Dec 08 Ladies - Waiting for BabyLady & the usual grumpy tots with stinky bots

[DeidreBarlow]

Hope this is ok...

Many happy returns of the day, Kiwi. Hoping you are on the improve and that the ears are less sore.

Thank you so much for the advice/reassurance, which is comforting as well as helpful. DP has taken DD1 out for an hour or two so I have had some lovely cuddle time with DD2. He also put in a lot of time with DD1 this morning. She was cross all over again with me when she woke up this morning (the child has the memory of an elephant) but has improved over the course of the day. I daren't use a sling, Effie, though it's a lovely thought. It actually hurts a bit to carry DD2 (which it shouldn't) and even to (and this is quite funny) LIFT MY BAG OF PAINKILLERS. What a sorry state! Oh, I like Tanya Byron, Urbane, she always seems quite sensible.

Veggie, yes, the consultant did say DD1 was high and DD2 was even higher and she didn't think I ever would have managed the regular route, but didn't mention rummaging though I did notice it seemed a lot more of a struggle to get her out Did you not have any bruising, Rubes? I just don't think I had any (externally) last time. This time, from the front it honestly looks like I am wearing a pair of big dark purple pants No external stitches, though, the incision all looks good. The consultant phoned me this morning to see how I was, which is nice as I know she was on holiday this week. I told her about the pain still and I have to monitor it and the swelling but if it carries on I will have to go back and see her colleague. I have a local midwife supposedly coming round today but they weren't all that hot around here last time, and as I recall I think that's more to look at DD2 than me.

JB, I am so pleased you may have turned the corner with the sickness. Oooh, I am really crossing fingers. I will email you pics as I have your email from the list we used to have, I have checked.

Rubes, that sounds brill about the toddler group! Must admit I feel more enthusiastic about going to things like that now that DD can actually walk. 12-5 sounds good, quite bearable.

Heavens above, I don't know that I would have done without DP. He is also being good with the tidying and cleaning (he isn't normally). Right, need to do a bit of online shopping.

X-posted with you, Beans. Big huzzah on DD2 sleeping through! Gosh! And your weekend sounds absolutely lovely I would love to go to Mum's but I need to get a lot better first and also I think DD1 (much as she adores my Mum) probably needs a big chunk of time just being with us at home and in the normal routine.

No, no bruising at all Lady, in fact I think it healed / looked better quicker than the last time. This time they did subcutaneous dissolvable stitches but first time around they did a line (single nylon stitch) which they pulled out at day 5, and I think having no external stitches was what made it heal faster as the little bobble things at the ends I had with ds used to get irritated and sore as they'd catch on underwear etc, but this time nothing. They cut the last scar out - is that what they did with yours? I'm thinking if you are bruised so badly they must have done a lot of rummaging to pull her down and out etc, but still, wasn't an emergency so would that make much difference if they weren't rough? I dunno, I'll ask dh later. Did they mention they had a job getting her out?
yes ds really enjoyed the toddler group, but the walking has it's down side in that he can run away when he know's it's home time and he's got to get in the buggy! he didn't do that today though, and I was banging on to one of the women about how much of a handful he is at the m,oment, and then he was just this total textbook well behaved toddler and made me look like a total drama queen. (They need to come to Tesco with me!)

I had the subcutaneous dissolvable stitches too - but I had them last time. I can't see the last scar so they must have cut it out, the obs did mention a couple of months ago that they would get rid of it. They didn't mention it was hard to get her out - only my perception in comparison to last time. The only think I have been told about of possible relevance is that thing about having quite a bit of scar tissue around my bladder.

I am probably sounding like the worst advertisement for a cs in the world!

On another icky note, I ballsed up the anti-clot injection on Saturday night but last night I was braver and actually followed the advice I had been given and it barely hurt! So if anyone needs to do these on themselves in the future, I have some do's and don't's which I will keep to myself for now so as to protect those who don't want to think about it.

Happy birthday Kiwi :).

Jolly: lovely to hear from you. Let's hope the sickness will go for good.

Lady: was the mw any good? I have no knowledge about c sections but you sound like you are still in too much pain. I think you are right to cocoon DD1 for a bit. The good thing is that they do forget pretty quickly at this age. And it is lovely when they're old enough to interact with each other. DS1 was trying to teach DS2 how to say his name the other day.

yes perhaps its to do with scar tissue as I was told that it can take longer to fully heal the 2nd time around due to ST from the first so guess it depends how much of that there was.
Yeah those injections are quite painful. I'd have never been able to do them myself when I had ds. It was hard enough for dh pin me down for them, let alone me doing it to ME! Not a chance! In the end he would sneak up on me and jab me real quick after I'd had several wines [nice given I was breast feeding ]. They are quite painful in the tummy so he did a couple on my arm last time too to see if it was easier, but wasn't. Then fortunately they got accidentally thrown away I was up and about quick last time too though so therefore they aren't really needed, and this time the hospital didn't give them at all - not even the night I was IN still but perhaps if you are still moving about slowly you will need them. You are very brave doing them yourself however I suppose if you're not a wimp like me and phobic about needles it's a a lot easier.

