FESH Spa & Creche - Queue-jumpers accepted with open arms

[AlpinePony]

How exciting for a new thread - two FESHspring due shortly!

Is she a socialist alps?

Went out to town earlier for some supplies and we were burgled whilst we were out - stepdaughter was in - the guy smashed through the back door with a garden chair, went straight upstairs, stuck his head round her door, said 'hello', went out and left the house. They didn't take anything but obvious SD is v shaken. Fucking cockwipes. Makes me so mad - 'ah I can't be bothered to do a hard days graft, I know I'll take something that belongs to someone who has worked hard to afford it instead'. Grrrrrrrrrrr

ruby barstard bloody skanks. Hope SD ok. That is scary and not nice at all.

costa i iz mean muvva. Def leave if just whingey and have couple of times left when full on scream when there is no reason for the upset (clean/fed/winded).

moo tears are normal. I cried today. Again. This time cos MB was kicking off and I was trying to get dressed. We were in the same room. HI suggested before he pissed off went out that I should get ready in the bedroom. What would have been ideal would have been if HI could have hung on so I could have got ready without the stress of keeping an eye on MB. Men never think do they.

The thrush eg my painful boobs are on the mend. Yay!

HV came today and MB is gaining well ! 11lb 5oz ! He is bursting out of his clothes! Porky porker. Poor thing also has the sniffles. Last night he slept from 10 til 2 but then was awake til 5 cos he poo'd when feeding three times!!! Would not settle in his Moses. Sad thing is I am getting used to it.

In nag news, sharer has called to say she can't carry on FT. I did call another livery for advice and to see if she could see any solution that I may have over looked. She never got back to me so I think she thought I was going to ask her to help me out and that wasn't my intention at all. Bit disappointed that's what she thinks. Oh well in her shoes I'd be suspicious too.

My solution is in the form of HI. He is going to do hoss on his days off for next couple of weeks then hopefully i will be mobile. Can't afford to move To a full livery Yard or to employ private groom. Would be ideal but not poss.

Today I haz been out the house. Ooh get me! Had nice afternoon with friends. Almost felt human again. I have also scoffed mince pies.

Cunty that is awful, bastards! Hope SD (and you) can not allow bastards to spoil the safety of home, I imagine it feels a bit violated at the moment.

Silver have you thought Amy more about complaining to the hospital? I read your birth story with horror, no painkillers is barbaric.

Mostly been lurking of late, all ok with me but Clint likes my full attention... First jabs this week, he has been a bit sleepy and whingy since. 9 weeks old tomorrow, can't believe it! Only 50th centile height and a mere 75th for head size and weight (now 11lb 5oz) Midget.

Moo hope you feel better soon.

Ya VAG me and HV are going to work on the complaint together when we meet in the new year. She says it's my decision to complain tho she thinks it
will be therapeutic to do so. Not to mention it's not acceptable to treat someone like that. If I can save
someone else the misery of poor after care then job done.

HV has been visiting me more than is officially rqd cos she was concerned about me following my horrible experience at the hossie plus the emotional side of being a new mum etc. Guess she is checking I am not
going off my rocker more than usual.

VAG do you still have da bum grapes?

I might do some housework tomorrow. Might not. Do need to do laundry as it's getting out of control.

curly pls to share MIL tales. Pls to make me feel less alone in the MIL saga's.

MB doesn't seem to sleep in the mornings. Afternoons - yes. Anyone else experience the same??

cunty am truly shocked at break-in while SD home. Sick bastards. Hope you are all ok.

sorry silv MIL is generally ok. Just everything else in life that seems wrong. honey I think it's a teary day. I'm struggling between the cold, another extreme droid, lack of sleep and general feelings of shittyness/worthlessness. I have snapped at baby and husband today. Feel like I'm failing her and just an inconvenience to him. Anyway, you don't want to hear me moan, so I will piss off.

curly Please definitely do not piss off and be miserable on your own. I am here with a nearly empty tub of "Fairly Nuts", baby is down for the night, jailbait nearly off to work - you can chew my ear off. :)

cunty That's shocking - is she OK? Poor girl, what did the bastards have? Time to get that dog eh? As for friend - she's def Tory!

