July 2010: C'mon threadbabes: eat like MLIC's; drink like TSC's; smile like Memphis's; laugh like Cakes's; crawl like nearly all of them (except Cake's)... but mainly: sleep like Spireals

[CakeandRoses]

Here we be (phew!)

could you ask for a second opinion mlic? you're entitled to that if you think they are talking shit might not be right.

why did you decide it wasn't dairy? because his crying didn't seem to flare up at the same time as you introduced dairy back? it might be worth exploring it further tho as some people are intolerant/allergic to components such as lactose/casein only irrc and it might have been that the first dairy things you gave him were lower in those things iyswim?

spirael i take swimwear and 'sensible' (ie not crotchless ) underwear so i can alternate depending if my swimwear is wet or getting uncomfortable. they should provide a nice snuggly, big dressing gown but check if you're nervous that they might not! So I would arrive to the actual spa in normal clothes and then quickly change into underwear or cossie with the robe over the top and then just waft around the place like that all day (inc at lunch). Bliiiiss!

For the massage itself they'll prob ask you to take your bra off so you'll just be wearing knickers.

I also take some lipbalm, brush, hairband/clip, make-up, deodorant, toothbrush or chewing gum, chocolate, magazines and a book (see - my typical overpacking chulita ) but don't tend to end up actually reading much unless i've gone alone. i also take face moisturiser and shampoo/comditioner if i'm likely to shower and wash my hair at the end.

V jealous as my cousin and sister have been bugging me for months to go with them on one of our (usually) regular champneys days but i haven't felt ready to leave A yet, partly due to bf. We're currently in the process of looking for dates in May tho so an end is in sight

Morning all

Memphis I would be fuming. Dp can be stupid like that too. He bought a car without telling me, luckily for him his bil bought it or I would have went mad. No offence but it seems unfair him blaming your pnd for not telling you things even if you are more abrupt than usual it doesn't excuse lies.

Mlic and tsc it must be so frustrating having them cry all the time. Mlic I agree a 2nd opinion may be the way to go.

Regarding R wanting our bed your right I have to boot camp her may have to wait till the weekend as dp is off till tuesday so even if he's woken up its just tough. Or do you think I am being unreasonable to get him to sleep on the settee so I can bootcamp her?

trudyla r goes to most people too think its because she has loads of people around her

back from the docs and about 3 pints of tears later, he has upped the meds for 2 weeks, i see him at the end of next week as ive got my mouth op next tuesday, he thinks im being made a lot worse due to the mouth ache getting me down for so long and hopes once thats healed i will be a lot better. but he said hes extremely concerned for my state of mind and wanted to call someone to be with me today. spoke to dh too, ive TOLD him he is selling the off road bike and said once his debt is cleared i want him to have more financial input into our family, he offered to not pay so much off so he can input more now but i dont want him too i used to be like spirael and have file boxes etc and write down my spending, i dont read bank statements of mine as i know what i spend, dont have overdrafts or debts so i know where i stand. he is going to give me money each month for L's birthday and i've told him my support group friends who's children are L's age are priority over his mates 7yo's, hes agreed. all seems like a positive step but i fear this may be the death knoll for us :( im hoping once im not so over sensitive things will be ok

mlic i adore him i really do, he tells me every day he loves me, he just doesnt think, he isnt used to womens feelings, when i say im upset, angry or something he doesnt ever know what to say but he was brought up by his dad who is not an emotional man at all, i have to remember that even if he was brought up by a mum, his mum is very cold with no emotion too, i think he thinks if he does something wrong then i will just go oh ok then, then when i dont he doesnt understand why, we never ever argued before i fell pg it was a very calm life now its just mad! and i genuinely think its because ive gone mad, i begged doc to take me away and then when i said that to dh, he said i dont understand why you would say that, i dont know why either!

memph it sounds like the pnd/pain talking. he honestly sounds like a great guy and you obviously have a good relationship normally. everything you've said sounds like a step forward.

i'm sure once you've had your op and your new meds kick in this will all look so much better

mlic just been searching on MN for you re W's crying and thought this thread was interesting. so many posters saying allergies/intolerances turned out to be the cause.

