated and it seems she wasn't in the best class to 'fulfil her needs' (HT words). AAA I think every school does this assesment but it isn't usaully told to parents as they are only little and people may go overboard getting competitive. The average is supposed to be 78/117 which would indicate good progress by the end of Reception. DD scored 105. They also do something called a PIP Assesment that is marked externally.

What happened to just being little and having fun? At work back later.

AAA I have to say I would read the diaries, if I knew they were intended for me to see them. I guess the only thing is, what if you read something that changed your memory of them?Are you worried you might find something you don't like?

Funnily enough, T isn't small, he's actually pretty chunky considering he's existing solely on something that has never seen anything living. Weird, I keep wondering if he'll turn into some mutant adult given that his entire body chemistry is made up of synthetic chains. But maybe he'll become the ginger bionic man. Who knows?

Deids that is an amazing score for your DD, but totally agree on the point of being little being to play. It seems bonkers when other countries have children start school much later and achieve the same level of learning in the end.

Effie that is lovely about the school playdate, shows he's making friends really quickly. Good luck with the TT, you're a stronger woman than I.
Realise I forgot to link to blog,here it is. I've realised i have one lonely subscriber to it. Quel billy no mates.

AAA, I would read the diaries as I am so nosy but i would just be concerned about finding out half a story. Are there other family members / friends who could fill in the blanks? I think it would be incredibly unsettling to find out something (good or bad) but be unable to verify or clarify it. Hm, difficult one. I will ponder some more.

Lots more to say but Kirstie calls, Andrew is out and I have already been for a run. Can I do 3 nights in a row without a (small) drink ?> That makes me sounds very lush, but it has become a 2 glass a night habit.

Thanks for the new thread Deids, I love the title. And if you keep dropping the pounds like you are at the mo we'll need 'superslim' in the next title! I'm so pleased the classes problem is resolved and especially that DD is so happy with the change

Spot I must catch up with your blog, but I meant to say that the last entry I read was the one about you still not enjoying baking etc even though you feel you should now you're a Mum - it really struck a chord with me and opened my eyes to the fact that parenting should be a 2 way thing, with fun for both parties, and has made me think about tailoring some of my favourite activities so DD can join in with me, rather than me dancing to her tune all the time. I'm sorry your holiday wasn't everything that holidays should be - is sleep still as bad now you're back home?

Hurrah for a day without the girls Beans and a job well done - satisfying, even if it's not the most fun ever. And what a lovely idea to get some jewellery with your wedding dress cash, any ideas what yet?

Nolda have you found the other duck books? There's quite a few, our current fave is Fix-it Duck, and the author has written other books too. We also love anything by the author of the Gruffalo and are working our way through the library's collection and DD is about word perfect now. And talking of books, huge thanks to LadyT for your copy of Rosie's Babies - E LOVES it and had taken it to bed quite a few times for a cuddle

As the others have said, it was such a treat to see LadyT (and the Lord) and Trace on Saturday, and gorgeous P too. Trace you don't give her enough credit, I was very impressed with her behaviour, especially as she only had boring grown ups for company, no whinging or fussing, just happy to sort stuff out on the table. I hope your head is better today? On the appearances thing - LadyT described the London ladies to us and I was surprised to hear that AAA us tall, why you shouldn't be tall is a mystery to me, but for some reason that was a shocker!

LadyT you mentioned nursery being all play, my friend is a primary school teacher and rates it highly, although she prefers to call it 'learning by stealth' rather than it's proper title of 'learning through play'. She gave me some great examples of where learning is surreptitiously slotted in, although my small brain has forgotten them - if you'd like to know more I'll ask her again. She convinced me though

Trace hasn't the boss/meeting/childcare issue happened before? I got a sense of déjà vu as I read your post. If so, I think it is right that you ask for better notice - once is a mistake, more than that isn't fair

What amazing girls you have Jolly - sleeping through and amazing TT

And talking of pants, how did DS2 get on today Effie?