I'm sorry everyone's feeling down - I think we need to resurrect the gin sessions. I'm prepared to start now.

silv Congrats on fixing your tits! Can you not find an enthusiastic 15 year old who'll whore herself for free rides?

curls tis the place to moan. So get off your chest. Better out than in. If it makes you feel any better your feelings are normal and my pals who i saw today confirmed that the rollercoaster of emotions continues and they have kids 2 yrs plus. You are not useless or worthless. You are luvverly. It's hard being a parent. Men can make things easier or not so easy. You are not to blame. If you were local to me I'd drag you down the child friendly pub for a good old sesh/whinge.

alps I am open to any offers so watch this space. My pal has still not come back to me. Hope she doesn't think I was on the scrounge for help cos I wasn't and I'd hate to be thought of In that way.

NAKing at mo and once he goes back to sleep (I hope he does!) I'll feed the furries and try and get some shut eye myself. Going out today has knackered me right out.

Oh btw, I want to say a big THANK YOU to all of you - because I've coped every single day with your sanity & know-how. Reading around on mn I see people worrying about things I know are "normal" because everyone talks about them here. You're all fucking awesome. [hic]

Alps they didn't take anything - just opportunists who scarpered when they knew someone was in.

curlsworld no feelings of worthlessness allowed. FWIW I feel like Rastus and I are encumberances at least once a day, I feel like Hom's parenting is woeful, he feels like my ability to manage childcare and keeping house is woeful and there are clashes every day. Multiply that by the number of hours sleep lost and the number of hours dealing with an grizzly/teething/windy baby then it's easy to see how things blow up out of all proportion.

For all in this boat I highly recommend a read of 'Life After Birth' by Kate Figes, which explains it all (esp relations with the father) very nicely indeed. I found myself muttering 'yes that. And that. God yes he does that too' to myself in the bath the other night and then I realised that the majority of new mums go through all of this. However, not all those new mums have the support of the BESH. So dry those tears, spend at least 10 minutes with your eyes closed breathing in and out slowly and thinking of something that lifts your spirits, then put the bad shiz behind you. Everything will always be ok in the end, just get through this temporary bit and the sun will come out again.

WEll I told Artie to Fucking Shut the Fuck Up today in a very cross shouty voice and made him just cry even more, so am totally shite mother at the moment.

Does anyone else just find the whole thing slighty surreal??

Tchah, I loudly threatened to put Rastus into Care at 2.30 this morning.

Gin?

Make mine a bottle.

Cunty the little fucker. That makes me so angry that some little tosser can do that.

I have been known to turn the tears on (which is still quite easy at the moment) when Mr C is a bit unreasonable. I find it very helpful at times . We had a bit of "a do" 7 days after Peppa's birth when he invited his mum and dad for dinner which turned into them staying the night which I did not fancy. Tears on, blubbed about leaking nips and vag and only wanting my own mum and soon enough the overnight invite was reversed (I am not sure how he did this but I am sure they think I am DIL from hell). To be fair though I really did not want to play host to anyone a week after giving birth other than my own mum and dad which I am sure you laydez will agree is fair enoough.

Cos I once shouted so loudly at mini C that the neighbours heard . I saw them in the supermarket the next day and said they thought it was a bit out of character. He did refuse to eat his lunch and hurled it half way across the kitchen though and I was very angry. Since that incident I try not to get too hung up on whether he eats his lunch or not..

It's when your child rifles through the shopping bags looking for sweeties, sighs, and say 'just a bottle of plonk for Mummy,' that you need to review your life. LG is not at a stage where he can make such comments yet, but he did offer his own opinion in the form of the biggest poo you ever did see.

I must admit, and it's surprised me as much as anyone - I've never "lost it" nor sworn at Bear. I know that sounds really smug & arsey. :(

cunty What absolute wankers - how is your step-daughter? Is she OK?

Right, well I need to get a shift on. Dogs need walking. Town needs approaching quietly and quickly and I'll back off if it's too busy. Sun is shining, snow is glistening - horse needs a-riding. :)

VAG Oh yes, I love all of you. One day we'll have a giant cocktail party - when the children are at university possibly?

Seriously though, from all of you I've learned what is physically normal, psychologically normal, developmentally normal - and how utterly normal it is to want to stove your partner's head in with an oft-ignored iron and then bury his body under the patio.

I wouldn't give him the dignity of a decent burial...

