Dec 08 Ladies - Waiting for BabyLady & the usual grumpy tots with stinky bots

[DeidreBarlow]

Hope this is ok...

Oh, and Jam, hope your lads perk up. Dvds on the sofa all round, then, today...

morning all! well I did my day of singing yesterday and it was lovely, really nice to be able to focus on something all day without worrying about what dd was up to. And she sat through the first hour or so of the rehearsal with dh being really good and quiet and listening, whereas she used to always want holding which makes singing quite hard! bless her we were doing one piece called Tristis et anxietatis (or some such) which was v minor key and discordant and she looked at me in a "what fresh hell is this?" way then ran off to daddy for a cuddle !

lady you were asking if I thought she was musical, she can kind of sing along to twinkle twinkle and baa baa black sheep etc but nothing more than the average kid. And poor dh is very disappointed that he won't get his little treble chorister now never mind eh!

Welcome home to the lady family! How fantastic about O's walking what a star. It must be hard given that you're physically 'off limits' for her until completely better, plus the new baby is taking away mummy's attention. Sounds like you're doing the best you can, plus having dp about might help while you're still recovering. Don't stop with the CS talk, it's really useful for those of us who've not had one but might, and also just really fascinating to hear about other people's births. Like Avo says, no matter how it happens it's still pretty miraculous that at the start of the encounter there's only X number of people in the room, and at the end of it there's X+1 [wells up]

Avo - good job getting to the paed, sorry to hear about the problems with GPs. Hope the medicine gets things sorted soon.

right am being called really quite loudly, only so long you can say "yes love in a minute" so will catch up with everyone else tonite.

What a time for little O to reveal her walking skills!!! How brilliant though. I am sorry she is finding things a little hard. FWIW I think you are right that she just needs showering with love. From her point of view its been a very odd week: mummy and daddy went away, then she got ill, the Daddy came back without Mummy, then she found mummy but mummy looked ill and was in a bed in a huge building full of strangers, then she was introduced to this little thing that doesn't do much but everybody is obsessed with, then mummy couldn't carry her etc etc etc. Just the developmental leap of walking was likely to unsettle her on its own! A few days curled up the sofa being cuddled will no doubt do the trick.

How are you feeling in yourself LadyT? Have the squits cleared up?

Oh and welcome back Jam! Glad it was a good break. So sorry to hear your boys are ill though.

Those of you with talkers, are you finding it quite tiring. DD2 never, ever stops. Its like a constant stream of conciousness. Right now she is sitting next to me in a state because she can see the laptop open and wants to look at photos on it. For five mins all I have heard is:

"Mummy on 'puter, mummy on 'puter; Nina want 'puter, Nina want 'puter; Nina see photos, Nina see photos; Nina see baby Theo, Nina see baby Theo; Nina touch 'puter, Nina touch 'puter; Nina naughty, Nina naughty; Nina lick 'puter, Nina lick 'puter; Nina not really lick, Nina not really lick; Nina see photos, Nina see photos".... It is sort of cute but its never-ending. Put this on a loop for 12 hours and it will drive you crazy.

Oh and JJ I realised that my comment about GPs sounded a bit rude. I feel bad as your DH is a GP. I wasn't just repeating what my friend said to justify going to A&E rather than wait around the dirty OOH clinic. Really I like my GP and think GPs in general have an amazingly hard job sifting out the serious cases from all the worried well. Glad you enjoyed your singing last night. How funny that S can spot an unusual composition. Clever girl!

Glad to hear you are home Lady. And great photo's she's gorgeous - looks exactly like O did but darker as you said. Nice work to O on the walking timing too - I wouldn't be surprised in the slightest if she suddenly starts eating more too now that D is around Yes it's trying times in the first few weeks with the newbie and the toddler, and guess they deal with it differently. DS has always been nice to A, but his way was to scream and scream if I talked to anyone, got on the computer or talked on the phone. Seem's to be getting over it these days though.