What are you buying with your online shopping? Or is it just the boring groceries?

I agree with Effie - It seems like you are having way more pain than you should be. Can you get the Dane to do a house call especially given that you went private?

Lady did you mention the bruising to your consultant? How soon after the CS did you have the first heparin injection? Please keep them updated on this pain. I'm not sure that the MW will be much use but mention it all to her, some of them can be quite clued un and you might get a good one.

Lady I just asked DH about the bruising and he asked if you knew if you had much scar tissue from the first one. If so, he said more scar tissue means more cutting needed therefore more bleeding, & bruising and more pain as more dissection needed. I asked if normal, and he said could be normal for her, but is fine as long as the bruising doesn't spread a lot. Try to get up and about and move etc otherwise will take longer to heal, but don't push it too much and def don't lift anything or anyone at ALL. Also (not that you're old) but the younger you are, the quicker you'll heal, so It's a couple of years on from dd1 etc etc

ladyt Its strange that you are still having quite a lot of pain - what did the MW say? I had more bruising with DS than with DD, but was pretty much contained to about an inch or so around the cut area iyswim.

beans that is FAB news on the sleeping.

DD was pushed to the ground by a'bigger boy' at school today She has an awful graze on her knee which actually made her rip her tights. She said she couldn't tell the dinner lady who did it as he pushed her from behind and she wasn't sure who did it. i walked home glaing at every boy in a red jumper that looked 'bigger'!

My Grandad isn't doing to well at the moment either. For those who can remember he has a variety of ailments, including cancer. But he has never had it investigated thoroughly as he said they can't cure him and he is too old to be a guinea pig. Anyway, he is on lots of morphine and hasn't been out of bed for 3 days. The palliative care team are coming on Wednesday to discuss 'things'. My poor Nan(who is 80 herself) just can't cope really - he's a big man and if he falls there is no way my nan could move him, shes about 6 stone dripping wet! Mum and dad are in Greece, and I know she is missing having my mum there to help take care of him. The whole thing is just so sad. He really needs to be in a hospice I guess. I know he can't go on forever and I hate seeing him in so much pain but its makesme so sad to think that he's not really got long left now.

Happy birthday Kiwi! Hope you're having a lovely day and your ear's better. SIL-of-sorts sounds a bit barmy frankly. More stories please!

Lady - have to agree it does sound as if you're having more trouble with the recovery than should be, MrRUbes theory seems pretty sensible. Do you have an HV (I know...!) who might be able to help with any medical care you need? Am so sorry to hear about O being tough, again agree massively with what's been said, she's still just a baby so it's very hard for her to understand, no matter how many books with new babies you read it's still going to be different for her.

JB glad to hear you're feeling better at last! Now just the general exhaustion to deal with, eh?

Jam welcome back - what an old trout that lady on the plane was Hope the boys are less pukey by now.

DB and Rubes - the name Eden is going through a bit of a mammoth popularity phase here, at the Tuesday playgroup we go to (when I get my arse in gear) there are 3 under 2, of whom 2 are girls and one a boy. Except one's pronounced Ayden and the others Eeden. V confusing Summer I like Ruth but when combined with Sarah it gets a bit too Old Testamenty. Helena v nice, and of course the mother of Constantine the Great as well :) We did ponder Katherine, since I studied Katherine of Alexandria, and while there are bazillions of Kates amongst our friends, very few children with the name.

Beans crikes, can you come and be night nurse for all of us when our nipsters arrive?! Sounds like a minor miracle going on there well done you and dd.

Avo no offence re GPs, they can't all be as fabby as DH That chattering sounds lovely though must get tiring... like SL we have more of a stream of consciousness, mostly just nouns eg "apple juice! Nana! ball! window!" It's very helpful in case I forget what anything is She's turned into a bit of a parrot as well, learned 'peacock' very quickly and now imitates a heck of a lot of words without necessarily knowing what they mean (eg when I accidentally said 'sh*t' after stubbing my toe )

Rubes well done on learning the different sleepy noises so fast, blimey it took us months to realise that we didn't have to leap up at the first squeak. Sounds like Saturday night was a bit of a miracle for you as well :)

SL/NJAN really glad you had a good meet-up in the gardens, sounds like lots of fun :)

DB so sorry to hear about your grandad, are there any local friends of theirs who might be able to pop round and give your nan some help? Do they have any church/social club younger friends with a bit more physical strength? Sending him lots of white light, and you and your nan too.

