Selling my house - what to do about DS

[Blushingm]

I want to move in with DP in 2 years time. DS will be almost 27. DD will be 23 but she already lives 50 miles away with her friend.

If I sell the house I’ll have enough to pay off DP mortgage and we could live mortgage free (obviously see a solicitor first to protect us both) - at the moment we are both paying all the bills and mortgage on our own houses. I currently only stay at my house 4 nights per month.

My issue is DS. He will be almost 27. I don’t want to make him homeless. And he says he does t want to be living with his mum. I don’t want to be his landlady either - he’s currently suppose to contribute £75 per week but it’s a battle to get that. He’s got a full time job earning around £31k per year.

Should I sell like I want to and am I being a terrible mum or is it time he needs to stand on his own 2 feet and live independently

He’s twenty-fucking-seven…

He’s 27, in a good job and has 2 years notice. I think he’ll be fine. He should have a cracking deposit saved up surely if he’s not even paying you minimal rent.

He's 27 with a full time job, with two years to sort out somewhere to live. I can't see the problem at all!

I think two years is plenty of notice. I might be inclined to put some money aside to help him with a deposit if you’re able, and maybe guide him in finding somewhere if he has no experience of living on his own. But unless he has special needs that keep him at home, it’s
time.

He has two years notice, a good salary and very little in our goings, just make it clear to him now that he is either saving hard for a deposit in those two years or he will be renting.

You’d be doing the cheeky lad (full grown man)a favour. He should be paying his way.

I hope you are getting put on the deeds before paying dp mortgage off.

He’s 27 and has a job.

he won’t be homeless

I don’t think you’re being a terrible mum, and at 27 with a full-time job on £31k, your DS is old enough to be thinking seriously about living independently.
But I’d be much more concerned about the proposal to use the proceeds from your house sale to pay off your DP’s mortgage. I’d want very clear legal and financial protection before doing that. “We’ll see a solicitor” wouldn’t be enough for me I’d want the solicitor to advise you independently and make sure that the amount you are putting into the property is legally recognised and protected if the relationship ended, the property was sold, or either of you died.
If you sell your house and use the money to clear a mortgage that is solely in your DP’s name, what exactly do you own in return? Would you have a legal share of the property? Would there be a declaration of trust? What happens to your contribution if you split up?
As for your DS, I don’t think you should keep an entire house indefinitely because you’re worried about making a 27-year-old homeless. You can give him plenty of notice and help him make a plan, but ultimately he needs to take responsibility for securing his own accommodation. Especially if getting £75 a week from him is already a battle despite him earning £31k.
I’d actually separate the two issues: your decision to sell your house should be based on what is financially and legally right for you, not on whether your adult son is ready to leave. Give him a reasonable timeframe and support him to move out, but don’t sacrifice your own financial security to avoid him having to become independent.

2 years is plenty of time for him to sort something else out. Hopefully he’s been saving the money he’s not paying in rent, but even if not he’s earning enough to rent somewhere at market rate unless you’re in London.

I think you'd be a rubbish parent if you did anything other than make him move out in these circumstances...

27yo with two years notice seems like something he should be able to achieve, but I would support him with practical help and advice to make it happen, just like I would for any other major life change where I have more experience.

It will be the making of him!

You would be giving him plenty of notice. He is earning 31k ,although how far this goes depends where you live. Why is he struggling to pay you £75 a week, has he got some expensive outgoings, a car maybe?

The only thing I think you currently owe your DS is to point out that landlords will expect more than £75 a week and they won't 'battle' to get it out of him. Either he pays his rent upfront and on time or he will find himself homeless.

He needs to grow up.

Firstly …. absolutely make sure you are financially protected if you really are planning to pay off someone else’s mortgage. This would be the biggest concern to me as it sounds very risky.

Secondly, time for a talk with your ADULT son. James, you must have saved up a fair amount by now, seeing as you get paid £31k and getting any rent out of you is like getting blood out of a stone. It’s time for you to be looking for your own place - with your savings you must have amassed enough for a deposit… or at the very least be able to afford to rent something decent. I am going to be selling up so you need to be sorted before that happens.

Could you help him with a deposit?

31k is the equivalent to 17k when I lived at home in the mid 00s, it’s really not a lot these days.

He’s 27, time to cut the cord! As long as you give him plenty of notice then I really don’t see a problem! It may give him the push he needs!

Yes he's 27 and has lived with you rent free/minimal cost for long enough, he has had plenty of time to save, he can move into rented at this point. He's not 19

He’s got 2 years to save up for a deposit for a mortgage - not many 27yos have that luxury!

If it was me I would also give both kids £5-10k each from the house sale.

He's not actually 27 he will be nearly 27 in 2 years so that makes him 24. Still an adult of course but not quite the same.

I would give him 2 years notice and explain your plans. Be prepared though - might he expect to be coming with you? Make sure you spell out clearly that he needs to have moved out and maybe offer to help with a plan to save?

Although if anything like my 22 year old that offer will not be welcome 😀

Could you help him with a deposit?

He can save his own deposit. OP is already covering his living expenses since he barely contributes to the household.

Time for him to grow up and pay his own way.

(Edited because I misread op.)

Why is this a question He is 27 years old?

wtf

He is not 27