Dec 08 Ladies - We're fat, we're thin, we're nearly 3 years in!!

[DeidreBarlow]

Sorry for the shocking title - couldn't think of anything else and our babies little people will be 3 in the next few months!

Hello Lady,

A combination of things have kept me away from MNet for a while but I had to come back to say I still think of you all and especially you (and Beans) at the moment.
I know you know the pain doesnt go away but it gets easier in time. I hope you have plenty of people who love you around you to give you support right now.
I do still look at FB so I have a bit of an idea of whats going on but I find it hard to keep up ! In the past few months my DH has given up his job and is a SAHD for the time being, so I am sole earner. Things are much easier but the house does seem to be in chaos a lot of the time !

oh, and congratulations kayz !

Hey NJAN, sorry about the chaos.

Where is Trudy and SL?

Lady - I've been away for a few days and have only just seen your post. I am so very very sorry for you and am thinking of you endlessly. Especially today, which must be tough. I agree with the others, that it's good that his suffering was minimal, but it must be terrible and I am thinking of you so much. You poor poor lamb. Let me know if anything I can do. Masses of love to you.

Just back from Cumbria, which was lovely. Beautiful weather. Am now depressed by London grimness! But off to look at house with DH again tomorrow, which will be lovely. Nippers at nursery. He's taking the day off. Bliss.

Must get some toast in littles and me. Big love to all.

xxxx

So sad to hear about your Dad, LadyT .

Just a quick message to say that I'm thinking of you today LadyT.

Sybs: whenever DH cooks he uses every pan and utensil in the house and ends up shouting in the kitchen. The food is pretty good though!

Oh and report on MDs: DS1 liked the chips but the burger 'had green stuff in it like cooked cucumber. I didn't eat it.'

LadyT much love to you today. x

Effie I am afraid my two love a macdonalds I am all for the healthy eating but I dont have a problem with an occasional McDs.

i've taken on being my local nct contact and i'm so shit at it. i haven't sent an email in 6 weeks. ugh ugh ugh. must do something before i go to portugal tomorrow for 2 weeks - which is a mixed blessing. a week with dad, lf and dh and girls, then dh leaves and i have a WHOLE NOTHER WEEK with dad and lf. i love them, don't get me wrong and they are great with the kids, but it's a hell of a long time. the longest i've ever been away is 2 weeks and that was my honeymoon.

anyway, witter, witter, witter

Hello dears, thank you all for your kind support - so much appreciated.

Am still here. Phone has been pinging with messages/emails/texts from friends and that's very nice. I am doing ok under the circs, I think, I just feel vvvv flat. However, had a long chat with my stepmother on the phone last night and felt I was able to say all the right things (for once) and that gave me a real boost - to make her feel a bit better. I don't know when the funeral is going to be yet, I am hoping Friday.

But one nice thing is that DH was on the telly last night, as he was an expert on T i n*t i n (have spaced it out as there are crazy fans) and a documentary film was on BBC4 with him in it a lot, talking. It was so so fabulous to see and hear him again. A bit strange for DP but at least it was an interesting programme It's still on the BBC iPlayer if anyone fancies it, it's called T(that word) and I'. Vag, you asked about DP - he has been really supportive and brilliant over the last few days, and I am very very grateful. The girls have been sods but there we are The once almost saintly DD2 has taken to squealing like a stuck pig and it really pierces the ear.

Oooh, supper. More in a bit.

hi, lady, glad i didn't break the thread with my wittering. lovely to hear from you. lots of love

off to portugal tomorrow - if you want a laugh, check out the bbc weather forecast for faro. one day of sun, the rest one form of rain or another and thundery storms.

we have to get up at 4am tomorrow. oh cocking hell.

Hello peeps,

ladyT I shall have a look on iplayer for that. Glad you made it through a difficult day. Could DD2 be cutting some teeth or has she discovered screaming for fun?

ZJ I had a belated nosy at your baby name thread. Love both choices. I know a baby Anna and a baby Annie, very pretty and classic. I'd also like to suggest Elspeth (my favourite girl's name that DH vetoed!) I wanted Elspeth Rose for J. We did consider Anna and the mum of Anna considered Juliet. Must be from the same stable of names.

WG I don't trust the BBC weather, it changes every five minutes! Hope you have a lovely time.

effie I did chuckle at the idea of cooked cucumbers. In his student days DH tried his hand at cooking a stirfry to impress a girl. It went very soggy and it turned out he'd got mixed up between a courgette and a cucumber. Yum!

