Islam is breaking my marriage, is this right?

[AnotherRandom]

My husband and I have been together 10 years and married for 5. He was a Christian but converted to Islam about a year and a half ago. I am a Sikh.

He has told me recently that our marriage is not valid anymore (according to Islam) and that for us to stay together I would need to convert.

We love each other a lot but I feel uncomfortable with this. I feel like I'm being pushed into making a massive decision about my life to save my marriage. It doesn't feel right to change.

He said he doesn't expect me to convert over night but that I should consider the religion. It's all too much for me. I am happy with my belief and my faith in God but Islam is not a way of life that fits in with how I live my life and how I want to live my life.

I don't even know why I'm posting. Is there no way our marriage can continue to work? We have a child and the thought of separation is hurting me so bad.

He won't even share a bed with me anymore or be intimate with me anymore :(

AnotherRandom this sounds absolutely terrible. I really hope you are getting some sort of support from your own family and perhaps your own faith community? Not necessarily in theological ways - sounds like it would only make things worse - but to support you as a person and your children?

I really hope you get the job but if you don't, keep looking for another. I'd agree with WhereIs that he may be having a breakdown of some kind.

You don't have to read anything you don't want to. Is he going to read the holy texts of your religion? I'm sorry but he is breaking up your marriage. You can't capitulate to this utter nonsense in order to preserve an abusive relationship. If you feel some wifely duty then at most just skim read it. I cannot imagine giving religion this status in my life, like many posters I guess this sounds like life on another planet.

He has lost the plot... I sit with muslim men who aren't relatives, as do my female Muslim relatives. Dear God, I've even had businesz meetings with some and, shock horror, shaken hands with theologians and mullahs.

He is talking crap - either self deluded or being led along by some complete weirdo. Self centred, self important, self pitying.

You can't make him see sense. Its like an illness.

You can read and memorise every word in the Koran - it won't make a blind bit of difference. He will argue every part you cite for his being wrong. He is using it as an excuse to scaffold his own dilusions. He sounds ill...

Hi OP. I'm not sure I have anything enlightening to add but I just wanted to let you know I echo what everyone else has said. I'm Muslim and it really seems to me that your husband has got the wrong end of the stick. Islam is not about breaking up families and controlling those around you. I'm no expert but the Islam that I believe in is a tolerant religion. I don't think breaking up a family in the name of religion is an Islamic thing to do.

On another note - this 'imam' sounds like a right weirdo. Some people manage to become imams without much education or insight, just a lot of bigotry and narrow mindedness. Perhaps your dh would consider talking to another imam?

I'm sorry you are in this very difficult situation. Unfortunately your dh sounds like he is not a nice person to be with and that is the real problem rather than the religion. I hope you find a good way out of this. I'll be thinking of you xx

I'm sorry but he is breaking up your marriage. You can't capitulate to this utter nonsense in order to preserve an abusive relationship.

This, I'm afraid. He is ending your marriage and I hope you take this as an opportunity for yourself and your child rather than a failure. Good luck.

Use this as an opportunity to build a new life for yourself. I am so sorry that you are going through this, it sounds like your husband has been brainwashed. It might be worth speaking to the new Muslim project in Leicester. They are very experienced in dealing with the various issues that converts and their families face.

www.newmuslimsproject.net

How are you now OP? Are you allright? What happened with his 'deadline'?