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Original poster

18y old daughter hits me

181 replies

LOUKAP · 04/08/2024 08:19

I have a recently turned 18y old daughter who has suffered from some sort of mental health since 12. No proper diagnosis through NHS just countless referrals to CAMHS and after 6 weeks with them no diagnosis or follow on treatment. She is prone to depressive episodes and in the last 2 years violent physical outbursts towards me. She is verbally abusive to other family members but not violent.
I am a single parent and she mostly refuses to spend time with her dad because he has a new partner, he does try.
The last year her violent behaviour towards me has increased, she screams at me and calls me names, she slaps me, kicks and punches me. Mostly I restrain her or am able to leave the room. Occasionally I have hit back.
I don't know what to do anymore NHS is no help in trying to get her diagnosed.
I love her but can't live like this anymore,.calling the police is not an option as they would nothing or worse arrest her and she still won't get the mental help she needs. Any advice?

OP posts:
Original poster
LOUKAP · 07/09/2024 19:35

duvet · 07/09/2024 19:13

@LOUKAP How are things? Have you been to Vulnerable services/Adult Mental Heath Team, I've been advised to go there - it might help you?
@Hesterschoice8761If you don't mind me asking can you give examples of boundaries that were suggested by CAMHS? Something I'm struggling with.

Yes and have referred her so now we wait.

OP posts:
Original poster
LOUKAP · 07/09/2024 19:41

LOUKAP · 07/09/2024 19:35

Yes and have referred her so now we wait.

Show quote history

Boundaries suggested by CAMHS is reducing use of smartphone, remove phone at bedtime. Be consistent with rules and don't keep changing rules as causes confusion. Ensure good diet and reduce high sugar, high carbs. They said do not hit back if she hits and try to diffuse situation or remove yourself.

OP posts:
duvet · 07/09/2024 20:10

Good to hear @LOUKAP hope it's not too long a wait. The person I spoke to said there might be support for me too, I hope there is for you too.

Thank you for the Boundaries - that's really useful to know especially when you're second guessing your parenting abilities and DC is over 18.

kiwiane · 07/09/2024 20:19

I’m no mental health expert - I just believe you don’t have to give your life over to her any longer. Report her to the police - she can control herself with others.
You aren’t doing her any favours - I’d look to adult social services ti find her somewhere else to live; it could take a long time and would be best for her in the longer term. Your life seems intolerable to me and she’s clearly not happy.

Hesterschoice8761 · 07/09/2024 20:32

LOUKAP · 07/09/2024 19:35

Yes and have referred her so now we wait.

Show quote history

I don’t think I mentioned boundaries set by CAMHS; I think it was another poster. Can’t see where I mentioned it anyway! 😀

duvet · 06/05/2025 22:06

@LOUKAP how are things now?

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