Dec 2007 - Little People, Large Strops

[strandedatseasonsgreetings]

Will this do everyone?

Oh thanks goodness clairey - that sounds so much better

Thanks for asking Clairey, I'm impressed you remembered! Her father skyped this morning and told her. And he even emailed me back to tell me he was going to do this and gave me his home phone number so that she can call him if she wants. So actually feeling like he's behaving a bit more maturely than I had expected. I sat on the stairs and listened too (slightly ) and I thought he told her quite sensitively. She was naturally very upset but I think has coped well today. I've made arrangements to take DD up to visit her at Easter which helped I think. Naturally she wanted to know how long she'll live and I don't have that answer. But having done a brief Google there's only a 5% survival rate beyond 1 year so I'm trying to manage expectations.

Very glad to hear there's a more sensible route for you to follow.

buzzy - oh thank goodness he has done it sensitively and that he has done it himself. How has she been over the weekend? Sometimes these things take a while to hit home.

How are you feeling today clairey?

Buzzy sounds as though he has actually handled telling her quite well. Glad she is going to get to see her at Easter.

Skid am ok, just playing the waiting game. I'm finding it easier than I thought I would tbh, I think it doesn't really feel real. Weirdly all symptoms have disappeared since Friday which also makes it easier to not think about it. On Saturday night bf came over and we were dtd, looked down and there was quite a bit of blood which freaked us both out a bit, it stopped within an hour though. But today I am spotting again. So could possibly be a mc? Or just random bleeding.

How are you FO? It could be implantation bleed or the start of a m/c. Just keep an eye on things.

Buzzy - sounds like x handled things ok, thank goodness. {{{hugs}}} to your DD1, she has had to grow up so fast with everything that has happened in the last couple of years

Clairey if you do feel symptom free then maybe you have MC? But even if you think you have you should continue to have your appointments etc. Glad to hear things still going well with BF though

DD1 still seems to be OK. Sadly I think she last learned some "skills" in the last two years to manage her feelings about things like this. The other day she told me that she used to deliberately cry in her bed at exH's house in an attempt to make him change his mind about moving to the UK. Poor little mite, she has had to cope with a lot as you say BT.

skidd have you had your paed appointment yet? I think you were going to push for a full assessment?

Gosh yes it does sound like it could be a MC - have you had any more bleeding? How are you doing?

buzzy at DD1 crying in her bed to try and make him change his mind - that is so heartbreaking. She sounds very resilient though and sounds like she has taken the latest bad news really well

Thanks for asking about DS1 - he had his assessment a couple of weeks ago and the paed was quite patronsing/annoying - and even suggested attachment disorder as a possible explanation . She thought he was borderline and didn't know if he'd meet criteria for ASD so fobbed us off on a psychologist, telling us the appt would be soon and then the psych could decide if he should be assessed. The appt then turned out to be in September so we were pretty pissed off. However, out of the blue yesterday we got a letter from her saying she's reconsidered and that he should have a full assessment asap - no idea what changed her mind but that is good news - hopefully we will get some answers soon.

Oh how annoying skid, glad she rethought though. Maybe she was having a bad day! Let us know what they say following the assessment.

for your dd buzzy, my two have certainly learnt a few tricks too (luckily for me they punish exh more than me eg crying when they leave me and ignoring exh and refusing to say bye when he brings them back)

So the bf is taking me on a lovely day out on my birthday...to the clinic Have the first appointment on the 2nd, where they scan me and give me a tablet to stop it developing further, then go back on the 4th to have a pessary which will make me miscarry within a few hours.

clairey how horrible. At least you know when it is happening now - that's the beginning of the holidays, isn't it? Can XH look after the DC? I'm so glad your BF is being so supportive - he sounds really lovely.

How are you feeling about it? Have you had any more bleeding?

Yeah he is, he's staying really calm about it all which helps me, but not in an uncaring way, he's always asking how I am, if I'm feeling ok etc. He said he's going to try to make it as nice a day as possible for me, get some films for us to watch, make me lots of cups of tea and bring me chocolate and drugs. We might have lunch somewhere but it depends how quickly it comes on and how bad it is.

In other news I saw the wc in the park the otehr day and went and saw his new house and had a cup of tea with him...and he is now telling me he is in love with me and wants us to be together Said it was always me he had wanted but he was too scared of losing his home and disrupting his kids again so had been a coward. I told him he was too late. You'd have been proud of me

Oh xh says he cant have dc at all in holidays as is being made redundant so can't have time off. My friend is having them on the weds but I need to sort someone out for the mon morning...not sure who yet.

Have had a tiny bit of spotting and some pinkish discharge but that's it, the nurse I spoke to yesterday said it all sounds normal and apparently lots of people have spotting in the first few weeks.

at WC!!! Ha ha how satisfying for you - I 'm sure you were just the right mix of pleasant and smug

Your new BF sounds sooo much nicer - that is so sweet that he is going to try and make it as nice a day as he can, you got a good 'un there. Does the friend that's looking after them on Wed know why? Will she have them overnight? It would be good not to have to go through it all and have them to worry about too - and then BF could stay over? Hope you get it sorted - you sound much more chipper (is that a word?)

Yep your new man definitely sounds like a keeper, he is handling things really well, so glad he is being there for you.
and at wc, he has got some fecking nerve! Well done you in putting him in his place!!

BTW DD is crawling!

yaaay for DD BT ... although that's the end of nice relaxing cups of tea while she stays just where you put her

How are you clairey?

What has happened to clara? She probably assisting a birth as we speak...