AAA well done on getting the storage units cleared. On the diaries, I'd be very tempted to read them too, and if your parents really didn't want them read they have destroyed them. But, what if they revealed something awful? Could you handle it? But on the flip side, they could well be the loveliest recollections and could reveal a wonderful picture. Really difficult decision to make

Mmm AAA that is a tricky one. I'd prob keep them and delay the decision until I was very sure. My mum gave me my late brother's diary as she said there were nice things written about me but I can't bring myself to read it. As a former diary keeper I'd be mortified if anyone read one of mine.

What is your gut instinct?

Jolly, if your DDs came across your diaries after your death would you still not want them to be read? If so have you chucked them? I can't be sure my mum meant me to read them but she knew she was dying and she kept the box. But then I suppose she had other things on her mind. I've no idea what to do. Both my parents were psychoanalysts into the Encounter Group movement in the 70s (when the diaries were written) so I suspect they'll be hugely introspective and not simply notes of what they had for lunch!

ZJ - I am indeed 5'11 . Do I want to know what else LadyT said when describing me? I fear not!

I've thrown them AAA. They were unearthed by my mum a few years ago and I threw them without reading them. I. Knew they'd be awful.

It is an odd one as your mum kept them and if she felt very strongly then maybe she'd have thrown them.

Hello ZJ, crossposted with you before. How are you feeling?

Play is hugely educational at this age Lady, not just for learning but for learning TO learn, and to enjoy that process. Play is also very important for helping kids express feelings and deal with everything they experience in the world.

On the streaming thing, I was quite good at sciences & English but was terrible at maths. It was made much worse by the fact that I just couldn't keep up with my class so got further behind and eventually developed a learning block to maths. We didn't have streaming and I went to a very small school, only one class each year. However, I wander if I could have been streamed into class that helped me comfortably deal with Maths then I might have eventually improved.

Effie, not a national holiday just the Hague, and only schools got the day off. I think otherwise no one would bother turning up to watch the royal family do their thing. They announced lots of budget cuts but in all the economy is doing quite well here. Though it will all be for nothing if Italy, and now possibly Belgium sinks.

TripleA I think my only concern would be if they contained something upsetting for you. Could you have DH read them. Could they be professional reflective diaries, containing client information, is that why they didn't want them read?

DB I am going to weigh myself tomorrow, not sure if I will have lost though. I really want to be able to comfortably wear a bikini back home, that's all I want, just to look passable in a kini.

I can't remember if I told you about our friends coming to stay last weekend. It was an old friend of DHs & his fiance. We hadn't met her before and she really rubbed me up the wrong way. She wouldn't listen to a word I had to say. She is in her early 30's and in PR. I don't know if I'm over sensitive, but I got the impression that she thought of me as some boring, old SAHM who was a bit dim, or at least couldn't have anything interesting to say. It didn't help that I felt old & fat, to her very slim youngness. DH agreed she seemed to think a lot of herself and found herself incredibly interesting. The funny thing was she kept going on about how fit she is but we all went for a ride and she couldn't keep up with me and I was cycling slowly so as to show them the local sites but she found us a bit fast, and I had both boys on my bike?!?

Oh dear DS1 is unsettled, better go, I think he's a bit out of sorts.

Bugger, meant to catch up tonight but busy again - get me. Just on to say will catch up tmrw I hope. Luuurvely lunch with the LadyT clan on Mon though. Such fun x

Good morning, forgot to come back on last night

AAA I wanted to say re: the diaries, I'm with vag in that I would be afraid it might be very upsetting. Then again I am a very nosy person, so I probably would read them. That is a great idea to get DH to have a look over them first. Also 5ft 11, you don't seem so tall when your writing

Vag Friday is my weekly weigh in too. Probably not lost this week though as due to me being stressed all last weekend about DD I drank my body weight in wine. However, I defo feel less lardy and am out for supper and drinks with some friends tomorrow night.

Effie Good luck on the TT and a hooray for DS1's first school play date!

