Sept 08 - Our LO's are nearly 2, and they're hiding to do a poo (is it time for potty training, not until it stops this raining)

[ninja]

I started it!! (I'm going away to London with just DD1 tomorrow so I want to know where you all are when we get back.

3 toddler free days!!

carrie We had a fab time! Definitely helped with my confidence. (You can tell them that our car was the blue muddy brown Land Rover.)

And sorry, but I have to pick you up on " .. you'll prob look back and realise you haven't used the reins for ages and not really noticed it happening. "
Er, no, that's what would happen to you. If MrsA is anything like me that casual confidence stuff is the very thing that's a bit elusive. But like I say, we're working on it.

hopefully and debs Sorry to hear about your dh's job situations

You have a Land Rover?! DS will hold you in the highest esteem, "Land Rover" was one of his earliest words and he normally spots them at a thousand paces!

We were delivering harvest festival invites on our road today, DS got lots of practice at saying "like postman pat" and "can't reach"!

bookmarking

I used to love the harvest festival at school. I am probably the least religious person I know, but something about harvest festival was kind of pleasing in a 'pick and choose the religious bits you like' kind of way (despite CofE school). Also you got to eat lots

I used to have a land rover - best car ever. I think it cost me £250 to keep on the road over 3 years. Our crappy little clio costs us more than that every year. And I sold it for the same as I paid for it.

FP spot on! I have casual confidence over precisely 2 things: C's sleeping and her eating. Sleeping was sheer good luck, eating was thanks to BLW and mumsnet. rest of the time I'm a 'what if' all the time.

I suspect it's cos I lost my dad very young and my mum isn't around (well she is but is not a supportive mum, so I feel constantly bereft without being able to grieve and move on. I know how that sounds but you really have to know my mum, or C's grandma as i call her) and so i am very aware that bad things do sometimes happen without warning and I want to have a strong bond with C and be supportive.

It doens't help that one of DP's ex's died suddenly and was found dead on the couch the next morning. Well, I say ex but she was his gf at the time and only became an ex by passing away.

So we're both in the 'bad things can happen' camp, which doesn't help.

However, on a positive note, DP is in Glasgow, back on Friday and I am due to ovulate this weekend. Our relationship is going really well finally after a bit of a bad patch and I have got DP's promise to SWI for 5 or 6 nights - going to be quite tiring I think but we're going for it.

MrsA I am a dreadful worrier too, sometimes I can get a grip and manage some 1970's benign neglect and let them muck about in the garden, the rest of the time I'm triple checking their bedroom windows in case they are abducted at night and even hiding balloons in case they choke themselves on the string .

We only have a top stair gate now, that's mainly to contain DD during the morning / bedtime routine as so far she has been fine on the stairs. She's still in her huge cot bed, with a bit of luck she can stay in it until next summer, DS only came out of it at 3.2 , he wasn't bothered about getting out of it and even when he did climb out he just vaulted it, he was too tall to do any damage to himself.

hopefully and debi really sorry to hear about your DP / DH's job situation .

I'm going to try and be good and drag the dc's to the harvest festival service on sunday. The lady vicar is making it a short, child friendly service so it should be do-able. And we will sit by the toys in the corner .

I hope our harvest festival isn't this Sunday. A few weeks ago the kids planted seeds after the service and have been told to bring them back to the harvest service if they've grown. They have but not enough to show off yet. I did also wonder if they are planning on giving the old/needy people in the community 20 coriander plants each insead of the usual beans and spam

Didnt have a chance to talk properly to dh last night (I went for a run then there was very important football on the telly) but he seems ok. I think it could be a good thing as it could give him a kick up the backside to find another job. It looks like the company he works for are going to gradually change their structure over the next few years meaning that a lot of the 'proper science work' jobs will go. So I think he should try and get out now otherwise he'll always have redundacy threat hanging over him. He's had 1 interview for a job that he only went for because he thought he should. It'd be ok I think but it's an hours drive away and he doesn't like commuting and I don't like the idea of having to drop the kids off at the childminders at 7.30.

Ha!!! I have confidence over...NOTHING My 2 are constantly shifting the parental goalposts....just when something seems sorted it changes. sigh.

I keep reminding myself that if we all didn't care so much, we wouldn't worry that we're doing/not doing the right thing.

Parents who choose to drag their kids up rarely have confidence issues or worries IME. A lot of the time they don't even realise what they're doing.

Gosh that sounds a bit smug, sorry but you know what I mean. I'd never post that on the wider boards though
I'm a bit fed up of the 'WTF' type of people.

Urgh, no further developments with DP's job - he went to an 'evidence gathering' session today (which he was told was the actual disciplinary hearing, but clearly wasn't). It really does appear that the guy who is accusing him has literally no grounds for even giving him a verbal warning - it's insane! Anyway, next meeting on Monday. On the plus side, since he's suspended on full pay, we're treating it as lots of free family time!

