Dec 08 Ladies - Waiting for BabyLady & the usual grumpy tots with stinky bots

[DeidreBarlow]

Hope this is ok...

Lady - no I meant I use the regular Aptamil 1st cartons now - the comfort stuff doesn't come in cartons as I think it has to be made up as you go rather than in advance (although I often did just means you have to then shake it up as it separates) dd is a lot better and it's easier to wind her now, however she still sometimes has trapped wind up to an hour or two after she's fed even after doing big burps

Evening folks, well we had a great time chez Rubes, T was immediately at home there and took over Rubes' poor DS's toybox as if it was his own (and has been banging on about the 'puppy' since we left!).
Rubes, your DS is just perfect, T was on his best nappy behaviour and is Satan personified at times so I don't want you to get the wrong idea! You look pretty darn good yourself, . And thank you so much for the clothes (for me and DS2), you are very kind. Can't wait to see you here by the sea!

Avo, how dispiriting about your GP visit, I've had internals from male docs before so I think he is a newbie getting squeamish. Could you call the receptionist and ask - and then maybe get a quicker appt with a more experienced male GP?

Lady I can only offer you sympathy on the crap nights, but it doesn't seem right that you are still in so much pain. Please, please, please go and see someone about it.

Veg, solidarity on the crap nights, it's def teeth here too. Grrrrrr. I am v impressed with everything you manage to fit into a morning. Hope you get a better night and have the Calpol at hand where you need it!

Evening - just a flying visit to say hello :)

I've been busy doing the 30-day-shred which has made me sweaty and not much else and planning presents for the boys for Xmas and their birthdays. Early I know but money seems to be leaching away at the moment so we need to plan it all ahead.

I havent had time to read but will heopfully catch up over the weekend sometime, hope everyone is OK, MoM and Katie and JJ the pregnancies are going OK and LadyT thing are going Ok at home at the mo (how is O's eating and walking doing?)

Thanks to SL who let me jump in the puddles with her at a mini meet-up in cambridge - it was lovely to meet someone at last and get out for the day - even in the rain!

Better go and get washed :)

where is everyone????

Nice to see you NJAN. Nolda and I have both tried the 30 day shred as well. I haven't done it often enough but I think Nolda said that she had great results. How long have you been doing it?

Its also nice to hear from you Kiwi. Sorry you are ill. I really hope you feel better soon.

I'm glad the mini meet-up Chez Rubena was a success. Did the boys interact? I find DD2 still doesn't really play with friends her age. She will pay attention to DD1 and her gang but has yet to make any effort with her own peers. Is that true of others?

Have we heard from Invis recently? Or even JJ? It seems very quiet on here of late. Another I was thinking of was Verso. She hasn't dropped by in a long time and I noticed she I'm no longer friends with her on FB. I have no problem with that but I just hope she is OK.

How are the houses of sick Sybs and Jam?

I have to say I feel a bit guilty about my self indulgent house buying posts. But nevertheless I am going to do one more. Please feel free to skip the rest of this post if you are bored, I would totally understand.

Basically we have two possible choices and the question is do we prioritise location, location, location or finance, finance, finance? The first house I have mentioned before. It is uber expensive but gorgeous. The owner may accept our offer on Monday. It it in one of the nicest streets in our neighbourhood. It is next to our local park and right by DD1's school and all our local friends are within 5 mins walk. It is 3 mins from the Tube which we use to commute each day. It has wow factor but is tired and needs work. To buy it we would need a mortgage that is nearly 5x our combined salaries . We could get that mortgage but the repayments would nearly cripple us. I would work full time, we would not have holidays, we would have to watch every penny. Our lifestyle would really change. But we would be surrounded by friends and the park and transport links and we would have a lovely home.

The second house is in a much less nice neighbourhood about 20 mins walk from here. It has less of a wow factor and is slightly smaller but it is also lovely. We could move in and do no work at all. We would not even require a mortgage to buy it so it our lifestyle would be unchanged and I could go down to 3 days a week at work (we have no mortgage at the mo). However, it is 20 mins walk from the park, 20 mins walk from most of our friends, 20 mins walk from the school and a bus ride away from the Tube. I love the fact that in our current neighbourhood I pop into friends houses and meet them in the street. Kids call for DD1 on the way to school each day. That would all be lost. The street it is in is quite nice and is full of family homes but the neighbourhood is much less nice.

I am so indecisive at the best of times and this choice is such a hard one. I know I am very fortunate to have such choices so I am not feeling at all sorry for myself, I just want to get this right. What would you guys do faced with a similar decision?