Avo not so much talking here as you know but that sounds very cute! I can see it would get annoying though. I've noticed ds says his no and yes much more if I don't make a big deal out of it, but rather just act like I understand, and it's normal for me to hear.
He threw the biggest tantrum at breakfast and I couldn't work out why, but later realised he wanted to feed himself (which takes forever) but when he did for about three quarters of it he wanted me to do the rest to get more in I guess.

dd was really unsettled early evening, but then fed at around 11 and didn't wake until 7 ! tbh I actually woke her at 7 and she probably would have gone longer. She stirred at 430 and 6 but I've learnt to know the difference with her little stirrings and her full on I'm hungry wakings and she only did a half second -not even- squark and back to sleep so it was bliss. then she went back to sleep so ds wok at 7 too and sat and watched Bob the Builder and stuff till 8
Quite pleased but I know it's just a one off as she did a random similar sleep a few weeks back.

Glad you got dd1's front bum sorted Avo.

Hello Jam, I tried to keep up with your photo's on FB of your hols - looks like a nice time was had. What a stupid woman on the plane.

Welcome home LadyT&BabyT! Hope ToddlerT settles down soon, it really must be the most awful shock for them going from centre of known universe to one of two...! I'm sure others will have much better advice though.

Am feeling somewhat sorry for myself - clearly not had the best week anyway and now I have agonising pain in ear (never knew ear infections were so contagious but both my parents have had one this week - surely cant just be coincidence?). Knackered too after DH's brothers wedding yesterday, at which DD was superstar flowergirl, bless her. She played the drums in the band.. Remind me to rant about my control freak new sister in law though, including her attempt to embargo people putting pics of the wedding on facebook...
Off back to bed to try and will my immune system into working. I REFUSE to be ill tomorrow on my birthday [stamps foot]

Oh crikey, this is all going to be a bit of an upwards climb. DD1 is clearly very angry with me. I feel so sorry for her and my attempts to comfort her are being rejected though she has come round a bit from this morning. DP says he is 'disappointed, angry and upset' with her (she is 22 months! Not 22!) so I am trying to mediate and it's all a bit tricky. He just takes it so personally when she is cross but she is only a baby herself Anyway, I am giving her lots of time and DP is doing the baby stuff, which he is very good at, but it means I am worn out and I don't get to do the baby snuggling. I haven't laid a hand on her since 8 this morning. I feel a bit frazzled. I am still in loads of pain (why? why?) and now bunged back up again instead of the reverse. Sigh. It ain't like in the ads!

And Avo - yes, you are so right. That is exactly my perspective on things and I have patience in spades, just no strength or energy. But things will improve, I am sure. DD1 does repeat things a lot but in line with her generally needing a lot of attention I have to respond to her satisfaction to every utterance (ie highly theatrically) which can get a bit tiring...

JJ, I always fancied having a little treble chorister too! I am glad you are getting to enjoy your singing more though. I am deffo posting my birth story when I have got time - mainly because I absolutely love reading other people's, whatever the 'kind' of birth.

Kiwi, you are really going through the mill I do hope you feel a little better for your special day tomorrow. And do give us the goss about your SIL, I always enjoy a good Bridezilla story.

Hooray for your good night, Rubes! When did DS start to calm down with everything, do you think? I must say I am in awe of you having other people around shortly after you came home with DD. I know it sounds princessy but all I really want to do is move around slowly and quietly without saying much. I can't stand the tiniest bit of aggro. I can't even stand long phone calls, except to Mum. I didn't listen to my iPod or watch telly in hospital, just like last time. If my body is telling me overwhelmingly that I need to hibernate, well, just for once, I am going to do just that and bloody enjoy it.

How is your sick house, Veggie? (And Jam).

