Sept 08 - Our LO's are nearly 2, and they're hiding to do a poo (is it time for potty training, not until it stops this raining)

[ninja]

I started it!! (I'm going away to London with just DD1 tomorrow so I want to know where you all are when we get back.

3 toddler free days!!

No, we're going to call ACAS first thing Monday though, so hopefully they'll be able to help a bit. We're just so clueless as to how to proceed - I can't believe how strange his work are being about it all, seems a total over-reaction.

Finn is 2!!! He's been such a treasure all day. His little face when he opened his present and squeeled "fire engine!" with such delight...he's carried it round with him everywhere all day. He's been really good about opening presents and understanding that he can play with them later and letting us put them aside, and seemed to really enjoy his party. We had 15 kids and 4 babies but it seemed to work! The adults (including us!) were all in total shock at how nicely the kids played, loads of the older kids (bearing in mind oldest were only 4) were doing things like little jigsaws with the younger ones.
So as well as the fireman sam fire engine, DS was also given a toy microphone and the v-tech helicopter, both of which he adores. We'll give him his other present tomorrow, and open the last of the cards that came in the post. Whereas DD wants to open all her presents in one go, DS prefers to open one and then really play with it, so we're happy to stretch them out. DD was also really good about understanding that it was her brother's day, and he would like to play with his new things first. It helped that she won the pass the parcel

I sang Happy Birthday to Finn as his lullaby song tonight and my voice totally cracked, I only just held it together. TWO?!! How did that happen!

hello, ages since have done more than try and catch up a bit

congratulations on new babies and pregnancies, and good luck to anyone SWIing.

Claudia was 2 yesterday - has been shouting out "it's my birthday" whenever we passed wrapping paper in shops for a while, and singing "happy birthday to me".
Didn't seem that excited by actual presents though. Her favourite thing was a little bottle of toy milk her sister chose for her, where you tip it up and it looks like it has been drunk. She kept refusing drinks and saying she had her bottle instead all day

she has some terrible tantrums. can fall asleep after them, then wake up and start where she left off!

dd1 just started school - was doing OK til Thursday when apparently burst into tears half way through the morning saying she wanted her mummy , and was crying a bit when it came to say goodbye on Friday

also sorry to hear about the worries over jobs debi and hopefully

Hopefully the only advice I can offer, and I'm sure ACAS will say this, is he must not go to another meeting in work without a witness of his own to back up minutes/evidence. Also, are there any colleagues in work willing to back him up or discredit the allegation.

I am so sorry you are both going through this, as if you haven't got enough on your plate.
Hugs.

Hopefully My dp went through a similiar situation at work. A new supervisor took a dislike to him and every tiny thing he did something wrong he jumped on it. DP finally got the sack over being 2 mins late to work, the clock machine was set a minute early so he was actually 1 min late. Unfortunately some supervisors are utter twats and if they want you gone then you have little chance. The thing with the minutes is bad, dp said in his meeting aboyut the clock machine and offered to show them but they refused and that was missed off the final minutes. Has he got a union rep who can back him up on things like that?

Nice to see you back splish how are things?

What were you doing on here so late MrsA? I thought you would be pinning down your dp to the bed

I would give the ward a ring on Monday Hopefully and they will probably fit you in for a scan next week as they like to scan as close to 12 weeks as possible. I've got my date through for my 12 week scan - eek. It doesn't get any easier the more times you do it. I still fully expect to them to scan me and say that it is all a figment of my imagination

I always crack when I sing songs to ds when it's bedtime as well. I get a huge great lump in my throat. There are also some childrens books that do that to me as well

bookmarking but am not allowed to stay as all the toys are a mess and I need to sort them out. I am considering bribing the DC's with choc buttons to stay in one place while I de-clutter and sort things out for the NCT sale / charity.

hopefully it sounds like there's some wise advice on here for your DP's situation. debs that sounds awful what they did to your DP I can't believe people can actually be that unreasonable and mean :(

splish how lovely to hear from you! Sorry the start of school isn't going so well though :( How are you doing, are you still in the refuge and is that ok?

Scans - as I didn't get a booking in til 11 weeks and the paperwork took ages, my dating scan with DD was at 15 weeks, and with DS was at 16 weeks. So my dating and 20 week scans were within a month of each other and that was it til I met him in the flesh!