Well Avo i'm a fine one to talk but I think I would go with option B - simply because you never know what the future will bring. To live without a mortgage gives you so much freedom and you could even retrain and do something else if it took your fancy. Plus there's always the "what ifs" - you or DH or either of the DDs got sick and you needed the flexibility to manage that. And then there's the possiblity of DC3?

I know you can't live on the never never and take all the worst case scenarios into account but option B gives you flexibility, rather than a sense of being trapped in a job (which your feelings may chance about) and constantly keeping an eye on interest rates as they creep higher.

The 20 min walk thing will be a pain - but you'll be fit . And your DDs will get to know the kids on your street and they'll eventually come calling for them too.

That said, I totally get the lure of the dream house, esp as it is just within your grasp (and them accepting your offer does make it feel a bit 'meant'). But just some thoughts!

I will probably come and do the same thing myself very soon

That's a real tough one Avo I see your dilemma. I agree with Spot in that you may not be wise to stretch yourself that much for that perfect house. Especially as you said it needs work which then costs more money. I'm guessing the difference in these 2 house must be considerable, if one means you need 5 x salary mortgage and the other you can buy outright? Did you mention before what 2 neighborhoods you are talking about? I'm all for adding value to a house that needs work, and with that said, I'm wondering if you should go for either really Best case would be to buy in the best neighbourhood, but something much more affordable that needs quite a bit of work which you could do gradually over time without stretching yourself too much. I ultimately think location is more important, as you can always change the house but can't ever move it's location. I'm not being very helpful I know, and I'm sure there is nothing else out there you haven't looked at but I'd be inclined to try and find the crappy house that needs the work in the right area.... Do you have a deadline to move soon? I know your dh doesn't want to rent and therefore move twice as it's a real hassle - agreed, but buying the wrong house in a hasty decision would be more hassle at the end of the day.

hello all, sorry for extended absence, has been mental here at work and spending most evenings flat out on the sofa as am finding this PG much more tiring than last time, am already weighing in at what I did 3 weeks hence with DD1 (I like saying that!) from same starting weight, and according to 20 week scan, she was 350g and this one was nearly 450 so no wonder more hard work already! (did that make any sense at all?)

Update on the whole slap cheek thing is that the second test didn't show any sign of contact with the bug (hurrah) but need to have a final test in a couple of weeks to confirm. have an extra scan to check growth of the new one as the tummy is so big, but that should hopefully all be fine and nice to see her again anyway.

We have words at last from dd, it's absolutely amazing that she seems to pick up new nouns every day. Cake! Milk! Water! manoon! (this apparently means pine cone?! bath! button! shirt! If only she could string together some kind of sentence that says "I want the milk" or "Look there's some milk" it would be lovely. Oh she's learned sorry too - was riding on DH's leg this morning and he said No more, daddy's tired. So she dismounted , said "Sad" and did her 'Maisy sad' face, then rubbed his leg and said sorry! And she likes to point at my tum, say Pummy (?) and then blow a raspberry at her little sis. It's all terribly cute :)

Quickie from to say...still haven't done that catch up and now on train to cricket dinner. Very stupid or very dedicated, not sure which. Feeling so guilty about leaving DP to cope with the smalls alone though he has been sweet about it. His Mum is dropping in tomorrow (I will be back by then). Avo, will give thought to your dilemma! And JJ, good news on the slapped cheek. Everyone else - more soon! Nearly at Padders, have to fling dress on and tart self up in the loos as I had no time today. Sigh. Hated saying bye to DP and girls but tonight will do me good. Have lovely Friday nights all.

Lady have a wonderful evening, you really deserve it and as run down as you are, I think this night out is exactly what you need. Relaxing at home is one thing but seeing good friends and feeling normal and a part of the world of grown ups will do you so much good.

Saw another house to add to our possibles today. this place. It's on quite a busy street and little further out. But its near a great shopping street a park & farm and as everywhere is rideable the distance isn't too bad. Still close to DS1's school, and the back garden is enormous.
Avo, I think location is a big thing, but you won't be that far away in the affordable place. however, I know time is a premium but I'm siding with Pubes on the see if something else comes up thing. also would you ever consider paying say a 50% deposited on a cheaper place and getting a mortgage and then using the rest of the money to a deposit on a buy to let. as you would own at least half of the buy to let its rent would pay for some of the mortgage of the house you live in (sorry I probably shouldn't give you another option). now for my opinion on the 2 options you presented, I personally would go with option B. living somewhere amazing counts for nothing if you can't enjoy it as a family.

Vag, that place is nice. I like it best out of what you've shown.