SD is ok - she coped well initially and went off to work, but couldn't stay here overnight. Off to get a new back door today - that's what I was hoping for, loads of unexpected expense just before Christmas

In awe of your zen Alps, 3am saw another 'oh for christ's sake Rastus SHUT UP' but it made no difference. He only wakes up properly (for feeding) once a night but it's the semi-waking and shuffling and half-hearted wailing while he settles back down again, which can happen anything up to 4 times a night, which leaves me a dry husk. I can't get a decent block of sleep in which leaves me refreshed and my god I hope this changes before I go back to work because I'll be on longer hours

Funny cunty, you strike me as the kind of gal who gets her back door kicked in every xmas.

Is there any hope with "own bedroom"? We're planning to put Bear in his own room a couple of weeks after we move - and then I hope the semi-waking will no longer wake me as he's definitely getting better at getting himself back to sleep and being placed in the cot rarely causes histronics any more.

I've decided to fuck town off - it's St. Niklaas this week which is "children's xmas" - it will be a heaving hell-hole. With a buggy? No thanks. A continuation of internet shopping I think. I think it's going to be earrings for jb's mum. She can stick them in her handbag flying home to save Easyjet baggage handlers the bother of going through her suitcase looking for something to steal.

Yeah, the nursery will need to be sorted before after xmas, but I think the babby monitor will still rouse me some. We'll see, maybe he'll settle down

Alps isn;t Christmas Children's Christmas? Do they thehrefore have 2 Christmases in that there place?

okie Basically yes. Children will only get one present on Christmas day but they'll get everything now - can never remember whether it's 5th or 6th December, but I'm sure in a year or two Bear will remind me!

We are currently watching Postman Pat. Wtf? Pat has a baybee (Julian ) - and we're currently watching "Pirate Adventure". The other one in the box is "Dinosaur Search". Wtf happened to a lost cat, flower show and a blue-tit stealing cream from milk bottles?

silv My friend at the yard who's just had the boob job - her sharer has done a bunk. Shit weather plus being "asked" not to leave the fucking cupboard in such a state... You cannot give away free rides these days. This btw was on an Open class dressage horse FER FREE on full livery!

Just back from the yard, cut short my ride. No slipping due to barefoot - however it was minus 3 with a bitterly wind blowing and after quarter of a mile at passage I halted to tighten the girth, at which point she reared up leaving me with only one buckle done up... then jogged backwards down a fucking ditch. I decided discretion was the better part of valour and headed back to the yard to the kettle. Frozen taps & no wiener melange. Bugger.

Me and HI are continually sparring. Tis horrible. We no like each other much at the mo. Advice?

Need to open bank account for MB - how to pls?

Silv any chance you can go out for a beer with HI for an hour and just have some time the two of you? Could you leave MB with anyone? I know it is hard to leave them but if it is only for a quick local drink??

Also, I would recomend going to have your nails or a pedicure or something just on your own.

Bank accounts can be opened but from what I remember they are in your name initially and you are in control of it. I can't remember what you need to open one but if you call your bank and ask then you can make an appt to go in and do it. Best to make appt so you are not pissing around waiting and faffing if you were to just drop in.

We have been to a 2nd birthday party today with fruit shoots and everyfing. Mini C ate choclate, biscuits and crisps and nothing else - he is very happy. Peppa slept throught the whole thing, would not even wake to feed despite stipping her off. She is of course saving all the wakey time for this evening no doubt.

Advice?

The only thing I can suggest is be very clear in your own mind what is wrong and what you want him to do, spell it out to him and work from there. If he thinks it is unreasonable then withdraw labour/relations.

A more pink and fluffy way would be to find out why he is acting like he is (e.g. jealousy, feeling left out, it's-not-my-job, affirmation of traditional roles) and then tell him how it makes you feel. Then withdraw labour/relations if he tries to make an argument out of it. You haven't the time or the energy to deal with two children, but he will still expect you to be the same person with lots of time for him. You aren't. He'll have to suck it up.

I think it gradually gets better once you find your feet - things don't seem so out of proportion and you do eventually get some sleep and time to yourself which puts things into perspective a little bit. I got to the stage where I told Hom that I would never be superwoman, and things would never go back to the carefree ways of before, so he would have to deal with it. An interesting line from Life After Birth is something like - 'your life is now completely given over to your child, however his life is as it has always been unless you thrust the child into his arms'. It is that bit that takes them a while to get their heads round.

And get a copy of Life After Birth. Honestly.