Son gets rebound girlfriend pregnant after 3 months

[Itcanonlygetbetter72]

I posted on here a while re my Son cheating on his long term girlfriend and he had gone into a relationship which appeared to be a rebound.
It now transpires that the rebound girlfriend has got herself pregnant after 3 months with my Son!!!
My Son never told us, he did so through his Brother.
He never had children on the agenda (his 22) but I predicted she would get pregnant (call it mothers intuition) when he first started seeing her as he is a good meal ticket for anyone.
She (I am sorry to say) is unemployed and from a not so nice background or equally family.
When we approached our Son (by phone as he has avoided me fact to face since this all came to light) and said he also has options his response was "she wants to keep it" so I have to get on with it.
It is like he been completely cast under a spell with the woman and her family, the bottom line he came last week (I was at work but his Dad was at home), cleared his room and said he cannot stay here anymore with me and they love each other and are going to spend the rest of their lives with each other.
Subsequently he has blocked both myself and his brother from all forms of contact and we have not heard from him since.

His Dad has not heard from him and it us left us all completely devastated.
I did say to him if you do not want to be a part of this that's is fine, no one is judging you but you do have to be responsible financially for the child.

We know this is a rebound situation and not only will it ruin his life as no matter what this mistake, and before you all curse me, it is a mistake will stay with him for life. A child will be coming into this world, not because it was planned but because it's mother purely wanted to trap someone, my Son or some other poor soul and then there is no escape even when you split.

Both my Husband and I are just carrying on with our lives, leaving him to it, if he gets in touch we will talk to him but if not then so be it, of course heartbroken inside but he is very stubborn and will continue down this path even if it makes him unhappy.

My Sons last message to me was I do not want you in my life and never want to see or hear from you again. I have come to terms with that now.

Anyone else on here, by any chance experience the same and please I am looking for constructive comments, the last experience here produced some less than nice responses which quite frankly that is not what I am here for, I am here to hear about anyone else who has had a similar experience and where did it end up. TIA

Your son’s an adult. His choice.

If you want to have a relationship him, you need to change your attitude towards the mother of his child, and do it quick - because it’s horrid. He’s obviously afraid and needs support. Not someone telling him he’s ruined his life. He’s not gone and bloody murdered someone or robbed a bank. See the positives with him/them - what else is there to gain from the situation???

She didn’t get herself pregnant - that was your son. She also can’t control the family she has or background she comes, which seem to fall short of your standards.

Try being kind and supportive.

I’m pretty certain I’ve seen a similar thread to this not so long ago…..

Some of us don’t want to have of an abortion? 22 is really not that young. I had my son (while married) at 23.

Contraception is not 100%. A friend of mine recently fell pregnant on the implant. Another on the coil.

I will be teaching my sons to wear condoms if they don’t want reproduce and even with condoms, there is always the chance a pregnancy can occur.

She (I am sorry to say) is unemployed and from a not so nice background or equally family

Having read your posts about your son’s girlfriend, it’s interesting that you judge her for this whilst your behaviour towards her is not very nice. I imagine it’s very apparent to both of them what you think of her- why would they want anything to do with you?
Your son knows that you are not the pillar of support that you should be as a mum. You’re too busy blaming everyone else to consider that perhaps the situation you’re in is down to you.

It sounds as if you are a little in shock. Obviously you can not influence another woman's pregnancy choices, but this is your grandchild and unless you do not want a relationship with your ds or dgc you are going to have to accept the situation graciously. Pour yourself a large G&T eat a bar of chocolate and make a vow never to express any negativity to these young people and the family they are becoming. You cannot warn them that they are making a mistake - they wont hear you and will do what they want anyway. Accept you cannot change it, and work out a way you can live with it.

I understand this is not the life you want for your son but it’s not your life to live it’s his!
Your attitude and the way you speak of this woman is disgusting and I would be heart broken if a more mature woman spoke of my daughter like this.

Your son is not a catch, yes he has money and a job but so what, he treats women terribly by the sounds of it.
No one trapped him, he decided to have unprotected sex. Yes you’re female but you can still educate your son on contraception.

You’ve slated this woman and her family but really your son has cheated and got someone else pregnant so you don’t have a high horse to be standing on.

All you can do is leave him to it. One day he’ll be in touch and you can choose to continue to be on this war path or you can be impartial and just listen to him.

The way you’re acting will drive him away completely and you’ll lose your son. You will also miss out on being a grandparent and as much as you’re not interested in that right now, you’ll probably come to regret that decision when the child grows up.