Avo, I'm really thinking you should keep looking. I don't think you sound convinced enough on either. As Vag said, you won't enjoy family life even though you're in your dream house, but on the other hand, you won't enjoy reducing your working life if you are in a location you can't stand.
I'd keep looking and rent for a small time until something comes up in the location you want to be in. I know it's a hassle to move twice, trust me, I've moved 5 times in the last 5 years (one of those internationally!) it sucks, but you could always get Phil and Kirsty on board, and I could just happen to be at the pub that you wait with Phil for that phone call from the agent to say you've got it!

Lady, enjoy your evening.

Avo I have to say that I think that a 5X income mortgage in this climate is a risk you might regret. We took on a hefty mortgage the last time we moved, but it was still "only" 3X our combined income and the house needed some work, but really not that much. It was tight. And then when I went on maternity leave, and it was pretty much just DH's income (so effectively a 4X income mortgage) it was very, very tight compared to what we're used to. I have sworn to myself that I will never take on a mortgage more than 3X our combined income. Especially now, as it is so likely prices will dip this year again. Can you lowball the amazing house and try to get an offer accepted that brings the mortgage down to more like 4X income or less?? And if that doesn't work, wait a bit longer to see what happens with prices over the rest of the year? Really hard decision though.

Glad everyone was entertained by my Sudocremed cat. I just wiped it off as best I could and he now looks like he has been through a patchy oil slick. I have also hid the Sudocrem better than before!

I am clearly still not well - napped for 4.5 hours today. That is not normal! I even cancelled drinks and dinner with my local mum friends tonight, which I am gutted about.

Enjoy your Fridays everyone!

Wow Veggie. That places looks amazing! I also liked the canal one, but this one looks bigger and brighter.

Avo is it possible to have a little peak at the places you are looking at? Are they online?

Pubes did you have a takeaway?

Did I miss a post from Kiwi?

Beans Congrats on your anniversary.

Very excited, we have a little break booked next week. It's DS1's half term break so we are taking the boys to a safari park here in the Netherlands. It's only 1.5 hours away but we've book 4 nights in a Zebra Jungalow that they have onsite at the park. The boys are quite excited. DS2 only really understands that there are animals involved (& has no idea what a holiday is). When we told them DS1, was jumping up & down, so DS2 followed suit shouting "Amumool, Amumool".

Beans I know what you mean about the talking. I love that DS2 is picking up so many words, but I will miss the preverbal stage. If I had to choose a stage I loved the very most with DS1 (obv I love everyday of his life) it would be just before he talked. I think because I understood him before anyone else could.

Yes veg I know what you mean, but am loving the picking up words so much. Talking about it makes me want to go and get Izz out of bed and hug her. But Pru quite divine at mo too. Feeling a bit soppy about the girls. Saddo me!
Posting from iphone - v exciting!
Avo, I'd go with cheaper one or keep looking too buying house is such a massive commitment you do need to take your time and think option A would mean nice location but too much worrying about finances and less family time, which you might regret ine day. V hard.
I've just realised that now both DDs sleeping through night in unison, I've been getting 8-9 hours sleep most nights. Heaven BUT amstill feeling knackered and a bit run down. Weedy. I need a night out like Lady!

Yeah Mom I cancelled a lot of nights out and things while pregnant with DS2 including Arsenal v Derby at pride park. My boys humiliated Derby 6-0 and I missed it. The latest place is 5m squared bigger than the canal place which does make a difference. Both have good points and not much against them. The canal area is good due to proximity to my usual haunts & friends houses, but the 2nd place as a home is preferable. It just feels a bit more comfortable. Sorry probably babbling a bit but helps to have sounding board.

no - no take away Vag. I cooked Salmon since we have about 50 quids worth in the freezer from our curbside purchasing. It was yum.
Why did you ask? Tomorrow is premium TV viewing so a take-away may be required

Beans my mum would say you need another of your DHs steaks, but me being Veggie I think you need some Mojitos. Last night I went to a friends house with the boys after school. Both our DHs were due home late so we gave the kids tea together and she made Mojitos for her & I. It did me the power of good Beans. Would have had more as they were very yummy, but would have been a wobbly ride home with my beloved children at risk.

Sorry Beans was not making sense there I meant this stage just before they talk properly. It's not really preverbal is it, its more pre yabbering.

We had takeaway tonight and I thought you sometimes did on a Friday too. Hey how was the salmon, good I hope. DS1 likes salmon in a cream sauce with chives (aka cheesy pasta).

Beans Hooray on the sleeping girls.

Eugh, I just need a rant to get this out of my system then will feel normal again.
T has really bad teething, bright red swollen cheeks, barely slept since going to bed despite being drugged up, gelled up and having had two bottles of milk. He was up all night again last night, and I am just SO FED UP of having a child who never sleeps! I am knackered and dreading the arrival of DS2 as it'll mean even less sleep. I know I'm being all victimy about it and feel bad for T as he wants to sleep but can't and is in a lot of pain. But there ALWAYS seems to be something. He's got a bad cold as well. I feel like he's always ill, always teething, and has had about a total of 2 weeks this year when he's been well .I know it's the season for illness but it just seems neverending. I also worry that the constantly broken nights aren't doing his development or behaviour any favours (or mine!).

