Dec 08 - tears, tantrums, giggles and piddles - and that's just the mums!

[traceface]

Or maybe piddling whilst giggling is just me?
It's so sunny here I feel Spring has sprung - where's that daffodil emoticon gone? Had a friend round this morning for a natter and cake - muchos snot and tears but all good. Think I might go for a little bike ride now to blow the cobwebs away.
And no vag - not a chance!
rubs don't you dare spend all your time tweeting - your first loyalty is here!

Hello there!

Just a quick one from me as I am also at work and need to sneak. Arti, I feel your pain. My DDs (4 and 6) give me huge guilters about going to work, which make me feel terrible but not terrible enough to stop. I worked at the weekend (for silly cash) and they don't like it at all, but I have tried to explain to them that they can't have lovely things like holidays, treats, pizza out, nice clothes etc etc if I don't work. They also can't have things like a house or electricity, but I decided not to burden them with that.

I need to work because I like the money but also because I need something other than being at home with the children. I am lucky enough to be able to do my job part time (which I certainly couldn't as a family lawyer in practice) and so I need to keep things ticking over for now in case DH loses his job or we need me to be able to up my earnings for school fees or whatever. We do talk about working mothers and watch programmes like the dire "me too" to show mothers as well as fathers work, but I try to present my work in a positive light. Do many of their friends' mothers work? Remember that you do have long hols in your job so you are around when shcool is off and that you are setting a good example that women can choose to have careers as well as kids. I know that this is hard when they are sad but you are doing it for the best reasons.

Sorry for all the injured people. Deids, have you been eating enough? I had a wobble in Asda last week when I cam over a bit woozy, then realised I had only had a yoghurt and a tin of tuna all day. Please take care and take it easy.

Beans you are too funny. Al fresco pooing indeed. Boo on the nappies though. very naughty.

Right, must do a bit of something. Back later.

Arti: I think the fact that DD1 is talking about you going to work is an excellent sign - she's processing things in her own way. If she were really distressed my guess is that she wouldn't talk about it. The DSs were playing with toy snakes yesterday and DS1's commentary went 'now mummy snake has to go to work and baby snake is sad. Say bye bye and see you this evening.' GUILT.

Beans. That is bloody hysterical, actually I should curse you as I kept laughing which hurts my mouth a lot!

No vag, no faintness at all since. Although I did feel very weak and a bit woozy yesterday. Its the onlytime it has ever happened, although Ihave had the feeling I had when I came to (sweats/diziness) a couple of times over the years. Weird.

Nude modelling? Is it nude trudy? My old manager was married to an artist who once painted her nude, she brought it to work once and showed me. Problem was she was a very, very large woman! Oh hell I didn't know where to look....

Oh Effie missed your post, good luck with the TT. I'm waiting for a man to come and service our boiler but nappies staying firmly on for now.

Nudy Trudy!
Golly, the stomach cramps were all freakin day. Can't understand it. I had the D & no V but awful awful buckle over in pain cramps at about 5 min intervals. Same last time about 2 weeks ago. need to find out if I'm suddenly not agreeing with something I ate. can't be wine as I have that regularly
Beans, you never fail to entertain! I've done that - sure you're not Aussie? What did you wipe with? I remember the first time I met you I didn't expect you to be as posh!
Any chance you can knock down a wall to make a bigger kitchen and open it up? You know what they say, there is NEVER the perfect house unless you b uild it yourself, so maybe you could do something like that if everything else ticks the right boxes.
deids, hope you are feeling better. I'm the queen of fainting, but usually I have tipped off people, so no injuries, except when I was young and waiting for princess Diana at my primary school and got sunstroke, but just landed on grass. And she didn't even stop!! Just remember seeing a flash of a black car fly past.
Jam we have a Wee ride on the front (which is now dd's as ds a bit big) and recently bought ds one for the back of DH's bike which he loves it's THIS one
We just use it for the times we don't take the dog out and we can ride straight from the house then.
Effie good luck with the TT
Lady hope you haven't been swallowed up by mil. When's the housewarming / diy finishing party?

DS has become obsessed with dancing and makes me dance with him whenever his little music drum comes out. He's got some brilliant moves, but I'm shattered. he keeps pulling me up and saying 'dance with me mummy'

Oh no, Vag - not how huge garden is - there was no one in and it was an unofficial visit - we knew they would be out, so we could look round the outside of the house. And my poo was done in some adjacent farmer's land!

Oh my gosh, I missed loads of posts - sorry! Oooh, Effie - good luck with TT. Man it is boring for the first couple of days and, I have to say, despite this morning's successes, DD1 still keen to wee on the floor, which is a pain in the ass. Ho hum.

I do have issues with panic poos and they crop up at the most irritating times! I was once being shown round a really posh school when I was 10 and had to rush to do a poo mid-interview. Was disastrous. I did actually get in and went there, but it was awful and I left after a little while! I should have trusted my bowels and never gone there....