OP you and your husband must reflect on your roles in all of this. You have said some very harsh things both about your son and about his girlfriend. Stop blaming and lashing out. Have a think about how you have ended up in a situation where your son has told you he does not want you in his life and has cut all avenues of communication. If you cannot have an honest and humble reflection on the things you are responsible for in your relationship with your son, then you will not progress.

"Both my Husband and I are just carrying on with our lives, leaving him to it, if he gets in touch we will talk to him but if not then so be it, of course heartbroken inside but he is very stubborn and will continue down this path even if it makes him unhappy.
My Sons last message to me was I do not want you in my life and never want to see or hear from you again. I have come to terms with that now."

You have "come to terms" with your child never wanting to see or hear from you again? Then why are you posting here? You, rightly and understandably, haven't come to terms with it. Resolving this situation to achieve the best possible outcome for you, your child and your grandchild is going to take hard work from all of you. You and your husband have a role in all of this and you need to really reflect on that. Possibly as a couple with a trained therapist rather than you alone getting into a scrap on MN.

Blinking heck. I’m not surprised he’s blocked you. How very sad you have to be so judgemental. The fact you say the girl got her self pregnant is hilarious. Your poor boy. How did he not know this could happen???!
His life will change, absolutely. Ruined?! Bizarre thing to say about a child being born.
you’ve just massively lost out here op. On your son. And on his future with your grandchild in. It’s done now. If you want to make amends you could. I have a feeling you won’t though.

Jfc @Itcanonlygetbetter72 you're a nasty one aren't you! You think you're better than them while lacking basic grammar and spelling abilities, alongside basic humanity? You won't be sad that you won't get to see 'the child?' Classy...

I really hope this isn't real - otherwise congrats on your poor son for escaping this toxicity; immature and capable of mistakes or not!

No , your son ejaculated in to her , that’s what got her pregnant. A woman can’t get herself pregnant.

You keep on giving and giving don't you!

Last I checked sex ed doesn't involve a teacher demonstrating how to put a condom on their own penis.

Has the woman no access to bananas?

The only thing I would add is one of my DD got pregnant at 22 to a complete wrong un. They had no home and she had no job and was drifting. I was devasted and thought it was the worst thing that could possibly happen. 10 years on, it all worked out. Wrong un kind of got his act together and as as for my DGD, well she is the absolute love of my life and I couldn't imagine a world without her in it. It will all work itself out and an unplanned baby is not the end of the world

Is his girlfriend a similar age?

Your attitude to the whole situation is truly awful, and I hope you don't have daughters as well.

I can only speak from experience in that I managed to 'get myself pregnant', he obviously didn't have anything to do with it, having been with my then boyfriend for just 3 months. I was a few years older than your son, working in a temporary role and living back with my (perfectly wonderful) family due to my circumstances. It was absolutely 100% unplanned, and like your son I had no real vision of having children. However, despite your opinion, it was easy. Nothing hard about it, we came together, we figured it all out and we made it through. Fair enough, he wasn't an arse like your son, so it seems we had a better chance at success.
We are now 17 years down the line, married, have 6 children, 3 being surprises but 0 mistakes, and so far so good.

I hope they make it, go NC with you and never let you meet your grandchild.

This post reminds me of someone I’m friends with.
He met his girlfriend when he was 19 and about to start uni, the girlfriend was 17 and 3 months pregnant from a one night stand.
He didn’t go to uni because he didn’t want to leave her and instead got a job in retail and moved into her council flat.
She had the baby and he raised her as his own.
His family went ape shit.. She’s a tart, will ruin your life ect ect, a lot like you!
They went on to get married, buy a home, and have two more children.
They are in there mid/late forties now. His family have missed out on a relationship with all of there grandchildren because they refused to respect their son’s decision and treat the woman he chose with any kindness.
Also op if this girl and her family are as bad as you say surely you should be doing everything you can to build a good relationship with this girl.
Your grandchild is going to be here soon and if you want to be apart of this babies life you are going to have to offer an apology to your son and his girlfriend.

Nobody was suggesting you should have taught your child about contraception by putting a condom on your own erect penis.

I understand your concerns but try and support them. This baby is your grandchild.

I would not give them access to the inheritance until you see how things progress.

Thanks to all of you for taking the time to respond both positive/neutral and negative.
It has been an interesting read that’s for sure.

Your son sounds like trash but I can see where he gets it from. She didn’t get herself pregnant.

I can’t believe a woman would say something so stupid about pregnancy, it’s women with your type of attitude that raise irresponsible manchildren.

What ridiculous thing to say. One of my stepsons is trash like the OP's but the other one is perfect. Is it his father's fault that he is trash?

Of course not, but OP’s attitude towards this girl gives a good glimpse into the careless “it’s her responsibility” mindset.

Calling people trash… you are no better.