Jolly: I do like Elspeth. The girls name I am trying to foist on all my friends and relations is Echo. Not having much luck do far . Maybe a MNer will help me out.

Have a great trip, WG.

Lady: will have a look at the T prog. The big hit of the McD meal was a toy Snowy. Jam: am not being sniffy about fast food, it's just that I really dislike all the offerings there. I get all grumpy and demand Proper Chips. I grew up in a burger wasteland (nearest vendor was the Wimpy in Grimsby which was only for birthday treats) and was sadly disappointed when I tried the much hyped McD's at the grand age of 18. But I am not averse to handing out the odd Greggs sausage roll .

Oh I love Greggs Veggie pasties.

Love Elspeth.

Effie knew you weren't being sniffy. We too were a bereft of takeaways when growing up and the local wimpy was for us the birthday treat too.

Lady we had that programme on last night but want paying attention. Read your post to Dh and he said what a lovely way to be able to keep your memory of your DH with you.

Its VAT and end of yr accounts time in our house. Which means that DH even after my continuous nagging throughout the yr is now trying to find every cab receipt and restaurant bill for the last yr. Scattered throughout his piles of paper in random places in the house. Drives me mental but he is never going to change. I suppose I can take a small victory that I bought a little mail tray which he does manage to occasionally put his post.

Lady - selfishly, really glad you are posting and good to know you got through the day. But would totally understand if you didn't feel like it at all. Not sure I am making any sense at all.

How are we all doing today? I have a million jobs to do and am putting of putting M on the potty. I can't do wee on the carpet. Fortunately no washing machine still so I have an excuse but I soon won't.

Once he can legitimately get him willly out, I fear for my sanity.....

hello ladies,
I have a rare daytime lap-top moment! I have to do my annual mandatory training today which is 4 jolly hours this afternoon, leaving me free this morning :) I have cleaned the bathroom (very long overdue ) and been for a run and bought a Christmas present on-line, and now I can catch up on here! Hurray! Need to eat my dinner soon though as I'm going in half an hour. Hmmm - what shall I eat? Yesterday I was zooming around between schools and visits so went to McDs drive through for my lunch and thought of effie! I had a sweet chilli chicken wrap thing and it was really yummy
WG hope you have a great time away and make the most of the extra pairs of hands. You've been doing so much on your own lately so it's time for a well earned rest.
Beans has been off for a few days. Are you ok? Thinking of you xxx
I keep thinking of Urbs too - when is she due?
And Summer and Trudes - come back!
Jam I'm so glad we don't have the whole tax thing to do - it would definitely hurt my head! Your receipts being hidden around the house made me think of dd1 the other day...she has a set of snow white and the dwarves and a little house and the house was all set out nicely, table laid etc, but no dwarves. I asked her where the dwarves were and she said "they're hiding all round the house in cupboards and under things and in things". Great.
Thanks for asking about my CPN appointment last week. I can't remember if I've already said this, but I have decided not to change meds at the moment. I have felt better this last week so am going to see how things go. If I start to feel low again I will change. It's hard to balance it really, if I think positively and think that I might stay well for ages on my current meds, but then have a big dip, it will be harder to have to go through that then change meds, but if I assume I will feel crap soon and change meds now, I might always wonder if I might have been ok without them, and feel bad for swapping. Does that make sense? Vag and effie it was good to hear your perspective on the bi-polar thing with your experiences. Thank you.
Ok must dash - don't want to be late for my very exciting training!
I'll hopefully be back tonight as DH is out

I love Elspeth and I also love Elodie. Think it's so pretty.

Trace - good to hear from you. How was your day?

Went to see the schools near our new house today. Was v exciting and lovely. Then went to see the house too. Still like it, although DH and I both remembered it bigger! Oops! The master bedroom is quite little, so not sure where we're going to keep our clothes, but we'll work something out!