My sister gave us her children's old electric piano at the weekend. I think I may be cursing her before long. It's not allowed in sitting room, so is up in DD1's bedroom. Think that could be a large error...

TT off. House is a plumbing nightmare and we have retreated to asda cafe.

Rubes: the boys are keen on dancing too. New game is to put something like the Nutcracker on and we all leap about being flat-footed ballerinas. Tiring though.

Vag: how is the ankle?

Beans: floor puddling here too. Decided too much with puddles from the defective plumbing plus more from DS2 so pull-ups on for the time being.

That sounds ace. We don't do that much dancing yet. DD1 not very co-ordinated. Has anyone else's DC not mastered jumping yet?

Crikey meant to say sorry about the ankle Vag. Are you getting it looked at? Although I guess nothing can be done really if it's cracked? Shame you might have to pull out of the race.

Blackout blind mission today.

Beans, ds took about 2.3 years to manage more than 5 words but he was jumping in the pool (and now diving) head first months ago funny how they all progress differently. A friend of ours' baby is more than 2 months younger than DD and her DS is already pulling himself up to stand at 7 months. DD doesn't even look close to crawling! Although I didn't think she was close to sitting up and then she did it over night.

Oh yes, they all develop at different rates, I know. I love watching DD1 thinking she's hopping or jumping as she's useless. It's too cute! DD2 trying to pull herself up to standing, but just not strong enough. In the arms or legs. I can't believe she's 1 next month!!!

Both DDs asleep at moment. DD1 doesn't usually nap any more, but we drove back to town last night from inlaws and she was awake all the way, until 9.30 and DD2 was awake, but good as gold in the car on the way down, then screamed from 9-10 when we got home!

Right, finished the ironing and hoovering. on with Jeremy Kyle!

Nudy Trudy LOL! My name isn't actually Trudy otherwise I'm sure I would have heard that a million times by now I'm normally "life" as it's known, but next week for once they want me to wear a dress. They wouldn't want me to do that in January when it's baltic, oh no, wait til it's nice and balmy in May I got into it after university when I couldn't get any proper work. My mother worked at a local adult college (that sounds dodgy!) and tipped me the wink that they were looking for models. Nearly 20 years later I still do it and modelled all through my last pg which was rather nice. It pays fairly well (depends what you're used to I suppose) - £15+ per hour and usually cash in hand so I can stick it straight in the 'violin envelope' and it doesn't touch the household food chain. This new group was nice and the teacher has all sorts of other groups on the go that she was asking me to model for so fingers crossed this could be a rich seam. Had the added advantage of being a gorgeous 20 min drive through the Herefordshire/Shropshire border.

vag the toddler violin group sounds lovely. M is so funny saying "my need to play my violin" - DD's teacher would have heart failure if he saw how M grabs it and saws the bow across but I'm just pleased he wants to be involved. The skids aren't musical so DD had no-one to emulate and I hadn't seen this coming with M. We'll see, I suspect like DD it's a different story when you're doing what someone else wants you to do rather than just tiddling about having fun on your own.

Beans the poo story was hilarious - I'm a bit like that. For some reason I can't go round to my parents' without having to go! When I was pg with DD and we were house-hunting I had to have an al-fresco wee on a quiet country road (tautology, sorry) as I just couldn't hold on. How annoying about the TT but it sounds like DD's just getting on with it anyway. I'm a bit nervous just now as M is asleep in the car without a nappy on, eek. Unsurprisngly he wet the seat the other day like that and it's such a bugger taking the thing apart to wash the cover, but I'd better get used to it I guess

Working from home as I do (apart from the modelling, which is intermittent) I avoid much of the working mother hassle, but I do have to force myself to step away from the laptop and phone when the children are around. In some ways it's even harder to get the work/life balance right when work is always there, calling to you and you know your household income could be affected one way or the other by what you do. No-one ever has it quite right, do they? sybil I try not to drone on about how it pays the bills either but sometimes I do need to draw the connection for DD when she starts up about wanting this or that. She's pretty good though, doesn't ask for much, love her.

Beans DS2 jumps a little too well. The boys physical ability is a source of pride for their father but they have aged me about 10years in the last few years due to their fearless antics.

I'm not sure there is any advantage to going to the GP Rubes, I don't think.there is anything they can do & I couldn't be bothered going to the hospital to get an xray if they refer me for one. I think I just need to rest it. This may be a blessing in disguise, I have been thinking for a while that I should give up the running, esp after your DH said that the off road & treadmill running is just as bad as on the road. I have been looking at open water swimming competitions & cycling races and there are heaps. There is a 2km open water race in Delft in early July which would be nice. So worst comes to worst I'll give up the running and just swim & ride. I would like to do the Paris tri next year though.