Hi Lady, Yeah it was pretty full on. I came home the next day and mil stayed for 3 nights then I think we had one night on our own and my db was having complications at his accomodation so I offered them to come right over It was busy, but had it's good side in that his kids really entertained ds and so ds couldn't give a hoot about dd. It wasn't until his kids left (dd was just a week old) when ds started his screaming at me thing, and that carried on while my parent's were here (when dd was 3 through until 5 weeks old) and then stopped pretty much as soon as they left, so it was more about other people having my attention I think, as when it was just him and dd and I, after all the visitors left, he was fine. O might not like the fact that dp is home, but paying you attention etc, when she wants your time. It will settle down, I promise you. and when you find your way and get into some kind of routine you'll feel so much better. I didn't sort out any kind of routine (as casual as it is) until a couple of weeks after it was just the 3 of us and dh had gone back to work.
it doesn't help that you are still feeling pain though. That's a real mystery, and not ideal at all. Did you get those little Homeopathic pills from Covent Garden I was on about? The Codeine will bung you up too so did they give you lactulose to take with it?
I've just been out for the afternoon to the shops, but decided I still can't shop until I am back to my usual size as I just got thoroughly depressed and ended up buying the kids new clothes in the Gap sale
Does anyone have any thoughts on what clothes to buy that I can buy in my usual size but will still fit until I get to it? (I'm thinking lots of legging and stuff.
Kiwi heeeeeelp!
Hi Kiwi by the way I hope you start to feel better very soon so you are well on your birthday.

Oh and I meant to say earlier Beans don't beat yourself up about cutting down the BF. You have to do what works for you - that's more important. We all became so much happier here when we did what worked.

Hi all. Still some lurgeroonies here but we ventured out today anyway. Popped down to the little town of Delft and shopped in some of the Delftware shops. Then after lunch in the Leonidis cafe (chocolate city), we went to Madurodam which is the Netherlands but in miniture. Everyone had a great day but we are all shattered. I made the boys smoked makeral fish cakes for tea which they love but DS2 had gorged on fried green tomatoes & a cheese and smoked makeral platter I had set out for my mum & step dad so only ate his veggies.

Lady Pubes is right about the codiene bungifying you. Lactulose would do the job & would be better to get sooner rather than later as constitution plus post abdominal surgery cannot be a good thing. However, do keep the docs informed of how things go as if things don't move and you still have all this pain they may need to be sure its nothing of concern. It's very rare but bowel probs can be a complication of CS. I'm sure its the codiene constipation though and the consultant is a little naughty for not giving you something just in case.

Kiwi I don't care how ill you are get back here and tell me about bridezilla how dare you dangle that in front of us then choof off.

Avo DS2 isn't too bad but today I was drained by having to give my attention to 2 people vying for my attention. Today at one point I had DS1 calling 'mummy mummy, look at that train' while at the same time my mother was desperately trying to get me to look at a fish that was red when all the others were black. Also poor little DS2 won't let me out of his sight. Ive only left him with my mum twice since she arrived but now he freaks out if he loses sight of me as he thinks I've snuck out.

lady how lovely that DD1 is walking! but the jealousy/upset sounds hard. For what it's worth I was despairing for different reasons around this time, I was home from hospital and DD had a night where she refused to sleep until 6am. DS had got up at 4! Fortunately my parents were there but I was desperate and wondering how we were going to cope with 2...I think around this stage everything seems so new and different and it is bound to throw everyone involved somewhat, especially a poor small person who doesn't properly understand. So things will settle down, I am sure this is the worst bit! A bit unfair of your DP to say he is disappointed in her, poor little thing. Anyway I hope it gets better soon. Poor you with all the pain. I have to say that at this stage for me it was still painful to move around and get up and down but not too bad if I wasn't moving. I hope it gets better soon.

Rubes leggings and dresses for me on the clothes front. I am going to try and lose a bit of weight when I get back from holiday.

hi kiwi happy birthday for tomorrow. Hope you feel better.

Oh I forgot to say - njan and I had a great little mini-meet up in the rainy Botanical Gardens in Cambridge. It was great and has made me feel more positive about getting out on rainy days over winter. We did lots of jumping in puddles and getting muddy. Lovely to meet her two DSes as well!

veggie did you make the cheesecake?

avo i did laugh at your DD2's constant talking. My DS is not at the sentence phase yet and I still find any words he says massively cute. In our house it would go something like "CAR! Digger! Train! MINE! HELEN! Gentle! THUMP WAHHHHH Helen! Noisy!" etc etc.

rubes hurrah for massivo sleep. DD is sleeping quite well at the mo (touch wood). I have moved her into a cot at the end of our bed from the moses basket, where she sleeps much better for some reason. She's in a sleeping bag now and looks so cute! awwww...

