Dec 08 Ladies - We're fat, we're thin, we're nearly 3 years in!!

[DeidreBarlow]

Sorry for the shocking title - couldn't think of anything else and our babies little people will be 3 in the next few months!

Exactly what both DH & my brother said Effie Thanks - good to hear I'm not thinking unreasonably.

How's our Beans?

Morning everyone.

Beans, I am really, really sorry to hear all that. It's horrendous. The only thing I can say is that I have always thought that being just snuffed out by a car accident (such as Vag's DS1's Dad) is probably harder as at least you and your Dad have some time together. But I don't really know for sure. See what I have to say further down.

Sorry to hear about the house and childcare dramas, Rubes. That all sounds v tricky.

And good luck with DS and the business about his mate leaving, PD.

Well, I haven't caught up properly - I was in London on Friday for a party then DP brought the kids there as we had an appointment yesterday with top allergies prof. for DD2. Turns out she is allergic to all tree nuts and also eggs, which she really reacted to with the scratch test. So we have to carry two epi pens now and there's going to be quite a lot of follow up (also relating to her eczema, which she gets on her face and legs).

So that was that, and just as we were coming out my sister phoned me to say that my Dad's in hospital with a chest infection. But they also found out he has lung cancer. He had lymphoma (cancer of the lymphatic system) 7 yrs ago and that was all beaten back and got rid of, so I have always worried about it coming back; but this isn't secondaries from that, it's a completely different, unrelated primary cancer which is inoperable, as lung cancer almost always is. They have offered him chemo, probably much like with your Dad, Beans, which is only to prolong life or help with symptoms rather than to try to cure. He is very keen to have it (it chased his lymphoma away), even though he knows this is palliative not curative, and I think he and my Step mother are hoping for a year or more but I do fear it will be less. But you just never know, as we have said.

Sorry to bring the thread down. More later.

Oh Lady - I'm so sorry and so sad for you. Oh God. It's just all too agonising. I feel totally wiped out for you and am thinking of you so much. I'm so so so sorry and I know exactly what you're going through. I feel so very very sad. I do feel glad I have some time with Dad and I hope you do too. It is heartbreaking and I have loved seeing him (as I did yesterday as well) this week, but have also found it wrenchingly emotional. Yesterday he gave me a hug and we both started weeping and I couldn't let him go, nor him me. We were hugging for ages. I don't ever want him to die, but I do know it's going to happen. It must be terrifying. I hate thinking about it. But I do think about it all the time and it's a body blow, almost every time. I guess I'm still adjusting to the reality.

My heart hurts for you, too, LT. Miserable miserable. xxx

Gosh, it never rains but it pours. LadyT I am so sorry to hear about your Dad, how tough for you all. Much love xx

Thank you. I think he is grateful for any more time at all and I am trying to follow that lead, really. It just proves how precious life is, which I think we all need to remind ourselves of, not just people with a limited time left. Because we ALL have a limited time left and I mean that in the nicest possible way!

I feel like I've got lead weights on my arms and legs. I bet you feel like that as well, Beans.

But we have to keep batting. And I have been making myself smile about the happy times.

Oh no again Lady just read your FB about DD2 and now this So sorry x

Thanks Rubes. How are things with your DH now? And I will be back later but two things -

1. Having read up on the latest about lung cancer, it is quite amazing how things have changed in the 6 years since DH had it. And I pored over so many books, studies and websites at the time. What I mean is, treatments and drugs which were cutting edge or in limited use then, are much more commonplace now. More is known about the disease even in that short time, and even survival rates have improved (ok, albeit slightly, but still). So, with cancer care, things are genuinely improving all the time. Something to feel glad about!

1. Good pal of mine is a diplomat. His next posting, next year, is to Canberra for a few years. Anyone of you Aussie ladies know much about the place? Funny, you never seem to hear much of it given that it's the capital.

Lady, things are progressing / advancing all the time which gives hope.

DH thing was fine - I know he's just knackered. He worked all weekend, as well as trying to get out earlyish yesterday but in the end not home until 1130pm, so he is forgiven. Plus, my laptop got a major virus and since it was falling apart anyway, he got me a new one as a surprise, so can't really stay mad. Still a bit miffed at mil though.
Can I ask those of you with littles in nursery, are they flexible in days / times? It seems I have to pay for (say if it's Mondays) every Monday not just 2 per mon th or something, plus if it's a bnak holiday I still get charged? Is that normal practise?

Ooh and Canberra, dunno what Vagola thinks but eek. Only went once for a few days and no desire to return..... But that's just my impression and it was many many moons ago.

No worries about Canberra I was just curious. I am sure my mate will be ok anyhoo, his current posting is in a difficult, war torn country so he will be glad of the change.

Nurseries - our pre-school is pretty inflexible (only open mornings in any case) but from what I hear, Rubes, what you describe is unfortunately pretty common.

Oh oh, DD2 is crying...

LadyT I am so so sorry to hear about your Dad. I really hope you can have some great times with him and that the chemo can give him some more time. Thinking of you loads. You too Beans xxx

Oh LadyT, much love & white light to you & your dad, and his DP. That is hard, esp with what he has been through with Lymphoma and what you went through with your DH. Wish I could have another night out with you ladies, I think you need it.

Oh and condolences also to your friend, Canberra is by far the most boring place in Australia. It's close to the snowy mountains and some lovely landscapes but apart from that I think I'd rather have my fingernails removed with plyers than live in Canberra.

So sorry to hear your sad news LadyT and Beans . Thinking of you both and your families.

I'm sorry LadyT, what horrible and shocking news for you . I hate to think of you and Beans going through this - so damned unfair. Random q: are you warm enough? We have our fire lit in the evenings and I often think of you and your equally draughty house (esp if heating not fixed yet).

