April 2011-kicking back drinking lactulose cocktails and riding the maternity surfboards

[Petalouda]

Post-natal thread for all the antenatal April 2011 Family!

Share the birth stories, the baby blues and everything else.

Thanks Liv that helps a bit, I have boots nipples shields which I've had varying success with, sometimes she can latch no problem other times she just chews the end of it! Will give them a try again today. Have just phoned MW so they are going to try and get in touch with the BF support worker in my area and see if they can visit this afternoon and give me some advice. I think perhaps a mix is going to be more suited to me as exclusive BF is draining me completely!! DP is a bit anti-BF as DSS was FF and it upsets him to see me in pain and getting stressed and Robyn screaming the place down!!

MrsW - none of that 'failing/failure' talk allowed here ok?! Any breastmilk is better than none so if mixed works for you then go for it. Remember you've already given her the best start with the colostrum & first few days.

It does sound like she wasn't really hungry when she was 'feeding/falling asleep'; either she wanted more cuddles - i often underestimate the effect of temperature on babies, esp as i'm still really hot (& sweaty!).
What i've started doing with M is, folding a blanket around her as i feed, that has an extra bit near her head so i can lift it up and lie her down on that when i do put her down - if that makes sense?
Or she was upping your supply for the next few days.
If the shields give your nipples a rest then use them every feed for a few days. Maybe experiment with other brands though if the ones you have aren't ideal. Some people really frown on shields but i say if they do a job then go ahead, even if you end up using them for a while, what's the harm?

Also make sure you're piling on the Lansinoh whenever you remember - don't think you can use too much of the stuff.

Thanks also JKS I have been wrapping her in a blanket for feeding (mainly to keep flailing hands out of the way!) and more often than not she will go down after, it just seems to be night time thats the problem but I guess all babies have an unsettled period and hers just happens to be when I most need my bed!!

Just thought there that it could be her increasing the supply!

I've used boots shields too, but prefer the medula, the nipple bit isn't so big so DD latches on easier and thet are shaped so that baby has more skin to skin rather than skin to shield.

Well I think I have a velcro baby! G will settle in moses basket at night but only if swaddled, which he will tolerate for about 3-4 hours. Last night he slept from11:30-3:30 with lots of grunting, and snuffling like having a little pig in the room!.

Then I fed him again but had stupidly forgotten to replace my maternity pad in my knickers when I went to the toilet so consequently bled all over the bed, so had to change the bedding and my nightie at 4:30. G then snuffled and fidgeted and grunted till 7am, but I couldn't get back to sleep. DH was sleeping in spare room as its his first day back at work after 2 weeks paternity leave. Then I had to get up anyway to get dd dressed and ready for nursery. Attempted to go back to bed with G but he was having none of it, so all morning he has been feeding/sucking or crying/screaming. He has done 5 poos, and is now propped up on my bed, crying again. I have just had to leave him to cry as needed to get dressed, shower etc.

He will eventually settle if held but not by me as I'm sure he smells my boobs and just wants to suck. He won't have a dummy just keeps spitting it out. So my next ploy is to go out for a long walk with him in pram. The only problem is I am knackered and I literally feel like a could lie down on the pavement and go to sleep. I keep having visions of a big bed with soft white cotton sheets and pillows, that I could just sink into and sleep for ever. I'm sure if I went into any furniture stores I couldn't resist the lure of the bed section and someone would find me there snuggled down on a display bed just before the shop shut.

MrsWajs breast feeding is hard isn't it and I think you have to do what is best for you and your dd and if that means formula top ups then that is what you have to do and try not to beat yourself up about it. I have contemplated formula myself but having managed to exclusively bf dd until 7 months then I'm going to try keep going but I'm lucky my nipples are not too sore (at the moment!) God its not easy this business of having babies is it!

Hello all and congratulations to the new arrivals! Some more lovely name choices I see.

We're (ie Me) are having a bit a time of it on a night. Sam just will not settle after waking up for his 1am-ish feed. During the day he's fine usually, settles to sleep and happily goes back in his moses basket. 1am and he decides that he's not going back to sleep. Last night this lead to me being awake from 12.30 - 3.30 with wide awake baby while DH (who is back at work now) tried to get some sleep in the spare room. Sam eventually fell asleep on me so I rolled him off to lie next to me and he slept in our bed again. He then woke up at 5am for his next feed >Beetle digs out match sticks for eyes< DH was a star and took over just before 6am so I could get a couple of hours sleep before the next feed.

