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Parents of adult children

Wondering how to stop worrying about your grown child? Speak to others in our Parents of Adult Children forum.

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Thread 46 - GCSE Covid Cohort , Searching for Summer Solstice

990 replies

OrangeCinnamonLatte · 24/04/2023 22:12

This is a support thread for our young adults post GCSEs 2020, regardless of their educational setting, and their results ( or life updates for those who went into work or have had results earlier). It is respectfully requested that all are supportive and helpful to each other. If you want to start a debate, e.g state vs private, uni vs employment please don't within this thread.

Some of us have been here since first thread back in yr10, some will be new. Everyone has been friendly and helpful in the past. Everyone is welcome. It is hoped this will continue. We were previously on the secondary board and then further education, now we shall be here in 'Parents of Adult Children' gulp

Our DS/DD may continue down various pathways ( employment, apprenticeships, higher ed). Be warned there might be lots of 'Uni Freshers' chat this time of year. My experience is that everyone is welcomed wherever, whatever their child is doing we have some in work, gap years , apprenticeships etc too. Lots of contributors with different experiences and always sympathy and advice to be had.

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Shimy · 04/05/2023 14:44

Oh dear @Oblomov23 . That's not the news I was hoping for Sad. Let's hope the MRI guides them in the right direction.

Good luck to all those doing exams. DS doesn't start until 15/5.

icanbewhatiwant · 07/05/2023 13:50

I have just spent ages catching up. My app isn’t working, then I couldn’t find the new thread via google. Sorry to hear your back is still bad @Oblomov23 too many things have happened since I was last on to comment on them all.

Ds has had 4 final essays/assessments over the past few weeks. The final one is due 4pm tomorrow. Then year 1 is finished for him. I’m collecting him and most of his stuff Tuesday. Apparently he will be leaving his bedding and is going to go back for a weekend sometime in June as rent is paid until 23rd June. I can see him changing his mind once home and not wanting to return to collect his bedding and hand in the keys. The first year has gone so quickly.

Shimy · 07/05/2023 15:37

Agreed,1st yr has gone by unbelievably quickly. DS starts his exams on 15/5 not sure when he finishes but should be home by end of June. I hope they all have a wonderful term, especially after exams and assignments have been handed in. A few days or weeks of grace where they can just relax and have a bit more fun before coming home to work/internships/volunteering.

EwwSprouts · 07/05/2023 17:03

First year has raced by. DS starts exams on Tuesday. He would not have liked long written assignments. Like @Shimy DS he's going to come home for a while then go back for sport & socialising.

Decorhate · 07/05/2023 19:05

Ds is coming home again for a week. Lectures finishing & a couple of weeks till exams. I am a bit concerned at how much time he has spent at home this year & that it means he has not settled (though obv happy to see him & for him to come home regularly if that’s what he needs).

@Oblomov23 Sorry to hear about your problems. Hope things get sorted soon.

crazycrofter · 07/05/2023 19:58

Dd is visiting a friend in France and sending me photos from Paris. Tomorrow they are taking a bus to Amsterdam. Back to uni on Tuesday and hopefully she’ll start working for her exams which are in a couple of weeks..

PhotoDad · 07/05/2023 21:56

Yes, the year has flown by!

DD has had an "every cloud has a silver lining" moment. She had planned to share a house with five or six friends, but that fell through. In the last week or so, the group has somewhat fallen apart over some matters of gender-politics and feelings are running high. Luckily DD is being (I think) very mature about things; she'd like to save the friendships, but not "at all costs." I generally think that she's got a good head on her shoulders. She's coming home at the end of this month and it'll be really nice to have her around again.

NCTDN · 07/05/2023 22:29

Has she got accommodation sorted though?

PhotoDad · 07/05/2023 22:35

Yes, a single room in an HMO. So she can make new friends there if possible, but will also be 10-20 minutes walk from some of her current group (who are also scattered to various places). It could be a lot worse!

crazycrofter · 07/05/2023 23:17

Ah, that’s a shame @PhotoDad after such a good year, but at least there’s no anxiety about accommodation. I’m sure she’ll make some new friends too.

estherfrewen · 08/05/2023 07:09

That's a shame @PhotoDad but glad she has accommodation sorted. DS tells me thar his college - the one closest to where your DD is - the resident fox has had three babies - he is very excited by that. He facetimed last night to show us the fairy lights on the college trees which is really pretty. It is an open college if your DD ever fancied drawing there.

@Oblomov23 - really hope you get some answers about your back soon.

estherfrewen · 08/05/2023 07:11

I thought I'd managed to change my name back to craggyrat but clearly not!

Piggywaspushed · 08/05/2023 07:45

DS has now declared (to DH) that he is coming home for the summer next weekend.

Personally, I think this is too early. He's got loads of weeks left paying for accommodation and meal plan. And on a selfish note, this means I am now cooking meals every day and buying a bigger food shop! (DH gets fed by his work most days). I love having DS around but do also like not having to housewife for a few weeks (believe me, this does not come naturally to me!). I think DS is bored tbh and ready for the year to be over. Many of his mates have exams and are last minute types so have locked themselves away to work. He was so bred yesterday he went for a walk down the canal all by himself!

He seems a bit flat in general at the moment. He spent ages picking about 8 modules for next year, having been told some would be oversubscribed. He thought he had to do two compulsory modules and had 4 options - he likes contemporary the best so those were his top 2 but he had added China , something on colonialism and a special Auschwitz unit into the mix. Now he discovers he only ever gets two options, it seems. But no info on the compulsory ones. He's not one not to read things carefully! This does seem a bit narrow. I do wonder if semester systems lead to rather less variety in degrees? Back in my day, I did loads of different units- all lasting basically for a 9 week term.