Oh jam what a bitch that lady was. Calling your lovely DS2 an it!! . Hope you are all feeling better.

Ha! Well, full details another time but firstly, she set round an email saying people weren't allowed to put their pics on Facebook until she and DH's brother are back from honeymoon, because they want to see them first (for they read her - DH's brother said he really didn't care ..)

Then she got the master of ceremonies bloke to come a stop DD having another go on the drums. There was load music over the hifi system at thia point and DD could NOT be heard over it...

Oh and lots of other minor things...shes always been a bit weird. Insists on spending every Christmas since they've been together with her parents (surely everyone takes these things in turn?) or she "gets really upset" - how old is she, three?

Really didmt like her parents either - As I'm sure I've said before DH's mum is deaf so these big gatherings can be very difficult for her - she can't lip read everyone at once and people get drunk and forget to be looking at her when they talk etc. This couple made absolutely NO effort to talk to her or keep her involved. And anyone who is mean to my lovely mum-in-law can pretty fuck #%^* off as far as I'm concerned.

Ha my iPad edited IN the swearing. Bizarre!

That's a pain about the not being able to lift thing Lady, can she crawl up onto your lap or can DP lift her onto your lap. DS1 used to snuggle up to me when I was snuggling with DS2 it kind of made him feel less usurped.

SL I was out all day so no time for cheesecake today but I'm hoping to get to the shops for some bits tomorrow.

Oh dear Kiwi, your DBIL seems to have married a psycho, I feel for your MIL, thank goodness she has you. I have a terrible fear my boys will end up with someone like her. I can kind of understand the photos, but only.just, but the drums should be up to the band whether they mind that, and to not talk to the PIL.

Forgot also to add Lady that maybe O shouldn't pander to her daddy and ignore when he gets disappointed

Me again! DP is just feeding DD2, I know she is mine she is just SO cute with her fuzzy hair and little squeaks. But lawks, what a day.

Despite my best efforts, O is still very angry with me. Not with her sister, she seems quite happy with her. Just upset with me. She wants to read and yet, as soon as she brings a book over to me, she hurls it at me. She comes over wanting a cuddle then when I try to cuddle her she hits and kicks me. Then she just sits at a slight distance, looking upset and cross and crying. It is absolutely heartbreaking. We have had the odd quarter hour of quality time but it all hit rock bottom at 6pm when DD2 was crying for a feed, DD1 was screaming at the top of her voice and I was crying because I had tried to cuddle DD1/bring her towards me and had pulled all my stitches the one side (I hope I haven't done myself a mischief, am a bit scared). Any advice/tips welcome but I am guessing it is just time and patience and she will realise Mummy isn't going away again and will be able to pick her up eventually...It is making me feel absolutely terrible. I feel anxious at the moment anyway, I suppose it is just hormones - just about stupid things like does DD2 know who I am still as I haven't been able to cuddle her like I did in hospital, as I have been trying to deal with DD1.

I have got Lactulose but after the intense diarrhoea I am not allowed to take it until they get the results back from growing the stool culture (nice), which will probably be tomorrow, as there is a possibility it could be a hypersensitivity to the Lactulose they gave me in hospital. (Don't think so though, and anyway the glands in my neck are like golfballs).

Rubes - can you believe I DIDN'T order that stuff and it was high on my 'to do' list. I am ringing them tomorrow though and have started taking my arnica from last time until I can get the Surgery mix. Interestingly, I have loads of black bruising (don't remember that last time), marauding swelling above my scar and then up to my tummy button (wasn't that bad last time). I am sooooo much sorer - just because of scar tissue I guess.

Clothes - I think buy one good pair of jeans or good black trousers in whatever size you are now, because if they are a good fit they will make you feel good and versatile right now. I mean, you look fabulous in my opinion and not even as if you have had a baby but I know what it's like when you aren't the weight you want to be, whatever that is. Plus, it will be great as you see them get looser. But there are probably other things apart from leggings (though get those too) which are stretchy and which you could buy in your normal size now).

