Dec 2007 - Little People, Large Strops

[strandedatseasonsgreetings]

Will this do everyone?

How is DD1 buzzy? Hope it went OK and it wasn't too wierd for her. Bet you are happy to have her back!

[hands over ears about DC who can read and write] BT don't worry my DS1 can't recognise letters, write anything, read or even draw a person so your DS is definitely not behind mine (but then again mine is being assessed for ASD so maybe not the best benchmark!). He can recognise his name and is pretty good with (very) simple sums though (and is almost unbearably beautiful )

DD1 is in amzingly good form! I'm incredibly relieved - realise now I'd convinced myself all sorts of bad things. Has come home wanting to find ways to earn money to buy herself a laptop - so I'm shamelessly exploiting this by suggesting that I'll substantially raise he pocket money when she turns 10 in April (from $5 to $25) if she can demonstrate to me that she is responsible enough to be trusted to spend that sort of money wisely. Tonight she helped make dinner, filled dishwasher, filled bath for DD2 - last night she washed and vacuumed the car!

Skidd and BT, DD2 also can not draw to save herself (people are a blob with 2 sticks) can only write the letter "B" (badly) and in fact is challenged in most areas where visualisation skills are required (hence the interest in phonics I think since the "whole word recognition" approach to learning to read is not going to fly with her). I think they all advance at their own pace in different aspects. Funnily enough DD1 is extremely visual so I'm having to learn a whole new approach to understanding how DD2 thinks which is challenging me.

How is the ASD assessment process going Skidd? How are you feeling about it all?

Oh god ds can't read!!!! Didn't mean to give that idea! he can recognise a few words and spell a few (his name dd's and the cats' names) and can sound out a few words eg cat dog etc but only when he wants to, the rest of the time he claims not to know his letters let alone their sounds. And that may have been a freak thing like his bike riding that he managed once and never since! Has no interest in drawing but can colour really neatly if he's in the mood, otherwise just scribbles. Have no idea about letters, he's written his name quite neatly once or twice but it's usually indecipherable. I think he likes to keep his talents hidden!

WEnt on a date this morning, he was really nice and easy to talk to, not sure I fancied him but has potential to grow on me if he's as nice as he seemed. I didn't find him unattractive anyway. He would like to see me again so watch this space...

Buzzy ds likes to make the beds and hoover so I exploit this by giving him 2p's when he does for us to play the slot machines on the pier Win win for me currently but I should imagine 10 year olds drive a harder bargain! Great that she wants to save up for something herself too

That's a relief - my DS is the same as yours, Freaky, wrt to drawing skills. He has drawn a face a couple of times but never when I have asked him to, he prefers to colour in.

Oh that's brilliant DD1 has come back so happy - what was her dad doing in Sydney anyway? Just back for a visit? Cannot wait until mine are old enough to do chores

clairey - well I didn't think he could actually properly read! But what you describe is reading, just at a very early stage, no?

How exciting about your date - who is he? Tell us more. Like the sound of a morning date - I guess that is just when you're childfree?

Buzzy - thanks for asking - appointment with paeditrician is next month so we are going to push for a full asessment - although who knows if they will comply...

helllloooooo anybody there?

Hello Skid, don't worry, haven't abandoned you!

Had a fab weekend away with uni friends, although both dc massively played up on sat eve and alternately whinged at me or tantrummed They are so totally not normally like that that I didn't really know how to deal with it and ended up demonstrating some very poor parenting skills (eg snatching dd's pencils off her when she hit me with one and berating them across the table for playing up when really I probably should have ignored it).

Think it was harder because there were 10 adults, only one other child and a baby. The other child is a bit older and is an only so although she had a few whiny moments her mum wasn't splitting herself two ways trying to deal with it and it didn't escalate the way my two's behaviour did. And because most of the others don't have children (apart from the couple with baby who are extremely PFB) I really felt pressure to get them behaving and embarrassed when they didn't. And because the couple are so PFB everything we did was to work around baby's routine so it wasn't necessarily the best timings for the dc.

But apart from Saturday evening we did have a really good time!

Haven't seen the one I had a date with again although he does seem very keen, has been texting me a lot etc. Having thought about it I'm not sure I would be able to start fancying him which makes me feel really shallow especially as he was so nice but I will see him again to make sure. It's 2 things really that put me off
1- he is really really skinny and being skinny myself and having always hated it it's just not something I find attractive in anyone and
2- he has quite large and wonky teeth

I feel so so shallow even putting that into words It's not even as if I've ever thought looks were that important to me and have been out with quite a variety of men , some conventionally good looking, some really not so I don't really have a type but it would seem looks are important after all.