DP home late tonight from Amst (flight delayed so prob not home til 1am) and he's knackered so not much respite there. Plus it's his B'day on Sun and I would so like us to have a nice time rather than both get ratty with each other through lack of sleep.

I know it will get better eventually, but can't get over thinking this is just how things are and I've ended up with the world's crappest sleeper and most teethy/coldy lad.

Sorry for the outpouring of self-pity, I just needed to rant.

Vag - yeah you're right we sometimes do - and it was more because it was BB Eviction night (how sad am I ) and I speak for myself as dh hated it with a passion! But now, it's all about Sat night for me yep sad again. Now it's Strictly and X-factor!

Spot, firstly, T is def not having any developmental issues! he talks loads more than ds who sleeps through the night almost faultlessly.
You mentioned when you were here that you recently have been taking the path of least resistance. Trust me, I TOTALLY understand as you are pregant that that is the favourable choice (I did with so many things when pregnant as I hate pregnancy which is no secret and had such a hard time) but since you are feeling so crap anyway, why don't you try a few nights of hard ass no milk through the night period, and try and get him on track. If he's hungry he WILL eat or drink milk in the day and he will not starve (straight from the medics mouth) otherwise he'll continue the pattern and it will be a disaster when the newbie arrives for you sleep wise. I'm not sure to try cold turkey-ing him while he is poorly and all bunged up, but at some point soon I would get on that.
Now clearly I'm no Gina Ford or whoever they are that write the how to raise kids books, but it's just what I'd do - not saying it'll work. I hope it gets better v fast though whatever route you take.
I hope you have a lovely night out with dp for his birthday x

Right, I'm quite enjoying this Davina McCall roast. I really love her!

Thanks, Rubes, and I know you're right re-the milk, etc. It just seems like there's never a time when he's not ill/teething! He is in a particularly bad way at the moment but maybe if things improve next week I'll get a bit more hardcore as we're having a night out at a hotel next weekend and am leaving T at my mum's for a night and I don't want him to be a nightmare for her.

Glad you had a good dinner . Hope you had some nice vino too to take the edge off yesterday's hangover...

Literally up all night. Haven't felt like this since T was a newborn. Feel like walking out the door and not coming back.

Am now on train back to country but poor dear Spot. If there is one thing guaranteed to make you feel like liquid shite, it's no sleep. You aren't self pitying, and it isn't used as an interrogation tool/instrument of torture for nothing. And it is even worse when your body is under strain from pregnancy. How I wish I could help you. I can only beam you loads of sympathy and tell you that though I haven't the same thing, I have similar and though I am not pregnant now, I still feel crummy physically. All I can say is that it's horrible at the month for you, but T WILL stop teething and he WILL get over his illnesses and things will still be tough for a while, esp when you have the new one, but they WILL get better. All you can do is try and muddle your way through as best you can. Everyone on here is so much on your side, I know that. If you can somehow get your DP to do T duties tonight, and get a little more rest, things will seem brighter. You've got to hang in there. Nice bath and good music and wine. Yep. If my consultant told me wine is ok as long as you are sensible with your intake, it must be true Gloves up!

I had a lovely time last night, I love those boys. BUT - took me an hour to find a cab/ended really late anyway/slept badly despite having a night alone/scar looks dodgy now, oh HECK/really missed the girls and DP. My friend and his wife turned up for an hour with their new baby girl, born on Tues after that 34hr labour. Erm, she looked like she'd been to Hell and back (the new mum), it sounded pretty awful and I am just hugely concerned about her. Baby gorgeous and Dad is such a love, but but but...I do think a lot of books give people unrealistic expectations about what labour can be like. Makes me cross, actually. Right, fingers aching now so proper catch up when I'm at a laptop!

Oh Spot, you sound at your tits end. Ditto what Lady says. Isn't dp home today? He needs to take T out and you need to have a bath and lock yourself away in the bedroom and sleep. Things will seem better.

Lady glad you had a nice time. Eeek about the friends labour you asked a few back if my period had returned. It did the next day well I think it's a breakthrough bleed or something as I'm not at end of pill packet. Anyway I feel grotty and tired. What do you mean about your scar looking dodgy - do you mean how it goes purple with all the hormones changing etc?

ok I'm off to a shopping centre with 2 littuns. I am the queen of online shopping and in store returning - wish me luck.