Having sex in the same room as dds................heeeeeeelp

[namechangedbutaregularmnetter]

Brief history...

I split with Dh 7 months ago, he is in a one bed premises, he has a girlfriend.

My dds spend 3 nights a week with him.
He has a double bed and a set of bunkbeds in the bedroom.
My ex is having sex with his gf while the dds are hopefully asleep.
DD2 discovered a used condom this am.
DDs are not happy with situation...have talked to him.

I have just spoken to him...apparently i am not being 'grown up' about it.

I feel sick, i have step daughters and respected their privacy at all times...
and now i'm going to rant...
feck i need a smoke...and i'm giving up....

hmmm...anyhoo....heeelp

No chance WHATSOEVER. Your dd's are old enough to express a view and have that considered anyway. It is a classic tactic of bullying exes: if they raise this scariest of prospects they assume you willnback down and accept the status quo. He hasn't got a leg to stand on.

He's a bully and he's backed himself into a corner so is lashing out at you.

Your poor dds

He is moving house so he will no longer be sleeping or having sex in the same room... i wish i could show you his bullying texts... but i guess you can imagine.

I am no longer responding to him.

I faced fight or flight today and so wanted to just run.
Am going to fight all the way.

I'm tired.
Thanks again x

My dad and stepmum did this once when we were on holiday and had to share a room. I was about 12, brother was about 10. Your children are lucky to have a mother who will protect them. I wish you all the best, you are doing the right thing. x

If your dds refused to go in all seriousness what would the police do "we don't want to go because they had sex in the same room we were sleeping in" somehow I think the police would tell him to take it to court rather than enforcing the contact order!

i am pretty sure he cant stop you from moving out of the area

If there is risk of sexual abuse, not direct but exposing the girls to his sex life etc, and having a girlfriend who is also willing to expose the girls to this, social services and police are aware, And if your daughters want to refuse to go there when this is happening, there is no judge or police officer that would force them to see their father, or make them visit. Hes talking out of his arse, just idle threats trying to normalise his behaviour, from a abusive ex partner who wants to keep control. The claim that you are 'over reacting' is a classic that usually is turfed out when they've done something wrong. Your girls must be proud of the mother you are and the steps your taking to protect them. xxxx

If this wasn't so horrible, I'd laugh out loud. He's been reported to social services for inapproriate sexual conduct in his daughters' presence, and he is seriously considering applying for full custody?????

He's insane.

As a "stepmum" and parent Im appalled by the behaviour of the OP's ex.
DSD is was 3 when we met....
She is only 6 but still we dont hug or hold hands in front of her just in case that would upset her.

Having sex in the same room as 9 to 10 year olds? More than wrong!!!

Keep all the bullying texts he has sent you.

I hate him
Fecking hate him

Beatrix - are you ok?

Just want to add my support and encouragement - don't let him wear you down. You are absoltley doing the right thing by your girls in standing up to this. I don't know what he's done now, but don't let him bully you.

Thanks all smile]

I'm feeling much better at the moment.
I have told a couple of non supportive 'friends' where to go.
I am not speaking to EX at all...will not be bullied or pulled into an argument.

He emotionally battered me this last week.
I am directing my anger into positive energy and am leaving it to my solicitor and the professionals to deal with.

I saw him today and i felt in control...thanks to you all...Happy Easter x

Well done Beatrix. Leaving it to the solicitors seems like a very positive move at the moment.

Time to take a step back and give your dds all your time and energy.

Absolutely. Well done you.