Please bare with me

[TheShellBeach]

See also "I am defiantly not pregnant".

[VanillaSnap]

I instead of me. For example They told my wife and I to come.

[Pyjamageddon]

I haven't finished reading the thread but I need to post before I forget! An acquaintance when I used to be on Facebook would always make sure to update her status so we all knew she'd been invited to a 'hen due' 

I also used to work with someone who, without fail, would write 'being' instead of 'been'. So "the faulty computer has being fixed" or "the technician has being this morning". It was infuriating!

[picklemewalnuts]

@TheShellBeach I get accents by holding down the letter.
On a keyboard it's a specific F key with the letter you want accented.

In practise (practice? My usual aide memoire isn't helping) I copy paste from somewhere else.

[feathermucker]

I wrote something on a whiteboard at work that included the word bear (as in bear with us). People keep correcting it to bare. Planning on using permanent marker!!

[whoisbruno]

My Mum is such an amazing women. It's WOMAN

[Pyjamageddon]

Just thought of another one! I keep seeing this on TV / hearing it on the radio and from people in real life. Saying 'A' (long A) before a word that begins with a vowel. "I was looking to book aaaay...entertainer" for example. When it's on tv/radio I always shout "an!"

[VanillaSnap]

@whoisbruno

My Mum is such an amazing women. It's WOMAN

I find the opposite. So many people (Americans usually) say woman for women. Like trans woman are woman, or they talk about woman's rights. You hear this a lot in debates on YouTube.

[BSintolerant]

OP, what have you started? I feel like I’m in the seventh circle of hell after reading these. Here are my contributions to our torment. 😈

”Those ones” and “these ones” - surely those and these are sufficient?

”First come first serve” (give me strength!) reminds me of tennis and makes me want to ask for new balls. It’s “first served” not serve, or severed (the latter may also prompt a request for new balls).

Another example of past tense failure is the misuse of the verb “to text”, e.g. “I text you ten minutes ago.”

Make it stop! 😆

[Netaporter]

Ooh my people!

tonight the Local FB Hun is concerned about a fox that ‘looks like it has been shawn’ (it has Mange judging by the picture) and I don’t think it is called Sean/Shawn/Shaun..

Also, can’t bear ‘The team’s morals is low’ 🙄

[LittleRedYoshi]

@feathermucker

I wrote something on a whiteboard at work that included the word bear (as in bear with us). People keep correcting it to bare. Planning on using permanent marker!!

I feel your pain! I once had to make a display which included the word 'liaison' in big letters and I lost count of the number of times I was informed that I'd included an extra 'i' by mistake...

[TheShellBeach]

He passed.
No, I think you'll find he died, love.

One day I am going to learn empathy for people who say "passed" instead of "died".
On second thoughts.............

[TheShellBeach]

I found it necessary to take a furniture dealer on FB to task when he advertised a bed "with 4 draws under".

[TheShellBeach]

@LittleRedYoshi

I feel your pain! I once had to make a display which included the word 'liaison' in big letters and I lost count of the number of times I was informed that I'd included an extra 'i' by mistake...

See also people who are incapable of spelling Isaiah.

[soundsofthesixties]

Phased instead of fazed. I see this all the time on Mumsnet.

[Netaporter]

Does being irritated by being told someone ‘pacifically knew’ something also count?

[TheShellBeach]

@Netaporter

Does being irritated by being told someone ‘pacifically knew’ something also count?

Yes yes yes yes yes yes.

[QuinkWashable]

Bear as in Grrr, not as in Kate Winslet.

I forget where I got that, but it's how I always remember.

[TheShellBeach]

"I posted with regards to my boyfriend..."

Aye, did ye? It's "with regard to".

[Netaporter]

Also our local hotel (according to the sign outside) serves Tea’s and coffee’s. 😬

[Cheeseandabsolutelycrackers]

'Renumeration'

People assume because pay = numbers that it must be 'num' rather than 'mun'

[WestendVBroadway]

I often see people on Facebook asking for advise on certain things, or conversely asking other people to advise them on some matter.

[WestendVBroadway]

^^ Sorry, bloody autocorrect. I meant asking people to advice them on some matter.

[LubaLuca]

I used to live near a shop making and selling wedding dresses, with beautiful, professionally painted signs on the front advertising their 'bespoke bridlewear'.

[TheShellBeach]

I looked out the window.
I went out the door.

NoNoNoNoNo!!

[AdoraBell]

In real life BIL insists that should of is correct. SIL gives me the rage with we’re go to (insert location)

DH isn’t much better are you ready go? when we leave the house 🤦‍♀️