Thread 42 Corona GCSE Cohort - 👻Creeping it Real for Oct22

[CinnamonOrangeCremeBrulee]

This is a support thread for our young adults post GCSEs 2020, regardless of their educational setting, and their results ( or life updates for those who went into work or have had results earlier). It is respectfully requested that all are supportive and helpful to each other. If you want to start a debate, e.g state vs private, uni vs employment please don't within this thread.

Some of us have been here since first thread back in yr10, some will be new. Everyone has been friendly and helpful in the past. Everyone is welcome. It is hoped this will continue. We were previously on the secondary board and then further education, now we shall be here in 'Parents of Adult Children' gulp

Our DS/DD may continue down various pathways ( employment, apprenticeships, higher ed). Be warned there might be lots of 'Uni Freshers' chat this time of year. My experience is that everyone is welcomed wherever, whatever their child is doing we have some in work, gap years , apprenticeships etc too. Lots of contributors with different experiences and always sympathy and advice to be had.

previous thread

Thanks for the new thread. Contact is very frequent here. It ranges from ‘how do I roast a red pepper?’ text messages to long chats on FaceTime. She’s always been great at communicating with us- sometimes sharing more than I need to know!! I‘m so glad to hear of all the positive news on here but feel so sad for those who are finding things tricky. Let’s hope everyone finds happiness and some stability soon.

@Dontcallmebaby Not sure if you are still posting but if love to here how things are going. My y12 is a huge linguistics/language/Korean fan (K-pop as a stat point but has taught herself Korean over the last four years) and is considering Korean/Asian studies…

Thanks, Oblomov.
Its all a bit of a mess, in so far as DD keeps up a good act that she’s managing, when she’s not and the first we know about it is when she’s hit rock bottom.
Last week she told us she was doing great, wasn’t homesick, didn’t need any help, was winning at life and loving it.
Fast forward and what’s really going on is she isn’t eating because she couldn’t manage a proper food shop and is struggling with use by dates, what needs freezing, what to cook when, and being embarrassed to try because the rest of the flatmates are all excellent cooks.
She’s also not responding to messages from friends because she’s finding adulting too overwhelming.
Almost certainly, that means she’s not taking her medication and has let go of self-care - she messaged in a panic to say her gums have started bleeding and her hair’s falling out.
She said she was homesick, lonely and felt everything was falling apart.

She’s meant to have a mentor for study skills and another for general uni life support, but hasn’t arranged a meeting with either.

She doesn’t have any of her DSA support in place, because the nominated supplier was appalling, so we told her to cancel her order and request another supplier, but SFW gave us the wrong email address to contact DSA; we only found out today, having emailed them in the 19th September.
Only DD can contact DSA, which is a major effort in itself, and they will respond in 5 working days…so that’s another week at least before we can hope to initiate her order with a new supplier.

It’s really exhausting, trying to press her into action remotely.
I spent most of yesterday, in a WhatsApp convo with her, talking her through washing, shopping, cooking, admin (literally “ walk to the freezer…now get the mince out and put it on a plate to defrost…now go to the shop and buy milk…ok, now have some cereal and take your meds…” etc)

I can't leave this thread for more than a couple of hours, can I?

DD contributes to the family WhatsApp most days. Asking/answering practical questions, and sharing artwork (yay!!) We've had one phone-call each week as well. Very happy with that balance.

@Isthisjustnormal Hello! All seems to be going swimmingly at the moment. DD’s inspiration was K-pop too, not that she (or anyone else) would admit it when asked on an open day 🤣 She started teaching herself Korean at the start of last year, mostly Duolingo with a bit of backup research. UCLan introduced us to the term ‘false beginner’ where you’ve learned some of a language but really need to start at the beginning again … don’t know whether she’s been assessed yet but she did find early lectures (she’s completed week 3, she’s been there longer than a lot of other unis) frustrating as the lecturer was pointing at the romanisation and she has hangeul mastered.

I must admit I’m terrified she’ll fall behind, or it’ll prove too hard (it’s a hard language, to date she has grade 5 GCSE French!). She’s been so focussed on this as what she wants to do, there isn’t really a backup plan …

She currently has 2 x 2 hours Korean, 2 x 2 hours TESOL, 2 x 1 hour background to Korea, and 2 hours of her elective (BSL). So a lot of self-directed study and practice needed. She seems to be engaging so far.

UCLan has some other combinations with Korean, and she also applies to York St John, which has similar entry requirements. Sheffield and SOAS do Korean as well, but she wasn’t going to get anywhere near their entry requirements. I wouldn’t be surprised if one or two other unis had managed to spin up Korean courses by 2024 …

She’s also got herself elected as treasurer of a society, which feels like a minor miracle after seven years of doing the bare minimum! She was a very keen little girl through primary school, switched off at secondary (had a very nice time, which is more than I did from 11 to 16, but academically it was nervewracking).

I'm sure that lots of you here need hugs/high-fives/support for various reasons, but I'm rather losing the plot and have just seen @Alsoplayspiccolo's post. That sounds very exhausting, and I can only hope that things settle after a while.

@ealingwestmum @EerilyDevilled @EwwSprouts
DD had ‘an asthma attack’’ in the early hours of this morning - if I could actually frame it as such given our
’GP practice’ - in the waste lands of the North- reckons that she’s ‘borderline asthmatic’ and even getting a blue inhaler is a feat in itself !
Thankfully she’s now been given a ‘brown inhaler’ along with the must fought for blue one…

@Alsoplayspiccolo Sorry to hear your DD is struggling. You sound like the most wonderful mum. Hopefully as term progresses things will start to fall into place.