So, my sister went down to see Dad on Thursday and decided that instead of comforting him, she was going to pour her heart out about her husband and his alcoholism (I think I've mentioned this before). He has done nothing but make her miserable for years and years and she won't leave him. I am feeling really really furious with her at the moment. Our family has given her so much support for so long and all advice falls on deaf ears and I'm so sick and tired of it. Dad has told her to leave him, as it's making her ill and, far more importantly, her daughter now has these psychosomatic headaches and tummy aches and has had to see loads of specialists and they all think it's in her head. Fucking them all up, basically. And somehow, it's become all about her, not Dad. He is worried sick and trying to sort it out for her and now, his last few months, will be worrying about her and not enjoying himself. And I feel so angry. They're taking her out for dinner tomorrow night. I know I sound spoilt now, but she always has special care taken of her because of her shit choice of husband. I really want Dad to spend some time talking about happy things and maybe spending some time with his two other daughters who he hasn't had to worry about and has a laugh with. Hmmmm. Sorry, just cross. And bored of it. I know she's miserable, but she has been for years and won't leave the sod. Sorry sorry. She's 43 years old, for God's sake. You make your choices etc. And she is SO unhappy with him. But it's not like we ALL haven't tried to help her over the years. They've been together for 24 years and I would say she was happy for about 6 of them. It's terribly sad. But she's so entirely self-absorbed. Poor poor Dad. He's busy now trying to sort out his will and ring-fence anything he leaves to her so her husband can't get his hands on it when he dies. LAST thing he needs. It should all be about him, not her. And Dad hates her husband so much. Silly silly girl. Am I wittering? Did any of that make sense?

And of course I will support her where I can, but I wish she hadn't done this now. Her timing is impeccable!!!

Beans you are not wittering at all - sounds like your sister is behaving extremely inconsiderately, putting it mildly. I do remember you posting about her and her husband before. All sounds pretty rubbish, but from what you say, not news and not right to put pressure on your dad in his state

Just popped on to say that I went for a job interview a couple of weeks ago to do part-time hours with this lawyer who needs help, just 2 days a week, variable hours, but about 5 hours per week. I told her we were moving and she said she'd think about it. Anyway, she's offered me the job anyway! Great! Am v pleased about that! Hurrah!

Have decided not to give the sister situation to much airtime in my head or amongst family and get on with things. She is selfish. But apparently, Dad forced her hand a bit and he can be quite naughty with his emotional blackmail, but it's rubbish timing and I am going to rise above it.

Big love to you all.

xxxx

Beans, that is smashing about your job! Sounds perfect. I was going to say, your sister IS being selfish and maybe your other sister or your Mum could give her a bit of a ticking off....sounds like she needs it, seriously.

Trace, that sounds like a sensible choice about the meds. I mean, you keep in close contact with your CPN anyway, don't you, so you can just keep seeing how you feel.

Rubes, if you are reading, I noticed on FB you said you were moving in a couple of weeks. Do tell all!

I have got bronchitis and have been feeling really rough. DP was off work yesterday and it was really helpful as I couldn't really do much. My arms and legs won't work properly, I guess I am just really under the weather, I haven't slept properly for days although I know there are some Trojans on here who haven't slept properly in months, so I won't go on about that

Jam, I think your DH is exactly like my DP with receipts. We have that exact same palaver every quarter (with train tickets and petrol receipts etc).

Effie, though I haven't eaten a MacDonalds burger in decades, I always remember that green dill pickle as the very best bit!

NJAN, it was lovely to see you pop back. Do come again. Sorry to hear about the mayhem.

WG is, I am imagine, in rainy Portugal by now. Hope you are having a nice time, precipitation notwithstanding.

Well, it's looking like the funeral is going to be next Friday (not this) which was also the date of DH's funeral. Actually, I don't mind this - can even take comfort from it, in a strange way. My MIL is coming down tomorrow (originally we thought the funeral might be this Friday) and she is going to help with the girls as DP and I do more packing on his flat and also my flat in London, on Saturday. It's very kind of her and I know she wants to help. But my nerves are so jangled and I feel so vulnerable (being ill doesn't help) that she is just the last person I feel like coping with at the moment, with her nosey questions and irritating remarks. I know that sounds horrid and ungracious, because she does mean well.

Right, must get myself out of my dressing gown, it's nearly time to collect DD1.

Oh Lady - you poor love. It never rains but it pours. How horrible to be feeling so crap, when you're going through a hideous time anyway. Take advantage of MIL being there and spend some time with DP and take some time for yourself. Let her look after the littles for a while and you look after yourself, if you can. Just ignore her when you have to spend time with her. You are grieving and it must be so awful. I really hope you can keep your chin up. It sounds so glib, but I mean it. Thinking of you.

