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Graduates returning to the nest, a new start for all!

459 replies

VanCleefArpels · 01/07/2022 23:08

Carrying on from the 2019/20 Uni students thread let’s talk about what it’s like to have our fresh graduates home, for some of us invading our nice empty nest, for all of us creating a new household dynamic…….

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LouisCatorze · 27/10/2022 14:54

@ZandathePanda really hope that the surgery goes well for your DD2. Well done with her upgrade to 3A*s. You must be so proud of her. She seems to be extraordinarily resilient. Let's hope that the surgical intervention helps her towards leading a more normal and carefree life as she should be doing.

@RampantIvy good to hear that your DD has managed to reduce her hours. It sounds very full-on.

Well done to your DD @MargaretThursday .

Personal finance related education should start at secondary school and should be every much part of the National Curriculum as RE, I'd say @VanCleefArpels . Thanks for the book recommendation.

Have a lovely time visiting your DD1 @Benjispruce4 , and hoping your DD2 is okay.

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ZandathePanda · 27/10/2022 09:34

Dh is extremely good at explaining the financial stuff but works in a related field. Which is probably why Dd hasn’t taken huge interest before as it’s easy to get a quick answer from him. He gets so annoyed that they don’t teach the basics at school. He loved going through it all last night with her.

I think the problem is when they do teach it at school, it’s not examined nor relevant at that point, so pupils switch off. It’s like different washing powder/liquid - only becomes relevant the first term of university!

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VanCleefArpels · 27/10/2022 08:35

On matters financial I follow Claer Barrett on social media and will be ordering this for DD who is frankly clueless about anything practical (why they don’t teach this stuff at school is beyond me, or even a course in 3rd year Uni to prepare for “real life”)

Habits to Get You Unstuck and on the Road to Financial Freedom
amzn.eu/d/baLvRyp?tag=mumsnet&ascsubtag=mnforum-21

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MargaretThursday · 26/10/2022 22:17

@ZandathePanda

Hope it all goes well. It's so difficult to make decisions when it isn't clear cut which way to go.

My good news is dd seems to have got a job. She's checking the contract now and feeling horrified at 8:30am starts, having been used to drifting up slowly! She thinks it sounds interesting, so I hope it works out.

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ZandathePanda · 26/10/2022 20:57

Benji how’s your younger one doing?

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Benjispruce4 · 26/10/2022 19:42

Ah @RampantIvy i wondered how she was doing That’s great that she was able to reduce hrs. Hope it helps.

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ZandathePanda · 26/10/2022 18:48

@RampantIvy Threads like that one don’t bother me tbh - I just try to say my piece in a fair way but Oxbridge stirs something irrational in certain people. All I was trying to point out was that pupils should aim for the best possible experience for them overall as when you get a payslip, that will have your student loan being deducted for years, you want to make sure it was a worthwhile and enjoyable experience.

The topic was on my mind as Dd1 received her first paycheque. So she has a new interest in taxation matters today which Dh is going through with her as I write.

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RampantIvy · 26/10/2022 17:06

@ZandathePanda I hope the surgery is a resounding success. I guess all of you feel "robbed" of what might have been. It's OK to have a pity party now and again Flowers

I agree with you about the batshittery. There are some very patronising, supercilious and socially unaware posters on those boards.

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ZandathePanda · 26/10/2022 16:30

Thank you xxxx Dd2 waiting for tricky, invasive surgeries which is agonising as the chances of success have to be weighed against chances of something going wrong. She’s bravely decided to go ahead as she wants the chance to live a normal life. Can’t remember if you know (but I will say it again anyway as I am so bloody proud)…she knew there was an essay that was oddly marked and she was right - it went up 8 marks to an A* so she got 3 A stars. She should be at university or working or out getting drunk, rather than being medicated up and choosing button up short sleeved pjs for hospital stays.

Dd1 makes me so proud too. The way she has dealt with everything has been fantastic. She’s a good sounding board for Dd2 as it is such a tough situation. And someone the same generation to be around.

I am distracting myself posting on kitten boards and the occasional batshit Oxbridge thread whilst we wait for doctors/hospitals. Something that a poster said about ‘ultimately you want them to be happy and healthy’ brought me to tears again though. I would give up everything for Dd2 to have that. For her not to worry she’s going to be ill and wake up in hospital every time she goes to bed. To have independence not monitors. And even the (trivial in the scheme of things) choice of being able to keep her hair.

Right better stop, as I am getting too identifiable and soppy. And this is a thread about our very accomplished young people fresh out/ nearly fresh out of university. It is lovely hearing all the stories from all of you. I worry I don’t give Dd1 as much support as I could after university, so it is nice to gauge how others are doing with their fledglings. I made a food parcel of stuff to take back to her new home when she visited the other day and instantly realised I had turned into my mother! I am also realising she will be back fairly regularly to collect parcels from several major retail brands as I am at home most the time to receive them.