Nolda: re rhyming books, Mr Magnolia by Quentin Blake is a big favourite here, as are all Dr Suess. The boys' top book at the mo is Dragon Stew - it is one of those books def aimed at boys, with lots of fighting and poo - but it's a good one for reading aloud.

Vag: hooray for whizzing off and showing a clean pair of heels to thin snotty woman. Maybe she's just a bit immature? Or not very bright (snerk).

AAA: I agree with the plan of getting DH to read them, if he's OK with that. Or just to glance through. You don't need to read them now, anyway, you could always make the decision later.

TT still in fits and starts here - two accidents and 3 hits in the morning, but then in pull-ups for school run . Monday will be pants day, promise, cos DS1 will be finally in full days.

Effie, pull ups were a godsend when DS1 was TT, everyone goes on about them extending TT, all I know is by the time we started using them we were 3 months into TT then when we used them occasionally he was dry a couple of weeks later.

I forgot to weigh before breakfast DB so I'll do it tomorrow too.

Effie I think she is a bit immature.

Oh & hi Rubes how much longer is your mum here.

hello hello hello another dashing in. Tried to post last night and ruddy MN ate it grrr.

Will try come back later. Packing and cleaning the house as DH and I are off to Berlin tonight as he is running another marathon on Sunday, nutter. Honestly I need a holiday to recover for the prep pf going away and having the in-laws come to take care of the monsters.

I've never been to Berlin, Jam, do report back. Isn't that where Wings of Desire was filmed? I'd love to visit that library.

Hi everyone, thanks for all the book suggestions. Lots of happy reading ahead. DS and I bought the AA Milne one yesterday in a two-stage trip to the bookshop. I had just set eyes on the book when DS said the words, "Mummy, wee wee!", so we had to leg it home again with two old ladies laughing at us (thanks, dears). Really fancy the dragon one too, Effie. Dragons and vikings, hurray!

Trace - I think that you were fully within your rights to be upset by your inconsiderate boss, silly woman. I hope your headache has gone now.

Jam - Hope the cleaning is now done. I always dread my MIL saying, "I could always come over to your house to babysit". Enjoy your trip.

Effie - Having previously held the view that TT was all or nothing and pull ups were the work of the devil, I have been completely converted due to necessity with DS. It's particularly tricky when you have an elder child that needs taking somewhere and you don't have the luxury of being incarcerted in your kitchen for the duration.

AAA - DH reading the diaries might be a good idea as long as you're not like me, as I would definitely read them if my DH told me not to .

Vag - you're thrashing the bright young thing on your bike did make me laugh.

Evening all! Lots of lovely chat, excellent...DP is away for the night and I had planned all sorts of things for this evening (ok, mainly reading and sending overdue emails to friends) but it's blipping ten already! And Nolda/Jam talking about tidying up for the MIL coming has reminded me that our sole localish babysitter (who is in her 50s and therefore a proper grown up) might be coming to our house on Saturday night instead of us taking the girls to her and it's a PIT and I will never have time to sort it before then...Have too many other things to do before I pop off to London tomorrow afternoon. Anyway, I am babbling about my typically waaaaayy over-committed-socially weekend.

I haven't been on cos DD1 had a D&V bug yest, but she was right as raindrops today.

Dear AAA, I think I would read a bit of the diaries and then decide. If they seemed to contain details that made uncomfortable reading, I would put them away. I found some diaries of DH's a couple of months ago, but they were only really in note form and were from when he was a teenager to when he first went up to Oxford. I had no real qualms about reading them as I didn't feel he would mind me reading the private notes of that time in his life. They really made me smile. However, I did remember finding a list of everyone he had ever slept with, about 18mths after he died. That made me feel uncomfortable (it also made me annoyed, especially when I saw a couple of the names, ha ha) but I couldn't hold anything against him. Never could! But with parents I think our relationships with them are more complex, because they form our very personalities. So - if you feel like you want to read them, maybe just try a skim first. I bet you are glad to clear the storage. I still need to sort mine. DH had so many things and I have tons of them and most of it means the world to me, but some of it weighs me down a bit but yet I don't feel I can get rid of it.

