Nobody Loves me, Everybody Hates Me, I Think I'll go and eat Worms

[BibiBelle]

Oh LOTI. Had you told him you were still fainting today? Stick them all in front of the tv and go to bed. I've been in my nightie all day and done v little indeed, just for a mildish (but longlasting) migraine!

Tomorrow don't forget to be totally honest with the GP, no holding back anything you don't think is that important, no thinking you're wasting his time, no thinking you're not important enough to merit treatment. Remember this is The Lucky Show, you are the star of your own life and you are irreplaceable.

Silks u are making me cry! I am an emotional wreck today! Dh knows about the fainting he is just being a grump!

Will tell docs everything cos I am so at the end if my tether about my rubbish health!

Dd2 exhausted so dh putting her to bed and dd1 on quiet time...

Know I shouldn't but gonna have a glass of wine tonight to calm me down!!

Hope your migrant clears up silks and thanks

Migrant? migrane! Damn iPhone

oh loti, silks is right. you do give the impression of being super woman but you need to remember you're not indestructible

Agree you must be 100 pc honest with doc, I'd go further and say Lay It On Thick because you'll think you're being honest and you will not be being, if you see what I mean. So go in thinking "They said I was to Lay It On Thick". Silk is right - this is all about you.

Fainting is extremely dangerous - apart from underlying causes it could happen when you are driving / changing a nappy / in the bath and everyone has to take it seriously. I would have been pissed off if I'd been ill and got up early and entertained everyone and made a special meal and dp didn't row in behind me.

I had a great walk today with the dogs and ds2, he did brilliant climbing up a (small) mountain and we ascended the summit in blustery glory and he was rightly proud of himself for walking/climbing all the way.

That was my only high point (literally and fig.) today as I have a rotten flu with bodyache, headache, vile cough, vile temper, etc etc, and am total joy to live with...

Red I'd be interested in dropbox, I think, is it better than / different from the Mac service & is there a fee?

Oh holy crap, I have just had the conversation I have been dreading with my beautiful, tiny 7yr old. She just told me her tummy is fat and (with some questionning / friendly calm chatting) she'd rather die than be fat, that the only way to get rid of it is to be sick because she can't do poos.
What do I do? What do I do? I bloody knew this was going to happen, she's such a flippin perfectionist. Trying to stay calm as she's stil up (getting a drink - probably because I pointed out that food also comes out through wee.)

Evening

Had a lovely afternoon at lovely friends house (we met each other pacing the corridors and crying with our DC1's in the ma ternity hozzie). DC's played together beautifully and ate all their tea and we supped a couple of glasses of vino. Perfick

LOTI i agree with Ursula. Fainting is v serious and although may be solved through increasing iron. Do NOT be fobbed off. I also have to say that 'H' sounds like his 'D' stripes are slipping again . Please, please don't let him get away with it. A lie in and a meal cooked and all day out y'day, he should be treating you like a princess, not a doormat. I know you are too ill to want a row, but please, please let him know that this is not acceptable. {{{Big hugs brave lady}}}} and please take care. xxxx

star I would second, third and fourth getting professional packers in. I think on a couple of threads on here that i have said it was the BEST thing i have ever spent money on, and that was pre-dc. If there is any way you can save, beg, borrow or steal the money then do.

merlion i am sure your mum is just v v excited. I agree that girls clothes are so cute and she will know she can take them back if DS2 were to be confirmed. I'll bet she is willing everything in her power that the scan is fine and going with positive thinking and planning for the new grandchild with some frivolous purchases. She would be mortified if she thought she had offended you I am sure

Sorry to hear of some best laid plans being blown off course by the weather, but hot chocs & marshmallows sound fab. Well done on making it out when feeling crap Urs

Oh silks . I really really don't know what to suggest . Could you go down the route of saying she needs to eat good stuff and walk to school and her body will work it all out just fine? DD1 said she was going to make herself sick if she had to do the nativity play - i honestly don't know where she got it from, but maybe it is one thing they think they can do/control? Is she under a paed with medication for the pooing probs?

