Dec 2007 - Little People, Large Strops

[strandedatseasonsgreetings]

Will this do everyone?

Ok sorry me again will try and write properly!
I am off tomorrow on my writer's retreat. Am terrified. I feel I have so much expectation of myself that I can only fail. Even though all I am doing is planning at this stage. I want to write a book about how to be a trailing spouse as I think there are a lot of people out there (mostly women but also some men) who go off on a posting with their other half's and have no idea what to expect. I would draw on my own experiences, plus my mother's experience's, possibly also my (deceased) granny's experiences from the 1940's and then the experiences of as many friends, friends of friends etc as I could muster. Anyway the plan this (long) weekend is to plan it out and see if I can put something together to send to publishers. I might also have another look at my novel - I left one poor heroine stuck in the boot of a car and the other at the peril of drug dealers in London.
As well as the general fear of "failure" I am also terrified of leaving the dd's for so long (4 nights), twice as long as I have ever left them before. They will be with dh but I am worried he won't cope.
Anyway, suffice to say I am also very excited and I think once I am there will love it. Especially having someone else do all the cooking and clearing up for me for four whole days, plus four uninterrupted night's sleep...
Clairey - very excited about your date, I hope it went well yesterday (was it romantic?) I must have a nosy on your FB.
BT - happy to stay here or do FB, I use FB more but generally write less as am often on my phone.
Good to hear how all the dc's are coming on. Martha can write her name, her sister's name and a few other random words, knows all her letters but doesn't seem to understand how to put them together into words. She's also finally started getting into wii which will be nice when she and her sister can play together...
She's really ready for school though - she keeps putting on her school uniform, she even wanted to wear it to preschool. She also has a total crush on a little boy at preschool who will start at her school with her, so interesting to see how that develops.
Skid - good luck with ds's assessment, I hope you get some answers and help if necessary!

If it makes it easier will stay here. We do nosy on FB now and again :D

FO - if there is no spark, there is no spark. Hopefully you will get a good friend out of it!

Stranded - good luck on your writer's retreat hopefully it will get your creative juices flowing!

Skidd - Yey for your DS, I bet you will find his language comes on in leaps and bounds over the next couple of months!

Hmm I am still dithering and undecided. I think I do kind of fancy him, just am not bowled over by his looks. Someone has a thread in relationships which pretty much sums up how I feel. And also good to know I'm not the only one! Saw him friday night and had a great evening with him, was meant to be seeing him ths afternoon but preschool asked me last minute if I could work so I had to cancel him. Was disappointed not to be seeing him which is a good sign right?? And he was non stressy/guilt trippy and very nice about me having to cancel which gave him another tick. Am seeing him weds and again over the weekend so will see how those dates go I guess

Clara hope the retreat has gone well, I actually lol-ed at reading where you'd left your heroines The other book sounds really interesting as well, will it be more of a guide or fact based fiction? It's hard the first time leaving the dc for any length of time but I'm pretty used to it now with them going to exh's. Hope yours have been ok without you.

Can you all give me opinion on a dress? thread here

Clairey I agree that it is a pretty dress. Like you I've never been a big orange fan - but think that was largely due to growing up in the 1970s! Is there some way to break up the orange - perhaps a bolero top or something?

Thanks buzzy, I do like it, just a bit scared by the colour!

Things hotted up a little with the boy last night, good snogging session and a bit of dry humping. He said he was happy for it to go at my pace and didn't want me to feel pressured. Am so not used to such gentlemanly behaviour, it's nice but part of me finds it less attractive than if he'd just gone for it - and THAT is why I normally end up with bastards!! The things I am learning about myself recently!!

Clara how was the retreat?

clairey just snorted my coffee out through my noise after reading that!! Good to take it slow and also good that you wishes he hadn't - surely must mean you fancy him?

I think the dress is lovely btw

clara - love the idea for your 'trailing spouse' book - I bet that would sell - how was the retreat

DS2's language has increased exponentially in the last week or so - it's so amazing how they seem to be making such slow progress and then suddenly they're off! I reckon he sounds like a pretty typical nearly 2 yr old now. Makes me glad I do research into language development - it is endlessly fascinating!

The dress is lovely FO, very flattering.
Skidd - yey for DS2, you won't be able to shut him up!

I think DD is about to cut her first toofypeg!

wow BT! How old is she now?

oops posted too early, was going to say DD has her first wobbly tooth which I ma finding very exciting! (anyone know what the current rate is with the tooth fairy? I'm thinking a pound?)

DS1 has his first party today and the mum has said can I drop off as the venue is a bit small for additional siblings. He says that's fine but I know he will just wander around like a lost soul and no-one will play with him - I guess I just have to bite the bullet and see? Maybe he will be OK...

Ah hard one skid, hopefully he'll be ok. I've been working at preschool a bit and there is a little boy there who reminds me of your ds1 from what you've said about him. The other children talk to him and are happy to play with him but unless he is given an activity by the staff or put with a group of children he just kind of wanders around.

Bet dd is excited about her tooth, dd is desperate to get a wobbly one but none so far. I've tried explaining to her that it's a good thing to lose them a bit later but she feels left out as all her friends have gaps. I think they all get a pound, I was hoping to get away with 20p like I used to get!