Does anyone else's DC have a ridiculous very individual way of dressing? DS1 insists on wearing: 2 pairs of pants (I draw the line at 3), trousers back to front, floral/pink/"girlie" top on backwards with t-shirt on top, odd socks - he also likes to accessorise with a few hair clips/necklace/hairband - now what on earth is that about ??

Hey skid, yep am fine thanks. Have had a few wobbles, like when I was stupid enough to google pics of foetal development to see what stage it was at... Still spotting, but it's hardly anything so don't think it's a mc. Not many symptoms now but am crying at everything!

bf still being lovely He has admitted he doesn't fully understand why I'm upset about it, to him it's quite black and white-we didn't plan it, we didn't want it and this is the solution - but he appreciates that I am struggling a bit and listens to me when I explain why it's not that simple for me. I don't think he'll ever feel anything about it like I do but he has taken on board that I do and is being supportive and keeps saying he's sorry I'm having to go through it.

My friend that is having them on weds knows, and has said she can either have them overnight or take them home and put them to bed for me, she's been great. My one other local friend that knows hasn't offered any help at all, even when I told her when the appointments were etc. Bit disappointed I suppose, although she had no obligation to so I shouldn't be.

BT wow can't believe dd is crawling already!

Skid dd puts together some weird outfits, lots of layers and clashing patterns. DS went through a stage of wearing skirts and dresses, jewellery, hairclips etc but now tells me they are for girls. Am a little bit gutted but at least he still loves pink.

I suppose it is easier to detach from if you haven't had any DC. It's good you can both be so honest with each other. I think I would be as nervous about admitting that I didn't feel anything as that I did. at you googling pics - please don't do that again, of course it will upset you. And of course you will be wobbly, it is a big deal. Sorry to hear your other friend has not been very supportive but good you have one at least. FWIW I think you are dealing with this brilliantly.

Re outfits, DD likes to clash as well but DS1 is another league altogether. Yesterday he went out dressed in an upsy daisy outfit which was age 2-3 so skintight and way too short. He obviously thinks he looks the bees knees though ("Mummy do you like my style?" "Mummy do you like my funky outfit?") so got to go with it... (and yes agree that boys in pink are brill )

at 'do you like my style', he sounds awesome!

And yes I agree it must be easier if you don't have dc, but also he's a man, he's not the one that's pregnant, his body isn't changing (and my god am I piling on the weight this time!), he doesn't actually have to have the termination etc so it must be quite easy for him to forget about it a lot of the time and just carry on as normal. I can't blame him for that.

Yeah, I was going to say what Skidd said, it is just because he is a man he can detach from it more because he is been affected physically and emotionally. And stop Googling
At least you have one RL friend being supportive. It maybe your other friend has other things going on atm.

You are coping amazingly Clairey! I'm in awe I must admit. Having been through something a little similar.

Proud Mummy here. DD1 came third in her year at school swimming sports today backstroke final. She thinks that means she goes on to compete in the regional swimming sports. Either way its a great achievement for her and is a really positive outcome from having dyspraxia - swimming (and horeseriding) are very therapeutic which is why she does them both. Just goes to show you can take something up for one reason and get so much more from the experience.

wow that's amazing buzzy, well done to DD1 , you must be extra proud having seen her struggle with her dyspraxia, and with everything she's been through with her dad, hurray for Izzy!

Yes I agree that not going through it physically must make a huge difference and you are very nice and mature not to get annoyed by that - don't think I can claim the same

DS1 says 'do you like my style?' while he does a little shimmy and a (very camp) hair flick - he's currently growing his hair to be like Cinderella - if that boy doesn't turn out to be gay I will eat his (pink sparkley) hat

skid, love him!

People always say I cope well with stuff...I'm not sure I do particularly but you've just got to get on with life haven't you. I sometimes worry I may be due a massive breakdown one day where all the stuff I've "coped" with comes pouring out . But I let quite a bit out on here I think, more than irl because I don't want to be one of those people people dread talking to because they're always going on about some problem or other.

Skid I've had a couple of moments of annoyance but have managed to keep them mostly to myself, logically I know it's not his fault.

Ooh and well done dd1 buzzy, that's an amazing achievement

OMG I'm so sorry I haven't been on here for AAAAGGGGEEEESSS and have missed so much!
First of all, wow, Clairey I am so sorry , what a horrible difficult time you have been going through athough I am really glad your new bf is being so supportive. As someone else said, hopefully this will bring you closer together as a couple. I have often thought how glad I am that dh has had the snip as I really don't know what I would do if I got pregnant again now (and that's being in a long term steady relationship, let alone just got together with someone). You sound like you are coping magnificantly, I hope everything goes as well as possible for you x
Buzzy - sorry to hear about your dd's gran, although big well done to her on her swimming, that must be lovely for you both!
Skid - how annoying about the assessment for ds1, good that she re-thought it though and I hope you get some sensible answers. You need it before he starts school (anyone else crapping themselves that they start school so soon btw?)
BT - your dd is so grown up already! Where has the time gone?

The retreat was brilliant, I felt like I got so much done but it's all had to be put on hold since I got back as have so much course work to do (hence why I never seem to get onto MN these days...). I have an assignment and an exam to study for, both in May, after which I need to start preparing to teach as my first course (which I will teach as a student) is in October. I'm still really enjoying it but am panicking a bit about how much I have to get done and how little time I have.

Otherwise, dh and I are having a two-night "mini break" in Cardiff next week thurs-sat, which will mostly involve eating and drinking I reckon. Then it's countdown to our holiday in Florida at the end of May....

Right, will def try and check in here more often. Off now to research Group B Strep for my assignment. Does anyone know anyone who has had it during pregnancy?
x