Thread 46 - GCSE Covid Cohort , Searching for Summer Solstice

[OrangeCinnamonLatte]

This is a support thread for our young adults post GCSEs 2020, regardless of their educational setting, and their results ( or life updates for those who went into work or have had results earlier). It is respectfully requested that all are supportive and helpful to each other. If you want to start a debate, e.g state vs private, uni vs employment please don't within this thread.

Some of us have been here since first thread back in yr10, some will be new. Everyone has been friendly and helpful in the past. Everyone is welcome. It is hoped this will continue. We were previously on the secondary board and then further education, now we shall be here in 'Parents of Adult Children' gulp

Our DS/DD may continue down various pathways ( employment, apprenticeships, higher ed). Be warned there might be lots of 'Uni Freshers' chat this time of year. My experience is that everyone is welcomed wherever, whatever their child is doing we have some in work, gap years , apprenticeships etc too. Lots of contributors with different experiences and always sympathy and advice to be had.

Previous Thread

@Shimy That's horrific. The advice from Delphi sounds excellent. Your DS is taking a steer from the victim which is what we would want. He sounds a good young man.

@cariadambyth I'm so sorry your DD has had a traumatic event too. Glad the counselling is helping her.

Sorry to hear the news @Shimy @cariadambyth they grow up so quickly we can't cover all eventualities...just give sound advice as situations arise.

Thank you both @EwwSprouts and @OrangeCinnamonLatte .

Thank you all for your concern and kind comments. I teach year 1 and have to confess to feeling a bit envious of the parents. Parenting 5 year olds seems much easier than parenting young adults, most things can be sorted and made better whereas so much is out of our control once they hit teenage years and go to university.

Sorry to hear this Shimy and Cariad.
Shimy, whilst your lovely ds is supporting her emotionally, on a practical level this changes things: they'd all been looking forward to moving in, they now need to find another tenant to replace the boy - what a hassle! Changes the dynamics of the household friendships, and not necessarily easily to bring a 6th person in late.

@Shimy- how horrific. So sorry to hear about what's happened.

@cariadambyth - how dreadful for your DD. I hope she is okay. Such a worry.

I typed this but lost it for some reason. DH was in the Police and has dealt with this type of issue. He says what @Delphigirl says is exactly right re your DS keeping a verbatim contemporaneous record of what was said to him in case it is needed at some point if the girl involved does report it.

@Shimy I can see that the girl may not want to escalate the incident, but somebody definitely needs to ask the boy to swap into another house share, home has to be a safe place, it is no good sticking their heads in the sand, just stores trouble for later.

@cariadambyth sorry to hear that your DD has been subject to a nasty experience, having a friend who works in Student Service at a university, I know it is more common than I had realised. I think the drug/alcohol fuelled lives of many students leads to a lot of unacceptable and uncharacteristic behaviour.

So sorry to hear about both these incidents @Shimy and @cariadambyth. It's one of my biggest fears of DD going to Uni. I hope both DC in turn get the help and closure they need to move forward.

What is DS2 doing for his 19th birthday @Piggywaspushed?

Hope everyone is having a lovely BH weekend so far. Bit wet here but looks like it will cheer up soon...

Just hanging with us at home! We went for a nice curry last night and today he has bought himself new trainers.

Not up to much this weekend. My mum had an eye op on Thursday so I'm on caring duties - just popping over regularly rather than staying, although I did the first night.
DD is working but despite being in London with supposedly fabulous public transport, our local train isn't running today/tomorrow so she needs the bus to get her to the town centre to get the train into London. But both our local buses (neither of which actually go to the station, just sort of close by) are on diversion due to road works, so we have to be around to get her to/from the main station 🙄.

Lazy-ish rest-of-the-weekend for me; I have just sent off my own last piece of work for this year's module of a course I'm slowly doing, so I'm taking the rest of the day to binge-watch some TV. Housework can wait until tomorrow; my DW and DS are away for the whole long weekend as he's competing in a big sports event. DD has decided to come home at the end of May, which works well as it's my half-term so I can collect her.

Thanks everyone for the advice, all noted.

DS turns 19 tomorrow and he's got the cakes we ordered for his flat. Of course we didn't know the mood of the flat had nosedived so it's probably not going to be the celebratory BH we'd been expecting. Spent most of yesterday doing gardening (beginner's gardening, just incase!).

DH travels early in the morning, that leaves me shimmying around avoiding any work.

Thanks for the new thread @OrangeCinnamonLatte

So sorry to read this @Shimy and @cariadambyth . There is some excellent advice on here, such a lovely supportive group.

@Oblomov23 so happy for you that you're getting some sun and were able to get on that flight with your back but sorry to hear it's still really hurting. Hope the warm weather and sea help?

DH took DD back to Nottingham today. 4 weeks is far too long for an Easter break, she actually cried before she left as she really didn't want to go back. It's just for 2 weeks and she is fine now she is there, meet up with friends and sorted her room out. Even said she might not come home on Friday after all (she has decided before she went that she would come home Fri-Sunday night). She will miss her BF but also as I've said before she just doesn't love it there. I think she was worried no one would be around (no one showing on snapchat at 3.00pm when she left) but she knew at least 1 of her friends was on the way. DH said a few people deliberately stopped what they were doing to come over to say hi to her so that really would of helped her break the ice again.

@OrangeCinnamonLatte sorry to hear your DD isn't happy either - also bf missing. Your comment "I'm desperately afraid that she might be one of those who is never happy and will always find something to be negative about" really hit home with me. That sometimes describes my DD to a T (or tee not sure which) ! But to give DD her due, she then does often turn it around is is ok.

