Thread 42 Corona GCSE Cohort - 👻Creeping it Real for Oct22

[CinnamonOrangeCremeBrulee]

This is a support thread for our young adults post GCSEs 2020, regardless of their educational setting, and their results ( or life updates for those who went into work or have had results earlier). It is respectfully requested that all are supportive and helpful to each other. If you want to start a debate, e.g state vs private, uni vs employment please don't within this thread.

Some of us have been here since first thread back in yr10, some will be new. Everyone has been friendly and helpful in the past. Everyone is welcome. It is hoped this will continue. We were previously on the secondary board and then further education, now we shall be here in 'Parents of Adult Children' gulp

Our DS/DD may continue down various pathways ( employment, apprenticeships, higher ed). Be warned there might be lots of 'Uni Freshers' chat this time of year. My experience is that everyone is welcomed wherever, whatever their child is doing we have some in work, gap years , apprenticeships etc too. Lots of contributors with different experiences and always sympathy and advice to be had.

previous thread

anon2022anon, welcome!

Sorry to hear about some really difficult challenges, @Volterra and @Alsoplayspiccolo. Hope things improve.

I'm in awe of all your communicative children. We went 2 weeks before getting our first communication from DS, and that was just a one-line text saying he'd call that night, which he didn't, and was only prompted by DD telling him she'd have to come and knock on his door if he didn't provide proof of life. We've only had one actual conversation in four weeks, and we got that because the dog died. We haven't got any more pets, so can't try that trick again. He's just as bad with friends and siblings, so it doesn't seem to be a specifically anti-parent thing.

What we'd do if we didn't have a DD in the same city I've no idea. DD 'needs to use his shower on Fridays' now (he lives near her football training), so that's something. She says he seems happy enough at uni. But he does tend to spiral in terms of mental health sometimes, so I don't feel we can just assume no news is good news.

Anyone got any clever tips for encouraging more communication from incredibly uncommunicative boys, without being needy or naggy? He's our last to leave home and we miss him (and the dog too). The odd chat with him would mean the world.

Sorry to hear that Volterra, but as you say definitely the right decision, and not the end of the world. Plenty of time to make new decisions, when he feels ready.

Sorry to hear that too Paddington. That's such poor service. DD is lucky to have you, fighting her corner.

Welcome anon. Loving hearing about the swimming Craggy. Laughing at Doggerel communication - dog dying: "so can't try that trick again" . No tips, I'd just text and insist on a FaceTime call this weekend. Tell him it's - Just so you can check he's still alive.

also are you on the Birmingham parents' Facebook at all? Some good support there and not as fraught as WIWIKAU. You might be able to arrange for someone from film soc to look DD up.

Thanks for the welcome! I've probably got the abbreviation wrong, she's at Newcastle Uni

@Volterra Good on him for recognising now is not the time. I bet he feels a huge sense of relief having told you.

@anon2022anon Hi. Suspect we are in the same corner of the world. Carvers chips?

@Volterra that sounds like the right decision all round. I hope you get a better service from the new GP.

@Alsoplayspiccolo i don’t live in Brum anymore but I’m on campus two days a week so if there’s anything I can do to help (a lift to Aldi?!) do let me know. It’s a lot to get to grips with. My ADHD ds seemed to be doing great at sixth form until the last week when old issues have resurfaced 😩.

It’s a shame so few unis do catered accommodation these days. It’s much easier for them to get used to all the other changes if they’re not having to worry about food shopping and cooking too.

@DoggerelBank is your ds on BeReal? My dd is trying to get me to join and add her and ds. The app reminds you to post a picture every day - it has to be done in a two minute window. You’d then know he was alive!

@Heifer when I looked the other day, it seemed as if the tram from the uni to the station is direct? Dd is coming home tomorrow and getting the train back, then tram, so we’ll find out then and let you know!

@crazycrofter Haha, yes, DD suggested BeReal, as she mentioned she'd spotted DS alive on it. I've joined and posted, but haven't seen DS yet. I live in hope! He's just not much of a social media person/ Although DH is my Instagram spy on the girls, it's no good for DS.
@Oblomov22 Maybe you're right to just be firmer. I might try scheduling a weekly Sunday evening FaceTime and see if that works - presumably his phone would give him a reminder earlier in the day. I'm scared I'll become a pest in his eyes if I push too hard, and that'll make it even worse.