I think some of Sam's middle of the night grumbles are because he gets trapped wind then (another farter here!), we're trying the Infacol too but the smell makes me gag so I'm not too keen!

After the success of finally getting breast feeding from the breast established I think I may now have thrush my nips are so sore (especially righty) and I keep getting a deep tissue pain in the breast. I'm off to one of the baby cafe's today to see if they can say yes it is or whether it's just my latch that's causing the problem.

MrsW there's nothing I can add to the advice above expect to second that you shouldn't feel bad and that any breastmilk is better than none!

Jen I x posted with you but it sounds like you've had similar night/morning to us! Passes and cake over, I think we all need it!

Hi all,

Struggling to find time to keep up with all the chat so I won't name check but HUGE congrats to all the new mums and new babies. Love reading the birth stories.

Mrs W, sending out positive vibes to you for breastfeeding. Because Conor was born so early I have never managed to properly breastfeed, though I get a few random times when we seem to manage it, so I am bottle feeding with expressed milk and formula. It's interesting, when in a situation like mine where I am not 'judged' for not being able to breastfeed, how positive the health visitors have been about using formula. All I get told is that I'm doing really well to keep expressing too and that babies thrive on formula. I think there is so much positive reinforcement of breastfeeding that you end up feeling dreadful for even thinking about formula when it really isn't that terrible to use, it's certainly not bad to use it to top up. Keep trying with the boobs but don't feel bad if you top up with formula. I STILL feel guilty about not being able to BF even though I know I have done everything I could and if Conor is ever sick or unsettled I think, 'it's probably the formula'. We are programmed to beat ourselves up and it's bonkers.

I'm reading an interesting book at the moment called The Sensational Baby Sleep. Is anyone else trying this method? I'm about to start using it as Conor is corrected age of two weeks and I am quite keen to see if we can establish some sort of routine. There's a lot in the book that seems to make sense, though like most routines it's hard to see how it works when you're not just at home all day. This morning we are trying positive sleep assurance and he's actually doing quite a good job of sleeping in his moses basket upstairs. Mind you he was in bed with me from 6am till 9am as he woke every two hours through the night and then wouldn't settle so we'll see!

Also one who suffers with a windy baby. I won't leave the house without Infacol but also Conor has bottom wind and seems to get very distressed before a big old fart pops out. I'm sure that's the main cause of his crazy crying times.

Yes, I too have a windy, farty baby. Not tried infacol yet, but sounds like it's worth a try. Been out for a lovely long walk, G of course slept soundly in pram. Just home, in through door and he's woken up, weep!

Beetle and cake gratefully accepted.

JoeW What is positive sleep assurance, could sure do with some in this household!

Afternoon all,

Sounds like we're all struggling with wind & sleep. F has started not-settling until after midnight (after being awake from 5pm-ish). Last night he finally went to sleep about midnight, but then woke up every hour from 3am. He also eventually ended up sleeping on my chest from 6-9am. (had a similar shit mum episode, where in the end I just put him on the bed to cry, I couldn't do anything, he wouldn't even feed. When DH settled him immediately it only made me feel worse )

He's really windy too, I've been telling myself for ages that it's normal, and he's burping & farting so it can't be anything amiss. But he's started screaming and flailing a lot more, and is getting really upset when he does a proper sick-up (as opposed to a little posset), which is fair enough - even I can't stand the acidic smell of it.

So we have tried him on Dentinox colic drops. I don't know what the infacol ones are like, but this stuff's mega minty - which makes his burps smell a lot better, but he absolutely hates it. So we end up with him screaming and flailing anyway, with terrible guilt that I've done this to him, etc. etc. But it does seem to help, and the mint-related screaming is a lot shorter than the sicky/windy screaming.

Jo - let us know how the Sensational Baby Sleep thing goes, I'll see if it's in at the library - thinking we'll try anything at this point!