We havea bidding war in pursuit of our house!!! Having been on the market for four weeks with no offesr at all we have had three today. Buyer X offered, Buyer Y topped him so Buyer X offered the asking price. I thought we were being a bit cheecky over the asking price so I am very glad. The only problem is we have nothing we wish to offer on ourselves so we can't build a chain. This is a real problem as we could lose our buyers if we don't look like we are going to move quickly. Please all keep your fingers crossed for gorgeous properties going up for sale in my neighbourhood.

JJ - I love Katherine as a name. I considered Katherine shortened to Kitty but DH thought that was twee. Kate is very classic and nice.

Urbane - So sorry to hear that you are in a house of ill. Has worked calmed down now?

Beans - Yay to the sleeping through! What a star. Neither of my kids were anywhere near sleeping through at P's age.

Lady - How have things been this afternoon. Is DP being more understanding of O? Dahlia looks gorgeous on your FB photos. I can see you and your DP in her.

Diedre - That is horrible about your DD being pushed over. Was it accidental or was the boy targetting her? I would crumple if that happened to DD.

Nolda - I don't know if you are lurking but we have the long awaited dentist appointements tomorrow. I am dreading it. I will keep in mind your advice as I physically restrain DD.

Jolly - So glaad that you have turned a corner with your sickness. I did not realise you were 13 weeks already. Have you had your scan?

Right, off to walk home thanks to the striking Tube workers. Its miles. I reckon it might take 2 hours or solid walking. Not amused at all.

Well, after all that, do you know I think I have turned a real corner with the pain this afternoon. I feel quite good Rubes, I don't know if I have a lot of scar tissue from last time - it wasn't mentioned, except the stuff around the bladder. The obs knows about the bruising, of course, because when I was in hospital it looked like I was wearing black rather than purple pants and she just winced and said "Oooh, some nasty haematomas there" which is just a posh word for bruise, right? But she didn't say anything about them and I was too dumb to ask why they were there. I just thought - bruising, so what. I know it's nearly two years ago but when I came home last time I was a bit sore but really not too bad. Ah well...Your DH is becoming quite indispensible to me and my family, Rubes, it's like having one's own personal physician/carpenter And the bumper pack of clothes arrived this afternoon, thank you SO much! They are really useful and just the right size for my little nipper Online shopping (still haven't done it) was actually some CDs for me (there are about four I would like - Gorillaz, I am Kloot, Dizzee Rascal and the new Ben Folds if anyone is interested, which I strongly doubt ) Mind you, I was listening to Barry Manilow before I went off to London, it was smashing. I slightly fancy Baz, which worries me. He always seems like he is quite humorous, in a really appealing way.

Moving on...

DB, grrr, down with bigger boys who push little girls over. Oh, I am so sorry about your Grandad. I do hope he can rally a bit again, he has done so many times before. Lots of white light to him and your Nan.

JJ, I was going to suggest Katherine! Wish I had now as I would look all psychic.

Heparin - Veg, I had one every night I was in hospital and you have to continue for seven days post section, and 7-10 days with the stockings. It's a blanket policy, I am not high risk or anything. Actually, Rubes, I think it hurts much more in the arm! So much less painful into flab, but you probably haven't got any!

If I tell you that, when the midwife asked me how the pain had been and I told her, she pursed her lips and told me that a section was major surgery and not a walk in the park, it will probably tell you all you need to know about how useful her visit was. Shame really, as the midwives I had in hospital were brilliant. But as we all know, there is this dickhead element, as in any job I guess. Anyway, DD2 is ok and has only dropped 80g since being born and that's all that matters.

X-posted Avo - superb about the house! So exciting! Start combing all the websites for lovely new properties near you once you (eventually) get home. Yes, DP has been much better with DD1 today in terms of giving her lots of time. He let her have the run of Sainsbury's with her little pushalong (which, even though she can now walk, loves to use as she calls it her 'car'). Not sure of the wisdom of this but she really enjoyed herself, apparently

Hi Lady - ahh we like to help Like how I say 'we' when it's all him! glad the clothes arrived. Got a couple of things I forgot to add which are practically new but I will send that with dd2's present if it [hopefully] arrives tomorrow! Is the Royal Mail on strike too? Geez
Glad you are feeling a bit better. Those are pretty good docs you had so can't imagine they'd miss anything. Just keep them informed. I so wish you experienced the nice experience I had, but glad things are looking up.

