spill the beans on great/ awful weddings

[allthegearnoidea]

Hi all,
I'm planning my wedding for August next year and want to know the things that really bug you at weddings and things that you really like. Anything you feel is really unoriginal, or things that made you go ooh, aaaah!
help me make it great for all!!

it's lovely there wesley, bet you had a great day

haven't asked aloha, will do though. they just sort of said they can provide a bar, didn't think to provide it ourselves, live near to ferry port so would be easy!

weddings that are far away, through london traffic really really annoy me.
weddings where i have to spend a fortune to attend annoy me to. But if i have a good time, then it sort of balances out.
also, weddings where children arent welcome are just plain sad.
lot s of food is important. and not too stressed out hosts.

I have always been happy to pay for drinks at a wedding. Yes you expect a complimenatry drink on arrival at reception and drinks with meal - but after that (or anything other than wine/bucks fizz) should eb paid for.

slightlymad- that did make me laugh to read that, however i would absolutely freak if it happened to me!

Paid bar in the evening wouldn't bother me - as long as I had been well fed and watered during the day

Good things:

• Disposable cameras on the tables was a good idea, may not be so original anymore but we got some very nice informal, spontaneous, happy photos of all the people and us. They are my favourite photos, as good and expensive our photographer was, the photos looked great but a bit "synthetic" .

• We hired a very creative florist and allowed her to do whatever she wanted as long as she kept the expenses within a specified budget. Forget about the flowers in the church and the reception (people told us they were great but we were so busy getting married that we didin't even see them , she placed tons of rosemary outside the church doors and when we came out, and as everybody had been walking on it, the smell was fabulous. I loved the petals in place of the rice too.

-If you have the time, make a fuss of the prepartion, we had a themed party every weekend with our nearest friends, one for the champagne, another for the wine, other for the first dish, the dessert, the entrees, etc.

• Try your shoes before the event. I tried mine in the shop and ordered, obviously, a new pair.... just to realise when I was dressing up, half a world away from the shop, that... they sent me a pair one size too small.

• Things I would avoid... trying to make it perfect, the only perfect thing about that aproach is that you can be perfectly sure that wanting things perfect may ruin the day and give you plenty of headaches. Go with the flow.

• Things I hate, separating the invitees in different categories: banquet for the nearest family and friends, and buffet for the rest.
  I'm sorry but I would preffer guests to feel equally welcome, being the gf of that friend I haven't seen in ages or my mother, I would rather serve soemthing very simple and unpretentious to everyone than to make such differenciation.

We had mulled wine and mince pies on arrival at the reception venue and for favours the children had chocolate santas and the adults had gingerbread hearts strung on ribbon and hung on branches. Before anyone thinks us crazy - we got married at Christmas! Definately agree about keeping any children appy and amused. Happy children usually = happy relaxed parents.

We had a big cheese board, the cake and fruit platter laid out for after the meal so people could help themselves if they got peckish. That worked out quite cheap.

Also, don't bother giving people a bit of cake in a box. If you lay it out (as above) people can always take some home in a napkin if they really wnat to1

We had a big cheese board, the cake and fruit platter laid out for after the meal so people could help themselves if they got peckish. That worked out quite cheap.

Also, don't bother giving people a bit of cake in a box. If you lay it out (as above) people can always take some home in a napkin if they really wnat to1

isabel, have never heard of seperate banquets/ buffets, that is horrid! we are having same for all and only inviting people we treally love/ like so want them all to feel special!

"Forget about the flowers in the church and the reception (people told us they were great but we were so busy getting married that we didin't even see them "

very good point. And if there are more than 1 wedding on the day someone else will have done them - but they may not co-ordinate or you may get asked to collaborate/accept what first wedding has chosen. TBH they aren't noticed.

One wedding I went to they had hundreds of roses and another flower (a bit like a rose I can't think of the name of, begins with P I think) scattered arund the cake and on all the tables. Very effective and a much better use of any flower budget IMO. It got notcied as we were all at our table for much longer than we were at the church.

*Pionies (or however they are spelt)

If you have a beautiful venue you don't need many flowers.

was hoping that flowers in church weren't too important to guests! feel that the ceremony is most important and hopefully DP and I will be so gorgeous on the day people wont notice anything else in chruch! petals on tables sounds lovely

we had hardly any, but then we were in a garden! Just some huge delphiniums and lots of lavender in teh room we married in, and the sweet peas (ALL of the local flower show's sweet pea entries!) in jam jars on the tables outside, each jam jar with a label saying Aloha & Aloha's dh wedding, 27 July 2000 written out by a friend with nice handwriting, and assembled in the kitchen of hte house by guests the next day - with a gingham ribbon round the neck of each jar. They were so lovely!

Petals on the tables yes. But full buds/flowers surrounding hte cake - absolutely beautiful.

I have heard of three allthegearnoidea, and I found it very vulgar, even if the banquet was taking place a few hours than the buffet/disco.

Or inviting people to the reception but asking them not to come to the church. FGS, if you have plenty of friends marry in a bigger place! Whatever happened to "every one is welcomed in the house of the Lord"????

Actually I have just had a look back at teh cake surrounded by flowers and there wern't as many flowers as I thought - so a few flowers is obviously as memorable.

i love flowers, but want them where necessary, i haven't remembered anyhitng other than brides bouquet from weddings i've been to! are buttonholes the norm? ideas other than carnations? i'm really picking your brains i know, but it's all so helpful!

buttonholes - white rose with a sprig of lavendar, sprig of lily of the valley

what are you having in your bouquet?

not sure yet, love roses and bridesmaids wearing sage green so want it quite natural looking, no shocking pinks or oranges, also like loose bouquets rather than very tight balls of flowers

lily of the valley is a great suggestion

Have seen a bouquet with lily of the valley and some other white flowers and it was beautiful.

my dad said that lillies and iris' are funeral flowers, is he right?