Anti-tips: things I have learned the hard way

[Mines]

I thought it might be useful to share a few parenting tips on things that definitely do not work....

1. mixing chocolate biscuits and bathtime has serious impact on both nutritional value and child laundering. Don't do it.

2)Nappy cream is not good as mayonnaise

3)Nappyless babies and natural fibre carpets do not mix.

Anyone else got any useful ones?

Don't let them in your wardrobe without a nappy on. It's hard to love your favourite shoes as much if a small person has wee'd in them.

How to wake a baby up;

1. have a thought which contains the phrase "if s/he just sleeps for 20 minutes more I can do x/y/z"
2. make yourself something to eat which is hot and/or requires a spoon (eg soup)
3. discover that you have run out of something essential eg nappies which will be needed soon after waking.

Don't leave dog biscuits in reach of a toddler.

lol, hovely i've always wondered why people say it's hard to wake a sleeping baby, just attempt to make a phone call or have a cup of tea and bingo...

If breastfeeding your baby, do not eat curry, or the next day she will do a massive poo that will explode out of the nappy and all over Grandpa's trousers while she is on his lap.

Pregnancy flab does not 'just fall off you' when the baby is born / while you are breastfeeding / when you stop breastfeeding / ever.

No cream eggs for me this year