Piggywaspushed · 08/05/2023 07:46

Btw esther, I had this issue when I changed my username - once you have posted on a thread in one name, you can't change back/it defaults . I think it is something MN have done to put a a stop to sock puppeting.

estherfrewen · 08/05/2023 08:11

Thanks @Piggywaspushed - that must be why. It was so odd as it literally changed itself to my old one and now won't change back. Ah well! I know what you mean about the whole housekeeping thing. I don't find it comes naturally either. DS has done exams and his friends on other courses do them later in the term. This is a really weird term for him work wise and I think he's a bit bored! One module at the Fitzwilliam one extended essay. He hasn't had to pick next year's modules yet.

ExtremelyDetermined · 08/05/2023 08:20

My DS is done with it all too, he's come home again this weekend and only really going back today because of his driving lessons up there. Lectures ended a week ago, he's got a couple of assignments to finish and says everyone is just hanging out drinking every night which is a bit much for him - previously he has been staying in his room to work some evenings but no need now as it can be done in daytime, so its boring to stay in the room plus FOMO. This is a downside of being in a small town, not much in the way of alternative things to do of an evening such as cinema. His sport has finished for the season. They don't bother going into town much because drink is cheaper on campus. Also although he knows lots of people he hasn't really developed closer friends who might suggest going somewhere together, the difficulties of being autistic. He has to be out of halls at the end if May so not long to go now.

ExtremelyDetermined · 08/05/2023 08:24

@Oblomov23 so sorry about your ongoing back problems, hope you get some answers soon.

@PhotoDad sorry about DD's friendship circle going pear-shaped, the gender thing is very divisive, glad she's got accommodation sorted, she seems like a resilient young woman.

PhotoDad · 08/05/2023 10:01

Thanks all, DD is pretty resilient, thankfully! New housemates next year is probably a good thing.

It seems that the everyone's end of the uni year is a bit ill-defined, with DC drifting home at various times. I hope that everyone with exams manages to get through them smoothly.

ProggyMat · 08/05/2023 10:30

Sending positive vibes to all with end of year exams/ assignments 🍀
DD had start of term collections ( exams) so they’re ‘done n dusted’ but has an extremely heavy workload this term and will be grafting up to 17th June.
Her friends reading other subjects can’t believe the volume of work the classicist have.One of her tutors has said that this term and next are the heaviest across the whole degree - she sits the infamous Classics Mods in term 5 so perhaps that’s the reason…
Her ‘social wings’ have been ‘clipped’ a bit’ this term but she’s finding solace in planning a summer holiday to Athens, Corinth and Mycenae - with a few islands thrown in 🤣
Not long until they’re all home for the summer! 😊

crazycrofter · 08/05/2023 10:42

It’s so early to be finishing isn’t it? I think DD’s exams finish on 31st May. She said she might come back for a few days the week after to fit in some warehouse shifts, but she’ll be back in Nottingham for the end of year formal. She’s going to Spain on 13th June so I guess we’ll need to collect all her stuff the weekend before.

I can’t wait till we can move all her stuff into the new house and not worry about the constant clearing out.

Delphigirl · 08/05/2023 15:53

Hi everyone. Sorry to hear of Oblomov’s bad back and Photodad’s DDs housing issues. I am back to work tomorrow after 2 weeks off nursing DH who is making a great recovery from his op. Counting down the days until next Sunday when ds2 reappears and I can hear all the stories of his great adventure sailing 7000nm half way round the world. Then 2 weeks later ds1 returns from his US year abroad (first sight of him since Christmas) and I get him for all of 48 hours before he buggers off to london to start his internship! So all happening here… feels like summer is on its way.

Shimy · 08/05/2023 16:05

Well done to DS for securing an internship @Delphigirl those are quite hard to come by yet seem to be the key to more lucrative future employment.

As DS2 prepares for his end of yr exams, DS2 is also about to hand in his dissertation this week..eek!he is still writing his report and I hope his program all works as it should. I keep remembering the disaster mine was all those yrs back. but he's more tech savvy than I was thankfully.

Delphigirl · 08/05/2023 16:10

Thanks Shimy! Yes I’m really pleased for him - it sounds like the fact of his year abroad and the courses he studied there really swung it. Good luck to your ds2 in his dissertation - mine was a disaster because I wrote it in longhand and then had to pay to get it typed (stone she’s, obv) - it was half in French and I paid extra for a bilingual secretary but when I got it back it was apparent she had no French whatsoever. I had to go to her house and spend a whole afternoon marking up pages and getting her to re type and re type again, all with less than a day before hand-in. God what a stress. At least they have control of their text these days!!

Delphigirl · 08/05/2023 16:11

Stone ages

ExtremelyDetermined · 08/05/2023 21:50

I typed my dissertation on my mum’s Amstrad Word Processor, which was brand new, she taught secretarial courses so always had typewriters previously, it was amazing. My industrial placement year project was handwritten and drawn a year earlier, I still have a copy and look in wonderment at how neat it was. How things change.

Dropped DS back off this afternoon, he had perked up a bit. We have been shifting a lot of furniture this weekend for house renovations so it was useful having him home. I am taking my parents up to visit him next weekend (we will pick him up and all go out for lunch). So that will be nice, hoping the weather improves though.