Hello 
Don't worry about the incontinece thing, I am generally a little sad for dd1, so perhaps sensitive. Plus we'd literally just had her finish school early and be incontinent due to her problems. She is entirely capable of being incontinent in a pool, or anywhere. I'd hate people to think it was just because, just a thing she did, or I let her, or didn't deal with it.
Her years of constipation mean she often gets little or no warning, and the meds mean soemthimes anyone would struggle to hold it. It flies out as a result of the meds and especially if we have had to hammer her with the meds.
Take this week. She has felt sick, had to come home from school, been incontinent. Poo'd 3 thin long poos everyday. Good, ok, it's working, clearing out.
Then yesterday she went green, ran to loo, and passed a massive massive massive stool. Where can it have come from? She must just carrry this stuff in her all the time, and waht she passes is not the half of it.
It's such hard work.
Anyway. Nights tonight. Heavy heart.
On the happy front, DH has been given a place on the course. He has done so so so so well. Thank you Lenni for your input on the UCAS form. I'm so proud of him, as the selection day was mega and he has had very little training or eductation for something like that. He left school to do an apprenticeship [sp??????] so this is really great for him and his self esteem.
Now just have to think about how we will live, and if he'll ever get the access course grades, and if he'll ever get a job! 
I'm sorry to hear about your dad being so poorly right now HKZ.
I have to dash, tea is ready.