Sending hugs to @Volterra and @Alsoplayspiccolo . At least you both now know what is going on and can help. Hope things improve.

@ProggyMat you may recall that DS1 had an asthma attack in the summer and ended up in hospital for 3 nights, we were not aware that he had any level of asthma, he was given a blue and a pink inhaler when he left hospital. I have been much more rigorous about hypo-allergenic bedding since, and on the look out for dust and mould. Is it worth checking whether there something in the college room triggered the attack?

@Alsoplayspiccolo
Ok, I've got you my lovely, what a tonne of shit. One step at a time. Practical steps.

Piccolo on a practical level:
@She’s meant to have a mentor for study skills and another for general uni life support, but hasn’t arranged a meeting with either."

So, persuade her to sort those 2 furcstarrrs.

"she’s not taking her medication and has let go of self-care". So, there is core issue no 2. You need to talk about this,

DSA support in place.
Ok. This needs chasing.

@Alsoplayspiccolo i hope your dd gets sorted soon and then you'll feel better.
DD is still loving uni. We've spoken quite a few times and most days there's some sort of message, which is more than I was expecting

@Monkey2001 I was well aware of your posts about your DS1 and his stay in hospital- sorry I was probs skim reading whilst also being busy at work to comment
💐
Pardon my French to coin a phrase but I was scared as fuck given your posts when I FT her , heard the noise from her chest when she was breathing and the fact she was ‘totally disorientated’

@Alsoplayspiccolo I'm so sorry. Is DD willing to let you access her email to do drafts together? I have DS's personal email on my phone so he can draft things, I can check them before sending and see the replies. I was wondering if her assessor can help. Possibly time for a call from you to the student support dept at the uni too. My DS has really struggled to get the mentoring in place too. Re hair, teeth etc - is she willing to take vitamins and would she remember?

@ProggyMat does she have any idea what might have triggered her attack?

@Alsoplayspiccolo whilst you can't insist she sorts stuff e.g with support, and although they won't tell you anything you can vontact support services and ask them to get in touch / check in with her.

How is Dd with lists? My Dd has to be reminded about self care I send her little lists made in canva as I know she won't even think about writing one herself when she is bad.

I'm sorry it's tough. You are doing a great job being there for her.

The latest posts on her is why this group is so successful. Such a caring attitude to people we haven't met. Such great advice, loving the step by step help. It's useful for so many of us, not just those going through problems at that time. Really hope you can get something in place to help asap @Alsoplayspiccolo.

No, apart from the fact that she said hat her lungs have felt ‘really heavy’ for the last few days which has always been a sign that ‘an attack’ is coming on- it’s usually in autumn and winter that it happens and has gone on for years hence the fight for a ‘blue one’ from GP! 😡
We, as in she and me, live in a former mining village so I’m ruling out that’s it the ‘dust etc’ in her college room etc

@ProggyMat sorry to hear about the asthma attach, that must have been very scary for both of you. Glad the inhalers have finally been obtained. DDs asthma nurse wouldn't let her have the usual blue one without giving her a brown one last year. Although DD never uses it, she has exercise induced asthma and only ever needs it whilst playing hockey but the nurse said they can't give the blue in its own anymore.

Glad to hear that most of you have some form of contact. DD text loads today but only very short FaceTime (min) and went as she wasn't feeling well, tried going to the gym earlier but only lasted 10mins before giving up. Full of cold apparently.
She has a visitor so hoping they just stay in and chill.

Oh @Alsoplayspiccolo it sounds exhausting and overwhelming. Definitely choose one thing - something achievable and get that sorted together. One step at a time. Getting the dsa sorted would possibly be my priority, alongside getting decent, easy food inside her. Can you get some
esay stuff sorted for her and delivered maybe? Filled pasta/higher quality pot noodles/soups? And a few treats ;-) Maybe it’s just me but I can cope much better if I’m fed ;-). Sending lots of solidarity, whatever priorities feel Right to you and dd

Just read your update too @ProggyMat : yikes, asthma is scary isn’t it.

Happy birthday to your DS @Delphigirl !

Both DCs.are back. Decision made, DS won’t be going back this year . He isn’t well and needs to focus on his physical and mental health before he can do a degree. He has had awful healthcare from our previous GP who has now ‘retired’ as has gone from being head of practice to not being able to practice without supervision after a recent GMC hearing . We need to get him registered at our new GP, get bloods asap and see if his meds need adjusting again which I suspect they do and get him some counselling, then regular monitoring to see if can get his bloods stable finally.

Usually I would say he needs to push through and it will be fine but DH and I both feel he is getting sicker and sicker overall the last couple of years and really needs to focus on getting well then revisit university and possibly choice of degree further down the line, He needs to decide if he asks to defer till next year where he is or withdraw and reapply but those decisions are for another time. He did end the night smiling again. One of his flat mates left this week too and unfortunately he was the person he got on the best with. . Hasn’t been well with the various bugs that are around but this is much more than that. He had been making an effort going to societies but just not feeling well enough.

Oh @Volterra sorry to hear things were that bad, it seems so sudden, I think maybe you had just been quiet. Of course their health is more important than a years delay to university. Well done for a decisive response to the situation.