In the vein of "Chester draws"

[ShatnersWoodwind]

On a local selling page:

"Chabby Chique bedside tables".

😂

"I bought one of them fancy 'geeshas' (quiche) for me tea". - I used to know someone who pronounced Ciabatta as Ky-a-batter. I know it's foreign, but....

Also don't get me started on the number of people who pronounce Chorizo as Corizzzo/Choritso. The STAFF in a local deli do it. i once asked for some Choreetho and they had no idea what that was.

I'll never forget around 2002 my Mum's best friend (who never swore) saying;

"Right ladies, can I tempt you with some FUCKA....Fuck...FUCker, FUCK

wait, let me get my specs...

FUCKERCHEEUH!!!

It's like a fancy garlic bread from M&S...

I think I'm saying it right...

Fuck uh chee uh. Yep. Fuckercheeuh."

Anyway in place of any way.
Anymore for any more.

All of the above and the endless could/would/should of also pisses me off (and hurts me to type it).

Yes! See also maybe instead of may be.

They can both be correct though...

www.dictionary.com/e/may-be-vs-maybe/

@MyDeepZebra

"They can both be correct though..."

Maybe I'll be there.

I may be there.

Swap them round and they will be incorrect.

Written by DC....human beans

If I have a library book which has the word onto in it, I get a gentle pencil and make a mark.

Now, it's Sunday tea-time. Should I get tea or spend the next half-hour wondering about ' in to' and 'into'?

Someone on another thread currently has an incling.

Sounds painful.

Sometimes people simply mis-hear words. I am not deaf and never have been but when I was young, before my tonsils and adenoids - I think - were removed, I wrote something at school which made me laugh a few years later.

Tbh the first time I met quinoa I said 'kwin-oh-a' until I heard it spoken, and learned to say 'keenwa'.

If I hadn't learned some Italian I expect I'd say 'fo-cack-i-a'.

I like the joke of 'three piece shite' - many pages back - but I can see that the 'u' and the 'h' are near one another on the keyboard.

Christ! I'd never heard of this til now, how completely awful!! 😂

What’s wrong with onto? Do you mean you make a mark when it’s used incorrectly?

I don’t think choritho (or Ibitha) are ”correct”though. I think it’s an awful affectation. Out of all the foreign words and names that are loaned into the English language these two are singled out for sudden lisping. I don’t see Budapest getting the same treatment like.

I think it's 'on to'. He put the book on to the table.

I make a little pencil mark between the on and the to.

Yes, I expect someone will come on and say I am a cow and she's got a masters in English Language and I am ignorant and fol-de-rol.

I don’t think choritho (or Ibitha) are ”correct”though. I think it’s an awful affectation. Out of all the foreign words and names that are loaned into the English language these two are singled out for sudden lisping. I don’t see Budapest getting the same treatment like.

Or Barcelona.

Yes, like we pronounce Paris with an S and have a completely different name for Firenze. (A former boss told me he went inter-railing in his youth, saw the station name 'Firenze' and stayed on the train.)

Afaik the only English people who sound fine pronouncing Spanish placenames properly are those who are also Spanish e.g. Michael Portillo.

Sorry...that would be me.

"Onto" is absolutely correct in the context there!

You aren't a cow or ignorant though 😁

A former boss told me he went inter-railing in his youth, saw the station name 'Firenze' and stayed on the train.

Except the main railway station in Florence is the end of the line, so your boss may have been embellishing his confusion to make a good story!

I think it's 'on to'. He put the book on to the table.

I make a little pencil mark between the on and the to.

Yes, I expect someone will come on and say I am a cow and she's got a masters in English Language and I am ignorant and fol-de-rol.

There are contexts where 'onto' is incorrect, but your example isn't one of them. In that case 'onto' is being correctly used as a preposition.

I'm a STEM type so you don't have to believe me.

https://www.dictionary.com/e/onto-vs-on-to/

Except the main railway station in Florence is the end of the line, so your boss may have been embellishing his confusion to make a good story!

You're quite right - I think the full story was that he and his GF had been sleeping and they'd clocked the sign and gone back to sleep!

@ErrolTheDragon I’m glad you’re with me on this 🙌 I heard Marina Hyde on The Rest is Entertainment saying Ibitha only the other day and was reminded of how cringey I find it. Live and let live though! As long as the lispers extend the Ibitsaers the same courtesy 👍

It’s not always ‘on to’.
’Onto’ can be right too.
I don’t have a Masters in English, but you can check it out yourself anyway 😊

New one in AIBU;

"She sounds tray annoying."

😂😂😂

On my local Lost and Found facebook page:

"Key found at the reatel park"

I don’t think choritho (or Ibitha) are ”correct”though. I think it’s an awful affectation. Out of all the foreign words and names that are loaned into the English language these two are singled out for sudden lisping. - I was told (don't know how true it is) that certain parts of Spain use a very lisp-y pronunciation - because a ?King? of Spain had a lisp and everyone adopted it as - well, he's the King! Hence Ibeetha, Choreetho, Thumo (Zumo - juice) etc. It's not wrong, or affected, it's just the way some people sometimes speak.
If the Deli staff said ChoriZo, I'd be happier, but it's the awful ChoriTZo! It's not Italian!

Re Firenze and the like - my DP had a bit of a tantrum when we went by train to Aachen (Germany) - the train (from Belgium) listed stops all the way to Aix-la-Chappell. This is Aachen in Belgian/French. Its's also known as Aken in Dutch - Aachen is on corner of 3-countries. It's very confusing, and DP thinks all place names should be in English - even in their own countries!