Right, I didn't even go near the cross trainer today but I did actually don the appropriate attire.... all in due course I say. it's the first step. The half mile walk up the hill to the toddler group made me realise how unbelievably unfit I actually am though, which is what prompted donning the workout attire in the first place. Well, that and the shopping trip yesterday

Avo - brilliant news on the house sale. Are you staying in the area then? Do you have any links to houses you're interested in?

LadyT bummer that you've had such a rough time of it this time but great that it seems to be getting a bit better finally. I second what Effie says about the sling (when you're ready) - and I would use a wrap one rather than a Bjorn-type thing as they are so much nicer on your back and for the baby. And agree also with all those who said O needs as much kindness, patience and attention as you both can give no matter how she is reacting, and you especially need DP's full support on this. Oh and I am interested in what CDs you buy - I love to know about people's taste in music & books. Weird how books often get mentioned on here but music hardly ever. I haven't bought a CD in years though - haven't a clue what's in the hit parade these days. Hmm, racking my brains for ageing crooners who I wouldn't kick out of bed. Nope, can't think of any. But in the Just Plain Wrong category I can confirm that I think Clint Eastwood is still a fine piece of ass at the age of 123. Although actually I'd prefer not to think too much about his nether regions now I come to think about it. And you were asking about the house - just a boring semi. Not anyone's idea of a dream home or owt. Very excitingly though I have got a job interview on the same street as I'm moving to. Which would be nice - my round trip to work today was over 4 hours, which is happening more & more often (it's usually about 3 hours which is bad enough), and when I move it will add at least another half an hour on each day.

Avo great news on the house - hope you find something you like soon. Would renting be an option to avoid the chain situation? Hope DD1 is feeling better. On the chattering front, DD never shuts up but I must admit I get a massive kick out of it. DD's language gets better every day and she constantly amazes me with new stuff. I love the insight it gives into them figuring out how the world works. For example she was playing with some tat in a shop on Saturday and I said it was time to put it back. She said "No mummy, I want to buy it". Later on she was playing with some cash and I said she had to put it back on the table as it was mummy's and she replied very coolly "It's not yours, it's mine" (hmm, sensing a theme here). There is one thing that does irritate me a bit though at the moment, and that's the constant pestering for books. Both she and DS have developed an obsession with about 3 pop-up books and follow me around the house demanding I read them. All the flipping time. And I really can't be arsed after the 50th time in a row. I suspect I feel irritated more out of guilt than anything because I don't read to them as much as I think I should would like.

Right I am waffling and also being nagged to see to the DCs so will make the rest quick:

Kiwi Happy Birthday

JB good to hear you're feeling a bit better.

DB sorry to hear your grandad's poorly again.

Oh bugger really gotta go - big hello & sorry to all I've missed

Oh and forgot to say LadyT Dahlia is gorgeous.

Hello, PD!
Just a quick one. PD which sling are you talking about? I tried 3 different ones (wrap style like that one you use that took me an age to out on) and also the baba sling which got promptly returned. they all really hurt my back, but my Bjorn I love and is approved by the dh so have stuck with it. DD hated being sideways as well (perhaps with the wind issues) but I remember you and dd really got on well with your really wrappy is there even a baby, how the hell did you get that on style sling what brand was it?
Great news and good luck on the job situation.

Lady I was thinking maybe the bruising is a little worse because of the heparin & the volterol you've had to have because of the pain. Pubes DH would no better though. It may just be that you bled into the bruised areas a little longer. I was going to say a CS is major surgery but not in the way your MW said it, but just to say it sucks but its one of those things and your dealing with it really well. But as its major surgery you need to really listen to your body and take it easy. I'm sorry DS1 is so sad with it but the less you do now the better. My SIL had to have surgery twice due to scar adhesians post CS.

So tired have prob cross posted with heaps as I haven't refreshed since Ladys post at 6.30.

DD in bed finally. Hurray! But now so bloody knackered I need to go to bed myself. Story of my life these days. Just had a week off work but feel even more run down and knackered than I did before. I need some sun! We were supposed to be going to the south of France but had to can it cos of the house move. Bah!