DS is still loving all his birthday presents. We were holding a few back as he loves to play with each present he opens, but DD made him play 'pass the parcel' in the lounge while we were unaware in the other room...and used it as an excuse to open his remaining presents!

DD really properly starts nursery tomorrow. What with my bad day on Friday, the emotion of DS turning 2 yesterday, I'm not sure I can cope! Its my first time of leaving a child in professional childcare other than ballet lessons and kids church where I'm swanning around anyway. To just take her someone and leave her there....I'm going to be such a mess, particularly as she's so excited and will dash in without a backwards glance!

Hopefully My booking in scan was at 17 weeks as we left it that late in getting the ball rolling with the drs.

Carrie Robyn would of happily waited before opening her presents but DD1 was a bit too eager and helped her open loads of them.
For a long time DS didn't get birthday and Christmas and one year it took him over a week to open his Christmas presents. We left them in the corner and he would just pick one out' open it and play with that all day. He got the hang of it a couple of years later and was tearing through his pile, and everyone elses's.

Hopefully I hope the chat with ACAS goes well.

I'd also consider speaking to an employment lawyer if I were you. I think most will give you half and hour free prior to any payment.

The thing with the minutes is really worrying and you need to know how to proceed. Has he challenged them?

I did it I did it I did it! I dropped DD of at nursery and didn't cry!!! She started true to form and wet her pants while waiting outside despite having gone to the loo just before we left, but then happily went in, gave me and DS a big kiss and cuddle and off she went. I waved to her through the window on my way down the drive and she gave me a massive grin and wave and got back to painting. I'm SO proud of her :) I was so nervous all morning, not about her starting, but about the high liklihood of me crying! I welled up a bit, but did not walk down the drive sobbing as I feared I would.

DS however....he was not happy that he didn't get to stay at nursery! I don't remember him screaming when I've put him to bed at lunchtime before! Think he's gone to sleep now though. So I've got two hours to myself...what to do...oh yes, there's still party cake, but not for much longer

Well done carrie my ds2 cried too when we dropped ds1 at school on his first day too. He was desperate to stay. This morn ds1 told me I wasn't to go in with him, he'd go in himself, so I guess he's settled!

I've got 2 hrs of peace too this aft while ds2 sleeps before we go & get ds1. After feeling rough all yest & then up on the loo half the night I've not done much at all except catch up with sky+.

Well done Carrie. DD keeps telling me she wants to go to school with DS bless her.

2 bits of good news! Finally have dating scan booked for weds afternoon, so we'll get to find out if there's a baby in there or not.

And DP has spoken to ACAS and his dad's solicitor (who has some knowledge of these kinds of things) and they both think he's got a v robust defence and that if his employers try to sack him for this they'll be in a legal minefield. So all looking a bit more positive.

Hopefully - good luck with the scan, and with your dp's work situation - must be so so stressful

Hi Debs and Carrie - no, left the refuge last month, spent a few weeks renting a house near the sea while building works done on my old house after the flood in winter. And have been back in my old home in Croydon for 3.5 weeks. Ex is being so so,not as bad as thought might be - was rather dreading returning but no choice. Injunction is valid til next month anyway.

School - this morning she started crying and clinging when i said time for me to leave, and as i left classroom could hear her crying "I want my mummy" . But she said she wasn't sad the rest of the day. On other hand she doesn't want to go back either....

bookmarking

hopefully I hope all goes well with the scan tomorrow.

splish I hope the transition is going well. Do you plan to stay there long term now?

I need help please. DD is going to her first birthday party this weekend for a 2 year old boy from her nursery. What do I buy for a present? I assume some experienced mums will tell me there are guidelines for how much I'm supposed to spend, types of gift to avoid or whatever? Any guidance appreciated!

Also I need to do a sneaky recce when I drop DD at nursery this afternoon as I don't know what this boy looks like! I will ask the nursery staff to point him out today so that we avoid the embarrassment of giving the gift to the wrong boy on Sunday.

fanny are there any clues on the invite as to what the child likes, such as a thomas sticker, or a picture of a tractor? To be very safe I'd go to tesco and spend around £3 on something like a tractor and trailer, train, toy microphone or similar. The pop up toaster from Tesco is a great 'safe' present for girls you don't know well! HTH, I'm sure other people here have far more imagination!

