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Graduates returning to the nest, a new start for all!
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VanCleefArpels · 01/07/2022 23:08

Carrying on from the 2019/20 Uni students thread let’s talk about what it’s like to have our fresh graduates home, for some of us invading our nice empty nest, for all of us creating a new household dynamic…….

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RampantIvy · 02/07/2022 07:24

Thank you for starting this thread. My dilemma is what to buy for DD's birthday which is the day before she moves back. She has so much "stuff".
Luckily, I can put her kitchen and household things in the loft until she moves out again.

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LouisCatorze · 02/07/2022 07:58

Thanks for starting the new thread @VanCleefArpels . DS hasn't decided what he's doing re 'coming home to live' now he's finished. Still got over a month left on house share contract, plus the option to flit backwards and forwards to g/f's halls (doing Masters so she's there until the end of September). They want to get a flat together but as he's not yet got a 'proper graduate job' I can't necessarily see that happening imminently.

When he was visiting a couple of weeks ago, he and DD reverted to their tween/teen dynamic which I was finding a bit much.

Not looking forward to having to accommodate lots of 'kit' for the foreseeable. There's not enough room! Quite good at decluttering regularly but still.

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Benjispruce4 · 02/07/2022 08:24

Thanks @VanCleefArpels . DD home tomorrow. She has the student house until mid July but the rest are leaving as they have jobs or internships to start so she doesn’t want to be alone there. She has a wfh job that she’ll continue. It pays well but doesn’t really help with the dynamic at home as DD2 now finished A levels, will be home more too. She’s supposed to be getting more shifts at the pub as she needs to save for uniI but it’s a touchy subject as she doesn’t seem to view it as a priority. I also work term time so will be home lots.
Is it wrong that I’m not particularly looking forward to the next month or two? 🤔

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mdh2020 · 02/07/2022 08:35

When our’s came home they had jobs and did their own washing. They paid to put in a separate phone line so I wasn’t constantly answering the phone to their friends. Our house is littered with phone wires that no one will cut and remove. At least parents don’t have to face that problem now.

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Benjispruce4 · 02/07/2022 08:43

DD already does her own washing when home but it’s not economical so I often put it on with ours. I don’t do her ironing (she doesn’t iron much as not that sort of clothing) though.

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VanCleefArpels · 02/07/2022 08:53

Oh the STUFF - I’d ditch it all if it wasn’t for the fact that it will be useful if/when she moves out again! Vacuum storage bags for bedding and out of season clothes is a game changer for attic storage.

DD’s job has a 6 month probation period so we know she will be here for that long at least. It will require lots of tolerance (mostly from me!). I’m hoping that once she starts (hasn’t got a start date yet as the job requires vetting which has only just completed) and gets into a routine we will get into a new groove.

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LouisCatorze · 02/07/2022 08:55

@VanCleefArpels will she be working in the office some days per week? I think that is the game-changer in terms of having them back at home. Not so bad if they're out and about a fair amount, although clearly not if they're coming back from socialising at all hours!

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Xenia · 02/07/2022 09:10

Mine are a bit older but still interested in this thread and the issues (I have 2 nights alone now which is very very are these days and lovely). Covid also had an impact - my twins were forced by Govenrment edict home for the last term of university in 2020 and then their law conversion course was 100% online due to covid - did not meet a single person on the course, although one lived in Bristol and both have been home this year for the follow's year's Legal Practice Course. My daughters were the same - both came home after university before covid times and did 2 years of law school from home.

Being home for them was totally different from the twins due to covid and not covid. With the girls whey were out at least 4 days a week at lectures on long days commuting. The twins could do almost everything from home and their friends in new graduate jobs seem mostl to work from their parents' large houses. Last summer my son had a 3 month job as a para legal and was out 12 hours a day. Having someone out 7am to 7pm is totally different in terms of having a child living at home as someone who works fro home and is in in and out of hte kitchen etc etc. Even basic things like how much toilet paper are used is different if they work from home. It seems to apply across so many jobs - their friend is a trainee accountant with a very big firm and he is mostly at home; another is in financial services and it is the same. However they do have friends in graduate jobs who rent flats - that is where one of mine is for 2 nights - at someone's rented place where his university friends are so it is definitely not the case that no one rents of course.

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VanCleefArpels · 02/07/2022 09:14

@LouisCatorze totally in the office for the probation period then possibility of flexible working after that but it’s a security sensitive role (hence the vetting) so not really sure how that would work. If the experience of my older one is anything to go by the youth do prefer to be in the workplace for the social side - plus I’m not sure the broadband would cope with DH and I both WFH so I’d not be unhappy with an office based job for DD!!

