Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Parties/celebrations

Whether you're planning a birthday or a hen do, you'll find plenty of ideas for your celebration on our Party forum.

Original poster

spill the beans on great/ awful weddings

138 replies

allthegearnoidea · 10/07/2007 20:53

Hi all,
I'm planning my wedding for August next year and want to know the things that really bug you at weddings and things that you really like. Anything you feel is really unoriginal, or things that made you go ooh, aaaah!
help me make it great for all!!

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 10/07/2007 21:35

Aloha, that all sounds so beyond cool!

dassie · 10/07/2007 21:36

Re photos - write a list of what you want (brides family, grooms family, brides friends etc) to make sure you get one of everyone. Make sure the group photos are close to wear the food and drink is. Do the group photos first and then do the couple shots.

Should be quick and efficient that way.

And if there is a part of the venue you really like. Make sure you have a couple shot there.

SlightlyMadSpider · 10/07/2007 21:36

Oh and another bad point was where families were seriously mixed up. In one case a 12yo and 9yo were seperated from their parents and any aunts uncles they did know

aloha · 10/07/2007 21:36

Mind you, once got asked to a total stranger's wedding reception in Cornwall when on holiday (they took pity on us as only customers in bleakly deserted restaurant) - and it was totally non-ponce and fab. Just a big family hooley with High Ho Silver Lining. Not what I would have had, but such a laugh and my feet were throbbing from mad dancing.

Original poster
allthegearnoidea · 10/07/2007 21:37

aloha- wish i'd been invited gto your wedding! sounds like it was fab. the kids are such a mixture of ages will prob make up a box of toy/ sweets for each of them to have just before speeches!
how do i tell dad to keeep speech short, very kindly, he is really looking foward to it, but was very cringey and longt at sis' wedding!

OP posts:
dassie · 10/07/2007 21:37

Do both posed and natural. At least with the posed you can make sure you have a photo of everyone. If you leave disposable cameras about you will get lots of natural photos!

I think the natural ones can sometimes look a bit posed!

Miaou · 10/07/2007 21:37

I think these have all been mentioned, but:

Make sure if you are having a buffet that people with kids get to go up first. My db1 had a buffet and all the kids were last up (having already waited around for 3 hours after the wedding) - there was bog-all left and they were just about crying with hunger .

Don't have a disco/dj. They turn the music up too loud. At db2's wedding, several guests and db2 himself asked the dj to turn it down, but he kept turning it back up !! Loads of people left early because they couldn't stand the noise/hold a conversation - such a shame. If you want some kind of dancing, then have a ceilidh (that's what we did!) - great fun, everyone joins in and gets chatting

Mixing tables can be ok - did this at our wedding - but instead of Table 1, Table 2 etc we named them after WTP characters (I cringe at this a little now, 13 years on ) - apparently it proved to be a great icebreaker as it gave everyone something to talk about!

A little present for the kids to play with at the table is a good idea - a friend of mine did this at her wedding - I think my dds got a stamp art set and a jigsaw - not only were they thrilled but it was a great way to keep them occupied whilst waiting for food.

aloha · 10/07/2007 21:38

the house was so, so beautiful. We had a houseparty and most of our guests stayed overnight - we had a big dinner party the night before with fish pie and everyone pitching in.
I dream of renting the house again one day. Will do it for a birthday, I think.

dassie · 10/07/2007 21:40

And if you sit people together who don't know each other - make sure they know if there are any sensitive subjects that shouldn't be discussed. it can be really awkward otherwise if someone accidentally puts there foot in it (eg 'I suppose you will be looking forward to organise your daughters wedding', cue daughter running off in tears because she'd just been jilted)

AlbusPercivalWulfricBrianSun · 10/07/2007 21:40

DP and I were invited to a wedding where I knew bride from years ago and had met her sister once but no-one else. Friend specifically asked sister and her husbandto make us feel welcome and sat us on same table. It was brilliant and even DP enjoyed it, when I knew he was kind of dreading it.