Day 2 at nursery school and DD went in without a backward glance...DS screamed "I want to go to ballet!!" I think he's confused with what activity we were dropping DD off for, coz nursery looks so exciting...I think....!

Put DD's name down for school today, want her to go coz she'll love it, don't want her to go though :(

fanny I agree with Carrie. Look for a clue on the invite and if there isn't anything go for a vehicle or toy kitchen stuff or Thomas, Pat etc.
DS1 was invited to a joint party a couple of weeks ago which I had a slight issue with- the invite was from both cildren but he was only friends with 1 of them so I felt I had to get 2 presents. I spent about £2.50 on the 'non-friend' (found something reduced from £5 so looked even better!) and about £3.50 on the friend but again it was a reduced thing that was meant to be £7. For another party last week I spent £5 (reduced from £10) as it was a closer friend.
Sainsburys can be good for toy bargains.

Carrie does that mean your dd will go to that school or do you still have to apply through the county too? Great that she's going into nursery so happy- don't be surprised if you get a wobble next week when she realises it's not just a one off thing but if she does it'll only be temporary.

Hello splish hope your dd settles into school quickly too. Is she in for full days? presumably she doesn't really know anyone there does she? It won't be long before she makes friends.

Hmm, well no clues there as it is a generic invitation printed by the venue (soft play). If it was DD I'd go for a book as that's what she gets most excited by, but is she weird unusual in that respect?

Fanny I think books are usually a good bet - most kids will look at the pictures. From his friends T received crayons, which I thought was a good safe one, a book of animals (the alphabet with an animal for each letter), some homemade scones (by very domestic mother and toddler duo). I ate the scones, they were way too yummy to waste on T

DP had his disciplinary meeting today. Sounds like they have absolutely nothing - apparently they kept trying to kind of lay traps and seemed to be hoping DP would say the wrong thing, but he had a tight script and he stuck to it! Am v proud of how he's stood up for himself without compromising his work ethic or begging for his job. Anyway, he's still suspended on full pay, and we should find out the decision before the weekend.

Shitting myself about scan tomorrow

Good luck for tomorrow hopefully x

re; presents for boys; trucks, cars and thomas the tank stuff is always reliable!

Toby had a great b day and when we all gathered to sing happy birthday to him he grinned and clapped He is such a sweetheart Ds1 was fab too and they and my nephews played outside in toys new playhouse all afternoon.

Am tired now though and having the windows sorted out tomorrow - hurrah!

At tobys second party - yesterday - there was a 10 week old and a 12 day old....am more broody than ever

hopefully Pleased to hear your DP's day went well. Will be thinking of you tomorrow, I'm sure it will be fine.

fp I often buy books as presents as I'm crap at wrapping up weird shapes. IMO for small children you can get away giving colouring books / pencils / play doh etc. I stock up in Wilkos / sainsburys / poundland and have a box of emergency presents stashed away. Waterstones often have 3 for 2 on books and I sometimes do a big order on Amazon and stock up. And I have also taken DS to a party and had no idea who the birthday boy / girl is .

Good to hear from you splish, I bet it's lovely to be home again .

DS is playing up at the moment, he's been hitting and being very hard to control (at home and nursery). The SEN lady at nursery is going to do some observations on him over the next few weeks to see if we can figure out a way to calm him down. They said he's bright but something isn't right so hopefully we'll figure it out. TBH I think it's all about Dad dying as they were really close .

Fanny -i think things like pens and playdough and colouring books are good too, as won't matter if they already have them

Debi - dd1 did 7 days 9-12, 5 days of staying til after lunch, then yesterday was first full day. This morning was horrible as she was clinging on to me and crying, but she did say later she didn't cry for too long. But she says she misses me all day. some children know each other from the pre school there, and others know each other because their mums are friends. Apparently she's friendly with everyone, but no one in particular. She told me that the fact that she cries so much shows how much she loves me... can't wait for the day she happily waves me off!

Meglet - it's good to be home in some ways. But don't like knowing ex is not far away, and miss living near the sea.

Feeling strangely broody too, Bec, bit foolish considering single status! Not to mention advancing years!