Memphis your dh really does sound like he adores you and wants the best for you and L. You will get through this you obviously adore each other.

thanks for replies, i feel better hearing that, hes just phoned and told me he loves me, sorry for taking over thread!!!! right this is a baby thread so on that note.... L has realised how to open doors hes just pulled all pots out onto floor then i went in again and he had a cereal bar in mouth and one in each hand!! i think i need to find door locks!!!

it's a baby thread?! . No-one told me that

oh and i forgot to say earlier, welcome back wss

Oh dear memphis, sounds like you are having a rough time. I hope things will improve soon what with your operation and all. Please don't feel you should only talk about babies on here. I think of it more as a general chatter thread and have also taken over with all my moving questions

Speaking of which:

Aww, cake it is so nice of you to offer to look at houses for us. And thanks for your offer for builders contacts. It would be great if I could take you up on that once we get to that stage. SIL lives near Saffron Walden and has actually spent her Easter weekend looking at areas and towns for us that we told her to check out. So we have sent our little spies out already. She is very sweet and helps us out a lot like that and actually keeps sending us links to houses not far from them

I don't think we would mind a renovation project even though we are def not gifted with the hammer but have fun thinking what it will look like which is where your tradesmen might come in handy. I'm just trying to see the whole thing more as a fun adventure and not get too uptight about it. DP will go over to England next month to check out a few areas and we will all go in June to (hopefully) view some houses. I'll let you know how we are getting on.

Spirael Questions and worries about spas like yours are exactly why I never enjoyed going and usually avoid being given a "treat" like that. I spent the whole of the full body massage thinking, Oh no, is she gonna remove the towel? Is she gonna see my bum? What if I have sock fluff between my toes? And things like that. Def too much stress for me. I hope you will be different to me though and manage to enjoy it. The others have given some good tips.

MLIC I would try without the dairy for a bit as well. I think I might do that as well and see if it makes a difference. When I reintroduced dairy and she didn't get the runs or threw up I just assumed she grew out of it. But maybe it just changed her behaviour and she is so grumpy all the time because of it. Cake's thread was really interesting. I really feel for you about losing patience though. When they just cry and cry you can't help but start thinking it is just them being horrible and they are out to get you, you and no one else. I really hope things will improve soon!

We are currently trying to influence M's sleep into 7 to 7 at night and then a long lunch time nap rather than 3 short ones during the day. She's been down for 2 hours 20 now so it's looking rather good. Better get some stuff done before she wakes up.

Sorry for -yet another- epic post.

Aw memphis sorry you're feeling so low. You and dp will def work things through. You're good together and hopefully this will give him the kick up the bum to realisr he needs to think more.
E is learning to open doors too and drawers and im so afraid of her catching her fingers!

i'm all dusty and knackered but feeling v pleased with myself. I decided last night to donate the room next to the sitting room (which I'd earmarked as my study) to F and A to use as a playroom instead. Have spent the last couple of hours dusting and 'hovering' then lugging toys, books, craft stuff, and furniture from room to room. I'm going to see if F uses the room first before spending money on stuff for it or redecorating it.

I had decided on a gorgeous Oriental scheme for the room when it was to be my study so not sure what i'll do decor-wise now. i don't want it to look all bright and childish so will try to think of a way to still make it look pretty but also welcoming for them.

I'm feeling v excited about making some sort of tent/den with cushions in there to hide in myself.

i'm hoping F does like using it cos currently I always 'base' us in the kitchen/utility and never use the sitting room in the day so it will be nice to do that sometimes now, especially when he has friends over to play.

oh trudy, saffron walden is lovely - some beautiful old houses there that i always drool over and some nice antique shops too.

I prefer the location (ie distance to london and convenience of the train station to the town centre/our house) of my own town (think you know where i live) so if you're thinking of living in Saffron W then it's worth making sure that doesn't matter so much to you.

If you haven't already then i would do a list of the things that are important to you and then draw up a short list of towns with those aspects if I were you - otherwise it's easy to get seduced by a beautiful house in randomtown and forget that you'll never be able to pick it up and move it to a town where you'd prefer the lifestyle.

i was thinking of you too re that thread actually but forgot to draw it to your attention too, sorry. did you mean that M did have a dairy problem before via your bm?

Right, better get showered and dressed as did all the moving in my PJs. off to the garden centre/nursery with A to buy a rose to replace one that was stolen recently and some bark to make the soil look neat for mulch.

How exciting MLIC. Sounds fantastic. Try not to worry. It's always gonna be stressful, but the garden and extra bedroom will be fantastic. And you are so careful with money, you can totally save it elsewhere! I'm really pleased for you and hope you'll go for it. Fingers crossed.