Sorry about the plumbing probs Effie, how long will it take to sort out.

Trudy I've been looking up the life modelling online here and there is an international art club here I might email them and see if the need models. Bit of pocket money would be nice & if it would go close to covering DS1&2's classes that would be a big bonus. I would like to send DS2 to a gymnastics group but its quite expensive, if I could get some spare cash I could look at sending him along.

DS2 has been going along to DS1's violin individual & group class as well & has absorbed a lot from that. This little group is perfect as it teaches the proper way to hold the violin & all the rituals that go with violin like the bow, tuning the violin and the playing in a group & group dynamic. It really is so sweet but also such a brilliant thing for him. Both boys love 'playing' together, DS1 plays something on his violin while DS2 stands next to him 'playing' his pretend violin. I think she started the little ones class because she had a lot of OTT parents wanting to start their 2 years old on the violin, and she was constantly dealing with kids who just weren't interested, the class either gets them interested or shows their parents that they arent, without the risk of a broken violin.

beans your outdoor poo is hilarious! did you have to wipe your bum on a dock leaf?! I have terrible nervous wees, as in if I'm doing anything public I get desperate - this makes singing gigs a bit tricky...! I was once giving a paper at a conference in the States when a postgrad, nervous enough as there were only two of us students and the rest eminent historians (well at least well known in the teeny obscure field of the conference!) and I was the second speaker in a session, foolishly had a coffee at the break and then spent the first half of my paper gripping the lectern for dear life and hopping from foot to foot, in the end I had to just say "will you excuse me for a moment?" dashed off then came back. I claimed it was because public speaking made me nauseous - sounds better than weak bladder!!

deids you poor thing, hope the mouth gets better soon and you're able to have coffee again!

jam that seat is intriguing, would agree with vag that the only issue might be reaching round it/having to cycle legs akimbo. We went for the bakfiets and it is fab, both dds love it and my nursery run is soooo much faster and less stressy!

loving the stories of the little violin classes :)

arti, don't feel bad re work, good advice here already and it's good that she can tell you how she feels. S has taken to telling DH "no work trousers! go to work!" unless he changes within seconds of getting home.

small miracle here - I went for a haircut and E stayed asleep the whole time, then woke up and was all smily and charming rather than Screamy McScream! :)

Ladies, something praying on my mind that I have been brave and posted a thread about here here.

I might be mad, but I have no idea what to think or how to handle, if any of you have any experience please help!

Afternoon girls

Proper catch up later but for now I just wanted to say to poor, poor old DB, I am horrified about your fall. How absolutely horrid And no coffee on top of all that! Will look at your thread in a bit.

Arti - more later but very quickly for now - we can NEVER totally please our kids, my love, however often or infrequently we work. I might be here all the time but DD1 would still like more attention - ie she is always wanting me to play or do this activity or that, when I need to get other things done. They have a lovely nanny, you get more hols than most, and you have Fridays off, right? I think they are lucky, honestly. Guilt is the curse of the mother, not just the working mother. Hope you're feeling better.

The Outlaws stayed longer than billed - they left this afternoon. It was irritating but bearable as I wasn't around much of Sat or Sun. MIL's DH had the Sunday Times Rich List to pore over, which kept him really happy and quiet. I gritted my teeth through MIL calling the neighbour's cat 'Pussykins', feet 'feetiekins', kisses 'flutterbies' etc. I know it is completely unfair and hideously unreasonable of me, especially as we probably have stupid names for things, and she is a loving grandmother but 'flutterbies' (which involves lots of nibbly little kisses, which make the sound of a cat licking its bum) just eat my soul. The trouble is, once someone annoys you, I suppose one gets a low tolerance of everything they do. I am such a cow.

Deffo more later.

Oh Deids - that does sound a bit odd, I have to say. By 7 they know that sort of thing is wrong and the fact that... Actually, will carry on on your thread.

JJ - I had babywipes with me, so came away clean. Phew!

Deids: have responded on your thread. I don't think you're overreacting.

Beans PMSL you are truly a legend.

Dieds hmm all a bit odd really just off out but will have a proper read when I get back. But I would say at 7 the defo understand and are very aware of body parts and the right and wrong way to behave regarding private parts.

More later off to the gym. I will have a flat tummy I will I will I will.

Thanks ladies. It's all a bit new territory to me tbh. DH is really mad with DN, thinks he should know better by now etc. SIL is a little relaxed in her parenting (compared to me anyway) and DN can be a handful...I just expected her to call me back at some point and tell me she had dealt with it and DN knew it was acceptable behaviour. But I don't think I'm going to get that from her. Its a shame but their is no way they can play on their own now. I had only just started letting DD play in her room when the first incident happened! Oh who'd be a parent!!

that should be unacceptable!

Well your SIL certainly isn't doing your DN any favours. Poor lad. How is he gong to negotiate his way through this stuff without help from his parents?