BT has she been suffering with teething or has it been ok? I seem to remember it leading to a lot of broken nights!

Going out on proper date with the boy tonight

Ooh, are you planning on DTD?

Yes that little boy sounds like my DS - at least the other children are nice to them (so-far) - poor little things - life must be so bewildering for them

Is that true about it being good for teeth to come in late then? I thought it was an old wives' tale - what is the reason behind it? I have also been telling DD that as all her friends have had about 4 come through and she is one of the oldest in the class - didn't know it was true though!!

Enjoy tonight (you sound excited)

maybe... (I am ovulating so the hormones are ripe!)

It will be good to actually go somewhere with him as the last 3 dates have been at my house, which has been very nice and all that but it's a bit early to settle into a sofa routine.

I think it is only true in as much as the adult teeth will be in the mouth less time so will have less exposure to sugar etc-they won't actually be any stronger. Does that make sense?

DC3 due around October then?

Well I guess that makes sense about teeth but surely 6 months or a year in a whole lifetime can't make too much of a difference?

Where is clara? I want to hear about the retreat!

I will be careful!!!!

I want to hear about it too, cllllllllllaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

Back from my 19 hour long date...

Went out for a really nice dinner, then for a drink, then back to his house. Watched a bit of tv, he asked if I wanted to stay over, I said yes DTD, went to sleep, woke up in middle of night when his bathroom shelf fell down, DTD, went to sleep... He brought me a cup of tea in bed this morning Came to my house to feed cats and so I could get changed, had some breakfast, went to clifton downs for a walk then for a drink on terrace looking over the suspension bridge, came home, DTD...

Skid I think you cursed me though as had condom fail so had to face the shame of going to get the MAP. Shitting myself massively slightly, everyone please cross everything that it works and that skid's prediction of october baby is not correct!

thinking you do fancy him then?

Don't worry - MAP is pretty reliable...

oh and slightly of your young, decadent lifestyle

I do indeed. Definitely a grower and very glad I gave him a chance!

Don't be too it's usually very boring!

FO ' He brought me a cup of tea in bed this morning'
Marry him. He sounds fab!

DD is nearly 9 mths! This dratted toofy is taking ages, still not come through!

DS had his first trip to the dentist on Tuesday Luckily his teeth are lovely :D
Wish mine were, I need a filling and 2 extractions

ow BT poor you

9 months, wow - time for another?

DS2 is 2 tomorrow, can't say I have a baby anymore [sob] although I was telling him he was going to be a big boy now, and he said, "No, MackMoo baba, MackMoo no boy" - so maybe he will collude with me in my fantasy that he will remain a baby forever

at marry him! It was a good cup of tea though! I think he's kind of my boyfriend now...we haven't actually said as much but neither of us is dating anyone else, we see each other a couple of times a week, he texts me every day and to say goodnight every night, he's told his friends and sisters about me and has mentioned me meeting them etc etc etc. All positive signs right?

Nooooo at ds2 being 2 Skid! He can't be! Glad he likes his baby status though And awwww at MackMooo!

BT don't worry, my two only went for the first time in december or something

It does sound like you have something there FO.
Are you happy? Because that is the main thing. Also, would you be happy for him to meet the DCs - it is probably early days yet but if you are thinking to yourself that you feel confident about him meeting them, then that suggests that perhaps things could be moving in a positive direction for you? IYSWIM?

Skidd - DD is my forever baby :D

bt, ds is mine too, although it occurred to me last night that he is now the same age as dd was when she started school She seemed so much older and grown up than he does!

Obviously early days but yes I'm happy, so far it's all been very easy and non angsty, no mixed signals etc etc. We spoke the other day about him meeting the kids, I said it was too soon and he agreed and said he didn't want to rush it and was happy to keep things as they were for now. I'd have no worries about him meeting them though, just want to avoid bringing a stream of men into their lives.

Fab Clairey!

Bad news here. DD1's Nana (ex-H's mother) has been diagnosed with terminal liver cancer. Poor DD1 has had to cope with so much over the last 2 years ... I haven't told her yet. Would you wait until we have more knowledge about how much time she has left to tell her? Or does she deserve to know now. I just don't know what's best to do. Ex-H won't tell her I don't think. He'll be in shock himself anyway. I was told by his sister.

Faint positive on a test this morning. The test is nearly 2years out of date and I'm spotting, but still I'm pretty sure a positive is a positive. Feel like crying. If I was an idiot who hadn't used protection I'd say I deserved it, but we used condoms AND I took the map, and I still get a bloody positive. My friend has another test she is bringing me this afternoon, but I think the result will be the same. Have a drs appointment booked for next week to sort out contraception but I guess I'll be discussing abortion instead . Never thought I'd consider it but now I'm here it feels like the only option. I do want more children, but not like this, I want to do it right if I do it again. Fuck.

Sorry about dd1's nana buzzy I don't know what I'd do...do you think dd would cope better if she'd had time to prepare herself or would she fret and worry too much? She's kind of at that difficult age too (especially being so bright) where she's not a little girl anymore but still too young to process stuff in an adult way.