Rubes: my experience with nurseries is middling re flexibility. DS1's nursery wasn't bad, mainly cos it was a hospital nursery and so had to deal with shift working (and they could generally fill any spaces given notice).

LadyT, I am so sorry to hear your news about your dear dad. Life is very cruel sometimes. I am sending you huge amoutns of love and strength.

Beans, how are you today?

Trace, have you spoken to the CPN?

Nurseries - in my experience, they tend to be very inflexible about changing days, preferring you to buy an extra day if you need a Tuesday or whatever. I think the Bank hol thing is fair enough though, as they have to pay their staff whether they are open or not. It's just one of the (many) buggers for mums who work on a monday.

Have been lurking and not known quite what to post. I am so sorry Beans and Lady. You both speak about your fathers with such love it is heartbreaking. I hope you are able to treasure the time you have left, however long it is. Wish I could give you both a big hug (and a stiff drink). xxx

So sorry to hear your news LadyT. I can't imagine how heartbroken both you and Beans must be. Awful. Much love to you both.

Sorry to hear your sad news LadyT. Thinking of you x

I have no words of wisdom for you lovely girls. I cant imagine what you are going through. So much strength and love to you both. Remember we are all here for you. xx

Oh Gosh LadyT, I am so sorry about your dad. How is his chest infection now? Is he out of hospital? Sending you lots of love and positive thoughts.

And thinking of you too Beans.

What a horrid coincidence to hit this thread.

Oh lovely lovely beans and lady, I'm so sorry to hear about your beloved dads. What a lot to be dealing with all at once. Will say some prayers for you all if that's ok, today is All Saints and there will be a huge team of extra voices adding to anything anyone asks today. My aunt had lung cancer (mum's sister) and the thing I really remember was that she stayed herself, but had to whisper, which was very odd as she'd always been such a strident character - she spent a fortune on hospital phone cards still running the whole family from her bed :) Hope that doesn't seem like making light of things.

trace will say some for you as well, hope you can get some more help to get out of the dark place. As someone said, we all feel like that sometimes but it sounds like ti's too often for you. You deserve to be able to enjoy your girls and your family life, please ask your doc what else can be tried to help.

Puts my daft fb whinges into context about no hot water

Have popped on briefly to say hello as have been AWOL fir ages and from a tiny skim read it seems lady and beans have had some bad news. So sorry, my lovelies. Will read properly and try and catch up.

Hello everyone. Am feeling more together about it all today. It's still bloody awful, but Dad will be wonderful to the end, as he always is. And it doesn't change who he is or how much everyone loves him. He is a wonderful man and won't be forgotten by anyone!

It's strange how life goes on, as we've just had our offer accepted on the house we want to buy. I am so delighted and terrified and happy about it, that my feelings are all a bit muddled because I feel so sad at the same time! How strange! But I am pleased, just wish it wasn't tempered by feeling sad. BUT Dad will be so happy and excited for us, which is brilliant! Oh yay! A home!

Ladyt I am so to hear about your Dad, its just awful. Sending lots of love to you...how is he doing?

Beans Am thinking of you too.

Hello everyone,

Lovely news about your offer beans. Muddling on is all you can do I suppose. Having something lovely going on creating a new home for your and your little birds will be something nice for you and your parents to focus on I think. Did anything come of the job or does the move mean that isn't possible anymore.

JJ Having no hot water can't be much fun. Is your heating off too? Can you play the 'young DC's' card with British gas and get you bumped up the list?

ladyT With your other news I forgot to say anything about DD2 and her allergy appointment. Did they give any indication of whether she will grow out of it? Has she had problems with eggs before?

effie We have found our new house quite drafty now the nights are drawing in. I am setting my mum to work on some double sided draft excluders this weekend.

rubes Unless you have a hospital nursery (who accomodate shift changes) they tend to be very strict on booked sessions. It is a pain in the bum.

at everyone else.

Had a miserable hospital appointment yesterday with a kidney 'expert' who seemed for the most part to have no idea what my underlying condition is but who is very keen to rush through putting me on some meds which he said I can't bf on. I am taking all what he said with a pinch of salt and not taking anything until speaking to the Birmingham people but he said 'well just put her on bottles', as if it was the easiest thing in the world. I am no anti formula person (DD was entirely FF afterall!) but I don't want to stop bf yet. I shall see what happens. Having a 24 blood pressure monitor thing done first.

DD1 shouted at DH in a public toilet yesterday for not sitting down to wee. DH was very on exit.

Hope everyone else is ok.

Hello,
Jolly, typical - and I bet you'll get a different response the next one you talk to
Funny you should say about hospital nursery! Have just rang dh's work one and am in a slight dilemma - it's Brilliant, and really cheap with his discount compared to ours now (not compared to you Northern lot's nurseries ) but they also open at 7am as standard and their top up package is quite good with the 3 y/o grant thing. Could put them both in two days / week, but it's not local (well 20 min drive) compared to 5 min walk where they are, but dh really quite keen on it even though he's been having to drop off / pick up etc. My concern is the emerg person (mil) being in bleedin Kent - (well just inside nr E london really) but still, it's an age away if dh needed her, otherwise there's no-one else. Might go on a tour of it, but have to get back to them ASAP if I want the spots...... Bit of a dlemma. What do you all think - a nursery walking distance, more expensive, tight for DH to drop them off and get to work if I'm not around, or stay at the local one, pay more, but be local so I can do the droppping off etc if I'm not working? I guess the other is only 20 mins.....
Beans that house is lovely. Hope it all goes through quick and easy. Your Dad will be so pleased, hope you're ok, keep your chin up x