coping with empty nest syndrome, menopause with absent husband

[longpathtohappiness]

I feel totally on my own a lot of the time. DH is here but either at work, talking about work or sleeping!

I struggle to cope with it all sometimes and feel totally on my own

Yes, not to sound cruel but none of us can help you. You need professional help. If your GP won't help you, try to find another. Make a fuss. Sounds callous but internet strangers will not be able to fix this.

What you are feeling is absolutely not normal and beyond the usual empty nest irritated with DH feelings, believe me. Having suicidal thoughts and panic attacks constantly is not normal for menopausal women.

Hi there LongPath. We're really sorry to hear things are still so tough for you. We agree that speaking to your GP tomorrow sounds like a good plan. If, in the meantime, you need a bit of urgent support, there are lots of numbers on our Mental Health Webguide that you can try that might be useful.

I've spoken to my GP, have started counselling. In the meantime my heart continues to break

Feelings of empty nest have lessen

How is everyone doing now?

The change of seasons has added to my gloomy feelings. It's been a really difficult summer for me personally with a family bereavement but I can see a way through now.

@vjg13 I’m so sorry for your loss, my sympathies to you and your family. It’s so difficult losing a loved one ☹️

Like you, I’m really struggling with the change of seasons. I’m walking the dog in the dark in the mornings and evenings which is a bit miserable, although our lunchtime walks are better when I can glimpse some daylight. My mood plummets as the days shorten, so it’s a difficult time for me. No energy for anything, feel like crying a lot of the time and my concentration is non-existent - not ideal when you work full time and lead a team!

Hope everyone else is doing ok 😊

I actually like the changing seasons, i like the dark nights. Like nights till 10pm make me anxious, i dont know why.
But im sorry for anyone struggling, i get it, totally.
I hope this thread is still going....how are we all, and @longpathtohappiness ? Are you feeling any stronger now? I really hope so.

Well my news is, is that ds is moving out this month and he's the last to go, so we are facing the empty nest, which frankly im dreading. Am pleased for him, and if he's happy im happy, but god im dreading it.

Sorry meant light nights till 10pm

@ssd that sounds difficult for you, is he moving far? Putting on a brave face is the best way to handle it for everyone, fake it until you make it!

My own situation can be described as plodding on, trying to find gratitude in simple everyday things.

Couple of hours away nearly, not too far but far enough to be away...

Two hours is tough, @ssd Close enough for a day trip but not for dropping in for a coffee. Perhaps you'll be able to meet half way for lunch on a regular basis.

But, no, it's not close enough for me either.

Its hard isnt it

It’s so tough and we can’t help but feel all rather lost in the world.
Im still navigating after several years. I’m always feeling like I don’t fit anywhere even though I try.

That's a familiar feeling here too.

@longpathtohappiness how are you feeling now?

Still feeling depressed 😔. Joined the WI and going for first meeting tomorrow. Fingers crossed

Good luck tomorrow night @longpathtohappiness - one step at a time. I hope you have a lovely time 😊

WI has been a lifesaver for me. Hope you enjoy it. Different groups are very different though, so if you don’t gel with the first one you try another one nearby may be more to your taste

igivein went to my first Wl last night, the talk was good but they opened the evening discussing knitting patterns and incontinence! Will try another one

In the meantime I feel so lonely and depressed

I don't think I'd have made it to a second meeting of that WI either! Hope you manage to find a more suitable group. Mine has a good age range (20s - 70s) and most members work. I think these two things can be an indicator of a more vibrant / interesting group.

igivein am going to try another group in a few weeks time. Fingers crossed

Oh no @longpathtohappiness , that doesn't sound like the sort of group that screams join us! I hope you find a better one soon, I know they are very popular and I'm sure they wouldn't be if all they discussed were knitting patterns and incontinence.

Just checking in to see how everyone is doing. Crying again this morning. DH just looks at me like I have two heads. Really missing the kids and they are still at home. Pathetic right

It's not pathetic, OP, but it's such a waste of your one wild and precious life. No wonder your DH looks at you with exasperation.

And your kids are still living at home, they're just not adorable little ones anymore. Think of the impact your sadness is having on them.

Why don't you suggest that you and DH and your kids do something you used to enjoy when they were younger. Maybe go to the beach, an activity centre (obviously it's not going to be soft play or the kids section of the park 😊) - outdoors is best but an escape room, bowling, mini golf would be good as it would involve movement and laughter.

And if the kids can't go this weekend - go with DH but get them to commit to a weekend activity soon.

We've been having this conversation for a year and a half, OP - I ain't giving up on ya ♡