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Parties/celebrations

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spill the beans on great/ awful weddings

138 replies

allthegearnoidea · 10/07/2007 20:53

Hi all,
I'm planning my wedding for August next year and want to know the things that really bug you at weddings and things that you really like. Anything you feel is really unoriginal, or things that made you go ooh, aaaah!
help me make it great for all!!

OP posts:
francagoestohollywood · 10/07/2007 21:47

nice cocktails, nice food and lovely friends. Keep it informal

fruitful · 10/07/2007 21:47

tell people what to expect in terms of timings and meals etc when you send out the invites - so they can plan, esp if they have kids

make sure non-alcoholic drinks are available and obvious - have downed a mouthful of disgusting bucks fizz thinking I was getting orange juice, too many times at weddings!

if there are going to be speeches, set a time limit! My dad stood up and said "Thank you all very much for coming. I would like to propose a toast to the bride and groom" for which he got a round of grateful applause.

Plates of nice biscuits when you arrive at the reception - cheaper than canapes, fill a hole. I think people are positively grateful for informality at weddings.

receiving lines are good for you to get to talk to everyone but grim for all the people queuing for ages - just make sure you make your way around the room

we didn't do seating arrangements, just let everyone sit with who they wanted - seemed to work. Mind you it was in the Rugby club hall with long trestle tables so that helped!

Favours? Nobody will notice or care.

I asked several friends to take photos with their own cameras and paid for the prints. Other friends have found that you get hundreds of really awful photos from disposable cameras, because everyone fools around with them and gives them to their kids to use.

Don't spend more than you can afford. The memories of your wedding day that you treasure most are not going to be the bits your paid for.

allthegearnoidea · 10/07/2007 21:47

did think about that aloha, then worried about who me and DP would sit with as we would then be deliberately choosing people to be with and don't want to upset anyone

OP posts:
dassie · 10/07/2007 21:47

I would do a seating plan because you could end up in the awkward situation of having unsuitables sitting together.

Have one table for couple and attendants etc, to the left have fathers and their partners, to the right have mothers and their partners.

francagoestohollywood · 10/07/2007 21:47

yes, no seating plan

Weasleybug · 10/07/2007 21:48

we half mixed tables - we had tables of 8 and did 2 groups of 4 and sat them together so they could either get on or just stick to 2 4's.

Miaou · 10/07/2007 21:48

Oh yes - make sure that your room (if you are staying) is kept locked and, preferably, the location kept secret. My bridesmaid, db2 and dh's db2 and best man trashed ours during the evening - I spent an hour in tears before I went to bed because they had filled our honeymoon suitcase with crumbled up weetabix

aloha · 10/07/2007 21:48

I don't think I did sit down at our wedding tbh! But I take your point.

SlightlyMadSpider · 10/07/2007 21:49

But don't overdo the photoplanning. One wedding we were at the photographer didn't guide the photos at all. Instead he had asked Mother of the Groom to list the people in all the photos. So for every photo there was a roll-call

Aunty Doris - over her please
Uncle Bernard coupld you please stand next to Neris...No not Betty - I said Nerris Blah Blah Blah.
Took far too long. A simple description of each photo would have been good enough (e.g. groom & his parents; Bride, Groom and all Grooms faily etc.)

They were also far too long winded as they did hte phots in a random order so people were backwards and forwards. Do all of the photos centred around the grooms family and friends and then do all the photos centred around your family.

francagoestohollywood · 10/07/2007 21:49

we had table set only for older relatives

Heated · 10/07/2007 21:49

Yep agree about not numbering tables. We had pictures (well greeting cards) of famous ppl on clip stands - Garbo/ Hepburn/ Dean/ Monroe etc so that ppl weren't ranked. Not nice for the guests on table 33 like at my SIL's wedding!

Whereabouts in the country are you? Maybe ppl can give you recommendations.

I was told ppl remember 3 things: the location, the food and the dress. Food at ours was amazing - had no idea they were that good - and then later they did bacon and sausage butties, cheese pastries for the veggies, which was served with the wedding cake.

Weasleybug · 10/07/2007 21:49

ooh yes, agree - no receiving line. I had a formal wedding in most ways but no receiving line - painful for everyone concerned but we did make sure we got round all the tables during the meal.

Flum · 10/07/2007 21:50

great wedding: loads of yummy fizz (not real unless you are royalty), no longer than 4 hours, some tasty food, not too many boring relatives that no none knows.

most annoying thing is: spending an hour doign photos before anyone gets a drink (heinous crime), running out of drink, not getting a thank you card for 2 months for your expensive wedding present.

we made our guests work hard by having an afternoon drinks reception and a 2 hour break and then a black tie dinner. Noone was capable of speakingto the parents and PILs by 10pm. mind u they weren't mup to much either.

allthegearnoidea · 10/07/2007 21:50

weasley getting married at bishopstone church and reception at exceat farmhouse both nr seaford.
cheers for all the input everyone, it is really helpful.
we're on a tight budget so any brill money saving ideas?

OP posts:
Kathyis6incheshigh · 10/07/2007 21:50

Miaou - our bridesmaid and best man scattered our bed with rose petals

Roobie · 10/07/2007 21:52

We had a caricaturist at our reception. Was great fun and provided guests with something unusual to take away.

aloha · 10/07/2007 21:53

Very pretty farmhouse! Best moneysaving tip, go to France to buy lots of fizz for v little money. Get people to do things cheap or for free - eg my lovely MIL made our chocolate cake and my stepdaughter and I decorated it with home made crystalised rose petals.
Dh and I sat and planned our wedding in the bath at a country hotel over a bottle of champagne. it really crystallised what we did and didn't want, and helped us save money.

allthegearnoidea · 10/07/2007 21:53

ver asd about crumbled up weetabix, point definitely taken!

OP posts:
Weasleybug · 10/07/2007 21:53

ooh ooh - we got married at Charleston Manor (not CHarleston Farmhouse) which is just up from the Exceat.... Actually we only had our reception there - we had a loooong saga with getting a church to marry us (no real reason other than parishes - no scandal ) but we did actually go to Bishopstone church to see if we could get married there - its beautiful. We actually got married at Saltdean church which is not beautiful but I went there as a child and the female curate was wonderful so we had a very special day.

allthegearnoidea · 10/07/2007 21:53

very sad i meant !

OP posts:
Miaou · 10/07/2007 21:55

kathy!!

SlightlyMadSpider · 10/07/2007 21:55

Yes deffo agree about keys to room. DP was once involved in setting a dozen or more alarm clocks hidden around the room to go off at 15min intervals from 1am onwards.

The bride and groom were not impressed

allthegearnoidea · 10/07/2007 21:56

will people be upset by a pay bar once meal over? can't afford to pay for alcohol allnight!

OP posts:
aloha · 10/07/2007 21:56

Would the venue let you bring your own wine?

UnquietDad · 10/07/2007 21:56

Some friends of ours had a "box of secrets" where all the guests put something in which reminded them of the bride and/or groom and they had to take them out and talk about them in the speeches. It was a French wedding - not sure if this is a tradition.