I don't think you should feel remotely bad - you either fancy someone or you don't - it's not shallow not to fancy someone. Anyway you can just wait and see how you feel next time you see him, and try not to put pressure on yourself - if you don't like him, you don't like him

Sympathies re DC playing up - I have been there soo many times and it is so hard when you feel you are being judged (although I'm sure you weren;t) FWIW I think we always think our DC's behaviour is much worse than anyone else does. I remember saying to a lady whose house we'd been to that I was sorry DD had been such a nightmare and she looked genuinely aghast and said she had been delightful - so then I felt doubley as I had slagged my own daughter off to a virtual stranger

Hi am here lurking too!
Clairey I was going to ask how it was going with man so you've answered that already. I have to say all the things you feel/describe were exactly the same for me with man I went out with for 5 months last year. Except he was on the fatter side rather than skinny and had no neck rather than big teeth!! And I also feel really shallow saying that. But in the end if you're going to have a Relationship (big R) with someone then it probably is quite important that you fancy them physically. I also found after a while that other things started to annoy me alot which I probably wouldn't have noticed much if I'd found him sexually attractive - like he had a tendency to suck on things (like clothes). Anyway I'd say go with your gut reaction.

And you're right it is much harder to manage the behaviour of more than one, esp if there's not a DP to take one away somewhere if necessary. I find that frequently in front of others - especially as DD2 is a total chatterbox and I actually find it quite hard to have adult conversation when she's around, especially when we're out as she will typically spend most of the time climbing on me. I can't say I have any wonderful tips sorry!!

Skidd, good luck with the assessment and I'd be like you and want to have a full assessment even if they said he's a tad young. In fact having been through a range of assessments for DD1, I find that I have to restrain myself from pop-diagnosing DD2...

Its the Rugby Sevens tournament here this weekend which mostly involves lots of young people dressing up in weird and wonderful costumes, getting rather drunk and spending not much time actually at the stadium and even less time watching rugby. It all a rather strange cultural phenonemem, but quite fun for all that. Tickets to the tournament sell out within minutes of them going on sale each year. Also a long weekend - Wantangi/NZ Day on Monday.

Well I am seeing him on Weds so I'll update then. Think I feel shallow because it isn't just there's no chemistry/no spark/don't fancy but specific non-fancying as in I could fancy you if you were a bit stockier...

Sounds fun buzzy

Am looking forward to half term, we're all shattered!

well?

(that was to clairey)

Sorry sorry sorry!

We went bowling, then for lunch. It was fun He didn't mock me for my bad score, we chatted lots, he's very easy to be around. I overheard the old man in the next lane at bowling telling him I was lovely . He showed some muscle which made him a bit more attractive (see told you I was shallow) . He dropped me home afterwards and I think he went in for a snog but he got a peck instead, wasn't about to start snogging in the street! He sent me a text last night saying the more he gets to know me the more he likes me... I think that might be true for me too, he's definitely very nice, just still not sure if there's any more to it...

oh he sounds lovely, are you going to see him again and see if your feelings get stronger? [excited]

Sorry I have been mad busy and spending too much time on Facebook

See how you feel, Freaky, but if there is no spark, that isn't something you can force. Don't feel that you should settle just to be with someone, you are worth more than that! That special someone will be out there for you :)

Nothing very exciting to report here. DD is now 8 months, no sign of crawling but has discovered that food is a good thing!

I was wondering actually if you would all be interested in being on a FB group for just us lot? I am in one for my Due in June thread, we find we prefer it to MN as it is so much more confidential and easier to keep up with than on MN. TBH I am hardly on MN these days. I am pretty sure I am friends with all of you who still post on this thread. If you don't want to do it I shall keep posting here!

Will definitely be no settling BT!! But am going to give him a chance because he really is lovely and the instant spark thing has not worked out well for me thus far. Am actually seeing him tues...was meant to be weds but he asked to change as he has to work. Am ignoring the fact that it is V day...

(am now friends with him on fb if you fancy a nose)

Is he holding a pint? He looks nice!

cocktail. green london top. Think you can see quite a few pics without being friends with him

he doesn't look skinny at all - he's all muscular!

Yes I can see a few muscles there too!

DD2 read the word "spider" today and it wasn't even from a picture book, just a random word on a bit of paper. I must admit she took me by surprise :)

It is the one I am thinking of. He looks nice.

Oh cripes I really wanted to catch up but have a friend turning up in a few minutes and the house is a mess so marking my place and promise to come back later and write some more!

well done to your DD2 buzzy - isn't wierd how they learn all this stuff, seemingly out of nowhere? My DS2 has gone from about 20 single words two weeks ago to almost speaking in sentences! Well that is maybe a bit over-generous but he says things like "gogogo bwoo at" (translation: 'Postman Pat is wearing a blue hat', gogogo is Postman Pat and gagaga is Fireman Sam ) - obviously no-one but me and DH can understand him but the difference is amazing - he seems so much happier now that he can communicate better although I am slightly grieving for his lost cute nonsence words (he now says yes insteadof gabeeeyaaa - so conventional) have even brought up the possibility of DC4 with Dh (he's not keen)...

BT - I hardly use fb so would rather carry on here but if you want to start a fb group I'll try and remember to look!

He likes his g's then skid, sounds very cute!

Wow at dd2 buzzy, looks like you have another clever one there!

So the boy came over last night, bought me a rose [cheesy], we watched x-men first class although we chatted through most of it, cuddled up a bit, ended the evening with a bit of a snog...but I'm still not sure!! I think he is really really nice, and we get on well, but I just don't think the spark is there for me... I kind of thought the snog might help but it felt a bit clinical, certainly wasn't a passionate kiss and I can't really imagine us having rampant sex