Oh and cake, a big cheer for A crawling, even though M is now officially the only baby on the thread who doesn't, isn't she.

Also well done on sorting out the play room. I love the feeling of decluttering and sorting out rooms, tidying and making everything look nice Let us know when you've decided on the theme.

I was never quite sure about M being dairy intolerant or not. It seemed to give her belly aches and diarrhoea so I stopped eating dairy myself last October and didn't give her any when I weaned her first. Her doctor said that once her stomach has matured I could try again and I did when she was 7 or 8 months. I didn't notice any belly aches so thought she was over it. But she has been much more cryie over the last few months. I just talked about it with DP though and he thinks she has been getting so much better even though she has loads of dairy now, so I think I will monitor it for a bit longer before I go cutting anything out again.

As for our move, I think a list is a good idea. We are actually not dependent to get into London as we are both self employed and work from home. This means that we don't have to compete with commuter prices which is a good thing.

Off to make a list now. Cheers.

Helloooo

Was it chulita who 'knew' the lady who lost her baby last year? Well I couldnt remember if you are friends with her on fb but shes preg again, yay!

Yea, she pops onto the August thread sometimes and let us know, so happy for her! I really, really hope this little one stays big and strong. :)

trudyla Spirael's little girly isn't moving yet either and neither is Woodlands so I think you're alright for the moment

Re Dairy Intolerance I know I keep banging on about S and his but seriously, it completely changed his personality when I cut it out. I cut out all dairy and soya for 6 months. I'm now totally back on dairy and he's fine but I've not given him any yet. I'm going to try him with cheese in a few weeks cos that's not got much lactose but lots of cow's milk protein so if he doesn't react it shows it's not the protein but more likely the lactose. I'll try yoghurt a few weeks after cheese if there's no reaction. GPs will still prescribe Ysoy but that should NOT be used for suspected dairy intolerance because one often leads to the other.
It also took 10 days to notice a difference so if you are going to do it, stick it out for 2 weeks before writing it off.
Also, a friend had a refluxy/dairy intolerant baby, she's the same age as L and apparently she shows no physical symptoms if she has too much dairy but her behaviour goes out the window. She's just whingy/tantrumy/defiant/hyper if she has too much, her mum will give her one fromage frais or one piece of cheese but she doesn't dare load her up with dairy stuff.

memphis sorry you're having such a hard time. I'm with you on the lying though, it doesn't sound remotely childish, you're in a relationship and you wouldn't do that to him. It's all about trust isn't it? If you can't trust your own dh then you can't feel secure in the relationship. I hope he pulls his socks up and mans up to what he needs to start giving. Re the pnd, it will get better, this won't go on forever. You've done really well getting out of the house so much and meeting people and that's only going to do you good.

cake as and when we get this house I'll pick your brain for some ideas. I'd love to have a beautiful house but I don't know where to start!

tsc you didn't mention the chocolate salad on that thread And being asked to explain a creme egg why on earth do you ever need an excuse to eat chocolate? (she says having just polished off 4 kitkat fingers crushed on top of a bowl of mint ice-cream). One of these days you'll look at F and realise he's 2 and these marathon never-ending feeding sessions will be a dim memory. Just keep the terrible twos in sight

a really good friend of mine is getting married in Watford in June and I'm aching to go to her hen-do too but for two nights in the area it'll cost about £160. It's bad enough for the wedding and I just don't think I can justify spending that twice Just a shame the in-laws have sold up and are moving or we could stay for free at theirs. I'm just gutted cos she was here last weekend and said how excited she was that I'd be at her hen-do and I just don't think we can afford it

mlic that's so exciting! We're moving really slowly on our house purchase and we keep getting second thoughts about buying where we are cos it's miles from our friends but there's no way on this earth we can afford to buy in the south-east where all our friends are. It's a lot of money to throw at something that you keep wondering if it's in the right place...

Yup, she told us on the August thread when she found out she was pg - so glad all's still going well!

That sucks Chulita. We have two weddings in two weeks coming up next month and they do get really expensive. DH is going to the stag do for one of them this coming weekend - it's in Leeds and is going to cost him a fortune.

Yes, J isn't crawling yet, and I can't believe that all but two or three babies on the thread are! ONly about half the NCT babies are, if that. I'm making the most of it for the moment.

Fingers crossed they accept your offer mlic!