Kiwi, I think the horridest part about your SIL is the bit about her parents and your MIL. I think it speaks volumes when people don't have consideration for others in those situations - disgusting. Small wonder their daughter is a selfish twonk, eh?

Veggie, your day out sounds so lovely - Delft, Leonidas...how much longer is your Mum there for?

SL, thanks again for the pic of you and DD and the Dahlias! And how nice that you could meet up with NJAN. Is there anyone now who hasn't met one or other of us? I think it might only be DB. DB, I am going to have to come by the North West? (It could happen!)

RIght, DP is off to bed and I had better go too.

Happy birthday kiwi. I hope you're ear infection has sorted itself too. Damn right you shouldn't be ill on your birthday.

House of ill here - DS, DD and now DH have taken it in turns to have nights vomiting and both DCs now have proper coughs and colds and feeling very sorry for themselves/cross with the world. Gah. Winter...

LadyT I really feel for you. I remember sobbing about what I'd done to DS after DD was born. He was sulky with me too. I think it is a whole mix of things - and Avo is v wise - if you just think about the amount of change/difference it's no wonder she's feeling a bit grumpy. And I think when you're the Mum you are first in line for the rage when they're not happy with the world. And both mine are a bit impossible around any developmental leap. Looking back I think I found the Tanya Byron book quite good at this stage, and that you're right, lots of love is the answer, but also a bit of patient ignoring/not making a big fuss. I think the theory is the more upset you get the more it magnifies the whole thing for them. So if you can try not to let her get to you. Which probably sounds impossible. And you're dealing with all this post-op stuff on top of it all. Hope you start to feel better. And Dahlia sounds adorable. I'll go and look on fbook later.

Better get off to work. Good days all. xx

Ouch Lady, didn't the consultant say she was quite high, maybe they had to have a bit if a Sybs style rummage.

Sorry about DS1, I think that is what DS2 would be like if I had a baby now. Maybe you could start a thread about it. I would suggest lots of presents bit that is prob not a good idea. I think.giving her attention and patience is all you can do.

Lady: I remember being in panicky tears after I brought DS2 home at how I could possibly cope. It's tough but you will all adjust far quicker than you think. Re cuddling DD1 are slings a no-no with a CS? Because a close-fitting wrap sling could help with covert snuggles. I second what Urbane says about the developmental spurt. Mine were incredibly grumpy whenever they'd mastered something new, and walking is especially traumatic as they realise they are becoming more independent which means a big jump in separation anxiety. Not the best timing, of course. If you do think a wrap could be of use I have a spare one knocking about that I could post.

Lady Sorry hear that O is still upset with you. I think DP has got to remember that she really is still a baby herself. I can't imagine how DS would react if I had a new baby with me. I suspect he would have tried to throttle it tbh! So she is really coping very well with what is a huge change for her. The general grumpiness could well be a developmental/age thing. DS is an unbearable grump at the moment who seems to hang off my leg all the time. BTW DD2 is beautiful.

kiwi Your SIL sounds awful (as do her parents)! Some people are total freaks about weddings. Happy birthday hope the ear has improved.

veggie How are the ills today?

Happy birthday Kiwi!

Still some lurges hanging around Deidster. Mum has just gone for a walk to see if she is feeling better, but might give her a few days off sightseeing. DS1 has a mysterious stomach ache and had a temp yesterday. he didn't poo at all yesterday so thought he may be constipated. He's been to the loo to poo three times already so maybe it was, random about the temp though.

Avo how is DD1?

Hello everyone,

Happy birthday kiwi, hope the ear is feeling better. How rude of your SIL and her parents. Shame on them for not having good manners.

ladyT Fantastic news on DD1's walking. Sorry to hear things are so difficult. Sounds like you are doing the right thing to me. Perhaps when O is napping you could just lie down and have a cuddle with DD2. It must be hard missing out on the snuggles. I'm not on FB so would love a pic via email if you have a minute.

JJ Congrats on having a girl!

spot I loved your name list. Nathaniel is a super name. Henry is top of our list at the moment.