Silks - if you want me to tomorrow i will speak with my neighbours to see if they have any immediate ideas on good responses/ways to help. They are both child psy chotherapists so may have seen similar and have some good tactics? PM or FB me if you want. xx

Oh Crisp yes please. Have just had a quick cry/chat to DH about it (he's off to play a gig) and plan is for him to subtly bring up the subject with her sometime this week and my job is not to leap on anything she says that might be connected.

I know it's pretty much the topic on any junior school girl's lips these days so trying not to overreact but she so fits the profile. I've always been so careful not to make weight an issue, we don't even have scales in the house. We do battle about food because she doesn't eat enough fruit/veg/fluids and it makes her poo a problem, yet she won't eat anything that is less than perfectly delicious in her opinion.

i've no wise words silks but just wanted you to know i'm thinking of you. i've only had experience of someone a bit older suffering from anor exia, but happy to share what i can if it'll help

Oh feck it, Silks. How awful.

I'd say that keeping calm and letting dh talk to her about it is defo the thing for now. If she gets a big reaction then it gives the signal that this is a good way of getting and maintaining attention (I'm not saying that that's what she's doing, but it doesn't get to be that aswell if you see what I mean).

Then, I'd get on to your GP privately and mention your concerns. And chat to people who've been through this kind of thing on here.

All you can do is be there, offer food and keep calm in front of her though that must be horrendously difficult. I wonder are there any books for younger children about body image so that you could offer other ways of looking at her body in a week or so.

I think I'd be straight on to her teacher too, just so you have her views and insights on the issue too.

You have been so aware of all of these issues, and you've done everything you can to manage them carefully with her.

Is there a pet she's fond of, or a pet she could be given responsibility for feeding for a while so she starts to think about food in a way that gives her control but makes her think about it in a different way.

Sorry, these are ramblings off the top of my head. We're here to back you up, no matter what.

Bloody great idea Red. Yep there is a much neglected guinea pig that I was thinking of farming out to my mum, so rubbish am I at keeping pets. Guess that would be a definite no no! Will clean her out tomorrow and sign over the keys as it were to DD.

Have been thinking of seeing GP for a year or so about her anxiety, wasn't sure how to express it/whether I'd be told to piss off.

Thanks guys.

Silks, i know someone else on MN who has a DD who has pooing issues and anxiety issues. I think she is going through an assessment atm - maybe i could hook you two up?

Silks ((((hugs)))) You are such a good mom. The fact that you are on the case means the world. Positive vibes coming your way.

You aren't alone with daughter troubles. Mine's up to new tricks this weekend and I am utterly exhausted. Is it the age or is it something else? Do I consider medications to help or do I keep trudging on with trial after trial? I fear the teen years? I've never known the life of a 6/7yrold could be so stressful.

I'll go and sort my mind. This weekend has being trying on so many levels. Promise to return when I can offer smiles and a good source of positive energy.

Silky I don't know what to say; like hipps, I have only had experience of older friends with food issues, and seem to be immune to them myself She sounds like such a highly strung little girl from all your posts, very smart, very anxious, with impossibly high standards for herself...which I can relate to.

My guess is that if it wasn't this particular control issue, it would be something else - do you know if her friends are fomenting it amongst themselves, and if so, might it be worth having a chat with their mums (if you are on friendly terms with them)? Just to sound each other out and see if more heads can come up with any useful strategies.

Otherwise, is there anyone she particularly looks up to, sleb or otherwise? I'm thinking sportsperson, musician, teacher, one of your friends, anyone who does something that she's interested in and has a reasonably healthy appearance. You could use it as a way to engage her in conversation about how food and nutrition play a part in keeping ourselves running at maximum efficiency and how they help people to achieve amazing things. Although, if she's as smart as she seems, she'll probably have a counter argument up and running before you can blink [rueful lol].

Apologies if this is a load of dry horse shit, it's the classic 'feel compelled to help a friend even though you are clueless' syndrome xx

TS hope you find some time for yourself, I know you've had a knock this weekend. Be kind to yourself lovey xx

Absolutely no advice from me, I seem to make it up as I go along and don't really have a clue what I'm doing, but thinking of you both Silky and TS

On a completely unrelated note before I go to bed, I made this delicious lasagne for tea tonight and can highly recommend it. DS touched none of it, of course but he was massively overtired and still complaining of 'sore tum' intermittently, so.

