Selling my house - what to do about DS

[Blushingm]

I want to move in with DP in 2 years time. DS will be almost 27. DD will be 23 but she already lives 50 miles away with her friend.

If I sell the house I’ll have enough to pay off DP mortgage and we could live mortgage free (obviously see a solicitor first to protect us both) - at the moment we are both paying all the bills and mortgage on our own houses. I currently only stay at my house 4 nights per month.

My issue is DS. He will be almost 27. I don’t want to make him homeless. And he says he does t want to be living with his mum. I don’t want to be his landlady either - he’s currently suppose to contribute £75 per week but it’s a battle to get that. He’s got a full time job earning around £31k per year.

Should I sell like I want to and am I being a terrible mum or is it time he needs to stand on his own 2 feet and live independently

This.

But she can only sell her house if she moves into his. If OP's position is protected so she owns a share of her DP's house then why not?

OP didn't make it clear she was moving in with DP, or going to be owning a share.

He's got 2 years to save. He can get a better paid job or a second job if he needs too. Hes a grown man

Yes I did. I’ve said in several posts that we will live together mortgage free and I’d be a part owner/on deeds etc

I’ll be living in the house with him - in his house as it is now. But I’ll become a part owner of that house. Where did you think I’d be living if I sold my house?

I’m guessing your DP doesn’t have any dependents

She'll be buying into his property??

I just forgot about the additional info in the subsequent posts and had only re-read the OP. I just thought you'd be buying or renting together a new place.

Anyway, I guess I'd have worded it as "buying into DP's property" rather than "paying off his mortgage". No big deal, misunderstandings happen.

I guess as long as you have it valued and are happy with the % of equity you get from his place and the % of maintenance each pays for etc. Are you sure you want to give up your independence by moving in with someone at your age? I couldn't think of anything worse!

Your DS essentially has your house to himself if you’re only there 4 nights a month, and he won’t pay a penny unless you nag him?

Why do you want to wait two years?

You're worried you'll be a terrible parent by pushing your almost 30 year old son out of your house? I'm sorry to be harsh but the terrible parenting was allowing and enabling him to live like a teenager well into his adulthood. Something has gone very wrong and you're significantly responsible. If you don't push him to become independent you're really going to fail him big time.

He’s 27 ffs!

why are you paying your partner’s mortgage off? Be careful!

OP.
He is 27, earning 31k a year and struggling to pay you £75.

You haven’t raised him right.

He earns £31k he can afford his own flat- clearly he has never had to budget, it's about time he started . Put your house on the market, let your son know he has to move out, and the likely timeline.

Why are you selling your house to pay off your partner's mortgage that he is legally responsible himself? While not giving your own children a deposit, I'd downsize to give my kids a deposit. Not to pay off the mortgage of a partner who I could split up with.

Make sure that deposit is ring fenced as a loan and protected in the event of a split &/or sale.

Make sure you buy as tenants in common and ensure your half of the equity is ring fenced for your kids. I can't understand why people prioritise their later partners over their own kids.

If you split, you've lost your asset by selling your house now and probably won't have enough from the sale of your joint house to buy outright.

If I were you, keep your house but let it out via an agent and pay towards the bills at your partner's. Get some legal advice but I really wouldn't sell my house to pay off my boyfriend's mortgage. You're making yourself extremely vulnerable and your kids will oae out on their inheritance because you're paying off another man's mortgage.

Everyone is having a go at your son for still living at home but ignoring the fact that your dp will have his mortgage paid off by you. Why can't he pay off his own mortgage?

I think people presumed you’d be buying a new house together (and make sure your money is properly and legally protected!)

Regarding your son, he has plenty if tobe to find somewhere else to live. Has he got money saved already? Is he a spendthrift ? If not, then two years may not a huge time to get a decent deposit , depending on where you live.

I agree with others @Blushingm, you're giving him two years notice and he's working FT, he'll be able to sort himself out.

He's in his mid-20's and it's time that he starts being financially responsible. If not now, when?

It's roughly £2k a month. If he is only paying his mum £300 per month, then that leaves a lot of money to save if he doesn't spend all of his money on crap.

I have no idea what house prices/ rents are like where the OP is so living independently on that salary on his own would be really hard.

So many people on this thread either don’t read properly or have serious comprehension issues.

It sounds like Peter Pan might finally have a chance to grow up.

Give your DS a deadline to move out by and I’d made it sooner rather than later as you’re doing him no favours by allowing him to continue to take the pee out of you. You’re subsidising his already spendy lifestyle. I’m sure that’s not why you go to work though but it’s what you’re doing.
He also can’t be a very attractive prospect for a partner if he’s living at home like a teenager…

You give him two years notice and you talk with him and help him to create a budget. He needs a monthly standing order into a savings account so that he has, at the very least, a rental deposit and enough to kit out his new place at the end of two years. He should also have a standing order to you to pay his rent.

Oh, and you mention giving him money towards a deposit. Only do that if your responsible daughter gets the same deal. And the deposit money doesn't hit his account until it's actually needed. Otherwise he's just going to spend it on something else.

His house is worth £400k, his mortgage is £80k. My house is worth £250k but my mortgage is £81k

id end up owning 25% of his house so will still have an asset that will hopefully grown in value. I’d pay his mortgage and still have money to invest/save

We would have independent solicitors for advice and draw up an agreement about what would happen should we split