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Original poster

shocked - mum left 9 yr old at home on own

366 replies

katiekittlemouse · 10/03/2009 20:30

was at a sports centre today with dd's and shocked to hear that whilst taking her youngest 2 dd's swimming had left the eldest dd who is just 9yrs old at home on her own!!!

I am shocked! would you do that??? I wouldn't for sure!

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letswiggle · 10/03/2009 21:29

I'm not shocked. My ds 6yo is very sensible - wouldn't leave him at home now, but in 3 years he'll definitely be ready. They need to know things like how to call you/other people, not to open the door etc. I think you know whether your child is responsible enough or not.

I'm already teaching my kids how to do things like work the cooker, washing machine etc. I get them to turn things on and off for me so they know how it all works. I think learning these things is very important. How pathetic not to be able to heat up your dinner at 18!

HerBeatitudeLittleBella · 10/03/2009 22:44

LOL at the idiot engineering student

cat64 · 10/03/2009 22:53

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GoodGrrrlGoneBad · 11/03/2009 07:25

my parents used to leave home alone for an hour or two looking after my baby brother. i was very mature for my age. it does depend on the 9yr old i think.

cory · 11/03/2009 07:56

Another one unshocked here. My 8yo is definitely capable of being left at home for an hour or so. He knows what he is not allowed to do and is very reliable. He also makes his own way home from school and goes to the nearest shops on his own. And he is still far more molly-coddled than his Scandinavian cousins.

HecatesTwopenceworth · 11/03/2009 07:59

I'm not shocked, I am surprised because I am not sure that a 9 yr old is safe to be left alone. But maybe that's just my own experience of my own 9 yr old

I cannot imagine leaving either of mine alone, now or ever! I'd be too scared of what might happen!

admylin · 11/03/2009 08:06

I'd only do it if the dc agrees and feels OK about it. I have 2dc and when ds was 8 he wanted to stay home alone and didn't mind up to 20 minutes - aged 9 I could leave him for longer but dd is now 9 and still won't stay even for 10 minutes so she always has to tag along.

piscesmoon · 11/03/2009 08:07

It depends entirely on the DC a, if they are sensible b, if they are happy to be left and c, if you discuss it, have rules and they know where to go for help.
It is a much better option for them than to be forced to tag along to somewhere they don't want to go. I left mine at that age.
I find that they tend to live up to your expectations-so it is better to have high ones.

sarah293 · 11/03/2009 08:09

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cory · 11/03/2009 08:09

The thing is, I am sure I'm going to love ds just as much when he is 19 and has to move away from home. So I'd rather he developed a few skills before then. The time will come when he has only himself to rely on.

SoupDragon · 11/03/2009 08:14

Not sure I'd leave mine alone for the length of time it took me to take 2 other children swimming. I have no qualms about leaving them for school runs and other pick ups up to about an hour. I think I'd start getting edgy after an hour

hippipotamiHasLostSixPounds · 11/03/2009 08:15

Not shocked. I have been leaving ds (9.6) home for anything up to 20 minutes. He also pops to the shops (highstreet within 2 mins walk) for me and sometimes walks to school on his own (school 10 min walk only one road to cross which has level crossing)

belgo · 11/03/2009 08:15

I'm shocked that you're shocked.
Agree with piscesmoon.

Ivykaty44 · 11/03/2009 08:21

I have a 9 year old and for up to an hour I will leave her at home, for an eve at college though I get her a babysitter as I feel 3 hours is to long for her to be alone in the house, but that is just my feelings.

What is right for one 9 year old is not right for another.

BonsoirAnna · 11/03/2009 08:22

Not remotely shocking to leave a responsible 9 year old at home for an hour or so.

themoon66 · 11/03/2009 08:23

I used to leave DD home at 9 whilst I took DS aged 4 to swimming. Was out about 1.5 hours. She even used to do hereself cheese on toast, beans on toast or an omlette with no bother.

When I was 8 my mum worked mornings, leaving me in charge of house and 4 year old sister from 8.30am to approx 12.30.

We ate a lot of crap like cooking choclolate and raw drinking choc powder, but we didn't die.

nickschick · 11/03/2009 08:28

I think that in this day and age children need to have some 'trust' - I struggled to face this with my eldest ds and as a result up until he started secondary school used to trundle everywhere with 3 children in tow.

DS3 is 8 and fully competent with a phone etc and I had no other choice than to leave him for 15 mins(elder ds was flat out in bed poorly) whilst I collected a prescription for elder ds - my heart was in my mouth i foned home twice lol but he coped very well and was proud hed been trusted!!.

I myself was left as a 7 year old on new years day with a week old baby!!

sarah293 · 11/03/2009 08:30

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Nemoandthefishes · 11/03/2009 08:33

I remember being left home ill in bed when I was around 9. My mum had to go to work and there was no one to look after me so I stayed in bed and she came home about 4hrs later.
I can see myself being able to leave DS when he is 9 but dont think DD2 would be as responsible

abraid · 11/03/2009 08:48

I do this frequently for up to half an hour.

I often leave my 12-year old for an hour and a half.

They are sensible children who know the drill.

GooseyLoosey · 11/03/2009 08:50

Not shocked at all. Was looking at my nearly 6 year old ds the other day who begged to be allowed to stay at home rather than go shopping and thought that it would not be too long before I would agree (not now of course).

What I would not do in the forseeable future is leave ds and dd in the house together. God knows what I would come home to and I do not think that either would be safe (from the other).

pooter · 11/03/2009 09:03

not shocked. Like the moon66 i was left ot babysit my younger brother when i was 8, from 3.30 - 6 every day as my mum was working. However, the day my 6yr old DB DIDNT come home from school, and i had spent 2.5 hrs running round the village like a maniac shouting for him, then greeted my mum with a panic stricken 'pootersbro has been KIDNAPPED' was the day she looked for another job.

(he'd just gone to a friends house)

on second thoughts, if the child is sensible and nothing untoward happens then there will be no problems. However, if something happens i dont think its fair to expect the child to be able to cope. I actually remember being quite anxious waiting for my mum to get home - just in case.

duchesse · 11/03/2009 09:05

Didn't we have this the other day? The balance of opinion I think was that most 9 yr olds are perfectly fine to be left at home alone for an hour or so, and that most don't ever get the chance to show how mature they are because of helicopter over anxious parenting.

DaisyMooSteiner · 11/03/2009 09:06

Wow. A 'home alone' thread where everyone agrees!

abraid · 11/03/2009 09:09

And nobody has yet said they'd 'report' the mothers concerned to Social Services!