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RampantIvy · 26/10/2022 12:49

Thank you @ZandathePanda. I hope DD2 is OK. She did so amazingly well in her A levels.

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ZandathePanda · 26/10/2022 12:21

@RampantIvy that sounds much better and well done her for conducting herself to get to the position that she can reduce her hours. Relief for you too.

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VanCleefArpels · 26/10/2022 11:54

DD had her first day working at home this week -she had to do half her probation period before being allowed to do this so felt like a milestone! It was also one of my work at home days and DH WFH permanently and I found myself cursing at the glitchy broadband - like the worst days of the lockdowns when there were 4 of us all online 🤣

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RampantIvy · 26/10/2022 10:33

DD is enjoying her job and is getting on well with her workmates. The hours are very long, and when HR emailed her to ask how she was getting on she said she loved the job, but requested if she could reduce her hours. A 45 hour week is not good for her CFS.

They responded straight away with yes, so they must like her. So, now she works a 4 day week.

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Benjispruce4 · 26/10/2022 10:27

Hi @LouisCatorze I must’ve sensed your post as haven’t looked in on this thread for a while. DH and I are going to see DD tomorrow and take her out for dinner. Haven’t seen her since she moved down about 6/7 weeks ago so will be nice . She’s been very busy at work and socialising so nothing has changed much for her. How’s everyone else getting on?

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LouisCatorze · 26/10/2022 10:17

How are all our young people getting on, particularly those who have moved into house-shares?

DS has nearly completed the training to get to the next level with his fill-in role. I think at the moment it's suiting him fine, and means he can go and stay with his g/f as and when. It doesn't entirely feel as if he's transitioned to adult life yet but there are decades of that ahead, so can't blame him.

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bigTillyMint · 12/10/2022 22:05

How fab @Benjispruce4!

I’d like a 20min lunch 😀

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Benjispruce4 · 12/10/2022 20:45

DD on her way back from a 4 day team build in Barcelona.5 star resort no less! She couldn’t quite believe the she could claim expenses after years of student life.
Glad your DD is coping so far @RampantIvy though I don’t think a 20min lunch is acceptable, CFS or not!

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LouisCatorze · 10/10/2022 12:46

@simbobs sorry to hear that your DS wrecked his laptop. I guess he's learned the hard way that most rucksacks (unless you buy an expensive one for camping/trekking) aren't properly waterproofed. But who knew? What a total PITA.

There is still the other thread which probably better suits your needs?

I get the feeling that DS is unlikely to ever set foot in his former uni city again! It's a bit sad really.

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simbobs · 10/10/2022 10:44

Some of us still have a DC at uni, final year, so not sure whether this thread is still the best for us. However, it is really heartening to read of DC who have successfully embarked on their careers.

As usual my DS's restart at uni has not been without problems. He was happy to be going back (though lectures are still online!) and then managed to wreck his laptop on the way to a seminar group by cycling in one of the monumental showers of last week with an inadequately waterproof backpack. Who knew?!
He has had to buy a new one, obviously, as pen and paper doesn't cut it these days.

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ZandathePanda · 10/10/2022 09:53

Yes I did that when you said about your house! Should have kept it and bought another if we’d known!

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blametheparents · 10/10/2022 09:42

@ZandathePanda - Just checked Rightmove and the same style house , in the same road, that I bought for £71k is up for £375k!!!

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ZandathePanda · 10/10/2022 09:32

Dd is enjoying her job and has officially moved out, renting a bus journey from her work. I never went back to living with my parents but my boyfriend’s first house I lived in was £39,000. Same house is £160,000 now. Nightmare for getting on the housing ladder.

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blametheparents · 10/10/2022 09:00

@VanCleefArpels - DS and his uni friends did go out, but they also watched a football game on Sky (which they would always have done together) and also went to the gym a couple of times too so I think that felt like old times!
But I do agree, that as time goes it it becomes more apparent that things are changing.

I was explaining to DS how I bought my first house with my boyfriend 8 months after leaving uni on a joint salary of £33k and a house value of £71k - so a mortgage of roughly double our joint salary. No way is that possible nowadays. Our young people will have to save so hard.

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VanCleefArpels · 10/10/2022 08:44

@blametheparents DD has been back in Uni city a couple of times now and it has emphasised to her how much her life has moved on. It’s tricky with a foot in each world as it were

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VanCleefArpels · 10/10/2022 08:42

DD really enjoying her job and has made contacts within the organisation via training sessions that may be useful as she wants to move from a generalist to a specialist department eventually. One week in 4 she has a very early start which is a bit brutal for a natural sleepy head (!) but is getting on well with a couple of other young new starters so the beginnings of a new more local social circle which is great. Financially, now the student overdraft has gone she has started saving half her salary but I can’t see her moving out any time soon as we live in a v expensive area and her public sector pay isn’t going to increase quickly!!

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