DD 10 has been looking at porn.

[taxiservice]

I'm devastated. She did an innocent search after dh had downloaded a new browser (mozilla). Found out she has been looking at horrible stuff.

I've told you what it means gm in an earlier post. It's ten men or thereabouts ejaculating on one woman's face. The implication is usually (though rarely not) that this is some kind of punishment of her, for being sexual.

Oh, thought it might be something like that.

I still think that the OP is potentially doing her daughter some harm with her attitudes.

Well I ahve just read the OP's posts again, and I think what is worrying is her emphasis on 'innocence' and 'protection' - a suggestion that she wants to keep her daughter from knowing anything about anything, which is not doing the child any favours. All children will sooner or later see things that confuse or distress them, and whatever they see, their parents need to be reassuring about it and not go into a squawking great frenzy about how dreadful it all is. The risk is that the DD will start thinking that she is bad for having looked, which is not healthy at all.

Nothing wrong with innocence and protection at 10. But I agree the dd shouldn't be made to feel bad for looking. I think the "oh, it's nothing, it's just normal" response would be equally damaging.

Dittany: you are projecting your own issues here. Porn and prostitution are not the same thing, and a 10-year-old is going to have a lot of trouble with the concepts around the various feminist perspectives of pornography - she's seen some pictures which have alarmed/fascinated/confused her. At least one of her psychological responses must have been curiosity - and curiousity is not remotely unhealthy. An explicit visual depiction of childbirth might well have alarmed and fascinated and confused a child just as much.
I do think that the most important things for the mother to do are to reassure the child that she isn't bad or dirty for having looked - and then, probably, to give the child access to some books that are age-appropriate, about healthy sexuality and sexual development: at 10 she may be beginning puberty anyway and need some information about sexuality presented in a calm and non-judgemental wway.

I agree with Dittany.. I think too many people are treating of this as a soapbox issue. I also think some of you would have the entire family in therapy for repressed sexuality! which is a bit odd. Surely the OP is allowed to not like porn and to have found sex in her own time. 14 isn't that old, for Pete's sake.

I understand those feelings about loss of innocence OP but there's no point wallowing in them. It will only make the situation worse. Your daughter seems to know you are open and able to talk about it, but is embarrassed by it and surprise surprise doesn't like talking about it. If I was her, I would be the same, and if I was you, I would be too. In fact I was, six years ago. But still of course one grits one's teeth and does it.

But I don't think there's anything wrong with being embarrassed -- there's an honesty in itself, accepting that it's embarrassing and difficult to talk about. But I WOULD hide the feelings of upset that you have. I think your daughter would be troubled by seeing you so profoundly upset by this.

In answer to nappyaddict's question way up the thread (sorry btw, rl got in the way) she was sent links from so-called friends through msn which she couldn't access from our main PC or my lap top due to child-controls. DH was working from home and she went on his laptop without him realising (needless to say it had no controls). Most of it was quite straight-forward apart from the old man stuff & bukkake.

I've since had another conversation with her, It came about naturally there was no formality and I compared some porn to people acting out or exaggerating sex and that real sex when you're in love is something lovely. She seemed happy with that.

I really hope the op managed to communicate with her dd and that they can both move on.

To completely change the subject, does anyone else notice that lately a lot of the time that trolls like MrBoombastic turn up they are joined by other moldies trolls with names we've never heard of who agree with and/or tell them they love them and tend to mention 'goats' at least once. Sth definitely fishy about that. If that's the case tho the other group on facebook must be very boring

What Dittany said, all of it.

I agree that it is a loss of innocence, that's what I originally found most upsetting. Just trying to deal with it the best way I can now.

AD do you think it might have been like a virus link. I get loads of random things sent to me on MSN but obviously know not to click on them. Or did her friends knowingly send them. If that is the case I think you need to have a quiet word with their parents. Presumably your DD didn't know what she was clicking on until it was too late?

NA, She asked her friends and they knew nothing about it. Normally her friends would chat with any links they sent, if they ever did. But these links came through unaccompanied by chat iyswim. So it looks like it was a virus/spam.

I mentioned it to the parents concerned anyway, just in case they are receiving them as well.

I think the link titles were quite graphic. maybe graphic enough to be intriguing to her but I don't think she had any idea how graphic.

Awww bless her. It seems like you dealt with it well though.

Thanks NA, I hope so.

It seemed like MrB & MissGordon had a bit of a double act going on and someone agreed with him/her about the goat thing?

Of course I could be wrong. I obviously need to mn more to realise these things.

I was the one who agreed I think, just posting before engaging brain, no trollery here honest guv!