I've also been unceremoniously hoofed out of my baby bubble this morning with a call from the bank to say that my card's been defrauded . Which they've fortunately caught and stopped (the rather large sum some oik was trying to extract) but I need to check the rest. Now normally, my finances are so bad there's nothing there to take! But I've been really good since september, and was building myself a nice maternity-leave buffer, which is a shame. I'm also a proper ostritch when it comes to finances. So waiting for DH to come home to hold my hand while I check it all through (card's already been cancelled, so another 6 hours won't make a difference!).

Time to open the chocolate biscuits, I think.

Oh, and meant to say yesterday, we're now having smiles, coos, gurgles and faces! Which is brilliant, and makes my day! Must try to remember that in the middle of the night!

Thanks guys for all your advice, feel much better now. BF support worker came round within the hour and said latch looks pretty good and R seems to be taking a good feed, the initial latch pain is probably due to existing grazing etc but should hopefully clear up if latch stays good and is right each time, so no more lazy throwing her on at 4am!! Also reassured me that if a formula top up is what's required to settle her at night then so be it. Better for us all to be happy and relaxed! She's coming back again at 4pm for next feed to double check again and see if any further adjustments can be made to prevent initial latch pain!! I've had more help from her in less than an hour than I did from any MW during a 2 day stay in hospital! Have really not been impressed with their PN are at all! But will rant about that another time!

Petalouda Just wanted to say be aware of transctions still being made on your card despite it being cancelled, this happened to me once before. Even though it's been cancelled if a transaction is smaller than £100 it will still be processed!! How bloody annoying for you though!

Petal - nightmare! Surely the bank will refund anything fraudulently taken? Isn't that how it works?

Jen - we have got exactly the same scenario, it is horrendous. T will just not sleep! He is wide awake now, having been awake pretty much since 8am. He is exhausted, and therefore wants milk - which I give him and he drops off to sleep, only to pop awake again the moment I try and put him down anywhere. I am swaddling him, and leaving a flap of material to put under his head so that he does down onto something warm, but to no avail.

Arrrggghhhh

I could cope if it wasn't for DS1, who is getting the rough end of the deal undoubtedly.

MrsW - that sounds like cluster feeding to increase supply, hang in there :) It is awful when your nipples are so sore, definitely worth giving shields a try to see if they can get you over this hump and then you will be away.

x-posts! That is great news, and what brilliant support! You will get there

I'm trying out some slings this week so I can get things done while carrying ds3 around, otherwise nothing will get done around the house (which really frustrates me) and I fear ds2 and I will never leave the house on time or at all without using one!

DS3 seems to fight sleep in the morning even when he's obviously tired. No idea why.

He also has the most horrendous smelling farts . My milk came in on Saturday and he hasn't poo'd since then. My God we are going to cop it when the poo finally does arrive. I can just see that it is going to be a babygro filler and it will happen while we are out and about

Frakk - there's no harm done in pumping and freezing, but remember that pumping will increase your supply even more. It is still early days and your supply will regulate itself eventually.

For those of you pumping, remember not to heat breastmilk in the microwave, put the bottle in a jug of hot water. I managed to have 2 babies before I found out that you shouldn't warm it in the microwave

MrsW - it may be worth asking the breastfeeding lady if she thinks the intial latch pain is a let down pain? Glad to hear things are better

DS3 has taken to bf-ing like a pro and has been the easiest to feed so far, but he will insist on latching on like he's sucking in a piece of spaghetti. In the day I make him wait until he opens his mouth properly, but when I'm half asleep at night the little monkey sucks it in

I know this is only day 6 but I have had enough of the lochia already. I never feel clean and it has that birthy smell about it. Mother Nature really needs to sort that out I think

It's hard to remember the good stuff in the middle of the night. We're doing ok - M always seems unsettled and wants constant feeding in the evening but seems to settleby 11.30ish which is ok by us. She doesn't like to settle after her last feed of the night, probably because it's usually 5-6am and beginning to get light - she must think it's daytime and therefore wants hugs from us rather than going back into the crib. I've taken to snoozing with her in my arms for an hour or so.

I'm a bit concerned about lack of baby poo - I don't think we've had any for 24 hours now, approximately the same time I've been taking antibiotics - is it just co-incidence? Nappies are wet, but usually we have at least a bit of poo each time. She doesn't seem to be upset, so I don't know whether to worry. I think my scar does already seem to be improving, which is good. I'm trying to help the weepy bit dry out by going commando fortunately my lochia didn't last too long.