DD1 was up for 2.5 hours last night and only went to sleep when DH went to speak to her. I even had her in bed with us for half an hour, which NEVER happens!!! It didn't work, so it didn't last! I am consequently knackered and having been brave for a few days, have melted into tears a couple of times today! But I know it's mostly down to exhaustion, I think. I also feel a bit guilty in a strange kind of way, because my life is going so well at the moment and I have moments of being so delighted with the house move and the job and then they're tempered with thoughts of Dad not having his life to himself any more. He has to share it with f*cking cancer and his inevitable demise and I don't feel like I should be happy. I know he'd want me to be, so am trying to enjoy the good stuff. But in a strange way, I already miss him. Does that make sense? Ho hum. I will keep my chin up and be chirpy where I can.

Lady - I really am thinking of you and sending you my best love. Little comfort at the moment, but it's floating towards you in the ether. xxxx

Beans, fab news about the job and the house :) less good about your sister, sounds like she will never change tbh and your dad doesn't need to be worrying about that too. re you able to visit him with the girls at all? (sorry not been following very closely )

Lady how lovely to see dh on the tv! Sorry you're not well, it makes everything much harder to deal with when you're feeling crap as well. Will be thinking of you next Fri (as ever), and are younable to get some time away from MIL for a bit of peace?

Well now that our boiler epic is over, builder is here to rip out old shower room and redo, and more joy ensues.... We knew it wasn't the best put together and there had been a leak. Turns out it was basically held together with blu tack and must have been leaking for years - we've never used it but the rafters are sopping wet, he had said it was one of the ten worst he'd ever seen, then found some more utterly crap (and dangerous) workmanship and bumped it to the top of his list [glowing with pride] He needs to take out the floor and the hall ceiling below and it's going to add another 1k to the job thank feck i'm on ML basically and am around to make decisions.

But we still have the apple trees so that's making up for it, a bit... And S has 9/10 of the Lolas available on her reward chart this week, and E only woke once last night then slept til 6.30 so the glass remains half full really!

I've been hopeless at keeping up but have just logged on to see such dreadfully sad news. Lady, I'm so sorry about the shocking loss of your Dad. What a terrible time of year for you. I hope that MIL's visit goes better than expected and that you get some time to look after yourself.

And, Beans...so very sorry to hear the news about your Dad too. Just awful. My Mum had cancer 5 years ago now and we are always wondering if/when it will rear its head again. Sorry your sister isn't helping matters. But very glad to hear good news about your job and house.

I am in bed eating salt and vinegar rice cakes after being up all night with a vom bug. Ick!!! Felt awful. Luckily DH is here and despite having knee surgery on Friday was somehow able to help with the boys this morning. And luckily our childminder was able to take DS1 for the day so I just had DS2 to contend with.

My parents have been here for the past week and was so nice to have their help. Wishing they were closer to us but not enough to regret changing our minds about the move to Canada!

Was there talk of a Nov/Xmas meet up?

Those on Facebook, I realised that I'm missing lots of you from my friends list so I'm going to try to search you out. If you get a request it could be me!

hello ladies.
mom good to see you again. Hope you recover quickly from your nasty bug.
ladyt I'll be thinking of you next Friday. So sorry you're going through this.
beans yes I think your sister is being rather selfish giving your dad extra burdens. Although could it maybe (with a big stretch of the imagination) be good for your dad to have something else to focus on? Congratulations on the job I can see why it's hard to feel happiness at a time of such sadness, but I'm sure your dad would like you to enjoy these good things.
Well P managed to stuff a raisin up her nose today, resulting in a nose bleed of epic proportions. She looked like she'd been in a huge accident, blood all over her hands, face, coat and trousers! She did it while I was driving, so it was a few seconds before I could pull over and help her. Anyway, we were right near the GPs so I took her in, borrowed (well, not borrowed really) some tissues and asked if the nurse had a moment to try to get the raisin with tweezers. Nurse tried but couldn't really see due to the blood, so I spent the rest of the day trying to make her blow her nose as hard as she could and eventually, after about 5 hours, the raisin came out It was massive! I don't think she'll be doing that again in a hurry!
We had actually already been at the GP about an hour earlier too, because P has a strange patch on her tongue which it turns out is called gepgraphic tongue Quite interesting! The GP was quite excited as he hadn't seen one for years!