Adult son is a serial cheat

[whattodoforthebest2]

My son is 28, he has a good job and his own flat. We have a good relationship, except for the fact that he habitually cheats on every girlfriend he has ever had. His dad and I separated when he was 15, he has a good relationship with his father but his dad and I are no contact. My son has had a succession of 2-4 year long relationships, always with lovely girlfriends, not only stunning looking but polite, respectful, friendly and trusting girls.

He is due to go on holiday with his gf of 2 years on Saturday. This evening he has asked to stay at mine as he was seeing some mates locally. At 3am I'm woken by him coming upstairs and I go and find my living room and kitchen full of boys drinking. My son isn't there. So I find him in his room in bed with a girl having sex.

This isn't the first time I'm aware that he's cheated on this gf, but she's a lovely girl and I can't stand by and watch this happen.

So what do I do now? My instinct is to contact her via fb and ask her to call me and tell her, either on the phone or in person.

Incidentally I was ready to leave the thread at page 8, but the conversation continued to discuss PDs and associated issues, which has been very informative, so that's all helped too.

The best advice I can think to say is to not get caught up in his cycle of abuse. In a few weeks / months time when the dust has settled he will edge back into your life and begin the drip feed of getting back into your good books and proving that he is a changed man. You have to accept that this is a lie. You can’t cut him off but you can be wise to him. Do not lend him money, do not let him stay and begin to build the respect back up. The main thing is to never fall for his ‘ive changed’ story.

Dear god do not tell the GF! Stay away from that part of his life. The prob is that he's doing it all in your front yard. Most kids would at least hide the behaviour. His indiscretion is his problem. Honestly, by BIL was like this now he's getting old and is alone. He was only ever interested in the chase. His relationships should be his business. Don't let him make them yours.

I think if you want your son to learn how to respect people's heart and trust - tell him how upset you are. Say you have told his girlfriend as you clearly have respect.