Well I'm feeling a bit better . I am still being sick on and off, even with meds, but have felt really hungry this weekend and food tastes better than it has of late. Hopefully this means I've turned a corner. My stomach is huge today. I went to collect my prescription and couldn't find my mat exception certificate, the pharmacist looked at my belly and said 'that'll do!'. I'm not quite 13 weeks yet .

Happy Birthday Kiwi! Hope you're feeling better.

Lady black and blue? Wow sounds like they really rummaged around in there. Arnica is (apparently) very good for bruising etc and the surgery mix has a load of that in it. How long did it take to get her out? Once they opened me up dd was out in minutes, then they were just getting placenta out etc and having a look around and condition of muscles and all that. Do you have external stitches then or something? Things will settle with dd1. Try not to worry too much about it all until you are up and about more.

Jolly are you going to find out the sex? I was massive much earlier with dd than with ds - that 2nd baby already all stretched thing I guess.

Just back from a local toddler group . it was great and there were loads of toddlers there. DS was quite good with the other kids albeit a little timid but played nicely. Bit too obsessed with a toy pram and a dolls house for my liking, but later he was driving cars into the house so it's all good He wouldn't join in with the drink and biscuit in the attached room as he didn't want to risk losing his pram I'm guessing, and he wasn't too impressed with the singing at the end but otherwise loved it. I'm a bit that I didn't know about it and it's less than half a mile from my house! Another one on Friday we'll go to as well which will be great for him so quite pleased.
DD's marathon sleep was another random one, and only did 12-5am last night but still, not complaining!

Hi All!

Lady - sounds like you're going through a bit of a rough trot, you poor love. It must be so hard for the first one to adjust to having the new one around and not getting all your attention. Particularly when you can't be as physical as you were before DD2 arrived. I'm so sorry and hope it gets better soon. I'm sure it will once O gets used to D.

JB - hurrah for sickness turning a corner - here's to hoping!

Rubes - so glad the sleeping sounds like it's going ok with DD. And DS's new playgroup sounds ace. We're off to one this afternoon if it's raining. Otherwise 1 o'clock club, as always! I love em.

DD2 is now officially off her dummy. I threw them away. Had a lovely weekend with my parents - they are so helpful - it's hard to remember that they're nearly 70 and I mustn't let them get too tired. But Mum is so hands on, it's amazing. And Dad loved taking DD1 for a walk every day to pick flowers. I'm not sure who enjoyed it more! DD1 went out like a light at each sleep and couldn't have been happier. It was bliss.

DD2 is now officially sleeping through the night! She went down at 6.45 last night, I gave her a dream feed at 10.30 and she didn't stir til 7.30 this morning. Was marvellous! No getting up to put the dummy back in. Oh yay! Such heaven. And it was brilliant in Kent, because I could ignore her without feeling too bad. I knew she wasn't going to come to any harm, and Mum is quite strict about things like that and wouldn't let me rush into her. I felt like a total dirtbag, but it's worked so far... YOu bet tonight will be hell on earth!

kiwi - HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Hope you are feeling better?

DD1 starts nursery for 2 full days a week tomorrow. EEEK!

Hi Beans - well done on the dd2 sleeping situation! Bloody fantastic. I'm holding out hope that these few random marathon sleep nights will mean she's almost there! Will be chuffed if she sleeps through this young. DS was 5 or 6 months. Well done on the de-dummying too. I haven't been giving dd hers for about 3 weeks now. I gave one to her originally when she had awful bad wind as it helped settle her when nothing else would but she always spat it out after about 5 mins anyway, so I figured she didn't rely on it too much, and seem to be right as she settles fine now. I've been meaning to ask you for AGES now what that place is you go to, as a good friend of mine goes to a 1 oclcok club and I'm going with her next week. I think it's in Battersea or Clapham but I can't remember exactly. She said it's from 1-5 and I just have to give them her postcode where is the one you go to?

Right hopefully ds is napping and dd is too now so going to thik about what to have for dinner [superwife] ha! Then I may even get on the cross trainer and by that I mean plug it in position it infront of the TV and then convince myself It's "set up" and I'll be able to "use it tomorrow"