coping with empty nest syndrome, menopause with absent husband

[longpathtohappiness]

I feel totally on my own a lot of the time. DH is here but either at work, talking about work or sleeping!

I struggle to cope with it all sometimes and feel totally on my own

Ain’t that the truth

It is so hard and i feel totally helpless to help him.

Having a panic attack about my DC. They are 22 and 20 ffs so hardly "DC" anymore but I just can't help it. Maybe meno related hence posting here. On HRT but not really helping. Crying a lot, brain fog, hot flushes and a husband that does nothing other than nap. My friends IRL are getting fed up with me. I can't cope 😫

Just try to do one small thing to change the situation. If it feels too much to make a big life changing decision like divorce, try to take one step a week. Start with finding a new hobby, or read a book, or go for a walk somewhere you haven’t been before. Go away for a weekend on your own. Nothing will change if you don’t start to change yourself .

Just walked the dog with DH, he is doing his best to support me, but I just feel like I want to be on my own at the moment.

I was really snappy and irritable with him. - just feel so overwhelmed with everything at the moment 😪 😞

@longpathtohappiness , are your kids still at home?

ssd yes all still at home, all in their 20s now so hardly see them these days

Do you know why you had a panic attack about them earlier?

ssd panic attack about the "kids" growing up, its like knife through my heart. They haven't even left home yet 😓

I really think counselling would help you work through your feelings. Could you afford to pay for a few sessions? Going through the nhs is hopeless, you'd be waiting ages.

Local IAPT services often don’t have a huge waiting list for therapy and/or counselling

I'm already having counselling

Can't stop crying today, it is unbearable

You need to go to your doctor.

You really do. Please go @longpathtohappiness and ask for help. You can't live like this.

Writingonthewalls

ssd

I've been to the Dr's, on HRT and anti depressants. No improvement

Is The counselling helping?

Writingonthewalls tbh no, she called me by the name of the next person she was seeing. I understand that it is an easy mistake to make but I felt she wasn't really giving me her full attention

Sounds like she isn’t the right therapist for you. Maybe have a look at finding someone else.

Yes, try another therapist, it might make all the difference.

Writingonthewalls

Yeah costs money though

What is it you want, OP, from your one wild and wonderful life? (I ponder this a lot myself).

It’s worth it if you feel as bad as you do and nothing else is working .

I am not OP but I have figured my midlife purpose out and this long running thread has helped me. I want to be as happy in my solitude as I am in company, and rely on no one else to make me happy, while also appreciating my family and friends when they are around!

It's a life's work.

I want to be as happy in my solitude as I am in company, and rely on no one else to make me happy, while also appreciating my family and friends when they are around!

Sounds good and what I need to work towards.