shocked - mum left 9 yr old at home on own

[katiekittlemouse]

was at a sports centre today with dd's and shocked to hear that whilst taking her youngest 2 dd's swimming had left the eldest dd who is just 9yrs old at home on her own!!!

I am shocked! would you do that??? I wouldn't for sure!

lottie- 13! And that woman arched her eyebrows? What a nutter! If she has a 13 yr old, I dread to think what he/she is like...

I left my 9 year old and 7 year old for 10 mins this morning whilst I took DS4 to preschool. Thet have my mobile number, know to get out if there is a fire and to knock on the next door neighbour's door if worried.

My mother phoned when I was out, DS1 answered - she is outraged.

She used to send me to the shop down the road with a note aged 3. ( I am looking forward to reminding her of this later.)

The thing I worry about is what if there was a fire etc? Would they know how to get out safely?

I would be shocked too. Its not something I would do, but my 8 year old is not very sensible and I cant imagine him changing in the next year!

yes, my ds is 9 in April and there is no way I would leave him alone. He is just not ready yet. It is an individual thing

Yes alliebongo, they would. Otherwise they wouldn't be left. You have to trust to your own DCs common sense.

Yes, it's a trust thing. You know your child and you know when they ar eready. I wouldn't have dreamed of doing it a year ago.

Mine know what to do if there is a fire, (get out and stay out) and also not to answer the door. Wish I'd rememebered to tell them not to answer the phone.

I can't imagine leaving my children at home at that age. DS1 is nearly 6 and DS2 is nearly 4. I'm sure they grow up massively in that time but I must admit I too was pretty shocked All that said, my opinion may well change nearer the time..... just can't quite imagine them being sensible enough though

charlie - my opinion changed. Threads like this pop up now and again, I always used to think I'd never leave them but I was totally comfortable about doing it this morning. I'd never leave DS3 with them but the big two are fine.

I had a right kerfuffle this morning deciding whether to leave dd 8 alone while I took ds to school.

She often goes to the shop alone but I felt different about her being home alone.

Mostly this is because I can remember my Mum disasterously leaving me aged 4 with chickenpox while she went to the corner shop.

After about 4 mins I got scared and ran out of the house and straight across the road, nearly getting run over, my new school shoe came off and got run over and I had shut the door locking us both out!

My DD1 is 10 and she has been coming home from school and being on her own until I get in from work (at 5.30 ish). So that's a good 1.5 to 2 hours alone.

She makes a mess and eats a load of crap but she's good, she doesn't answer the door and only answers the phone if she recognises the number.

I'm on Mat Leave now and I think she's a bit gutted tbh, as I make her eat sensible fruit

DD2 however I would not leave until she was 30, she's dangerous

LOL Grumpy! Guess you're right, it depends on the child

My son will be 9 in a year and I can't imagine leaving him alone at all. I have left them while nipping next door for 10 minutes but it stressed me so much that I will not do it again for a while. They were put in front of the tv and giving strict instructions not to move. They didn't, thank goodness.

We have left her at home (but she's not really on her own as granny lives on the top floor). If there were a fire though, dd would have to deal with it as granny is 84 and wouldn't be able to get there in time. However, dd is a sensible child and won't answer the door or phone while we're out, unless granny is actually downstairs with her.

At the moment I wouldn't leave her alone as we have a situation to resolve.

the dd in question would have been left for about an hour as the lesson is 30 mins, plus time for getting changed before and after and driving to and from the pool...

I have a very sensible 9 year old and I wouldnt leave her home alone, neither would any of my friends or people I know. People would be very shocked if they knew of a child that young being left.

If you can all live with yourselves if something happens then thats fine but personally I couldnt.

But what is the 'something' that might happen?

Orm - the Aliens will come and abduct them

'just can't quite imagine them being sensible enough though'

If you don't imagine it they never will be. You need to start giving them responsibilities and working up to it.
Mine had rules at that age and I trusted them to keep to them, which they did. They were not allowed to do anything that might cause a fire.

Looks like we're in the minority mumto2, but I agree with you. I would not leave my v sensible 10 year old nor my 5 year old for half an hour.

A 10-year old friend of DDs is left alone regularly - her mom works the occasional evening, so she's alone for around 4 hours at a time. Without naming her I have casually asked around friends/work colleagues of mine and not one thought that was responsible and no, they wouldn't do it either.

Of course! Those pesky aliens!

The 'something' that could happen-they could be abducted, a fire could start, they could choke on something, they could suddenly become ill, they could fall down the stairs and knock themselves out, the house could be burgled, you could return home and there is no sign of them..... or something could happen to you when you are out and nobody would know there is a child on their own in the house.

Im sure you are going to say these things are rare but still I wouldnt risk it, not when its so avoidable-just take them with you !

You make a good point mumto2 - IME children can 'suddenly' become ill - esp. being sick, getting a temperature etc. Even if they're not very young a mature 9/10 year old can become like a clingy toddler when they're ill or in pain and they NEED you (or another known adult of course).