Time to take M out of the crib and back in the bouncy chair as she doesn't seem to be sleepy afterall

Thanks folks,

MrsW - the bank lady gave the impression that the card was completely blocked and they'd already stopped the fraudulent stuff (although I still need to check it, just in case). So yep, Ali I think the bank's got it sorted. It's just a proper PITA. DH is going to hold my hand while I check online later (only after virus-scan's done it's thing tho!).

And glad things are on the up, MrsW.

F's been asleep for aaages now. Why doesn't he do this at night?! I might wake him up so we can go out for a walk this avo - the swallows are back and seem to be setting up residence in the garages opposite! Brilliant!

Chilli i'm also on antibiotics for an 'oozing wound' (yum) but G is producing poohey nappies still what ab's are you on? mine are flucloxacillin. Not sure if that helps except based on my sample of one the ab's shouldnt make a difference.

What a nightmare about your card petal. Another one here having had a shit-mum sobfest in the middle of the night last night. I just caanot seem to get G to settle at night.. tried to let DP sleep last night as his first day back at work today but gave up at 2.00 and woke him up.. got G to sleep although on his chest which is not ideal either. Still made me feel shit if grateful that he would at least stop crying for DP.

Really dont know what to do about the nights.. get tearful in the evenings just thinking about it and worried about dp's lack of sleep especially as its a new job.

Had a confusing visit from the HV today... G has put on more weight and she thinks i am over feeding him so suggested i give him a dummy sometimes instead of offering boob. she also said to let him cry sometimes to settle himself and not to hold him all the time. I thought when they were little you were meant to bf on demand and it was ok to cuddle them all the time? hes only 15 days old? now i dont know whether to feed him or not when he cries for it!

Ignore the HV, you cannot overfeed a BF baby. Honestly, don't make life harder than it needs to be :)

We are the same at night, T will settle on DH's chest but not with me, he just roots for boob.

Ignore that HV please, she's not a BF-friendly one from the sound of it.

Well M & I went to bed after lunch, lovely - she's still there!
DS2 seems to be over his puking stage, though also had a nap after lunch - he doesn't normally nap so i know he's not quite right.
DS1 had a good day at school yey, so that's him sorted for daytimes & last night is the first night since breaking his leg that he hasn't woken crying.

Been discharged from the MW today :) Though she said to prepare for M having an 'outy' belly button which i find a bit :( as the boys wouldn't care less but if she wants to wear a bikini in the future will she look odd?

Anyone who was using laxatives stopped yet? or still taking them? my hosp supply finished yesterday wondering if i should get some over the counter stuff.

GAH, LOST MY POST.

Lucie - ignore your HV she is talking utter shite. You can't overfeed a bfed baby and to suggest you let a 15 day old cry itself to sleep is shocking imo.

Don't feel a failure if your dp can settle your baby when you can't - it's a good thing, honestly. It helps their bonding and takes the pressure off you. You also shouldn't feel guilty about interupting their sleep. You are BOTH the baby's parents.

I had my first wibble about adding another addition to the family today. For the first time since I was born I got ds2 up from his nap (dh is out for a few hours). Previously ds2 and I would cuddle up on the sofa while he woke up and he'd have a drink and a snack, I loved this time together. Today I realised it would never be quite the same again because most of the time I have I attached to me. I got a bit teary while cuddling ds2, feeding I, and running my hand through ds2's beautiful blonde hair

I'm on the same ab's Lucie so lack of poo may just be co-incidence. I won't worry just yet, thanks.

ILike - am sat here with ds2 on my lap thinking similar thoughts! and tbh it's not comfy as my boobs are tender and there's not a comfy position for him.

ILike - it is bittersweet, isn't it? I'm curled up on the sofa eating apples with DS1 and running my hand through his beautiful blond hair while we watch 'Cars' (his choice!). For once, DS2 is asleep in his basket!

chilli - I took those when DS1 was tiny and they made him poo more!!

Glad others feel the same. Bittersweet is defo the right word. He's not my baby anymore

Have you watched Maters Tall Tales Ali? DS loves it - as do I