Son gets rebound girlfriend pregnant after 3 months

[Itcanonlygetbetter72]

I posted on here a while re my Son cheating on his long term girlfriend and he had gone into a relationship which appeared to be a rebound.
It now transpires that the rebound girlfriend has got herself pregnant after 3 months with my Son!!!
My Son never told us, he did so through his Brother.
He never had children on the agenda (his 22) but I predicted she would get pregnant (call it mothers intuition) when he first started seeing her as he is a good meal ticket for anyone.
She (I am sorry to say) is unemployed and from a not so nice background or equally family.
When we approached our Son (by phone as he has avoided me fact to face since this all came to light) and said he also has options his response was "she wants to keep it" so I have to get on with it.
It is like he been completely cast under a spell with the woman and her family, the bottom line he came last week (I was at work but his Dad was at home), cleared his room and said he cannot stay here anymore with me and they love each other and are going to spend the rest of their lives with each other.
Subsequently he has blocked both myself and his brother from all forms of contact and we have not heard from him since.

His Dad has not heard from him and it us left us all completely devastated.
I did say to him if you do not want to be a part of this that's is fine, no one is judging you but you do have to be responsible financially for the child.

We know this is a rebound situation and not only will it ruin his life as no matter what this mistake, and before you all curse me, it is a mistake will stay with him for life. A child will be coming into this world, not because it was planned but because it's mother purely wanted to trap someone, my Son or some other poor soul and then there is no escape even when you split.

Both my Husband and I are just carrying on with our lives, leaving him to it, if he gets in touch we will talk to him but if not then so be it, of course heartbroken inside but he is very stubborn and will continue down this path even if it makes him unhappy.

My Sons last message to me was I do not want you in my life and never want to see or hear from you again. I have come to terms with that now.

Anyone else on here, by any chance experience the same and please I am looking for constructive comments, the last experience here produced some less than nice responses which quite frankly that is not what I am here for, I am here to hear about anyone else who has had a similar experience and where did it end up. TIA

She didn’t get herself pregnant. Absolute flan.
Shame she’s now accidentally saddled herself with an appalling family like yours though.

Insist on a dna test then if you have suspicions she is a hermaphrodite

he has left the family home
moving in with girlfriend into parents home as far as we know
not much info from son

How, did she lie about being on the pill.

Hi. No she didn’t because that’s impossible. Your son got her pregnant.

You say your son had not planned to have children at all. So if he didn’t want to get ‘trapped’, he should have had a vasectomy or abstained from sex.

Are you diluting what you actually said? I know two women who indicated to the pregnant woman that they should abort their son’s child, and in both cases they have really lived to regret it.

You need to focus on the things you can control. What can you control, realistically? You need to focus on what a good outcome would be? What would a good outcome ten years down the line look like?
You definitely should speak about the mother with a little bit of respect.

Yes I know two people who fathered children as teenagers. One (a relative of mine) is still the same selfish person he was at 18. The child’s mother (despite his mothers protests) is far far too good for him. They are sort of together, but don’t live together.
The other married and had theee kids with someone else. The Mum also had more children with someone else. It was all very cordial and the paternal grandparents have a been a very very positive part of his life, but the relationship with the step-Mum was tricky. (He’s now a Dad himself).

My advice is be on the child’s side, and then your actions won’t go too far wrong.

Why is it all her fault?! It takes two to get pregnant and frankly I don’t blame your son for going NC if this is your attitude towards her. You might not like the fact he loves her and wants to be with her but not respecting the fact he does means you’ve lost him.

If you want your son in your life, OP, are you prepared to accept that she is a part of his?

yes agreed, this is clearly not a medical miracle

Maybe she was thinking like that too - both are responsible equally

Irrelevant if she did. If you don’t want sexual intercourse to lead to conception - you take your own precautions - whether you are a male or a female.

Got herself pregnant? Get to fuck, your attitude is pretty vile OP, get on with your life & leave your son be

The way you speak about the woman is vile. No wonder DS has cut you out of their lives.

Your son messed up and is going to be a father. You either get on board and support him or you alienate him and lose your relationship with him entirely.

He doesn’t have to have a relationship with the mother, but if he doesn’t do the right thing and become an active parent to his child, he is a bad person. Your job as a parent should be to help him do the right thing, not to try to criticize the mother of his child and create a wedge between yourself and your son.

I couldn't read past 'she got herself pregnant'.

Presumably your son is aware of the cause of pregnancy and steps to take to prevent it? The responsibility is on him too!

financially he is in a very fortunate position
agreed not bright enough to use a condom
we are not actively encouraging him to do anything BUT he stated in a text he did not want a child a 22 but has to go along with it. no one has to do anything they do not want to do in life
toxic is your opinion.

No woman in the history of humanity has ever 'got herself pregnant'

Ffs

totally agree, we warned him at the start - be careful - do not get her pregnant
not only ruining his lift but equally the young woman

Oh well you can relax then. Your son wasn’t involved and doesn’t need to assume any responsibility.

If you’re feeling generous, you could advise her to sell her story of a conception-free baby to a tabloid. First time it’s happened since Jesus - should be worth a few bob.

As soon as I read 'that' bit OP I knew you would get flamed and rightly so imo! However, you are where you are. I think you've done what you can. He has left and says he doesn't want to see you and there is nothing you can do about that.

Keep communication open as much as possible, though tricky if he has blocked you all! I would also say that he hasn't ruined his life. He is having a baby with his gf - there's a lot worse he could be doing that could be life ruining. Don't write him off yet.

You'll just have to give him time and hope he comes round so you can continue some kind of relationship with him and your DGC when they arrive.

Why is he such a catch? He is only 22 sexually irresponsible cheater with no family now , and a cold snobby mum

only way this will end well is if you beg forgiveness, be warm and positive about his girlfriend and the baby and support them all as much as you can and stop seeing him as a catch

So what changed from that to him saying he wants to be with her and doesn’t want anything to do with you? Something must’ve triggered it.

Wow she managed to get pregnant all on her own.

no one has to do anything they do not want to do in life
toxic is your opinion.

I’m not sure if this is just bad punctuation, but are you saying that people should not have to do anything they don’t want to do?
If yes, that would seem to be a problematic value to instill in a young person.