MrsA I know what you mean about the fact that if we're worrying then we're probably doing ok.

hopefully that's great that you can see the silver lining on your DP's job situation, hope you really enjoy the free family time :)

Having my first really bad day for a long time. I don't know how much it has to do with DS turning 2 tomorrow, he's such a grown up boy! Although he did fall asleep on me this morning which was cute beyond words [blub] One of my friends had a midwife appt this morning and apparently the midwife asked after me and wanted to know when she'd be seeing me again?!! Cue usual conversation about how I should have more children and its my turn next, cue me dashing off to toilet for a little weep and managing to hold it in til I got home and could have had a jolly good cry.

And breathe. And get on with parenting the children I actually have.

Sorry that was a bit self indulgent

Not self indulgent at all Carrie. You feel how you feel, and you have every right to feel sad.

TBH, it annoys me that people often feel it is ok to ask others about starting a family or about having more children. It's not their business and you never know people's reasons for not having (more) children.

I suppose I'm having a rant on my behalf as well, as after ds2 was born people would always assume I would have another baby. Maybe they automatically presumed that because ds1 had died I would have another two babies to make up for the son I lost?

If only they knew how much talking, analysing and even more talking we done to come to a decision to give ds2 another sibling. But then people just don't think do they?

On a cheerier note (!), we had a lovely long weekend in Shropshire, but ds's sleep was AWFUL. He didn't have much sleep in the day and by god did we pay for it in the evening.

It's bloody freezing here tonight and we don't have a boiler at the moment. Brrrrrrr.

No boiler?! You poor thing, its been bitter at night.

You're right, people don't think. At least if they do think, they come to the wrong conclusion, that because I've already had two children it'd be a piece of cake to have another.

We're just working on DS's tractor cake for tomorrow, I'll post pics when its done!

Carrie that's one of the things this thread is for- to get your frustrations/rants/angers etc out. I'm guessing thre's not many people you'd want to talk to in real life about how you're feeling and we all need to get stuff off our chest sometimes.

It took me until I had 2 kids (and probably reading about peoples experiences on mn too) to remember to think before coming out with statements like "why haven't you had any more babies yet?" I know that's insensitive and I hope I didn't upset anyone too much.

I've crumbled and put the heating on for a couple of hours tonight. The 1st time this autumn (and that's the first time I've admitted it's autumn!). It been close to being put on a couple of times but being a hard scot I resisted

Proud mummy moment- ds1 got a superstar certificate today from school for having very good manners. He did tell me lots of children got 1 but I'm choosing to ignore that bit

Proud mummy moment 2- ds2 pulled a funny face while not eating his tea tonight and I announced 'he's going to be sick', scooped him up, carried him to bathroom, stood him at the exact right angle in front of toilet where he was then sick getting every bit of it into the toilet! I was quite impressed with my skill!
2 minutes later he was running around and happy! (DS1 was sick earlier in week so the sickness wasn't a surprise)

Now I'm on MN I wouldn't dream about asking when a couple is going to have children / or if they are going to have DC 2, 3, 4 etc.

debi you're a southern softy now .

I'm toying with the idea of tidying my bombsite kitchen before bed, or hoping that if I get a good nights sleep (what's that then?) then I'll be up before the dc's and can have a tidy while I get breakfast ready. Oh, the excitement of it all.

well, dh and I were up til 11.30 last night putting tobys b day present together - a toy kitchen from IKEA. Why do I buy things from IKEA??? why???? Swedish sadists!!

On a positive note, Toby is 2 today and he loves his new kitchen

Off to get baking for his birthday tea later...

carrie I know just what you mean...having 2 boys I get the whole "ooh, will you be trying for a girl then?" If only they knew how much I long for another child, boy or girl!! Its just not going to happen for me. I couldnt go through losing another

HOWEVER, I am very blessed with my 2 dc and just cant believe my baby is 2!!!!

Have a good weekend ladies x

PS Heating on as we speak!!!

Having children is such a personal thing it is easy to offend with innocuos comments. I get it the other way around, '4 kids you better stop now' or from my mum 'you CAN'T have anymore' i love being pregnant and the birth and newborn stages but i know more kids is too impractical. That said everyone else can butt out. If you tell what to do too many times i will do the opposite.

Debi you are becoming a 'southern softie' our heating doesn't come on till Hull Fair week, 2nd week in October. Although i admit it is bloody cold some nights

debs God, I am just the same! thats how Toby is here - pure stubborness and refusal to be sensible

Happy birthday Toby.

Oh my gosh, we've just been posted the minutes of DP's 'evidence gathering meeting' and there's loads of stuff missing from the minutes (mostly things that make DP look good). How is this happening!?

Happy birthday Toby

Also, have received the date of my 20 week scan, but not a 12 week scan appointment (am currently 13 weeks). Methinks I may have slipped through the system somewhere. At least scan appointment card has the number of the ante-natal unit on it, so I can phone and talk to them - MW was v unhelpful.

Hopefully have you spoken to an employment lawyer?