I just wanted the whole experience to be the best time of her life, but like Orange, Im not sure that would happen however the experience.

@crazycrofter love that your DD has been driving around. Only short distances here for the time being. Has she gone back to Nottingham yet?

Happy 19th to @Piggywaspushed not so junior :-) hope you all had a nice time.

Not much bank holiday fun stuff happening here at the moment. DH drove DD today to sook 6-7 hrs of his day (due back 9.00pm ish) He will be working tomorrow (down side of own gardening business, no work no pay) and I'm suffering from labyrinthitis again (had it in 2020), so no leaving the house for me at the moment.

Hope the weather is decent tomorrow for you all. Hope all your DD/Ds's enjoy their final term in Yr1 plus working/travelling etc for those not at uni. Keep posting as it's very interesting to hear how everyone is doing.

Happy birthday to your DS for tomorrow Shimy. I hope the recent events does not stop him from celebrating it, and that what ever action, if any, is taken towards the abuser, he is not returning to them for Y2. Time to process ‘stuff’ often has a natural way to force things out into the open.

And to your DD cariadambyth, I hope she gets good support to help her overcome her trauma.

Sorry to hear about horrible experiences @cariadambyth @Shimy 😢. I hope they can sort housing out for year 2 so that the boy goes elsewhere @Shimy

Sorry for those who weren’t happy going back as well @heifer and ican . I’ve heard lots of stories of year 2 being much better than year 1 though, so hopefully things will improve.

Dd is back tomorrow @heifer if she ever gets her packing done. She successfully arrived back from Bristol yesterday in one piece. Her return journey consisted of four journeys as she had a stop each time - 1 red 😩 and 3 green 😅.

Shes done zero studying this holiday, and is off to visit a friend in France next week. I hope she knows what she’s doing and doesn’t fail any exams..

Happy birthday to mini Piggy and mini Shimy. Last year of being teenagers!

I've had the conversation this week with DS that next year should be a lot better. He's made a few friends and is happy with those he will share a house with but won't be bothered in the slightest if he doesn't cross paths with any of this year's flatmates again. No-one has fallen out but they haven't hit it off either. Thank goodness for his sports.

Thank you all for your messages of support, I’m really grateful for them, this truly is a lovely oasis within Mumsnet.
I am so proud of dd and how well she has dealt with the incident. Luckily, I suppose, the incident didn’t happen on campus, she hadn’t had any alcohol so was able to think fairly clearly and the perpetrators were not students so she does feel safe in RHUL. The counselling has been brilliant and I’m hoping she’s relatively unscathed and has processed it sufficiently that there won’t be damaging long term implications. She’s had a lovely picnic this afternoon with friends ( the weather must be better there than here!) and is working well towards her end of year exams.
Sorry to hear of others with struggles and, as always, it’s brilliant hearing of the happiness and successes.

DS was safely delivered back to Nottingham yesterday. It was very busy outside Rutland due to some American Football game going on and lots moving back in. Not too much mud for once though @Oblomov23 DS was excited to go back this time, despite not doing any of the work he should've done over Easter 🤦 He seems to have moved in the opposite direction to @Heifer and @crazycrofter DD's. It was much easier to leave him there and say see you in June He has no plans for constant visits home or my drop everything rescue trips.
He's even sorted a house share for next year and has a moving in date in September. Just praying he actually passes his first year now 😱

We are on a child free weekend in Cornwall, walked to Fowey yesterday. If this is life with the DC at university, I am looking forwards to a bit more empty nest!

Looks lovely Monkey. More of that. 🪹
Good to hear re no mud Mummy.

Thank you @Heifer That was so nice of them to come over and say hello. Hope she re settles .
@ealingwestmum DS is having a party apparently tonight, so it seems spirits are high. Maybe it's what they all need to break up the tension and DS's bday is a godsend. It was the flatmates that organised the party as a surprise for DS.

@crazycrofter I haven't been able to catch up with DS yet re housing and what steps they are taking. I'll find out what's going on towards the weekend. I'm hoping that this boy is not moving in with them! Zero tolerance!

Good luck to DD and her exams. Where there's a will.....

@Piggywaspushed Happy birthday to DS! how time flies. Is he doing anything? we got a cake delivered to DS's hall.

@EwwSprouts Thanks. Fingers crossed for next yr. It's as if they're just going to uni all over again what with new accommodation and new dynamics. DS will also have to get the bus in everyday so I'm hoping he manages to 'organise' himself (adhd). How far is your 2nd yr accommodation from the uni?

@Monkey2001 Enjoy your childfree-ness and that pic looks beautiful an oasis of tranquility & peace.

@Oblomov23 How are you and the back, and improvement?

@Shimy Glad that his friends feel they want to put on a party. Hopefully in a student area buses are frequent? DS's house is about the same distance as his current halls but the other side of the science campus, so about a mile. They're not in the buzzing student area as they couldn't afford it but he will be closer to the sports facilities.

@Monkey2001 Gorgeous view. We had a week in Polruan about 5 years ago. The cottage had a huge window with window seat overlooking the estuary. Could happily have moved there.

@Monkey2001 What a wonderful view!

DS should probably have been revising this weekend, GCSEs start this week. Instead, he and DW are just starting a long drive home; he's only gone and won his event at the national junior sailing regatta! (He and my DW are both windsurfers.) They're off to the World Championships in Brittany in the summer (and I'm taking him to some UK things when DW can't get away from work).

Probably time for one more load of laundry before they get back.