DD 10 has been looking at porn.

[taxiservice]

I'm devastated. She did an innocent search after dh had downloaded a new browser (mozilla). Found out she has been looking at horrible stuff.

I'm with cory on this. The OP is far more likely to do damage to her child with suggestions that she is now in some way dirty just because of something she has seen than anything she could see by way of porn. And I hate porn.

The OP sounds like a Fry & Laurie sketch in which Hugh Laurie demands a replacement child because his is now "soiled" after telling his father that he had learned in biology that "sexual intercourse can result in pregnancy in the adult female."

Seriously, you are going to fuck up a young girl's sexuality before it has even started to develop with this sort of talk.

ffs NO-ONE is suggesting telling her dd that she has been soiled.

You are FAR more likely to fuck up a young girl\s sexuality by denying that seeing ten men simultaneously ejaculate on one woman's face could be upsetting to her.

Newsflash: her sexuality HAS already started to develop. Seeing the equiv of her grandfather fucking a girl six years older than her, and being unable to ask her mother about that (does anyone remember being 10) is far more likely to fuck it up mid-development than talking about what she;s seen.

Where did the OP say she had seen that? You were the only one who mentioned old men fucking teenagers. The OP hasn't specified at all that I can see.

I cab remember being 10 quite clearly.

I didn't say the OP was going to tell her daughter she was soiled, but the OP was the one who said she no longer felt her daughter was the same, and that her innocence has been removed. I thought that was something of an over-reaction.

Also the OP's whole attitude to sex sounds frankly odd, since her first reaction when she found out about it was "revulsion".

Does anyone else find Mr Boombastic scary?

Oh I agree that her mother should reassure her (if the girl wants to talk about it) that sex is not all like this, that sex is wonderful and fun and that some people are silly and nasty about it (because they are, at either end of the spectrum: a child who inadvertently got onto some of the loonier fundy sites could find some very upsetting stuff). But what the girl needs most of all would be confirmation that she is not 'damaged' and that her natural curiousity is not wrong or naughty or shameful. It might be time to give her access to some sensible, healthy books about sexuality and puberty, for instance.

Hang on a minute onebat, we've actually got no idea what the OP's dd saw. The bukkake is another poster on this thread who in her mind has resolved this to the best of her ability.
taxiservice never came back and explained what dd saw or discussed her own views on porn. She has only said "horrible stuff" which could mean just about anything.

I do object to pornography, but it is entirely possible to do damage by over stating the significance of this incident.

x posts with millions and georgimam has put it much better

Yes: I have seen lots of pornography and made some. It covers a wide range of topics and attitudes, and we DO NOT KNOW what this girl saw.

Yes, porn can make sex seem dirty and unpleasant, it does not follow that looking at porn totally skews your whole attitude to sex and the situation is irredeemable.

I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks that onebat made that whole thing up about the OP's dd seeing old men fucking teeangers. And as for bukkake, even I don't know what that is.

Oh balls, I have totally confused OP with another poster re bukkake and grandfather sex.
Sorry, that must have been v confusing.

I totally stand by my general argument though - OP's dd needs to know that
a. her mother's not terrified of discussing what she saw
b. that porn is not simply images of people having sex. It is something quite different.
c. that what she's seen is quite poss scary

no sgb, you're quite right that 'we DO NOT KNOW what this girl saw.'

However, if anyone cares to google 'sex' and follow a few links through, you'll get to the 'tight teen ass pounded till she bleeds' pretty quickly.

Or don't - you could just believe me.

I agree with all of those points, onebat, but it was actually the OP's choice of words to describe how she now feels about her daughter that alarmed me most. And if she genuinely feels that her daughter is "not the same" and her innocence has been "blown away" I don't think she is particularly well equipped to do those things.

Is it possible that some of you are projecting your own experiences of found porn mags onto this situation? The seventies/eighties are not really comparable tbh.

Internet porn is entirely different. I honestly don't think that most thinking people have taken this on board yet.

I see your point georgimama, but in that case shouldn't you address the OP's ideas about the 'innocence' of child sexuality directly? Pornography is a separate issue, isn't it?

I'm with georgimama here OBM: it's the suggestion that the OP is going to treat her daughter as irrevocably harmed by looking at a few images that is worrying.
Now there's a lot of alarming imagery and alarming concepts on the internet that could scare and distress a 10-year-old, and not all of it, by a long way, is porn (imagine a bright kid getting onto the Saw or Hostel websites or fanpages - or even something as beneficial - to adults - as some medical sites with graphic illustrations) - news stories can be very upsetting and distressing for children, and they need parental reassurance. But I think that treating 'porn' as the Worst Thing Possible does no one any favours.

I would have liked to talk to the OP about her perception of child and pubescent sexuality but unfortunately she didn't come back. I too found her posts alarming in their wording. From them I immediately assumed she had a issue with sex herself.

and 'And as for bukkake, even I don't know what that is' - with mobile internet etc, your dc's v quickly will.

Average age is apparently 10/11 for exposure to porn, and bukkake will be on the front page. You need to find out what bukkake is, I think - and to have an informed opinion about the general mainstream porn that's out there.

Try redtube.com
or pornhub.com
or porntube.com

these are free sites which stream vidoes (ie you watch them in real time, so not traceable on computer without tech-y kmowledge.

These sites come up when you enter 'free porn videos' into google, I think.

well I don't think I'm treating it as the worst thing possible, sgb. But this argument that there are worse things out there is entirely specious, as I've said before. the damage caused by IMAGE A is not reduced because IMAGE B is more damaging.

Seeing a woman with a fist in her anus is going to upset a 10 year old I think.

Let's just acknowledge that shall we, fgs? Then we can maybe think of strategies to deal with it.

I agree with dittany. I find porn revolting and sordid on a number of levels and would be gutted if one of my dc were exposed to it, mild or otherwise. Sorry this has happened to your dd OP

You're spectacularly missing the point, Dittany, the OP clearly does have an issue with sex in general, if she thought sex was revolting the first time she was introduced to the concept, and thinks her child is fundamentally altered for the worse by this minor exposure to porn.

I have a sneeking feeling I know what bukkake might be, I do have an imagination, just not up on terminology.

I think the conflation of porn with sex was one of the greatest sleights of hand in popular culture of the last 50 years.

if you disagree with porn, you disagree with sex snoort
if you are anti-porn, you are anti 'freedom'
if you are anti-pro-porn feminism, you are anti 'choice'

Those last two words - 'choice', and 'freedom' - are the new religion. There's a reason for that, though.