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VanCleefArpels · 02/07/2022 09:16

@Xenia hello - I’m glad you are here because you impart some great wisdom hard earned over the years I’m sure!

abd yes pre covid graduate (my older one) and this one having very different experiences

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Benjispruce4 · 02/07/2022 09:30

Our young people need to learn from others in the workplace. I really don’t want DD’s jobs to be wfh.

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MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 02/07/2022 09:32

Just marking my place so I can come back later and join in.

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bigTillyMint · 02/07/2022 10:10

We are still in Durham - going to have a day at the coast today then bring DS, gf and all his stuff back tomorrow. I will be gritting my teeth to get through the next couple of weeks at home then hopefully DD and DS settle into a calmer permanent routine 🤞🏼

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bigTillyMint · 02/07/2022 10:12

I agree @Benjispruce4! However DD quite likes rolling out of bed onto her laptop. And less travel costs. But ideally 2/3 days in the office would be good!

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RampantIvy · 02/07/2022 10:16

Benjispruce4 · 02/07/2022 09:30

Our young people need to learn from others in the workplace. I really don’t want DD’s jobs to be wfh.

I agree. It is so isolating as well. I feel sorry for our young people who won't have the same camaraderie from being office based the way the rest of us with office jobs have had.

Do your twins only have friends with large houses @Xenia? (Tongue in cheek Grin)

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LouisCatorze · 02/07/2022 10:38

Yes, I agree that for young people working in the office is good. Yes, to learning from others and also for networking. If networking is integral to getting promoted, you need to be seen and 'clocked' for redeeming qualities and skillset. Easier being there surely than at the other end of Teams or Zoom in the main? DS has an interim job starting in August which is 100% wfh as far as I can tell. He is a bit anti-social so I'm not overly happy about that.

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Benjispruce4 · 02/07/2022 10:45

@bigTillyMint lucky goi getting a few days up there. DH. It happy at having to drive back up after only just being there but we just didn’t have time . We brought 3 huge bags back though. She only has the box room here. Help!!

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Benjispruce4 · 02/07/2022 10:46

*Is not happy

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bigTillyMint · 02/07/2022 10:54

We were lucky that his graduation was on a Friday so whole weekend after - just as well as I am feeling much more like it today!

We will have to drive back after DDs on Tues and we can’t leave as early as planned to drive there on Monday evening as she is needed in a top meeting on Teams.

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LouisCatorze · 02/07/2022 11:01

@Benjispruce4 a long round trip so soon after the graduation one. Your poor DH.

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Benjispruce4 · 02/07/2022 11:05

I know! Her housemates are within a couple of hours of Durham apart from one and she’s getting the train home as her parents stayed over and took most of her stuff the next day. Though I’m guessing she’s abandoning her bedding!

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bigTillyMint · 02/07/2022 13:07

We are abandoning DSs bedding! He says he will have just 3 bags, so should be fine in the car!

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Benjispruce4 · 02/07/2022 13:15

It’s tempting to leave it but could be useful for DD2 .

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blametheparents · 02/07/2022 13:33

Good to see everybody over here and catch up on all your news.

DS is home from Nottingham and has a job which starts in September. I, too, am very much hoping that most of it is in the office and not at home. We live in a London commuter area so it’s better for him to live at home for a while to try and save up, but he definitely wants to move on as soon as he can, and who can blame him for that?
His rent in Nottingham continues until the end of august so I know that he intends to spend some time there, and he’ll also have somewhere to stay for graduation which is handy.
Results come next week. Hopefully he’s done well!

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Xenia · 02/07/2022 15:15

Ramp, it is a good question about inequality and rich older employers assuming young new starters can "work from home" at ease when for the less well off that might mean a shared bed room, not much broadband, tiny room no one would want to be in for 24/7. The twins, in the 2 years they have been doing post grad law courses/exams, have been seeing local friends again who were at their private day school with them and those friends are living at home with parents with nice houses. In fact for some it is a cultural rule almost that you live with your parents until you marry ( we live in an Indian etc area and my neighbour opposite who is my age has lived with his parents his entire life and his wife seems to get on with her so that is just as well). Note to self - this is not my culture so the twins will be encouraged to leave in a few years' time (unless I need a residential carer by then I suppose).

However they do have some renting including near where one of my older children lives in Maida Vale actually and some renting near the other daughter near the City.

I think they need to go into an office to learn what it is really like, make proper friends and learn skills. I would have loved in my day to work in the office only a few days a week.

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