Hiya Rubes - how's it going? I never seem to get round to saying hello to you on the odd occasion I get on these days. I am rubbish aren't I? So hello! The sling you've seen is a home made one (I didn't make it - I got it off freecycle). It's just 2 (or maybe 3) bits of t-shirt material sewn together - that's it. I used the instructions for the Kari Me off the internet. Not as complicated as it looks but yeah, still hassly compared to the Bjorn. But once DD was in it she'd stay in it for hours and hours at a time, and I'd just pop her in and out of it without taking it off most of the time. Bjorns I think are great for quick trips to the supermarket or whatever cos they are so easy to get in and out of, but I found it very uncomfortable after an hour or so (but I have a feeling I'm not really in the height range it's designed for so that might have something to do with it!). I think with the wrap ones you have to be very careful to spread the material right out over your shoulders - that distributes the weight and stops it pulling on your back. I never got the hang of sideways or bfing in a sling though - bit too advanced for me.

Hiya Veg. I wanted to say something to you but too tired to scroll back and remind myself what it was. I am a zombie. Must get to bed.

Night all!

LadyT - sorry you are having a rough time. On the situation with O, I agree with all the advice about patience and kindness. The one other thing I'd suggest is give her things to do so she can "help" you and the baby - it might change how she sees the situation - less powerless and part of the "management". DD did quite a bit of fetching and carrying when DS was born! It will give her the chance to show off her new walking skills too...

Sorry to just duck in and not do a proper catch up - just feel like I am chasing my tail at the moment. We're doing a lot of touring schools for DD at the mo, which is oddly stressful.

How exciting about house Avo. Wow.

And you too PD - working on the same street - fingers crossed if that's what you want. Bliss. I used to live 10 minute walk from work. Lot to be said for it.

Glad pain is better LadyT.

I hate work with a vengeance atm. Grr. Not least because both my babies are sick and I had to sit in their room working on my laptop tonight. So not got much better. Am thinking of applying for redundancy and doing something less boring instead.

Only really came on to see how you were, and to share my shame of the weekend with you. We were at our local deli (it's like a little oasis of middle class world in the middle of gritty deptford) and I turned round to DD and said "DD you've got ricotta on your dungarees" . What a prat.

Actually it gets worse. we'd gone to the cafe because there's a contemporary arts festival on. some truly terrible mind bogglingly pretentious stuff. And I liked quite a lot of it. It's times like these that I think I have to move back up north instantly or all hope is lost. Because you don't have ricotta or pretentious art in the north, right?

Sleep. Good nights especially to the little ones.

urbane what's ricotta?? Actually I know your shame - for me it's when DS starts tantrumming very loudly in public "But I don't WANT to go to M&S - I WANT to go to PIZZA EXPRESS!!". Just wolfing down my brekkie on the way to work but couldn't resist joining in your misery fest about work. Hating it too. So bored. So tired. Unfortunately I don't have the option of volunteering for redundancy - if I did I'd be out of there like a shot. Instead I've got to wait and see and go through the motions of competing for jobs in the new structure, which I've just found out won't be till early next year so I wouldn't be made redundant till May. Actually the job I'm going for an interview for is along the same lines as what I'm doing now though so I would ulimately probably end up just as bored. But at least I'd be bored locally rather than travelling 3 hours plus for the privilege.

And now I'm late - have good days everyone.

DD1 has just left for nursery for the first time doing a full day - sob! I let DH take her as he was gagging to, and I didn't want to cry in front of her when I got there. The house feels very quiet without her. DD2 wiggling happily on the gym. I have got SO much cleaning to do today!!! And actually, I can just get on with it without DD1 here. But will miss her incessant nattering. She now has 3 of the characters from ITNG to her list of words. Dirty for Upsy Daisy, Pigger for Iggle Piggle and Pacca for Macca Pacca. Good bird!

Urbane and PD - so sorry you're hating work at the moment - what a nightmare. Take redundancy, Urbane! What were you thinking of doing instead?

I'm going to have some real coffee now. Only have decaff in the house as was getting too buzzy!

Lady - hope you're feeling a bit better again today?

Veggie - more tales of your life please!

Rubes and SL - hope the sleeping is going ok. DD2 woke and did a bit of crying in the night, but I didn't immediately leap up and she went back after a few mins. YAY!

Avo - v exciting about the house - would you rent for a bit? That's what we're doing as we didn't know where to move to! It's expensive, but gives a bit of breathing space and means you can get asking price for your house - so probably worth it!!!

Aaah yes, there you go Beans - that's that little whine thing dd does too then goes back off (sometimes) Still 5hrs last night but this time 11-4 then she only wanted 2 oz and went back so going in the right direction.
DD1 will have lots of fun today I'm sure and the day will go so fast (for her) she won't realize it's all day I bet.

Woke with a thumping shoulder. Have taken loads of Ibuprofen already

Aah yes the ole t-shirt material home made sling - I remember now PD. Yeah the Bjorn works for me and her.

Hello Urbane - sorry about work. Hope the babies get better quickly

PD Ricotta is cheese and it's yummy