Trace, it's ok, I don't mind that I am also much shorter than you imagined It's very funny. For those who haven't met me, I am 5'6" I hope your head is better. And yes, your boss was rather thoughtless!

Thanks for the linky, Spot, was going to remind you.

Sybs, did you watch L,L,L last night? I particularly enjoyed it. I like the London ones, espesh when they are about bits of London that I know. But I am worried about Kirstie's brows, they have gone a bit weird this series. Phil is just lovely. WHO wouldn't want him as a husband?

ZJ, I am so pleased E liked Rosie's Babies - smashing. Yes, you are right about learning through play, as is Vag. I am keen for her to play with the other nippers. But I do feel there could be a LITTLE more structure. I think I am destined to be an annoyance to my DDs' future schools

And DB, in a similar vein, I don't really like the idea that kids are assessed and they don't normally tell the parents the results. Something a bit off about that. Maybe I am just a control freak....How much weight are you hoping to lose? I would be happy with a stone, thrilled with a stone and a half, and beyond ecstatic with two. Er....I think a stone is probably realistic. I have been a full three stones lighter than I am now before in my life, but I actually wouldn't want to be like that now as I looked emaciated.

That's super on the sleeping, JB. When is your mat leave over?

Lovely on the playdate, Effie. So sweet. Like you I have never been to Berlin - have a great time, Jam. By the way, ZJ and Trace, when I was trying to describe people (I didn't get far) I didn't mention that Jam is Scottish! And Rubes is another tall person!

Oh and Vag, people who think SAHMs are thick dullards are unfortunately all too common. But bum to them. Some of DP's colleagues in chambers (who know very little about me indeed) think I am some kind of - well, I don't know...Mum/Bimbo. A Mumbo. But I'd have their hides in a pub quiz any day. I am glad you left her trailing on the bike.

Nolda: www.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/d/1848951000/ref=mp_s_a_1?qid=1316728675&sr=8-1

Hope this works!

In bed now but just glancing over at my darling, pudgy, impossibly sweet-natured DD2. She is 1 next week and she still sleeps in a cot right next to me (could reach out and touch her through the bars). I love having her here but I suppose I can't have her here forever

Ooh, morning all! What a busy few days you've been having! Lady - I was at school with Phil's sister, who is just gorgeous. Sadly it was at the school I was horribly bullied at (B e n e n d e n), but have got to know her since as she is good friends with some of my mates from uni and she is just so nice. And she found out after I left why I left and she is still furious about it and apparently went and gave a couple of the beeeyatches a total earful. As she's so nice, I'm sure Phil is too.

AAA - re the diaries. Hmmm. A tricksome one. When I was little, I was completely in love with and in awe of, my middle sister. She used to write a diary and as a treat she let me read one entry in it. Typically, I picked the page that said "I don't think Beans is as thick as Mum and Dad think she is". Hmmm. Gave me real pause for thought. And I actually think it turned me into a bit of a defeatist. I'm lazy anyway, but this made me think I wasn't going to bother trying. And have since been a tremendous underachiever!!!

Aaaah, Lady - that's so sweet about looking at DD2. I couldn't bear to have DD2 in our bedroom. She's so rubbish at sleeping. It's bad enough having her across the landing! She is a dude, though. 15 months now. Can't believe it!

Went to a dinner party last night. Wow, I've lost so much social confidence, it's really sad. DH and I were talking about me getting a part-time job and I think it's time. Our nursery has offered DD2 2 days, but we only pay for one, which is amazing. And if we take that up, then I'll definitely get a job for a day or two a week. Now I just have to find one and I'm not sure how! THEN, though, we can get a cleaner, which would be amazing! I'd love it, then I wouldn't feel like I'm drowning in a sea of dust and non-hoovering! Plus would feel like me again, not just mum of DD1 and 2. It wouldn't be terribly exciting, but still, a job is a job is a job! Irritatingly, a friend of mine gave away a one/ half a day a week job at £30p/h that I could have done, just yesterday and I saw her in the evening. Bumholes!!!