@EwwSprouts that's probably on the list for next week! We're in Beverley 😊

@crazycrofter you've done better than me because when I had a quick look yesterday I couldn't work it out! I couldn't see a direct tram tbh. There isn't a useful journey planner on the tram website unforuntely but I did see another one online but haven't look properly yet. DD had planned to meet her visitor (not sure what to call him) last night but decided she didn't feel like it (walk, plus 2 trams) so sent him an uber instead... I suspect it wasn't because she couldn't be bothered but just couldn't sort it quickly and got overwhelmed). So yes please once your DD has sussed it out that would be really useful.

@anon2022anon We used to be in the all white village & are still not too far away. I don't think we will go this year but I love the sights and smells. Enjoy!

@anon2022anon - I love Beverley! DS used to swim galas there every September. Such a nice town. I always looked forward to a day there shopping and visiting the Minster. We are in Harrogate

@Volterra I meant to say that I would suggest he asks to defer this year so that he has the option to go back without going through the application process again, but can choose to reject or ask to transfer to another course at Bath later. I don't think there is anything to lose from doing this rather than just withdrawing as long as he knows that he is keeping the place open just in case he wants it and is not committed. Slight warning - I know that at Cambridge Maths is the only subject for which they do not like a gap year because you can forget too much, so it may be a good idea to think about other options.

Nottingham trams from DS: Toton Lane from town to uni, Hucknall to go to uni from town, never get on Clifton south. Use the net go app to buy tickets fastest.

He has at least got the hang of that @Heifer plus the laundrette if DD needs?

@Monkey2001 thank you, we had come to the same conclusion and I think that’s what he will do. Am hoping they will be ok about a gap year but need to be prepared they might not be. His college wrote to a number of maths departments to ask for their view on it fairly recently and most said they are fine about it so hoping they might be but time will tell on that.

DS has met up with his nerdy friend from school who is at Warwick (about 60 billion replacement buses later anyway!) and thy are currently eating a fry up at Boston Tea Party. Sweet.

Last night's pub crawl must have been a mild affair then...

Buses from Warwick uni would take ages @Piggywaspushed 😩 These rail strikes are so annoying! Although I’m a bit relieved that ds is stranded in our small town for the day and not roaming round Brum with his old friends as he did last week, watching all the protests! It’s nice to know where he is.

I think I've said before Volterra that DN took a gap year from his Maths degree (he worked in a school as a TA as he wants to teach). He was rejected from Warwick after the first Covid results debacle. Ended up with stellar results but kept his insurance of Lancaster where he is ridiculously happy.

Hi all

Thanks for the new thread: great to catch up. So sorry where there are challenges and struggles - it will, am sure, settle down but it can be such a worry!

We use Whatsapp and get fairly regular messages. Also had a couple of longish phone calls. DS very happy - got a viral infection at the end of Fresher's week - managed to get to his first lectures but missed one thing the day after as so poorly. But then got back on track no problem. DS really settled in and enjoying all aspect - study/social stuff. He has a reading week starting Oct 31st and so will come home for two-three days. We have no reading week so I will be working/teaching!

Hi all
DS is supposed to be coming home on the Tuesday for an appt. by public transport, does anyone if he will be affected by the rail strikes? I'm dreading having to drive all the way to Coventry and back and hoping he can travel by himself.

There are no strikes next week

Thank you @CinnamonOrangeCremeBrulee . I had forgotten that it’s great to hear.

Gosh you've been busy chatting,thanks for the new thread.
Welcome to anon
@volterra sorry to hear about your challenges and sounds like the right decision was made.
@Alsoplayspiccolo it must be such a worry but I am sure your support is really helping and hope she gets her support sorted soon
@heifer I haven't been back for years as my dad died just before DS was born and my mum moved abroad. My brother also now lives abroad. I had a small circle of friends who also moved away. Last time I went I hardly recognised the place and I'm sure even more so now!

dS has called/facetimed 3 times this week and making noises about coming home for a weekend so think he is maybe a little homesick. He has said he loves it there and enjoying the course which is good. He was going clubbing last night and has now joined mountain bike club and I think there's a meet tomorrow to find out more so hopefully he'll be off on some rides soon.