Original poster
allthegearnoidea · 10/07/2007 21:40

miaou prob being thick, what is WTP?!

OP posts:
BettySpaghetti · 10/07/2007 21:41

I meant to add that the 2 best weddings we have been to were the ones where the brides and grooms were relaxed and laid back about the whole day. They had considered their guests enjoyment.

On the other hand the weddings where the couples were, shall we say "a touch anal" about everything ( everything had to match perfectly, all timed to perfection, years spent planning the day etc etc ) were the weddings that were quite dull and not particularly memorable.

SlightlyMadSpider · 10/07/2007 21:41

Winnie the Pooh

Kathyis6incheshigh · 10/07/2007 21:41

Make sure you have a slightly drunk uncle who goes around making inappropriate comments and, if possible, a pass at someone.
It won't be a proper wedding without.

daizydoo · 10/07/2007 21:42

If you are getting a friend or someone you know to do the photos on the cheap, make sure you trust them 100%. We were really disappointed with our photos. but couldn't really say anything as someone we knew had done them for us at a discounted price! Also watch the mother in law! We asked her to play piano during signing of the register - she took this as an invitation to make a little speech and sing a song and 'crown' DH Dont ask!! This meant that we were late to the venue and had to eat before the photos and then it was raining so bang went our nice outside photos. Having said that it was a good day - enjoy yourself!!

Miaou · 10/07/2007 21:42

We had a fantastic photographer. He had a whistle!!! . He was mega-fast at doing the group shots (in fact a couple of people didn't make it out on time!!) but as a result they were non-posey ones. When everyone was talking he blew the whistle, everyone looked up and laughed (he was perched on a stepladder at the time), and he snapped - brilliant photo

If you are anywhere near Skipton I will give you his name - he consequently did photos for db1, db2, family shots and a couple of christenings I think (I keep saying I ought to be on commission )

Original poster
allthegearnoidea · 10/07/2007 21:42

have a very complicated family, both DP's parents and my parents divorced and remarried and it is def not asmicable, a traditional top table would be a blood bath!
any suggestions for handling that?

OP posts:
aloha · 10/07/2007 21:42

allthegear - people like cringey speeches from tearful doting dads IME. It's sarky speeches from pissed best men that aren't so great. Or a string of endless speeches read from cards or bought from the internet
Agree with the photo planning. I know several couples who don't have a single pic of the two of them together at their wedding! Mine aren't great of us tbh, but a friend did hundreds of candid shots which were beautiful and romantic - little bridesmaids lying down on a jetty peering into the water, a pair of pink hats peeking over a hedge, three chaps strolling over the lawn with croquet mallets slung over their shoulders, and various couples staring into each others' eyes. I put 32 of them in a couple of those multiple aperture frames and they make a great snapshot of the day. Lots of my stepdaughter, my goddaughter and my closest friends.

Original poster
allthegearnoidea · 10/07/2007 21:43

Kathy LMAO!

OP posts:
aloha · 10/07/2007 21:44

Family sound tricky. Could you just have no seating plan at all - people just sit where they like (ours was picnic style with rugs on the ground and sun umbrellas, but a chairs and tables for the old and the pregnant) - that way they can choose to sit way apart.

Original poster
allthegearnoidea · 10/07/2007 21:45

nope east sussex. so anyone with local contacts pass them on please!!

OP posts:
aloha · 10/07/2007 21:45

Agree with Kathy, you need someone to provide the scandal and gossip for the morning after!

Weasleybug · 10/07/2007 21:45

Be generous (or at least not mean) with alcohol !! The only issue I've had with a wedding was when they served 1 pre dinner drink, 1 glass of wine with starter, 1 glass with main then 1 glas of asti spumante for toast.

Whilst I'm not saying you should pay for unlimited amounts (although thats obviously best ), lots of wine with dinner (and not asti) is always appreciated .... by me anyway.....

Weasleybug · 10/07/2007 21:46

ooh I got married in east sussex - whereabouts are you ?

daizydoo · 10/07/2007 21:46

Could just have a top table with the 2 of you...