The Green Menace

[WiseHare]

The Daily Mail's Investigations Unit, a crack team of 'journalists' who once spent three weeks proving that a Labour councillor's dog had looked at a Palestinian flag, has uncovered the truth: the Green Party is not, as previously believed, a collection of people who think buses should run on time and perhaps we shouldn't boil the ocean. No. They are "the Green Menace".

Not since the Turnip Winter of 1916 has Britain faced such an existential threat from produce. Consider the evidence:

Exhibit A: The Suspicious Houseplant
You bought it from Ikea. You named it Trevor. It has since grown three inches and now occupies a position from which it can observe your television. Coincidence? The Mail Investigations Unit would like a word with Trevor. And also with you, for harbouring him.

Exhibit B: The Hedge
Your neighbour's privet hedge has been getting ideas. It used to know its place. Now it's encroaching.. creeping, one might say. The word "lebensraum" has not been used, but only because hedges lack the vocal apparatus.

Exhibit C: That Weird Moss Situation Around Your Car Windows
A clear radicalisation pipeline..first the moss, then the lichen, then, before you know it, your Vauxhall is attending conferences and voting on motions about international law. You'll try to start the engine and it will simply quote Frantz Fanon at you.

The motion in question, for those who wandered past the headline into the actual words, concerns whether one particular nationalism should be treated as any other nationalism. This is, apparently, indistinguishable from "backing Hamas terror attacks" in the same way that noting Tuesdays exist makes you personally responsible for everything that has ever happened on a Tuesday.

But nuance is not the Mail's concern. Nuance is, itself, a kind of moss. It gets into the cracks and makes things complicated. Far better to print THE GREEN MENACE in a font size usually reserved for declarations of war and royal deaths, and let the reader's amygdala do the rest.

The Green Party may or may not pass this motion and it may or may not become policy. The specific wording concerns legal and political concepts that reasonable people can and do disagree about, thoughtfully and in good faith.
But that's not a headline, is it?

THE GREEN MENACE is a headline. THE GREEN MENACE shifts units. THE GREEN MENACE means your nan will ring you worried about Zack Polanski, who she's fairly certain was in that film with the computers, and why does he have a megaphone, and should she stop buying broccoli just to be safe.

The moss, meanwhile, continues its advance. It asks for nothing, explains nothing.
It simply grows, slowly, around the edges of things, while Britain's press furiously investigates whether photosynthesis is woke.

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N.B: No vegetables were harmed in the writing of this piece, though several were looked at with deep suspicion.

I find it often goes over the edge into a sort of comedy superhero villain speak.

I was thinking of posting the links @Ereshkigalangcleg to the other Green Party pages, but thought that the OP could find them if genuinely interested. Especially as they’re knowledgeable enough about forums to talk about reply and thread turnover rates. And I think the answer to being genuinely interested in FWR discussions on the Green Party is ‘no’. They should’ve posted in AIBU.

It's entirely reasonable to post into the most active area in the assumption it'll reach the most people and create the most debate.

Seriously? You'd have posted it in the dog ownership topic if that had happened to be busier? There is a conflict in the middle east topic that is, understandably, extremely active at the moment, full of vicious Islamophobia and peevish Reform supporters moaning about the Greens. Your post might have had some value there. Instead of posting it in the feminism board and then objecting to feminist responses as groupthink.

As for the "amusing to watch" , you've no idea how much fun it is to observe the complacency of the many 'newcomers' to this board who come here to enlighten us. Little Red Riding Hoods with a basket of home-baked satire for their feeble nans, who turn out to have big teeth.

"it was appropriate to post ageism and sexism"

Incorrect. You are seeing persecution where it doesn't exist and then taking that as an excuse to respond with aggression.

That is your error, not mine.

Seriously? You'd have posted it in the dog ownership topic if that had happened to be busier?

😆

Quickly getting the measure of this board...

I see we are all just middle aged mums who are too stupid to recognise ageism and sexism now.
Let me go and tell my PhD examiners to revoke my degree.

Quickly getting the measure of this OP.

😂

I see.

I think the DARVO has become clear now. Instead of discussing your post from a feminist perspective you just now want to accuse anyone who points out your own actions as being the aggressor.

You wanted debate. You posted on the feminism board yet you don’t seem to understand feminism at all and now accuse people who object to your sexism and ageism (very lazy ‘satire’ tools).

Well done. You have created debate. If it wasn’t what you wanted, you should have did more than the very superficial level of research you did before you posted.

Yes, there's a particular kind of "Buffy meets Skeletor" idiom that pops up from time to time.

It's reading week at some universities. Go do some reading, OP!

The OP would have posted this in the Dog owners and thread and then accused them of derailing and aggression for pointing out the issues with the post from a dog owner’s perspective.

The entire point was to get attention apparently. But only the type of attention that the OP wanted, which wasn’t considered with any depth when posting sexism and ageism on a feminist thread.

We are middle aged muppets raging against the world with our pitchforks apparently.

And… we imagined it all too.

Gosh, this has been an enlightening thread. And they say satire is a dying art.

your nan will ring you worried about Zack Polanski, who she's fairly certain was in that film with the computers, and why does he have a megaphone, and should she stop buying broccoli just to be safe.

There you go, @WiseHare - ageism and sexism in your first post. "Those daft old biddies getting all confused."

On the Feminist board we don't let casual misogyny like that stand unchallenged. Even when it claims to be satire.

My son is delighted that Polanski is doing so well and thinks it shows optimism and political engagement from young people.

I see his point and I joined the Greens myself to vote for Shahar Ali. But the way they have dumped environmental focus in favour of identity politics goes against everything I thought the Greens were founded for.

Look at the chaos in Holyrood when they power shared. Destroying women's rights and no progress on climate change.

So early on a Monday morning too!

What ideology do I supposedly have?

Preferably by the deep green resistance. Who definitely know what a woman is.

No - it's the weary and tedious experience with new posters who dump a somewhat incoherent op, demand that responses are "specific" and provide "verifiable evidence"
And then follow it up with tropes about how the board operates despite having allegedly only been on here for a few hours. 😄

Remind me someone - what type of person seeks out a feminist board and then makes demands about how women must respond - and if they fail to comply with said instructions, states they're guilty of "conspiratorial thinking"?
There's a word to describe that. I wonder whether Duggee has a badge for it? 🤔

What is your connection to the Green Party, OP? Your posts read as propaganda, rather than regular discussion

It is a Feminist board. It was a strange choice for an overly positive satire’ ish post about the Green Party. Okay so you’re in support of them, fine, but discussion could have proceeded more productively if you weren’t so prickly right from the offset.

And you are clearly being condescending and patronising in your responses to others taking a view that is different to yours eg A voice of sanity amid the cacophony of this board. Thank you. Cacophony? Really? How did you think that was going to go down? But whatever.

Was it AI concocted satire?

The energy that AI consumes is a major concern.

Ah I see Reddit have sent their best again

I honestly have no idea why you're all so riled. I'm a genuine poster.

Oh yeah could well have been AI. That would explain the self-congratulatory note and the lack of editing.