He's still cracking me up though...can't remember if I mentioned this before but he has randomly developed a strong Northern accent on the phrase 'come back', so our days are peppered with 'coomb bach cat' or coomb bach train' Makes me pmsl. He has also got a taste for drinking tea, and has started asking for 'a piece of tea' from my cup in the mornings.

Hey all, just popping in quickly as very tired. Went to friend's for a free photoshoot of Evelyn, was lovely but standing up for the family shot has buggered my hips up again so in a lot of pain all over a bloody gain. Arse. Don't know how I'm going to manage if I'm not mobile by Thursday!

silks :( no advice here I'm afraid :(

loti :( Pity you can't engineer to actually faint in front of 'd'H. Would that scare him into actually taking care of you for a change? My DP has his flaws, and being understanding/sympathetic is not one of his strong points, but he has been taking bloody good care of me in my immobile state and reminding me not to overstretch myself. Pity your H isn't doing that for you - you deserve it!

silks how sad. Just wondering (with my pop-psychology probably not correct but well here goes anyway hat on)

Do you think that the issue could actually all be related to the constipation and not really to the body image

"I can't poo"
"where will the food go"
"it will make me fat because it can't get out"
"I will have to throw it up again"

kind of thing.

rather than "I'm fat" "I need to throw up"

probably wrong, but just a thought.

Also, I would suggest GP definitely. It's really common in children - you could tell that to your DD as well - about 30% of children get constipated. A good GP should be able to be quite good with your DD.

Also maybe tell your GP that you have been trying the diet fluid thing for ages already without success, otherwise you might just get diet advice.

Feel free to ignore, am probably talking rubbish here.

Merlion are you really worried about the scan? Thinking of you too - I hope that you will be able to relax and enjoy the pregnancy a bit too. Is work still really stressful?

Love to all

Silky I've had a moment to think. Could you have her begin taking a probiotic every other day for a few weeks and possibly peppermint tea at night. Both help me so very much when dealing with con stip ation. Having dealt with the plumbing issue on and off for ages I can say that when clogged up I feel more depressed/irritable.

Thinking about yours gave me an idea for mine. I have forced offered DD1 chamom ile tea. She wore half of it being silly. She was off the wall when I attempted to make her drink it. Now she's tucked into bed with less of a fight. I'd say that's a plus for the tea. Hopefully tomorrow night will be less of a struggle.

R is going round acting like a cat MEEEEOOOWWW! Too cute!!

silks TS has a good point there.. being clogged up does lead to me being really miserable too
And i concur with salta as well, perhaps it is more that she doesn't know where the food will go because she's not pooing

TS T can often be found crawling round whilst meeowing..they're obviously made for each other! He told me the other day that R is his friend

better go, mil's apron isn't finished yet and i've got to post it today!

Oh silks I wish I could offer some words of advice but everyone here has given anything I would say. Massive hugs that you and your gorgeous dd get it sorted quickly without too much trouble or heart ache [hug]

TS hope dd1 slept peaceful and peace has been restored. You need a little time out on your on girl [hug]

sorry you are still in so much pain qod hope it eases by thurs...

Went to the docs today and she basically implied I was faking it as I haven't fainted in front of an adult not anemic but may have low vit b12 which wouldn't explain the fainting. Basically sent away with more anti sickness tabs to go for another blood test nxt week and see her the following week.

B***ks onwards and upwards!

That's just shit loti, I would go back and see another gp? Don't be fobbed off, can you write down every time you have fainted over the last week or so? Make a note of what you were doing immediately beforehand, and take that in as evidence - they have to take you seriously!!

silks having suffered with bul imia for 10 years, I'm probably not the best person to help, because my issues were due to being psy chologically fucked up by my bro. For me it was very much a control thing, because I couldn't control the psy chological pain. I agree with what the clever lasses on here say, it may well be related to bowel issues. I'm interested to hear crispy's neighbours thoughts on it though.

On a positive note, Feb 8th marks 10 years since I told dh I was bul imic and started to get well

star we only moved locally and it didn't affect the boys school/nursery. We were packing for about 2 weeks before, ds1 was 5 two days after we moved, and he 'helped' with the packing. Good idea to get someone to pack for you though!